Matchmaking: is it an art or a science?

“Oh, I think you’d really like my friend Tom from work; you have a lot in common.”

“Did you want me to set you up with my sister’s roommate? She’s such a lovely girl.”

Do these conversations sound familiar?

When you’re single, it can feel like everyone you know suddenly turns into a matchmaker trying to help you on the quest to find that perfect partner.

The problem is, this can lead people to think that the matchmaking process is simple and easy – you just find two people that like similar things and set them up, right?

Well, the reality is quite different. It’s not as straightforward as just connecting two people that you like and hoping that they like each other too. Matchmaking requires a careful mixture of intuition, expertise, personality profiling, technology, and networking for the best results.

It is a careful balance between art and science, and we’re going to share with you how the two elements combine in more detail below.

How is science used in matchmaking and the dating industry?

Successful matchmakers rely on important scientific principles to help them determine the success of a match and connect the right people.

At Ignite Dating, we use Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) to better understand the personality type and preferences of our clients. For example, how they get their energy, how they learn, how they make decisions and how they like to organise their time. This information can then be used to help match them with like-minded individuals who complement their personality type.

MBTI is not specific to the team at Ignite Dating, it is in fact a type of psychometric testing that is commonly used in recruitment and corporate environments. Although it is common in matchmaking too, some dating agencies prefer to use other scientific principles and tools to help them with their dating services.

This may be the use of algorithms and databases as part of their matchmaking processes, another good example of how science and, more specifically, technology has become a key part of the dating industry. After all, no matter whether you are a traditional agency or an elite matchmaking consultancy like ourselves, technology still has a part to play in successful matchmaking.

At Ignite Dating, our matchmakers use a unique mix of intuition, industry expertise, knowledge, and MBTI to select a potential introduction, based on the qualities and traits that are important to their clients. However, it is not simply enough to rely on this. In addition, to ensure the prospective relationship has the best chance for success long-term, all matches are run through an industry-specific algorithm to check that it is a good match and only those that achieve over 90 percent match will be presented as an introduction.

What about the art side of matchmaking?

As well as relying on psychometric profiling and technology, there is also a certain amount of knowledge and instinct that needs to be applied to effective matchmaking. To be a successful matchmaker you need to have strong emotional intelligence and a sixth sense when it comes to people – a skill that you are usually born with and not something that can be taught or learnt.

This is a trait that the team at Ignite Dating all possess. Matchmakers can use this intuition to quickly decide if two people are likely to work well together, saving their clients’ time, effort and awkward dates with people who are not right for them.

They also spend their time getting to know each client on a very personal and individual basis (including the use of MBTI to understand their personality). This helps them to find a suitable match that shares the same values, aspirations, and lifestyle as their client, as well as a complementary personality type.

So, is matchmaking an art or a science?

Ultimately, matchmaking should not be classed as either an art or science. Instead, the two factors must work in harmony for the perfect process and a successful match.

This way, matchmakers can ensure that they’re introducing their clients to like-minded individuals who share not only their passions and ambitions, but also personality types that will complement one another.

This is important for the bigger aspects in life, as well as the smaller details that make up our every day. After all, relationships aren’t just about the big romantic gestures or life-altering moments; they are also about being happy together on a daily basis and working through any issues in a healthy manner when life throws a curveball your way.

If you’re single, have found that the alternative ways of dating aren’t working for you or simply looking for a new way to date then get in touch with our expert team today and find out how they can use art and science to help find that perfect partner for you. 


What is Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and how does it help you find love?

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) was developed by Isabel Myers and her mother, Katherine Briggs, during World War II.

Their work came off the back of Jung’s theory of psychological types, as well as their own observations of the marked differences between personality types. They began researching and developing the concept and then tested their theory on their friends and family.

This led to extensive research, and the pair quickly realised that the theory could have real-world applications. They penned their first version of the assessment in the 1940s, and continued to develop the tool over the next couple of decades.

But what exactly is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)?

The MBTI assessment is a psychometric tool that was created as a way of identifying a person’s personality type, strengths and preferences. The assessment is conducted using a questionnaire, and the results provide insight into what makes you who you are.

It is one of the most popular and widely recognised personality assessments used today. It has a number of applications, for example, in business, educational and counselling settings to support recruitment, build teams, develop self-awareness, and of course, in the dating world.

