What is settling in a relationship?

In all relationships the honeymoon period must come to an end at some point. This is often the stage where you drop the rose-tinted spectacles and your partner’s flaws come to light. No matter how much you like somebody, in any long-term relationship there are bound to be elements of your partner’s behaviour and habits that grate on you. This is where a healthy dose of compromise is needed, to perhaps overlook minor annoyances or work on the parts of your daily life that can be a source of irritation in the relationship. It may be something as small as watching a television show because you know your partner likes it or taking turns doing chores you both hate. You may decide to leave plenty of downtime in your schedule to because your partner prefers not to be wildly sociable all the time. 

However, there becomes a point where making allowances in the relationship strays into unhealthy territory. This is referred to as settling, where you are not truly satisfied in a relationship but not taking steps to address the situation. In a nutshell, you may have a gut feeling things are not right, or find you are all too often sacrificing your own needs to make things work. Settling for less can often be confused with compromising, and it sometimes take a while to recognise what’s going on in your relationship. You may be getting along just fine but you are slowly recognising warning signs that you want more from a relationship. To help you understand what it means to settle in a relationship, we’ve shared the top warning signs to watch out for.     

You end up doing all the work: You might get the creeping feeling you are the one putting all the work into keeping the relationship going. Your partner does not put the effort you’d expect from them, and they can make you feel like you are being unreasonable if you ask them to be more involved. A good relationship is built on a background of listening to each other and making the effort to build a positive connection and support each other – so it can be a red flag if you feel like you are in a one-sided relationship. 

You’re not sure if you enjoy being together anymore: You may start to suspect you really aren’t getting a lot of satisfaction from the relationship anymore. You may be easily annoyed by things your partner says and does, which can tip over into resentment and feeling very unsatisfied in the relationship. Perhaps the only things you like about the relationship are general to any partnership, rather than being things you cherish about the person you are with. 

The compromises are too big: Small disagreements about day-to-day life are often nothing to worry about, but if you are changing your life goals or values to suit your relationship then it’s a sign you are settling. It’s sacrificing the things you want in life to stay with this person. 

You lose individuality: You may start to realise you’ve changed a lot about yourself to suit your partner. Your hobbies have gone out the window and you act differently when you are with your partner. You may even change your appearance and personality to suit your significant other’s preferences. Changing who you are to suit a partner can hit your confidence and lead to a loss of identity which can be bad for your mental well-being

You’re ultimately not compatible: While you may be fond of your partner, there is still a disconnect in what you need and want from the relationship. This can leave you feeling deep down that something isn’t quite right, which can lead to unhappiness and restlessness with the situation. 

Why do people settle in a relationship? 

Fear of being alone is often behind the decision to settle with somebody. Some people end up staying with the wrong person rather than face the unknown of a future on their own. They may worry there is nobody else out there for them, so they decide this is their chance to get married and have the security of a long-term relationship. Low self-esteem can also drive people to worry they won’t meet anybody else. Some stick with an unfulfilling relationship because they don’t want to start over again, as it’s just too comfortable to stick with their current arrangement or they can’t face returning to the dating world. There may also be worries about upsetting a partner, where in fact it’s more hurtful for them to be in a relationship with somebody who is just settling for them. 

We’d love to hear your views on settling in a relationship. Share them over on our Facebook or Instagram page!

At Ignite Dating, your dedicated matchmaker is with you every step of the way, working closely with you to understand the characteristics and values that are important to you. Our experienced matchmaking team brings a wealth of knowledge and expertise to make your dating journey as streamlined and enjoyable as possible. Get in touch today to find out how we can help you! 


Qualifications are at the heart of our award-winning service

At Ignite Dating we understand it can be a big decision to invest in the services of a matchmaker. If you are unfamiliar with the dating industry and how matchmaking works, then it might seem tricky to choose between the array of agencies available. Returning to the dating world after a long break can be a daunting time, so it’s extremely important to be sure you have chosen the right experts to partner with on your dating journey. 

We know how important it is to you to make the right choice, so we work hard to ensure our matchmaking team is trained to the highest standard. That way, you can be sure you are working with the best. 

