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Matchmaking agency expectations vs reality

Dating shows have become one of the nation’s biggest guilty pleasures. With so many out there that claim to showcase the work that matchmakers do to help their clients find love, you can’t help but wonder if these shows really match up to the reality of the matchmaking process.

In this article, we’re going to look at the process behind these shows, some of the biggest misconceptions that dating shows give the audience and how the matchmaking process matches up in real life.

Let’s get started.

TV matchmakers have a whole team to back them

The overall matchmaking process is represented as being much shorter on TV; after all, they have to fit the whole process from start to finish into just an hour (or even half an hour) programming.

Though these shows typically receive a lot more applications and potential dates than seen on screen, TV matchmakers have a whole team of dating professionals behind them helping to assess and choose the ideal candidates for their clients. In reality, and unlike Ignite Dating who have a head office team of dating professionals, matchmakers don’t always have as many resources at hand to speed up the selection process.

That said, there are some similarities. For example, it turns out that TV matchmakers, just like the rest of us, rely on a good social media and google stalk to help determine the suitability of a potential date. After all, digital footprints can be very revealing when it comes to finding out more about a person. 

Reality shows set unrealistic expectations

As with all reality TV shows, there is a certain level of exaggeration and over-dramatisation involved to boost audience ratings and make the programme more watchable. This often includes adding glitz and glamour to the whole process.

The reality is that dating isn’t always smooth, and matchmakers don’t always have a straightforward route to finding their clients love. Despite what you see on TV, it is unlikely that you are going to find true love on your first match. While it can happen on occasions, trust us we have had a fair few successes on the first or second match ourselves, it is more likely that your dating journey will see you having a few introductions before you find that one that you are looking for.

What’s more, these TV shows set unrealistic views of love and romance that can leave people with unrealistic expectations. Think about it, on screen the couples seem to be blown away by grand, romantic gestures and literal sweeping off their feet, something which often doesn’t happen in real life. It is important to remember the things that are vital to you, and while we would all love that fairytale moment, it is far more important to find someone that has the same values, aspirations and lifestyle as you.

Plus, the whole show suggests that this quick process leads to love at first sight. Unfortunately, this isn’t usually the case and people are often expecting much quicker results than can be delivered. This puts even more pressure on matchmakers to deliver results quickly and takes away the gratification of being introduced to the right person in favour of the instant gratification of being introduced to just anybody.

Matchmakers aren’t accurately represented

Because they are there to do their job but also entertain the audience, TV matchmakers are often exaggerated and not portrayed accurately.

For example, Indian Matchmaking star Sima Taparia portrays matchmakers as quite blunt with a ‘say it how it is’ approach. This is not always the case and more often than not you will find that matchmakers will have more emotional intelligence when dealing with clients and deliver rejection in a kinder way.

Of course, these types of matchmakers might exist, but for the most part your matchmaker is usually quite empathetic and approachable and there to support you and ensure that you feel happy and positive on your dating journey – not to give you tough love.

Don’t believe everything you see on TV

While reality shows might be great as a guilty pleasure or perfect for binge-watching after a busy week, it is important to remember that these don’t accurately portray matchmakers, dating agencies or the dating journey.

The best way to really understand the matchmaker that you are going to be working with is to meet them in person, this will allow you to build a rapport with them and find out more about how you gel together. It also gives you a chance to discover more about the agency and their individual matchmaking process, as well as getting an insight into potential introductions to enable you to make an informed decision as to whether it is the right matchmaker and agency for you.

So, if you’re looking for a professional and friendly matchmaker that will help you to find the perfect match for you, then look no further than Ignite Dating. Get in touch with our team today to find out how they can help you get started on your dating journey right away.

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How to get over the nerves of dating

Whether you’re bereaved, divorced or simply been single for a while, dating can be a nerve-wracking and daunting prospect for anyone. Your age, gender, life experience and relationship status will have little effect on how nervous you are when it is time to get back on the dating scene. But the good news is, with the right advice it doesn’t have to be so daunting.

