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As a family lawyer who usually meets couples at less than sparkly moments, I’m here to make a suggestion to couples contemplating their next steps: research and talk about a pre-nup, or its slightly later cousin, the post-nup, at an early stage. Done well, these agreements protect non-marital wealth, offer security and reduce uncertainty. Done badly, or not at all, non-marital wealth is exposed to potential claims.

What is a pre-nup (and a post-nup)?

A prenuptial agreement is a document you both sign before marriage, setting out what would happen financially if you separate. A post-nuptial agreement is the same idea, signed after the wedding. These agreements can cover pre-relationship property, how savings, pensions, or a business are treated, and whether one of you would receive financial support. In England and Wales, they’re not automatically binding through legislation, but numerous high-profile cases over the last 15 years give them significant weight when they’re fair, properly prepared, and each of you has had independent legal advice. A well-drafted pre- or post-nup works.

What happens if we don’t have a pre-nup?

The court applies Matrimonial Causes Act 1973, s.25 – a broad fairness exercise considering income, needs, standard of living, ages, duration of marriage, contributions, disabilities and (rarely) conduct, with first consideration to any children. These criteria are cross-referenced with the couple’s resources, and everything is taken into account. There’s no formula for working out how everything’s divided up. Ultimately, judges have complete discretion to order what they feel is fair. Whilst a distinction will be drawn between matrimonial assets (built up during the marriage) and non-matrimonial assets (such as pre-marital wealth, gifts and inheritances), non-matrimonial assets can still be brought into play where necessary to meet needs and achieve fairness. The point of the pre- or post-nup is to ringfence this wealth and prevent that happening; to whatever extent you both decide is fair in the context of your relationship.

Who should consider a pre- or post-nup?

Pre-nups aren’t just for billionaires and celebrities. Think about a pre- or post-nup if one of you owns a home already, there are children from a previous relationship, someone runs a business, a significant inheritance is expected, or there’s a big difference in income or assets. A well-drafted agreement can protect what existed before the relationship and be fair to the other partner.

What makes a good agreement?

Courts tend to respect and uphold pre- and post-nups when:

• Both people enter freely and (if a pre-nup) the agreement is signed at least 28 days before a wedding, so there is no “sign this two days before the wedding” pressure
• There’s full financial disclosure, which is key because the agreement can fall apart if it’s later proved that one party deliberately undervalued assets or disclosure wasn’t complete (although if this has crossed your mind, marriage may not be the best option)
• Each of you has your own solicitor
• The terms are fair and meet needs (especially where children are involved)

Fairness is the keyword: you can’t contract out of meeting fundamental needs, and that’s a good thing.

The post-nup

Already married but don’t have a pre-nup? You’re not alone. Post-nups are increasingly popular when you buy a house together after marriage, one partner receives an inheritance, someone launches a business or is transferred shares in a family business, or you simply want clarity. After a rocky patch, a post-nup can also be a practical reset.

Timing and tone

You don’t need to bring up pre-nups over your first flat white. But once conversations turn to moving in, buying a home together, or marriage, financial transparency is healthy. Aim to agree on a pre-nup months before the wedding, long before wedding preparation and table plans take over. Keep the tone collaborative: this is a team document to ensure you’re both protected and provided for should you go your separate ways.

The romantic takeaway

In the real world, clarity can heavily reduce conflict and protect both parties. Hopefully, you never need to use your pre- or post-nup, but it can be invaluable when life throws a curveball.

Jurisdiction note: the points above are for England & Wales; if you live elsewhere, the rules differ.

For more information, you can contact me on +44 1603 756470 or email me at Denise-Findlay@birketts.co.uk

Deciding to move in together is a big milestone. It’s exciting and very much a sign that your relationship has progressed to the next stage.

But if you’re the one who already owns the property, it’s natural to have a quiet question lingering in the back of your mind, “Do I need to do anything legally to protect my home, just in case?”

Sure, this might feel less romantic, but it’s important to talk about, which is why I have created this guide. Below, we’ll talk about Cohabitation Agreements (sometimes called “living together agreements”), what they are and when they really matter.

What is a Cohabitation Agreement?