We believe qualifications and certification courses are vital to ensuring our team are equipped with the right skills and credentials to offer the best possible service. We ensure we offer a supportive dating journey where we work closely with each client to understand exactly what they want from a relationship. Investing in comprehensive training means we offer clients the best possible service and support at every step of their journey, while ensuring we can offer a thorough understanding of their individual relationship needs. 

As well completing our extensive in-house training, we are proud that our team has achieved an array of qualifications from prestigious organisations.

The Matchmaking Institute 

All of our matchmaking team work to gain accreditation from the prestigious Matchmaking Institute, an organisation offering tailor-made matchmaker certification courses with a network of graduates all over the world. The courses are designed to help matchmakers run their businesses more effectively and follow a global industry standard in matchmaking.


Several members of our expert team also boast a Science-Based Coaching Certification from the Matchmaking Institute

The dating experts include MD and founder Michelle Begy, Senior Dating Consultant Julie Drummond, and Matchmaker and Headhunter Gabriella Nobrega, who have all completed the qualification to become a certified dating and relationship coach. 

The course offers matchmakers the opportunity to learn essential tools to connect with their clients. This includes helping them understand their patterns, recognise what holds them back, and address self-sabotaging beliefs and attitudes. It also equips matchmakers with the knowledge to help clients learn the effective dating skills they need to find their perfect match. The course also offers matchmakers skills in helping the people they work with identify their key life values so they can understand what they need in a partner. 


As matchmakers we understand just how important a person’s personality is to their dating journey. We’re proud our Managing Director Michelle Begy has achieved MBTI and FIRO practitioner status.

Her knowledge of both tools offers an even more in-depth understanding of personality type and relationship needs, helping her to really understand what makes somebody tick and ensuring a finely tuned match based on their specific preferences.

Michelle said: “I am committed to providing clients with complete peace of mind at what can be a vulnerable time of their life, and I’m committed to ensuring my team are trained to a high standard so we can ensure we offer the same award-winning, customer-centric service to clients no matter where they are based in the world.”

Ignite Dating is an elite matchmaking and introductions agency that helps busy professionals across the UK find a life partner. The company’s experienced matchmakers offer guidance and support to provide clients with a dating journey that leaves them feeling confident, energised, and safe. Find out more about our award-winning service and how it can help you here.


The best date ideas in Southampton

Southampton is a fascinating port city which offers the best of both worlds in terms of city centre attractions and waterfront entertainment. You can really get to know the city by exploring the area’s maritime links and come up with some truly exciting evenings out to wow your date. We’ve rounded up the best date ideas that will suit all tastes in the Southampton area, whether you are an established couple or getting to know somebody new. 

The Maritime Quarter 

Make the most of Southampton’s waterside location by spending a few hours enjoying The Maritime Quarter. You can just enjoy a chilled stroll by the water and admire the awe-inspiring boats, shimmering water, and stunning views. Then you can decide on which of the many bars, restaurant, and shops you want to enjoy next. Make sure you make time for a stop at HarBAR, a spectacular rooftop destination at the Southampton Harbour Hotel & Spa with cosy outdoor seating and delicious cocktails to help you make the most of the view. 

If you prefer to be out on the water, then book an excursion on the Shieldhall, the largest working steam ship in Britain. A range of voyages are available in the summer months so you can see the city from a different angle. 

The Cultural Quarter 

Take a look around one of the city’s fascinating cultural venues together for a date with a difference. The city’s maritime history is explored in depth at SeaCity Museum, where you can learn the story of the Titanic and how it made its voyage from the Southampton Docks. The City Art Gallery houses one of the finest collections of art in the south of England and is also well worth a look to browse more than 5,000 works spanning eight centuries.  

Secure tickets to a show at The Mayflower Theatre, a great venue offering a diverse programme of live performances, including big name stand-up comedy, ballet and touring West End musicals. 

Get active 

Spend some time among the treetops at Go Ape in Itchen Valley Country Park, where you can take on the exhilarating high ropes course and speedy zip lines. Not for the faint-hearted, it’s a great way to get to know each other as you tackle the course. Alternatively, take on some stress-busting axe throwing and see if one of you can hit the bullseye! If the weather isn’t playing ball, Ninja Warrior offers a fun-packed indoor course full of obstacles inspired by the hit ITV show. If winter sports are more your thing, then visit Alpine Snowsports, a dry ski slope that offers both skiing and snowboarding. 