There are some important steps that you can take to help ease your nerves and find the fun in dating again. Not least of all, working with an experienced matchmaker and relationship coach who can help guide you through the various stages of dating and ensure that you enjoy a dating journey that leaves you feeling confident, energized and safe.

In this blog, we’re going to look at some useful tips to help you get over your dating nerves and explore how a matchmaker can offer any additional, but necessary, support along the way.

Get yourself a matchmaker or relationship coach

Firstly, and most obviously, you need to get yourself a matchmaker or enlist the services of a fully qualified relationship coach. This is particularly important if you have had a negative dating experience in the past, you are feeling lost and confused about how to meet the right person or it has simply been a long time since you dated, and you are unsure about the new dating landscape.

Signing up to a professional matchmaking and introductions agency, like Ignite Dating, can instantly ease the nerves you feel about starting your dating experience. From the moment you begin your dating journey, you can be safe in the knowledge that you’ll have the help and support of an experienced and dedicated professional every step of the way, making the dating world feel a little less intimidating and taking the uncertainty and guess work out of finding that potential lifetime partner – giving you the best chance of achieving that ultimate goal of a long-term, committed relationship.

Understand where you may have gone wrong in the past

Another important way to feel calmer about dating is to understand where you might have gone wrong in the past. If you can understand why previous relationships haven’t worked out, you can do your best to rectify these issues in the future and recognise any red flags or warning signs that are likely to lead you down the same path.

A qualified dating and relationship coach will be able to help you work this out. They can discuss any previous relationships and dating experiences that you have had and help you to identify where the issues were and how to best handle those situations should they arise again. They can also help you to understand your dating attachment style and those that are best suited to your attachment style and identify any areas of personal growth that you can work on together to give you the best chance of success and ensure that you are ready for the new journey ahead.

Plan the ideal date

When it comes to meeting any introductions in person, you need to plan the ideal first date for you. This means choosing a place, time and activity that is going to make you feel as comfortable and at ease as possible. We would also recommend that you choose something that will allow you to extend if you wish but not feel too awkward if you need to cut it short if the chemistry is not there for you.

For example, while bike rides or bowling might be fun ideas, if these aren’t your usual activities don’t use a first date as an excuse to try out a new hobby. Instead, pick something simple, perhaps just going for a drink in a relatively quiet and lowkey place where you have the chance to talk and get to know each other with the flexibility to extend the date should you both be enjoying one another’s company.

If you’re unsure what to do, your dedicated matchmaker will be able to advise the best date ideas that take into account both of your personalities, skills and interests, making that planning process easier.

Wear something that makes you feel good

Much like choosing a new activity is not ideal for a first date, don’t use this opportunity to wear something new that could make you feel uncomfortable or self-conscious. While a new shirt or dress may seem like a good idea to begin with, sometimes old favourites are the better option.

Be sure to wear something that you feel great in and that makes you feel comfortable. After all, you don’t want to be fiddling around with your clothes all night and often when you are uncomfortable it shows in your body language and can be misinterpreted as lack of interest by your date – which could be miles from the truth.

If you’re unsure about what to wear, speak with your dating coach, matchmaker or even get a friend or family member over to offer their honest advice and help you choose an outfit that shows you off in the best light without adding any discomfort.

Set realistic expectations

When it comes to dating, you need to make sure you don’t set your expectations unrealistically high, either for yourself or your date. Having a more grounded focus on what is really important to you and what you are hoping to achieve can help to relieve some of the pressure and reduce your nerves.

If you know you tend to get stressed or expect too much from your dating journey and subsequently your introductions, speak to your matchmaker. They’ll be able to help you set realistic expectations for your own personal journey and your introductions to ensure that you are not adding unnecessary pressure to yourself to achieve the impossible.

Breathe

Last, but certainly not least, you need to remember to breathe! There is someone out there for everyone, so don’t stress or feel disheartened if the first, second or even third date doesn’t lead to a long-term relationship. Just take a breath and trust the process. If you have enlisted the services of a professional matchmaker, trust that they know what they are doing and listen to any advice that they give you as this will all help you to enjoy the dating journey and find that long-term, committed relationship that you are looking for.