The MBTI helps us to understand personality preferences in key areas, including: 

  • Extraversion Vs introversion – How you get your energy
  • Sensing Vs intuition – How you absorb information and learn
  • Thinking Vs feeling – How you make decisions
  • Judging Vs perceiving – How you like to organise your time and environment

In doing so, people can better understand themselves. Myers and Briggs believed this would be important for helping people select their occupation, lead healthier lives and find love and happiness.

What are the different personality types?

After taking the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator assessment, you will be given a four-letter score that represents your personality type. There are 16 different types as identified by Myers and Briggs, and though we won’t outline them all below, some examples include: 

  • ESFP – Performer, entertainer, artisan
  • ISTP – Crafter, operator, artisan
  • ENFJ – Teacher, mentor, idealist
  • INFP – Healer, advocate, idealist
  • ENTJ – Field marshal, coordinator, rational
  • INTP – Architect, engineer, rational
  • ISTJ – Inspector, administrator, guardian

How is MBTI used in dating?

At Ignite Dating, we conduct MBTI as part of our interview process. This can be done either verbally or via online self-assessment, but either way, the test will generate your four-letter score (as outlined above).

We then add this score to your profile and use it to get a better and deeper understanding of your personality, preferences, behaviours and communication habits. This helps our matchmakers find your perfect partner!

Are you ready to take the test?

If you want to know more about your personality type so that you can make more informed decisions moving forward, or if you’d like to boost your chances of finding the perfect partner, it might be time that you took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator assessment!

And if you’d like to know more about how we apply MBTI and use your results to help you find love, get in touch with the team at Ignite Dating today. If you think this approach is right for you, the team can help you to complete your assessment right away.


5 tips for dating as a widow

When your partner passes away, the idea of dating and finding love again can be unthinkable. In fact, some people believe they’ll never date again because no one could possibly live up to the partner they have lost.

However, with time comes healing, and in most cases, widows and widowers will eventually open themselves up to the possibility of finding a new partner.

Ultimately, everyone grieves differently, and only you will know when you’re ready to start looking for love again.

But dating after you’ve been widowed can have its challenges, so we’re here to offer a word or two of advice for when you do decide to take that step. Below, we’ve pulled together five tips for dating after you’ve lost a partner.

1. There is no right or wrong answer

As we said, everyone is different, and there is no specific time period you have to wait before getting back on the dating scene. For some, it can take years, others just a few months, but in the end it is a very personal decision and no one can tell you that you’re moving too fast or slow. So just go at your own pace and don’t worry about what others think.

2. You might feel guilty at first

As you begin to date again, you might find that feelings of guilt creep in, and some people have even reported feeling as if they’re being unfaithful to their partner. These feelings are common, they are perfectly natural and they will subside over time, so don’t be too hard on yourself.

That being said, if these feelings don’t subside after a few dates, it might be a sign that you’re not quite ready. In that case, take a little break from the dating world and try again when you’re feeling up to it.

3. Don’t do this alone

Dating when you’re grieving can be tough, even for the strongest person, so if you’re struggling it’s important that you don’t do it alone. Firstly, think about reaching out to friends or family for support as they can be someone you feel comfortable talking to and confiding in.

Alongside this, choosing to work with an expert matchmaker can really help you to get back out there. For example, personalised matchmaking services such as those offered by Ignite Dating give you complete discretion, provide ongoing support throughout your dating journey and help to find perfect matches. This can take the hard work and stress out of looking for love, easing you gently back into the dating world.

4. Forgive yourself for forgetting dating etiquette

If you had been with your late partner for several years, it’s likely that the dating scene has changed somewhat since your last date and you might not remember (or not be familiar with!) some dating etiquette.

Again, don’t be too hard on yourself. Most dates will completely understand if they know you haven’t been on a date in a while, so just learn from your mistakes and make sure you don’t take these with you onto your next date with you. You’ll be surprised how quickly you pick it back up.

5. Remember, dating should be fun

Even though dating might feel awkward or challenging at first, remember, it is supposed to be fun. There is no reason that being a widow should hold you back and stop you from enjoying your life again. After all, life is for living, and your late partner wouldn’t want you to waste your years; they would want you to be happy.

So, if you’re a widow or widower and you’re ready to start looking for love again, our team of expert matchmakers can help. Get in touch today to find out more about how they can support you on your dating journey.


Dating agency lingo and how to find the right agency for you

So, you’ve taken that first step and made the decision to join a dating agency and that’s great news! But how do you go about finding the right one?