You can also challenge each other to an array of games and experiences at Boom Battle Bar in the West Quay mall. From shuffleboard and karaoke to American pool and augmented reality darts, you’re bound to find something that suits. 


Fancy a more sedate date night? There are plenty of romantic spots to enjoy a relaxed night of dinner and drinks. Bring & Mix offers a fun concept where you can bring your own bottles of your favourite spirits for the mixologists to create unique cocktail concoctions with. The intimate bar has a 1920s speakeasy theme, and you can relax and get to know each other better as the talented team serve you a range of tasty drinks. If beer is more your tipple then you could also head to Dancing Man Brewery which makes and sells beer in an awe-inspiring historic building. Oxford Street is Southampton’s nightlife hub, and you can find plenty of independent restaurants to suit all tastes. Enjoy a relaxed brunch at XOXO or MedBar and make it bottomless if you prefer! For dinner try Marco’s, which offers fine wines and traditional Italian cuisine, including tasty small plates of cicchetti to share. 

Do you have any top tips for date ideas in the Southampton area? Share them over on our Facebook or Instagram page! 

Our dedicated matchmaking team are ready and waiting for your call to help you with your search for love. Get in touch today to find out more!


What are the consequences of dating multiple people?

Do you ever get the feeling the person you are chatting to on a dating app is busy juggling multiple conversations with other people? You may find they drag their feet replying to your messages and come across as extremely busy when you suggest meeting up. In the dating world it’s certainly not unusual to encounter somebody who is dating multiple people at once. Some singletons prefer not to keep their eggs all in one basket, especially in the early days of dating where they are investing time in getting to know several people simultaneously. However, dating more than one person at a time can get messy, especially when feelings develop. 

It’s common for single people to be chat to more than one person via dating apps, especially when they don’t mind juggling several conversations at once. For many it makes sense to get to know more than one person, as it takes a lot of time to move from the initial chats to meeting in person. If you realise you are not compatible after a couple of dates, you’ve got to start all over again searching for somebody new. When you meet online you’ve got no idea what the outcome is going to be, so for some it makes sense to be connecting with several people to widen the pool of people that might be right for you. It’s known as roster dating, a strategy where you casually see more than one romantic interest at a time, and people eventually melt away as you invest more time into solidifying a connection with the person you are most interested in. 

As well as finding out who you share a spark with, meeting a range of people helps you understand your own needs and figure out what you want out of a relationship. With each date you get a better knowledge of the sorts of person you gel with and what you don’t like. It can be a lot of fun to meet new people and keep things casual without having to consider everything that comes with a committed relationship. 

Of course, there are drawbacks to this sort of dating. It can take a lot of time and energy to commit to multiple chats and dates, which could lead to dating burnout if you’re not careful. It can be difficult enough to make time for dating one person, let alone several. It can be very embarrassing to forget things dates have told you, or get details about their lives wrong, purely because you’re juggling meetups with too many people at once. When you are burnt out by the whole process of dating, then you can easily become overwhelmed and dating anybody just seems like a chore. 

Dating somebody who is seeing multiple people 

You may be keen on only pursuing one love interest at a time, so where does that leave you if the person you are dating is seeing multiple people? Problems can develop when you get more attached, and it you may start to feel jealous and resent the fact they’re still dating. Their casual approach may suggest they aren’t looking for a relationship so you can end up getting hurt if you are hoping they will become exclusive in the end. You may have not even been on the same page about what’s going on, as the person you’re seeing might expect you are also dating multiple people. It may take time until it emerges that they are dating other people, and you may be upset when you realise you are not the only person they’ve been seeing. 

It’s worth being honest about your feelings about wanting to be exclusive and then see what their reaction is. If they say they don’t want to commit and prefer to be dating non-exclusively, then you need to decide if this is an arrangement you can tolerate being involved in. if the answer is no, then it’s time to walk away. 

In those early days of dating, it’s important to manage your expectations and not get too carried away until things have had a chance to develop. As much as you might be tempted to, asking somebody if they would consider being exclusive after only a couple of dates might risk scaring them off. There’s always a risk that if you decide to date non-exclusively, people you are meeting might want to cut ties as they prefer to have your undivided attention. 

