Too many fish in the sea? Here’s why you should only date one person at a time

Are you tired of the constant swiping, answering the same questions over and over again and seeing potential partners fizzle out to nothing only to end up at the bottom of your inbox?

It sounds like you could be on your way to dating burnout, and there are probably several reasons for this.

Constantly starting new conversations, talking to multiple people at once and never knowing if someone is being honest with you can take its toll on even the most resilient singles. Yet, so many people are still taking this multi-approach to dating.

If any of this sounds familiar, this blog post is for you. Below, we’re going to take a look at why dating just one person at a time could actually be the answer to your dating problems and why the talented matchmakers at Ignite Dating prefer this approach.

Why do people default to dating multiple people?

In a recent news story, a young TikTok content creator shared how she had asked for feedback from a Tinder match when he ghosted her after just two dates.

His reply? Well, with so many options available, he didn’t want to be tied down.

And it seems to be the case for lots of people out there. This is just one of the key reasons that so many single people choose to use saturated dating apps and date multiple people at once, others include the fact that:

  • They are experimenting with dating
  • They are trying to avoid starting a relationship too quickly
  • They are not ready to start dating properly
  • They are looking for validation and attention from different sources
  • They are keeping their options open
  • They are letting their libido make decisions for them
  • They believe there are plenty of fish in the sea

Why dating multiple people can do more harm than good

Dating is the discovery phase during a (potential) relationship. It’s the point at which you ask questions, start getting to know one another and look for any major red flags. Without fully embracing this stage and giving each match the time to carry out this essential due diligence, you could end up with the wrong person.

After all, if you blindly bluster through the dating journey, seeing multiple people, you might find you end up ignoring red flags that could become an issue at a later date. Not only that, but you will find that by keeping your options open, you essentially become emotionally unavailable and sit on the fence when on a date. This means that you might miss out on some potentially great connections and relationships because you were too focused on whether something better is on the horizon rather than concentrating on the opportunity right in front of you. 

Worse still, if you have a pattern of being involved with, for instance, emotionally stunted partners or those who cheat, you might end up just dating the same person over and over again. And you should always avoid dating an ex (or someone very similar to an ex).

All of the above is exactly why multiple dating can be heartbreaking, confusing and, let’s face it, stressful!

Why our matchmakers believe in setting up one match at a time

Now, don’t get us wrong, we’re not saying that you can’t have fun on your dating journey, and you can’t meet multiple people before settling down. However, our talented team of matchmakers prefer to work on a one match at a time basis. Ultimately, this is a method that has proven successful time and time again.  

To do this, they will get to know you and what you want from a relationship by using the perfect combination of Myers-Briggs personality profiling, experience, intuition and their extensive private network. This way, they can match you with like-minded, successful singles who complement you and your lifestyle.

And by dating just one person at a time, you are more likely to be emotionally available, build genuine connections and be your authentic self when out on dates. You’re also more likely to recognise if someone isn’t right for you before you’ve dedicated too much time to the relationship.

So, if you’re tired of dating apps and you’re ready to find someone who you share a genuine connection with, get in touch with the team at Ignite Dating today. As an elite matchmaking consultancy, our expert team of matchmakers are on hand to help you every step of the way.


Why you shouldn’t be afraid to make the first move

We are taught very early on in our lives that men love the chase and that playing hard to get is the best way for women to capture their attention. But this is simply not the case.

In 2021, we must ditch those outdated rules that shame women who choose to make the first move. After all, it’s never easy to make the first move when you like someone, especially if you’re more of an introvert. But taking this step becomes a lot easier if you give yourself permission to do so.

So, if you’ve been debating whether to ask someone out for a while now or been wondering whether to be the first to express your feelings, we’re here to explain why you shouldn’t be afraid to make the first move and more importantly, why you shouldn’t judge yourself when you do.

Good things come to those who go out and get them

You’ve probably heard the famous saying, good things come to those who wait, but that just isn’t true.

Think about it; if you want a new phone, you don’t just sit at home hoping that someone will magically bring one to your door – you go out, and you get one. Much in the same way that when you want that promotion at work, you don’t just sit on the sidelines and hope for results. Instead, you speak to your boss, explain why you deserve it, and then work hard to prove it.

And the same rules apply in the dating world.

If you sit back and wait for someone to come to you, what’s to stop another successful single from snapping them up before you get the chance?

Nothing! This is why you should never be afraid to get out there and make the first move. Those that get up and chase what they want are more likely to succeed, and that applies to relationships too.

Don’t live with regrets

They say in the end that we regret the things that we don’t do in life, not the things that we do, and it is often those missed opportunities that hurt the most.

And when it comes to dating the same is true. Sitting back and waiting for the perfect partner to come to you could leave you lonely and full of regret, especially as you see those closest to you or even those old crushes settle down and enjoy happy, long-lasting relationships.