If you’re looking for support and advice on dating and someone to help calm your nerves, the expert team of matchmakers at Ignite Dating is here to help. Get in touch with us today to take that first step and start your new dating journey.

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How a year of lockdown has changed dating

The Coronavirus pandemic took its toll on everyone. With numerous lockdowns in place, socialising all but banned, gyms, restaurants and pubs closed and everyone being forced to work from home, not one part of our lives remained normal. But one of the biggest groups to suffer as a result of these imposed restrictions was single people.

Living alone amplified the feeling of isolation. For the best part of a year, they waited patiently to be able to meet new people in person, to go on dates and to try and begin building new relationships.

And as we begin to come out the other side, it is clear to see that through this period of dormancy there has been a big shift in the dating landscape. From vaccination statuses on dating profiles to socially distanced date nights, lockdown has had a huge impact on the dating world over the last year and with some of these changes set to stay, single people have to find a way to navigate the dating scene once again.

Video calls have become a part of dating

Pre-lockdown only 35% of adults ever really used the video calling functionality on their mobiles, but thanks to the lockdowns that were imposed video calls became a hugely important way for people to stay in contact during the pandemic, be that friends, families, colleagues, or partners. Those who were still trying to salvage some sort of dating life during lockdown also relied on these platforms to enable virtual dates with potential new partners – most of which they had met online.

But as lockdown lifts and people can meet in person again, it looks like video calls will be much more commonplace in dating. In fact, seven out of ten adults are now making video calls at least weekly, and although this is unlikely to replace face-to-face dates it will feature in most blossoming relationships as a way to stay in touch on the days that they cannot see each other in person.

People are choosing to take it slow

Imagine speaking to someone online for months without being able to meet in person. Well, this was the reality for a lot of people during lockdown, and in many cases, it led to deeper emotional connections in the long run.

As such, it has sparked a trend of people choosing to date more slowly and placing more of an emphasis on getting to know someone more deeply before taking things to the next level, even as restrictions begin to ease.

People want to know your status

No, we don’t mean that singletons are out to uncover your dating status; rather they want to know if you’ve been vaccinated.

Although we’ve begun to get a handle on the Coronavirus, there is still no cure, and many are remaining very cautious – particularly when meeting new people outside of their social bubbles. This has seen a huge spike in people adding their vaccination status to their dating profiles in a bid to secure more dates and, most importantly, make their dates feel safer and more at ease when meeting in person.

Many have realised that they want to settle down

For all the social events, dates and cosy nights in that were missed during the lockdown, lots of single people who were once happy with their independent lifestyle have realised that they miss the intimacy and closeness that a committed relationship brings.

Throughout lockdown, we have really come to appreciate the relationships that we have with those around us, be those friendly, romantic or family connections. As a result, many single people have re-evaluated the life that they had and gained a renewed focus in the search for someone to settle down with.

People will be more open-minded when dating

Having gone months without much company, lots of single people have had the time to reassess what they are looking for in a partner and realised how trivial some of the traits and qualities that would have once put them off a person, might actually be.

Now that restrictions are easing and people are stepping back into the dating world, we’re likely to see people approaching dating with a more open mind and letting go of some of the factors that they would have once described as deal-breakers. After all, if the Coronavirus pandemic has taught us anything, it has taught us what is really important in this life and given us a renewed focus to go out and get it!

After a year of lockdown, you might be ready to get back on the dating scene. If so, our expert matchmakers can help support you through this new dating landscape. Get in touch with our team today to get your dating journey back on track this year and find that right person that you have been looking for.

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When is the right time to be intimate

You might have heard of the three-date rule. Sometimes this is extended to the ten-date rule. Other times this goes out of the window within the first 24 hours. With so many variations, is there ever a right time to be intimate with a new partner?

This is something that many have debated over the years, although it would appear that there is no one-size-fits-all approach. After all, every person and every dating journey is different and what works for one relationship may not be the same for another.  

So, to help you make an informed decision about whether now is the right time to be intimate, we have shared with you six signs that you’re ready to take your relationship to the next level.