A cohabitation agreement is a written agreement between unmarried couples who live together. It sets out, in advance, what should happen financially if the relationship were to end. It acts as evidence for the terms you both agreed on should the relationship break down. 

But try to think of it less as planning for disaster (or break up) and more as a calm, grown-up conversation about realistic expectations. These agreements can cover things like:

• Who owns the property (usually the most important aspect)

• Who pays what while living together

• What happens if you separate, and what you are entitled to 

Do you need a Cohabitation Agreement? 

The honest answer is no, you don’t always need an agreement.

Though there’s a widespread myth that once a partner moves in, they automatically gain rights to the home, in England and Wales, that simply isn’t true. There is no such thing as a “common law spouse” that magically creates property rights.

Essentially, if your new partner moves into your home, pays towards day-to-day living expenses (food, utilities, council tax, maybe a Netflix subscription or two) but does not contribute to the purchase price or major renovations, then they are not suddenly acquiring a share of your house.

If this were the case and the relationship ended, your ex-partner would face an uphill struggle trying to establish any legal rights to the property.

It’s also really important to understand at this point that the rights of cohabiting couples are not the same as the rights of married couples. If a marriage breaks down, the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 allows the court to redistribute all available assets based on what is fair. The court can consider contributions, needs, children, and the overall financial picture.

Cohabitees do not have the same protection and claims between unmarried partners are completely different. They rely on property law and evidence of financial contributions or shared intentions – not fairness or needs.

When should you definitely seek legal advice?

If your partner is contributing significant sums towards renovations or extensions, paying towards the purchase price or mortgage, or funding improvements that increase the value of a property owned in the sole name of the other partner, then you should absolutely pause and take legal advice.

In those situations, disputes are governed by civil law, specifically the Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act 1996 (TOLATA). Claims under this legislation can be complex, expensive, and emotionally draining.

A Cohabitation Agreement (or at least clear legal advice) can help avoid misunderstandings and protect both parties.

What if we want to buy a house together?

It’s not always going to be the case that one partner moves into the other partner’s house. Often, a couple will choose to buy a new home together. This also raises important legal questions. 

In this situation, one of the simplest and safest ways to protect your respective interests is to put a Declaration of Trust in place at the point of purchase. 

This is because many couples don’t contribute equally. One person might provide a larger deposit or take responsibility for renovation costs, and without a Declaration of Trust in place, it can be very difficult to prove what was intended.

A Declaration of Trust is a document that sets out:

• Who owns what share of the property

• What each person is contributing

• How equity should be divided if you separate or sell

• What happens if one of you pays more later on

• How to deal with renovations, improvements, or one person wanting to sell

Having a well-drafted Declaration of Trust in place should mean there’s no need for a Cohabitation Agreement.

It’s about peace of mind, not pessimism

Let’s get one thing straight here: a Cohabitation Agreement is not created because you expect the relationship to fail. It’s about clarity, transparency, and protecting what matters while you enjoy what should be a very happy and exciting time.

In many cases, especially where a partner is simply moving in and contributing to everyday living costs, a formal agreement isn’t strictly necessary. But understanding where you stand legally can be incredibly reassuring.

If the financial arrangements are more complicated or you plan to buy a home together, a short conversation with a lawyer can save a lot of stress later. A little foresight now can preserve both your home and the harmony of your relationship. 

For more information, you can contact me on +44 1603 756470 or email me at Denise-Findlay@birketts.co.uk

A few years ago, I heard an interview with Sir David Attenborough in which he reflected on the natural world’s remarkable ability to restore itself if you intervene early enough. He was talking about ecosystems, not medicine, but the sentiment applies equally to our own lives: timing, attention and care shape everything that matters.

Whether it’s our health, our ambitions, or the relationships we choose to invest in, the quality of our lives depends on how intentionally we nurture the things that sustain us.

Many of you reading this post are on a journey to find long-term connection — something real, supportive and enduring. In many ways, the work we do at DR.FSTR runs parallel to this: a belief that the things which matter most deserve time, expertise and continuity.

Health, like love, thrives with good attention and the right guidance.  

At DR.FSTR, this is how we approach medicine: thoughtful, evidence-based care that allows you to live well, with confidence, for whatever (and whomever) comes next.