So instead of spending years thinking ‘what if’ or ‘what could have happened’, you need to take the chance yourself and make a move. And hey, even if it doesn’t work out in the end, at least you know you did all you could, and you won’t be left regretting the move you never made.

Don’t leave anything to chance

If you leave it to someone else to make the first move, there is a lot of ambiguity and room for confusion. While you may think that you are sending out all the right signals and flashing that green light, if the other person hasn’t picked up on them or the signs aren’t showing off how you’re really feeling, you’re leaving everything to chance.

After all, they might be confused about whether you’re open to a relationship or what you expect from them. And if they are just as unsure about making that first move as you, you could both find that the opportunity passes you by with neither of you ever taking that step. Whereas, if you make that first move yourself, you leave nothing to chance as you know exactly what you want and can start as you mean to go on in your new dating journey.

Timing is everything

Finally, timing is everything, and if you wait for the ‘perfect’ moment, you could find it’s too little too late.

While we understand that you might want to wait for a great hair day, for a day when the sun is shining, or for a day when Mercury is in retrograde, you may find that you will be waiting a while. And by the time all those perfect instances align; you might find that your crush has moved on and found someone else or perhaps even relocated too far from you.

So essentially, what we’re saying is, don’t sit back and wait for what you want or it might be too late. Make that first move and get your dating journey off to an exciting start – you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

If sitting around and waiting for that perfect partner hasn’t worked for you so far, get in touch with our friendly team and find out how they can give you the confidence to start your dating journey and change your dating game.


10 signs of true intimacy in a relationship

In the early stages of a relationship, cute morning texts, spontaneous lunches and surprise bouquets of flowers are great! But there comes a time in every relationship when you need something more.

You need your partner to be able to read your mood, support you emotionally and allow you to be your truest self. But developing an intimate relationship with someone doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, commitment, and trust.

If you’re not sure whether you and your partner have reached this level of intimacy yet, here are 10 signs of true intimacy to look out for in your relationship.

1. You can be vulnerable around them

One of the most important aspects of any relationship is being able to open up to your partner about anything and still feel loved. If you’re unable to truly say what you’re feeling and thinking for fear of them being judgmental or getting angry, it’s a surefire sign that your relationship might not have achieved true intimacy just yet.

2. Raw honesty doesn’t scare you

Following on from the last point, an intimate relationship requires partners to be honest with one another and to also offer honest feedback. For example, letting them know if something they do upsets you or if you’re not in a financial position to buy or do something they wanted to.

Though this might mean initial disappointment or the need to adjust and change to begin with, being willing to adapt in your relationship is a sign of true intimacy.

3. You appreciate nonsexual intimacy

In the early stages, sexual intimacy is often more heightened, but as time goes on you learn to appreciate physical affection outside of sex. This can be anything from holding hands to a kiss on the cheek or even a massage after a long day at work.

4. You respect each other’s boundaries

Being open and honest with your partner means sharing your insecurities and setting out your personal boundaries. Whether these boundaries are sexual, physical, or emotional, true intimacy means understanding and respecting these boundaries.

5. You don’t feel judged

If you can say or do anything (within reason, of course) without feeling judged, this is a sign of true intimacy. For example, being open about your sexual preferences or confessing when you need a break from their family or friends without being scared of hurting their feelings.

6. You can rely on them if things go wrong

Life can be tough and there can be unexpected challenges, so you need someone you can rely on to help and support you through these times. If you know you can whole-heartedly rely on them when things go wrong no matter what the situation, this is a sure sign that you’ve achieved true intimacy.

7. You have an unspoken language

Can just one side glance tell you exactly what they’re thinking? Perhaps you can read their facial expressions like a book, and they don’t even have to say a word? This unspoken language and way of communicating shows that you know each other inside and out.

8. You make each other a priority

When you’ve been together a while, it’s easy to fall into a daily routine. Between juggling work, hobbies, friends and family, you might find that you stop making time for one another.

But itt has been proven that couples that make time for each other with at least one date night a month are less likely to break up. By prioritising each other and spending quality time together regularly, you can achieve deeper intimacy and increased levels of communication.

9. They’re always the first person you want to talk to

Whether you’ve heard juicy gossip, something upsetting, a funny joke or life-changing news, your partner is always the first person you want to share this with. If this is the case for yourself and your partner, this is a sign that your intimacy is strong and that, ultimately, they are your best friend.

10. You actually put your phones down

Finally, it might sound like the bare minimum to expect but putting your phone down when talking to your partner,  has become a real issue in relationships in today’s digital age. In fact, a study found that 70% of people confess that mobile phone usage frequently interferes with their relationships.

But if you’ve found a partner that puts down their phone when you’re spending together and gives you their undivided attention, this is a more modern sign of true intimacy.

If you’re single and need help finding that partner to achieve true intimacy with then look no further. Get in touch with our expert team and find out how they can help you achieve that long-term, successful relationship that you’ve been searching for.