1. You’ve got great chemistry

First and foremost, you need to make sure you have great chemistry with your date and that you actually find them attractive. There is no point taking your relationship to that next level if you do not feel physically attracted to them, as it just leads to confusing and mixed signals for the other person if you then decide to call it a day.  

2. You trust them

And of course, before you’re intimate with anyone, it’s absolutely vital that you trust them. Intimacy, particularly for a female, goes far beyond being purely physical so it’s important to ensure that you have a real connection with that person before you take that next step.

3. You’re both looking for the same thing

It’s a good idea to discuss what you’re looking for from a relationship and to decide together that you would like to be exclusive to ensure you’re both on the same page. This stops either of you from being misled or getting hurt at a later date if you do choose to be intimate.

4. You’ve talked about intimacy

Often it helps to speak about intimacy, whether in-person or over the phone. This can let you both know what to expect and know that you’re both moving at the same pace.

5. You’re really comfortable around them

Remember, being intimate can be a huge step and you need to make sure you feel relaxed and comfortable with them. If you don’t, this could be a sign that something’s not right and you should refrain from taking that next step until you feel comfortable.

6. You’re prepared for a little awkwardness

Let’s face it, sometimes these things don’t always go to plan and it’s common for a little awkwardness during intimacy, especially in a new relationship when you are just getting used to each other and what you like and don’t like. Not to mention you’ve got to be prepared for them to see your bedhead the next day! 

What you need to bear in mind before getting intimate

As we said, being intimate can be a big deal for some people and there are certain things you need to consider before you take your relationship to that next level.

Before anything happens, you need to ensure:

  • It’s what you (and they) want
  • It’s completely consensual for both parties
  • You’ve talked about safety and you’re happy that they’ll respect you and your wishes

There might not be any set time limit on intimacy, but keeping these signs in mind you’ll know when it’s the right time for you. Of course, just make sure you both feel the same way and you’re not being rushed into anything. That’s the most important thing.

At Ignite Dating, we understand that being intimate with a new partner can be a big step, which is why it’s so important that you only take things to the next level when you’re both ready. If you’ve still not found the right person to be intimate with, we can help. Get in touch with our team today and our matchmakers can help you take the next step on your dating journey.

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Dating across the pond: how to date someone from abroad

It’s a scene that has been replayed in rom-coms and TV shows for decades, but it seems there is some truth to the highly portrayed attraction between Brits and Americans dating across the pond.

While these fictional shows may emphasise the effect that an accent can have on someone from another nation (think Hugh Grant in Notting Hill), it seems that the attraction between Americans and Brits is just as strong as it has ever been. That is, if Meghan and Harry or GiGi and Zayn are anything to go by.

However, it’s important to know that the cultural differences stretch far beyond the different accents. In this guide, we’ll highlight the key differences between dating in America and dating in Britain and talk you through some of the most common mistakes when looking to date someone who is originally from another country, so you can enjoy a better dating experience and  a long-term committed relationship with someone from across the pond.  Check out our insights below.

Dating in Britain vs dating in America

If you’re considering dating someone from across the pond, it’s worth knowing that there are some big differences between the UK and the US when it comes to dating. Some of the key cultural differences include:

  • British dates almost always involve drinking, whereas Americans tend to date sober
  • Americans tend to go out for dates during the day, where Brits tend to favour the evening
  • Brits are less forward and therefore less likely to approach a stranger and ask for their number (or for a date)
  • Whereas dating is more of a hobby in America, so serial dating is a thing. This means you should not assume you’re exclusively dating an American unless you’ve had the ‘talk’
  • Americans like to ask a lot of questions and this can make dates feel a bit like an interview. And yes, some of these questions might seem odd to us Brits
  • British people tend to shy away from public displays of affection (PDAs)
  • Despite this, Brits tend to be quicker to get intimate. Whereas, we’ve all heard of the American ‘base’ system which means they tend to move slower when they meet someone new
  • And finally, Americans like to double date believing that double the people equals double the fun

But while opposites often attract – it’s not all stark differences – there are some commonalities when it comes to dating in the UK and the US. Firstly, the shared language and histories make it much easier to relate to one another, rather than learning about an entirely new and different cultural background.