Introducing Dr Lucy Foster

Since qualifying as a GP in 2014, I’ve built a varied and fulfilling career across rural and urban practice, urgent care, and six years co-leading a primary care service within some of the UK’s busiest A&E departments. Over the past five years, I’ve worked in the private sector, where I’ve been able to bring together everything I value most about medicine.

My clinical interests include women’s health, paediatrics and mental health, but it’s within relationship-based private medicine that I’ve truly found my professional home. I’ve developed a real passion for long-term, trust-led care, supporting people not only when they are unwell, but in the preventive work that keeps them well.

At DR.FSTR, I look after a deliberately small number of members so I can provide discreet, world-class care with precision, empathy and expertise. From proactive planning to urgent global support when needed, the ethos is simple, thoughtful, evidence-based medicine, done properly.  

DR.FSTR is a home-visiting medical practice caring for individuals, families and estates. Many of our members lead busy, extraordinary lives and simply want continuity and accessibility to a medical team that knows them properly.

What makes DR.FSTR different

We are the only private GP practice in the UK to include direct access to an in-house consultant physician, as well as your own assigned GP as part of standard membership. This means specialist-level thinking is baked-in from the start.  

And because we limit our doctors’ membership list size, we give you the time and attention required to practise good medicine – not rushed, reactive medicine.

We only visit at home; we do not ask you to attend a doctor’s office, so that we can see you on your terms and in your context, in your home or workplace.  

We have invested in the best technology to offer you point-of-care testing in the home, aiding accurate diagnoses.  

We have a list of associate doctors and medical professionals providing additional support in paediatrics, pain management, aesthetics, lifestyle medicine, hormone health, dietetics, physiotherapy and human performance, psychology, personal training, and coaching.  

We are well networked and connected with the best private hospitals in the UK.  

Managing risk before it disrupts life

Our aim is to identify issues before they develop into problems, and to keep you well enough to enjoy the life you are building, whether that involves career milestones, major relocations, blending families, or meeting someone who becomes very important to you.

Each annual medical review includes broad blood testing, urine and stool analysis, and a proper conversation about your health – how you live, sleep, move, eat and manage stress. It’s not a tick-box exercise; it’s a clinical conversation that means something.

Through the year, we are there for whatever arises: illness, concerns, urgent problems, travel medicine, second opinions, aesthetic skin health, whatever you need, wherever you happen to be.

A practice built on excellence

Many of our members have lives that are anything but quiet—international travel, multiple homes, demanding careers, public visibility. Healthcare shouldn’t add to the noise.

We provide the opposite. A medical team that genuinely knows you and our ethos is simple: exceptional healthcare for extraordinary people.  

An invitation

If you would like a medical practice that is personal, evidence-based and designed around your life rather than the other way around, we would be delighted to meet you.

Whether you are preparing for a new chapter, seeking clarity on your health, or simply want a doctor you can rely on without explaining yourself every time, DR.FSTR is here whenever you need us.
Here’s to living well, living wisely, and being ready for whatever and whoever comes next. Dr Lucy Foster Practice: 0208 087 0500 drfstr.co.uk

By Nella Dwyer, Executive ADHD Specialist and International Recording Artist 

Many successful, driven adults quietly wonder why dating feels more complicated than their career. They can build companies, solve crises, make bold decisions, and manage extraordinary pressure. Yet in romance, emotions feel unpredictable, intensity takes over, and small moments hit harder than they should. 

If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. 

And there is nothing wrong with you. 

You simply have a fast, sensitive, deeply perceptive brain that processes connection differently. 

Understanding this wiring can make dating calmer, clearer, and more fulfilling than you ever thought possible. 

Here are the ten truths that matter most. 

1. You feel people quickly because you sense emotion at a deeper level. 

You notice tone, expression, energy shifts. Many people do not. Your brain reads emotional information early and intensely, which means your feelings often arrive before your logic has had time to organise them. 

What this means for you. 

Taking a short pause gives you the space to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting from the rush of emotion. Once regulated, your sensitivity becomes insight.

2. Attraction feels extraordinary because your brain is wired for intensity. 

When you meet someone who resonates with you, the spark does not feel subtle. It feels vivid. full. alive. Your dopamine response to connection is stronger than average. 