When it comes to dating, you need to decide what works for you. Trust your gut feeling and if you prefer to date exclusively, then avoid getting involved with anybody who isn’t in the same place as you. Consider working with a matchmaker if you’d like a helping hand on your dating journey, because teaming up with the experts means you can sit back and relax while we find you amazing people to meet. 

Are you keen to hear more about the matchmaking process and how Ignite Dating can help you with your dating journey? Just give our expert team a call today and we’ll happily detail more about how our multiple award-winning service works!


What issues do millionaires face in the dating world?

You would be forgiven for thinking that having the resources of a millionaire would make it easier to find love. However, things can be made even more complicated when there is substantial wealth on one side of a budding relationship. It’s often a worry that a potential love interest is pursuing an affluent person for the wrong reasons because they are only interested in living the millionaire lifestyle. 

Millionaires can also differ in their approach to finding a partner. A recent survey of 15,000 single millionaires found nearly 80% of men tend to seek out women who do not earn as much money as them, being happy to share their wealth and take care of a partner. In contrast, the study found women prefer to date fellow millionaires, preferring a financially stable partner. A financial equal is not always easy to find though, and it may cause issues in the relationship if you are both extremely busy in your respective professions. 

While dating apps are used by many single people who are searching for love, high-net-worth people who are well-known in their industry do value privacy which does not marry well with having an online presence that can be discovered by anybody. Successful people often prefer to be discreet by not having a digital dating profile that could easily be discovered by friends, colleagues, family, and acquaintances. 

On the flipside, some wealthy daters fall into the trap of showing off elements of their lavish lifestyle, whether it’s picking up a date in a flashy Ferrari or bragging about career success. This can stray into what’s known as peacocking, which is essentially showing off and trying to highlight their strong points to impress a date.  

What millionaires are looking for 

Many millionaires agree they want to meet somebody who is independent with their own set of goals. Having their own interests and achievements is a priority, even if their chosen career path doesn’t come with a bank balance to match their date’s. Authenticity is important so millionaires value a potential love interest who is being themselves, rather than trying to be somebody they’re not to impress a date. When dating a millionaire, it’s important to maintain a sense of self-worth and be honest about who you are, not being afraid to big up your own passions and achievements. 

It’s also not unusual to worry that having a large high-net-worth might intimidate a potential partner, so it’s important the affluent individual concentrates on who they are and what they’re like when meeting new people, while keeping the wealth chat for a future date. Conversations about the extent of personal wealth can wait, and in the meantime it’s important to be mindful of red flags that somebody is pushing for a certain lifestyle rather than being offered it. 

We’ve offered our top tips for dating as a high-net-worth individual:

  • Don’t be too busy to date: A high-powered role can leave you with very little spare time but it’s important to make time for dating if your goal is a committed relationship. Clear time in your schedule and make time for those you are interested in learning more about. 
  • Look out for red flags: Trust your gut instinct if you are worried about your date’s motives. Look out for red flags which can include pushing for extravagant gifts and experiences while seemingly overly interested in what you earn. 
  • Seek flexibility: It can be advantage to seek a partner who has a more flexible schedule, whether they are working as a freelancer or have a job which gives them the summer off. This way they are open to being more spontaneous with plans and can work around your demanding schedule. 
  • Finding a genuine match: The goal for many is to find that all-important emotional connection, ideally with somebody who is genuine and trustworthy so you can be sure they’ve entered the relationship for the right reasons. Sharing values and interests is a much better reason to date somebody than just achieving financial compatibility. 

Working with a matchmaker can be the perfect solution for those who are looking for more personalised options in the dating world. Our matchmaking team headhunt on your behalf to find amazing people and screen out matches that are never going to work, which is invaluable if you are worried about the motives of potential love interests. At Ignite Dating we understand that privacy and discretion are of paramount importance to our clients. We photo ID check everyone we work with to ensure they are who they say they are, and we also check their digital footprint. Your dedicated matchmaker works hard to understand who you are looking for, and they will introduce you to amazing people who will match your values, aspirations, and outlook on life. 

Are you looking for somebody special who will truly understand you and share your values, life goals and aspirations? Your dedicated matchmaker is waiting to introduce you to some truly amazing individuals. Get in touch today to find out how we can help you with a safe and enjoyable search for love.