Not only this, but good conversation and a sense of humour are important on both sides of the pond – even if the British sense of humour tends to err more on the side of sarcasm.

How to embrace these differences to build strong relationships

The good news is despite the cultural differences, there are some simple ways you can build strong relationships with your partner from across the pond.

If you’re dating a Brit:

Remember, events like Valentine’s Day or meeting the parents are not such a big deal in the UK, so try to take these in your stride and not go too over the top when making plans.

It’s also worth recognising that while Americans may be more inclined to focus on and talk about personal aspects such as salary, work and where you live on the first date, these material qualities are less important in the UK and the focus is more on building a genuine relationship with someone. So, skip the interview-style questions and ask them about their interests, aspirations and lifestyle to unlock the type of person that they are.

If you’re dating an American:

Be prepared to slow things down and adapt the way you date. This means forgoing the pub on occasion (it’s hard, we know) and instead shaking up date night with a few day dates thrown in. Why not use it, as a perfect excuse to introduce your date to some of your favourite passions and learn some of theirs too?

You also need to be prepared to talk more openly about your relationship and intimacy. Americans are far more open and forward when it comes to dating and talking about the relationship and where it is heading is something that is important to Americans – it also makes it easier to know where you stand.  

With clients based in both the UK and the US, Ignite Dating has a strong insight into the cultural differences of both nations and what makes dating different depending on where you are from. So, if you’re looking to find love across the pond, perhaps we can help. Get in touch with our talented team of matchmakers today to find out more.

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Why is vaccination becoming the new dating deal-breaker

There was a time when being tall, dark and handsome was enough to tick all the right boxes – but now it appears that your willingness to have the COVID-19 vaccination can also impact the number of dates you get and why vaccination in dating is now important.

Depending on where you stand on the issue, this might seem baffling and maybe even unfair. But the reality is, in a post-pandemic world, the vaccine could be the new deal-breaker when it comes to finding the perfect partner.

How do we know this?

Data from a number of dating apps has recently revealed a surge in users sharing their vaccine status in the hope of securing a date. In fact, Tinder has seen a 238% increase in profiles mentioning vaccines or using the syringe emoji to signify that they have been vaccinated.

Not only this, but users who report that they have already had the vaccine are being ‘liked’ twice as much as those who haven’t. A trend that is finding its way through other dating avenues too.

And so, it would appear that a stable job, good sense of humour and common interests are no longer enough to seal the deal.

But is it really that surprising?

After three lockdowns, months away from our loved ones, working from home and the inability to shop, socialise, date or even workout whenever we want, it’s understandable that people are keen to get back to normality.

And if the vaccine is the way to do this, then it’s easy to see why so many are keen to have theirs done.

Plus, lots of us have vulnerable relatives at home or are vulnerable ourselves, so it makes sense to protect our health and our loved ones in any way we can. After all, some will be caring for their parents, children or they might look after others as part of their job. For some people, not getting the vaccine is simply not an option.

A huge part of finding that perfect partner is finding someone who shares the same interests, beliefs and values as you. And with some people out there believing that the pandemic was a hoax, it stands to reason that those who took it seriously might not consider these people the best match for them!

Should you add your vaccine status to your dating profile?

You might have mixed feelings about the vaccine if you haven’t already had it, but after the last year it’s easy to understand why so many of us are more concerned about our health and well-being.

Either way, whether you’ve had the vaccine or you intend to have it when you can, it’s likely that this is a question you’ll get asked a lot as you continue on your dating journey.

Gone are the days of establishing someone’s name, occupation and hobbies at that first meeting. Nowadays, you can expect one of the first questions you are asked when meeting someone new to be “have you been vaccinated?’”, followed shortly by “will you be having the vaccine?” if you haven’t already.

While not everyone will be happy with this new trend, it is the reality of the post-pandemic dating world. Rather than fight it, it’s best to be prepared for the questions that are sure to come, regardless of where you stand on getting vaccinated as vaccination in dating is important.