The gift inside this. 

Let yourself feel the spark but delay the story you attach to it. Real compatibility feels exciting and stable at the same time. 

3. Ambiguity affects you more deeply than most people realise. 

If someone goes quiet or changes tone, your mind immediately tries to fill in the blanks. This is not insecurity. This is your brain trying to create order and predict emotional safety. 

How to steady yourself. 

Ask what you actually know to be true, not what your brain is guessing. The emotional noise softens almost instantly. 

4. You experience interpersonal pain more intensely. 

Rejection, even subtle rejection, lights up neural pathways linked to physical pain. This is why a small shift can feel unexpectedly large. 

Your power lies here. 

Regulate first. interpret second. Once your nervous system settles, your perceptions become accurate and grounded.

5. Your emotional balance depends on your routine more than you think. 

Your mood and patience swings are often tied to sleep, blood sugar, hormones, or overstimulation rather than the relationship itself. 

What transforms everything. 

Consistent sleep and wake times, solid nutrition, daylight, movement. These give your heart and nervous system the stability they need to love well. 

6. Your relationship with time is different from most people. 

You do not ignore texts or run late because you do not care. Your brain simply experiences time as now or not now. This can create misunderstandings with partners who do not understand your rhythm. 

How to stay grounded. 

Gentle structure. reminders. shared calendar sync. These systems create reliability without suppressing your natural flow. 

7. Your mind communicates in layers, not lines. 

Your thoughts move fast. You connect ideas intuitively and speak in patterns. To someone who processes more slowly, this can feel overwhelming even when your intention is connection. 

What keeps conversations smooth. 

Slow your delivery, not your brilliance. Give others a moment to meet you at your speed.

8. Your attention depends on emotional engagement, not discipline. 

You are fully present when something resonates with you. ADHD can be described as a deficit of interest. You drift when overwhelmed or under stimulated. This has nothing to do with care. It is simply how your attention system works. 

How to stay emotionally available. 

Choose environments that support presence- calm lighting, quieter settings, walking side by side. These allow your authentic self to shine. 

9. You give generously but often faster than you can sustain. 

Your empathy is deep. You want to support, help, nurture, and connect. Without pacing, this becomes over giving, followed by emotional exhaustion. 

How to protect your heart. 

Share your needs clearly from the beginning. Pace your emotional investment. The right person will admire your clarity and meet you there fully. Knowing and having personal boundaries are important for you so you’re not exchanging your self respect for others. (This one is a game changer!) 

10. You are not too intense. You are moving at a deeper emotional frequency. 

Your intensity is not a flaw. It is your richness. You simply need someone whose pacing, emotional availability, and communication match yours. 

Where everything changes. 

When you understand your rhythm, your relationships stop feeling chaotic and start feeling meaningful, aligned, and deeply fulfilling.

Important insight. You do not need a perfect partner. You need a regulated one. 

Your ideal match is someone who is emotionally steady, consistent, grounded, and calm. Someone who does not escalate when you are overwhelmed. Someone who communicates clearly and responds warmly. 

When you meet someone with that presence, your nervous system relaxes. And when your nervous system relaxes, your depth becomes a place primed for connection.. Your intensity becomes intimacy. 

Your sensitivity becomes intuition. 

You become your most confident, luminous self. 

For founders, executives, and high performers 

If your brain works like this in dating, it works like this in leadership too. The same emotional wiring that makes you intense, perceptive, and passionate in relationships also shapes how you make decisions, manage pressure, and navigate stress at work. 

If you want to understand your operating system in a deeper, more empowering way, you can download my free guide for high achieving adults. 

It is called The ADHD Founder Overwhelm Reset. 

It shows you how to: 

• calm emotional storms quickly 

• avoid burnout and emotional spirals 

• restore clarity under pressure 

• communicate without intensity taking over 

Download it here: 

https://www.adhdlifemastery.org/adhd-founder-overwhelm-protocol

About the expert 

Nella Dwyer is an internationally recognised ADHD specialist, executive coach, and award winning recording artist. She is the lead vocalist for World of Warcraft and has collaborated with Grammy and Emmy winning composers. She coaches founders, CEOs, and successful creative professionals, helping high achieving adults regulate their nervous system, deepen their relationships, and create clarity in every part of their lives. For private coaching or corporate neurodiversity consultations, you can enquire via adhdcoachnella@gmail.com or www.adhdlifemastery.org.