With hundreds of dating agencies out there all offering slightly different services but promising the same results, it can be overwhelming to decide which one to go with. Well, the good news is there are some subtle but powerful ways that you can determine whether an agency is going to be right for you, and a major part of this lies in the lingo they use.

Often, you’ll find that each agency uses its own language to describe its service offering, so when it comes to choosing the right agency for you it is important to remember that age old saying “the difference between something good and something great, is attention to detail.”

Why dating agencies use different language

Dating is an industry that plays host to dynamic trends and ever-changing lingo. From benching and catfishing to breadcrumbing and ghosting, dating trends and the way we talk about them is getting increasingly creative.

However, this difference in language isn’t just specific to the individuals that are looking for love. Dating agencies also use different language patterns and trends to highlight their services and entice new members to sign up.

By understanding and interpreting this language, you can determine whether an agency is going to be right for you.

Decoding the lingo

In order to be successful in your dating journey, you need to choose the right agency and matchmaker for you. Some agencies use salespeople to sell the service and you may never actually meet your matchmaker face-to-face. We believe that the connection between you and the person finding your future partner, is just as important as the relationship itself. At Ignite Dating, the person you meet will be the person that is partnering you on your journey, not a salesperson who you will probably never hear from again.

Once you understand the various roles that agencies have in order to sell service, it makes finding the right one that little bit easier. the next step is to determine the language that the different dating agencies and websites use and more importantly what it means. By diving deeper into these examples below, you’ll get a better understanding of how you can identify and choose the right agency for you.

1. Making matches

Lots of agencies, and particularly those that offer database matching rather than headhunting, offer a ‘like it or lump it’ approach when it comes to matching. It is easier to spot these types of agencies by carefully examining their website or literature to see what language they use. For example, ‘we select matches for you’ and ‘we put forward an unlimited selection of profiles for you to choose from’ might sound good on first impression, but it very much puts the control on the matchmakers and leaves little room for input from yourself. The likelihood is that if you decline that introduction, you will have to wait a while for your next one.  

At Ignite Dating, in order for a match to be deemed an introduction, three boxes must be ticked. Firstly, the client has to agree that it is a good match, then the introduction has to give permission that they would like to go ahead with the match, and finally, the man has to make contact. If these three key points are not met, it won’t be counted as an introduction.

2. Ensuring your safety

Just like the lingo itself, the onboarding process of clients can vary greatly from agency to agency. For the most part, if you are looking for an agency that offers personal introductions it is likely that an interview process will take place before the registration is complete. The extent to which this interview process looks to ensure the safety of its clients differs greatly and you’ll probably find that a lot of sites and agencies will claim that their members are ‘vetted’ before finally being added to the database.

While this obviously isn’t a bad thing, in a world where it’s all too easy to create fake online accounts or personalities (we all remember the catfishing trend), singles today are looking for more safety and security in their dating journey. While no agency can guarantee 100 percent the safety of its clients, there are a number of steps that they can take to ensure the highest possible levels of security are achieved.

At Ignite Dating, we stipulate that all of our clients are ID-checked rather than simply ‘vetted’. Our matchmakers carry out a thorough interview process for any potential clients. This includes ID and address checks, questions around health, addictions and criminal convictions as well as an in-depth digital footprint check. Clues like this will give you a better insight into how seriously a dating agency takes the security and protection of its clients.

3. Using science to back it up

While having similar goals, hobbies and attributes may be important things to consider when dating, it’s not enough to match people on these alone. As such, it’s a good idea to look out for agencies that back up the art of matchmaking with scientific practices.  

At Ignite Dating, we understand the importance of personality types when it comes to matching individuals together. As such, psychometric testing and Myers-Briggs Type Indicator are referenced throughout our literature and conversations as we firmly believe that intuition and years of experience should be supported by science to help find our clients their perfect match.

Helping you make the right choice

Now, these are by no means the only language trends that you need to look out for when choosing a dating agency., but they do highlight the importance of reading through the websites and small print carefully. We also recommend having an open conversation over a coffee with the matchmaker who you will be working with, allowing you to ask any questions and clarify anything you are unsure of to get a better understanding of the services that they offer in order to decide which agency is right for you.

If you are single and have made that decision to join an agency, but are not sure where to start then get in touch with our friendly team today for an open and honest chat about how we can help you on your dating journey.