Seven deadly sins of dating: how important is intelligence really?

Maybe it’s the boom of online dating and the necessity to have a checklist or the fact that more and more of us are heading to university each year, but the education level of a partner seems to be playing a dominant role in the criteria of successful, single professionals in recent years.

More recently, nearly 70% of people admit that it’s important or very important to be intellectually challenged by a romantic partner. A trend that seems to be more highly valued amongst millennials than any other generation. But why have we become so focused on education?

While men aren’t so focused on education levels, for many women who are educated to degree level and beyond, finding a partner that has similar credentials when it comes to education status is significant. For the most part, women find it easier to connect with a partner who has a similar knowledge base and has shared comparable experiences. While that may make sense for the most part, particularly if intelligent and stimulating conversation is an attribute that you admire most in a person, there is one major flaw that is being overlooked.

The problem. The ratio of degree educated men to women in life – not just on dating sites or through agencies – just doesn’t add up. In the UK alone, nearly 67,000 more women enrol in further education than men. Put simply, there aren’t enough degree educated men to go around!

Women are more highly educated than ever before and the reason that many women can’t find a partner with similar qualifications is because they simply don’t exist. But life experiences and success go far beyond sitting in a university lecture hall. And people like Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Steve Jobs, Walt Disney and many more are testament to that.

When we meet people organically, where someone went to school or the qualification they have, are often irrelevant and questions saved for job interviews, not dates. The reason being is that fundamentally, we don’t really care. In fact, it’s usually something that comes up after a connection has been formed with that person and at that stage bears very little impact on the way you see them or feel about them. Realistically, are you going to end a great relationship over the fact that six months in you find out that they failed university or dropped out of school – honestly the answer is no. We have also discovered that men who fall into the ultra-high net worth category are usually business savvy, rather than academic, with many of them leaving school with no formal qualifications at all. Would the missing piece of paper with a set of numbers on really be a hurdle to meeting a successful man who could be your perfect match?

While the checklist culture of online dating has led us to believe that education is an important attribute to measure whether you move forward with a proposed match, it’s crucial to recognise that it may just be a barrier you’re putting in place – and one that statistically speaking is unlikely to come to fruition for many people.

Next time you’re looking over a profile and everything else lines up but the education level, stop and remember the household names that we mentioned above. Success comes in all different forms, and you may even find that whether they attended university or not, the life experiences that they have and the intellect that they channel, might be more aligned than you ever could have imagined.

So, let’s leave the education questions to the interview boardroom where they belong!

If you’re single and looking for a new way to date that focuses on the things that really matter, then get in touch with our expert team of matchmakers today. With their expert knowledge and extensive experience, they can guide you away from the barriers you’ve been relying on and open your journey to the relationship that you truly deserve.


Seven deadly sins of dating: why wealth doesn’t guarantee relationship success

It’s a topic that sparks controversy when it comes to dating. Whether you’re the breadwinner in the relationship or your partner is, the financial standing of your cash and asset wealth is often an element of scrutiny when picking a partner. But what is it about financial status that makes us value the materialistic over the realistic when it comes to ideal attributes?

From the moment you start dating, socioeconomic status plays a role. And while the necessity for it may have changed over the years, there is no denying that when it comes to dating the wealth that you have could influence the type of partner you attract.

Looking back through history, women used to have to marry for money. With limited ways to make their own living and at times, no legal ability to hold and inherit property themselves, partnering up with a wealthy man could be the only way to find financial security. But despite society evolving and women becoming more educated and qualified and ultimately able to earn their own money and invest in their own assets, women are still four times more likely to focus on salary when considering a partner, than their male counterparts. But contrary to popular belief, financial compatibility does not mean you need to go looking for a partner with the same financial standing as yourself – it goes much deeper than that.

Money has long been known to be a leading cause of stress in relationships. Probably because, for the most part, it is a topic that we don’t talk about. Whether you’re new to the relationship and you’re scared to approach the subject for fear that bringing up something ‘real’ will put a dampener on the fun that you are having or maybe you’re in a long-term relationship and you’ve never considered discussing the finances with your partner as everything always seems to have a way of working itself out, not talking about money could become a sticking point in the success of your relationship.

After all, money is going to impact any choices that you and your partner decide to make in the future. From buying a house, to having children, going on holiday to plans to retire, all of these milestones in your relationship require a considerable amount of financial planning, and if you aren’t on the same page when it comes to how you spend your money it’s going to cause some major problems further down the road.

That said, financial compatibility isn’t about finding someone with the same financial standing as you or declining a perfectly good match simply because they don’t earn enough money. It’s about finding a partner who shares your attitude and habits surrounding money. How many times have you heard stories about wealthy businessmen or women who go bankrupt in the blink of an eye and have to start all over again, or people that earn a moderate wage but then work hard and become financially stable just a few years later – our guess, a lot.

So, next time you’re looking at someone’s profile or you’re having a drink with a potential partner, listen to where their priorities lie. The way somebody talks about and acts with their money can give you a much better insight into your compatibility than the numbers on their wage slip or the properties in their portfolio ever will.

After all, money can’t buy happiness.

Finding that perfect partner can be a chore, but it doesn’t have to be. With expert matchmakers and in-depth knowledge on your side, you can completely change the success of your dating journey and come to realise the things that really matter to you. Get in touch with our friendly team today to find out how they can make your plans a reality.