Once the ink is dry on the decree absolute (or sometimes way before then), many of us start to think about meeting our next person. How wonderful it will be to be in love again, we decide. 

However, between now and that wonderful goal stands the dreaded dating scene. For many divorced people, dating can seem nothing less than traumatic. We worry we won’t find anybody who likes us and that we won’t find anybody we want to date. We fret about what to talk about on a date, what to wear, where to go.  And what about dating etiquette? Will we have to flirt? What are the new rules? It can all seem terrifying, especially if you have not dated in many years.

But with the right preparation, dating after divorce can be great fun and an enormous confidence boost. So, if you are thinking about dipping a toe in the dating world after divorce, there are some important questions to consider.  

When is the right time?

This is probably the most frequently asked question I hear from my divorce coaching clients and it comes in various forms. 

Am I ready? Is it too soon? Am I on the rebound? What will people say?

The thing is, there is no right answer. The right time is different for everybody, so you are ready when you are ready. Nevertheless, it’s important to think about why you are considering dating to test if you are doing it for the right reasons. Many people start dating because they don’t want to be alone, or because they want to hurt their ex and make them realise what they are missing. Clearly these are not good reasons to be putting yourself out there.

You also need to know your own worth and be prepared to ignore or walk away from people who will not value you. Divorce can leave you lacking in self-belief, so it’s best to invest the time in developing a firm belief in who you are and what you bring to the table. 

Be honest with yourself to judge if your resilience is low. No matter who you are, what you look like, how interesting you are, dating WILL involve knockbacks and confidence blows. Are you strong enough to take those right now? 

You are ready to date after divorce when you are doing it for yourself, for the right reasons. You know why you are dating and you are clear on what you are looking for. 

Why am I dating?

Some may think it’s a silly question but when I ask it of my clients, the disparate answers include:

• To meet my soul mate
• I need financial support
• For sex
• For companionship
• I don’t want to be alone forever.

Knowing your “why” is important because it will clarify what you are seeking. If you are just interested in short-term dalliances right now, then maybe similar values and interests are less important than physical appearance and proximity. Conversely, if you are only interested in a long-term relationship, then looks may take a back seat to certain personality traits.

Your “why” will also impact where you look. Casual dating is more prevalent on certain apps but if you want a long-term committed relationship, you may want to consider a professional matchmaker. Remember, your motivation for dating can, and probably will, change over time.

What do I want?

This is more tricky.

Some dating experts advocate drawing up a specific list of criteria and then deciding what is non-negotiable, and what is less important. There are many factors people use to filter their choices. Physical appearance, geographical proximity, whether they have children, occupation, education, interests, and background are just some of the things that are important to people when they are deciding who to meet. 

However, the nature of dating is that even when somebody ticks every box, you may not have any chemistry between you. Of course, without chemistry you have nothing.

So, it is a good idea to understand what is important to you because it helps you understand what to look for, and what to avoid. However, the romantic in me also believes that we should remain open-minded because who knows what the next “one” will be like?

Where? 

So you’ve decided you are ready to date, so, it’s time to get started. Depending on what you’ve decided you want to get out of your search for love, your options include online dating, local singles’ events, asking friends for introductions, joining clubs, or professional matchmaking.

Dating after divorce is like any other new experience. You need to understand it and what you want from it – and then you can see if you enjoy it. 

The very best piece of advice I heard was to remember that everybody is in the same boat. The people you are dating are just as terrified, just as unsure and just as keen to meet their person. So be brave, dive in and enjoy!

Amanda Gardiner is a Divorce Coach who runs a Facebook group offering support and advice for people experiencing separation and divorce. 

At Ignite Dating, your dedicated matchmaker is with you every step of the way, working closely with you to understand the characteristics and values that are important to you. Our experienced matchmaking team brings a wealth of knowledge and expertise to make your dating journey as streamlined and enjoyable as possible. Get in touch today to find out how we can help you.