As the world begins to return to some sort of normal, you might feel like the time has come to get back out there and start looking for love again. The team at Ignite Dating can help you on your dating journey and can support you in finding the perfect match. So, get in touch with our friendly team today to get started..

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A match made in heaven

Ignite Dating is a well-respected elite matchmaking and introductions agency with extensive experience and ever-growing recognition. We have been going from strength to strength over the last 14 months, culminating a hugely successful year of service with an accreditation from the Matchmaking Institute.

The global association, which offers training and resources to new and experienced matchmakers all over the world, is one of the only authoritative voices of the matchmaking industry. With its accreditation programmes and professional conferences, the Matchmaking Institute ensures its members have everything they need to launch and run a successful and ethical matchmaking business – upholding them to the highest ethical standards.

To receive accreditation from the association, Ignite Dating had to showcase the ethical way in which we onboard our clients and source suitable introductions for them with integrity to achieve the overall mission of finding them a lifelong partner. We also highlighted the exceptional levels of customer service and competency that our clients receive, something that we pride ourselves on and achieve on a daily basis.

We are delighted to be an accredited member of the Matchmaking Institute, an organisation whose values and mission align so well with our own. As part of the global network, Ignite Dating will collaborate with other accredited agencies worldwide to help our clients achieve that goal of a long-term relationship.

At Ignite Dating, we understand that the key to success is finding the right agency for you. Every person is different, but there are commonalities between people’s dating journeys and with extensive expertise and knowledge of the industry our expert matchmakers can help you to achieve success in love. To find out more, get in touch with our friendly team today.

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Are you truly ready to date?

When it comes to dating – particularly after a bereavement, divorce or a long pause following a break-up – it can be confusing to know if you are truly ready to date again. While friends and family may urge you to “get back out there”, there is no obligation to make a move until you feel comfortable doing so. It can be nerve-wracking enough to take the plunge and start dating again, but if your social situation is completely different to when you were last single it can also be quite bewildering – but it does not have to be.

The first step in finding that special someone is to make sure you are ready, and you have dealt with the behavioural patterns that are keeping you single. After all, past experiences can influence feelings about dating, and you may be worried about rejection, experiencing low self-esteem and confidence or feel guilty about finding someone new – all of which are completely normal when you have not been dating for a while.

To really get the most out of dating and ensure that you are attracting the right type of person, you need to date consciously and authentically – so why are so many of us happy to invest in our fitness and our finances but not our future and our relationships?

Understanding the patterns

In the movie, The Wedding Date, the main character tells the leading lady that “every woman has the exact love life that she wants,” and it could not be more true. There are distinct patterns that every single individual will fall into, regardless of whether they are male or female, that keep them in that state of singleness and experienced Relationship Coaches can usually identify what is holding them back within a matter of minutes.

By drilling down into what is going on subconsciously and understanding the behavioural patterns that you follow in a relationship, you can break out of your detrimental habits and attract the right type of person for you – empowering you to date authentically.

Investment in yourself and your future

Contrary to what people believe, relationship coaching is not a form of therapy. It is instead a growth opportunity allowing you to deal with your anxieties in a safe and non-judgmental space so you can go into your next relationship baggage-free. Not only will you be able to recognise your patterns and build new strategies to stop you falling into old habits, but you will also have a clearer understanding of what you have to offer a potential partner.

This investment in your future and your relationships can be a game-changer when it comes to dating. Think of it this way, how many times have you had a problem that you have managed to resolve once you could fully comprehend the situation? By working with an expert, you can learn what you are really looking for in a relationship and get yourself date ready before the search begins. With a multitude of different formats from one-to-one coaching sessions to in-depth relationship retreats, you are sure to find the service that works best for you.

At Ignite Dating, we understand that everyone’s dating journey is different and in order for them to get the best out of their relationships they need to trust the experts that they are working with and open themselves to the possibilities ahead. We are delighted to be the only matchmaking agency in the UK to work with Master Matchmaking Practitioner and Relationship Coach, Genevieve Zawada-Gresset. If you think you are ready to date and to take the next step to a healthy and authentic relationship, then please get in touch with our friendly team today.