Seven deadly sins of dating: to marry or not to marry

What is the ultimate goal when it comes to a relationship? The one thing that you want to achieve above all else. Well, depending on who you ask the answers will differ. But despite that, society’s stereotypes still have us believing that when it comes to love and romance, marriage is the only deciding factor that counts when it comes to how ‘real’ your relationship is.

But with marriage rates declining, isn’t it about time that the stereotypes portrayed in TV shows, movies, literature and even in real life, caught up with the reality that not every couple wants to get married – and that it doesn’t make their commitment any less real.

While we may be hopeless romantics at Ignite Dating and swoon over stories of proposals and photos of brides and grooms looking happy and loved up as they take that first step into their new lives together, we are also realists that recognise that measuring relationship success is as unique to each couple as the journey it took to get there.

To marry or not to marry is a personal choice, but just like the other deadly sins we talked about it isn’t set in stone. Sometimes it just takes meeting the right person for your standpoint on marriage to completely turnaround. And certain activities in a relationship can increase the chances of that proposal happening, regardless of your feelings towards marriage beforehand.

When you first start dating, a bond starts to form between you and your prospective partner as you get to know each other better. As you navigate that relationship and enjoy rituals together, whether it’s celebrating a birthday, going on holiday or simply a Friday night movie marathon, you get to witness behaviour and interactions that might indicate where the relationship is going.    

Research has shown that a couple’s commitment to get married can increase or decrease depending on the nature of the interactions that they have between them. While you may think those routine dinners and snuggling up with a movie on the couch are just part and parcel of everyday life in your relationship, they could actually be the key to determining the success of your future together. After all, rituals can reinforce bonds and strengthen commitment, but they can also showcase conflict areas and make people less likely to see the relationship heading towards marriage. In short, they force us to slow down and take a better look at the relationship and who you are as a couple.

When it comes to somebody’s viewpoint on marriage, it is usually determined by their own experiences and the opinions of those close to them, such as their parent’s marriage, previous relationships and even the relationships that their friends have. But that doesn’t mean that it can’t change over time.

We have seen it happen multiple times, where somebody has said that marriage is not something that they’re interested in, only to go ahead and find the woman or man of their dreams and take a walk up the aisle. Don’t rule out somebody who isn’t prioritising marriage right now, but instead remember that they haven’t met you yet and for all you know, you could be that person who completely changes the game for them.

And if on the other side of it, you have a great relationship, you’re committed and loyal to each other and make the decision that marriage isn’t for you, then that’s ok too. Every love story and relationship is different, so don’t try to mould yourself to what everybody expects you to be as a couple and instead enjoy the moments that you share together – after all, that’s all that really matters.

If you’re single and looking for a relationship that is fulfilling, committed and based on the traits and qualities that matter most, then get in touch with our friendly team today. With their expert advice and support, they can guide you away from the barriers that you’re subconsciously putting into place and open your eyes to a completely new way of dating. 


Seven deadly sins of dating: why men prefer slim women

When it comes to physical appearance and attractiveness in a partner some things will never change – no matter how much we evolve. And none more so, than the commonly debated topic of body types.

Just as women tend to place more importance on their partner’s height, men put more emphasis on their partner’s shape. But why?

It’s an everyday scene amongst couples; a gentleman with a slim, attractive partner. But what is it about the average to curvy physique that causes such a sticking point when choosing the right life partner? Historically, when choosing a mate, a man would opt for a woman with a body fat percentage of 30%, which for today would be deemed a curvaceous figure.

The reason being women with a higher fat percentage were perceived to be a better prospect for the role of a mother, but the crucial point came as to where the fat was situated on her body, with the most attractive being the hips and thighs and not the waist.

However, as time went on the definition of fitness changed too. Fitness in evolutionary terms comprises of two things; survival and the ability to reproduce. A BMI of between 17 and 20 corresponds to the average BMI of someone aged 18-20 with maximal fertility and minimal risk of future disease. So evolutionarily speaking, the reason that men find slimness in females so attractive is because they equate it with youth. Even if they do not want more children, it’s in their subconscious. 

That said, there is such a thing as too skinny. You will rarely find a man pawing over a copy of vogue or watching fashion shows and scouting out the ultra-skinny models. Instead, they are more likely to be looking for a relatively slim physique coupled with that highly admired hourglass figure.

Of course, whether someone prefers a partner who is taller or heavier can vary depending on how tall or heavy that person is themselves, but ultimately just like body types there is no one size fits all.

Having a low BMI, while it may lower the risks of certain health issues such as diabetes and heart disease, it doesn’t guarantee that you are going to be free from disease later in life or able to have children. There are stories galore of slim women that have trouble to conceive or struggle with health issues, just like there are stories of more curvaceous women who have no problem living fit and healthy lives as a mother.

So, let’s start looking at body types and weight as just what they are. A figure that is not static. As we get older our body types change thanks in no small part to hormones, lifestyle changes, dietary requirements, and life stages. The chances are while your dream partner may be a petite size 6 now, 20 years down the line will they look the same? Our guess is probably not.

Next time you’re looking at a profile, disregard the photo completely. Instead, look at what it really says about the person, their values, their aspirations, their lifestyle, and their outlook on life. These are the things that will tell you all you need to know about the person and will give you far more insight into the compatibility of a relationship than a number on the scales ever will.

If you are single and looking for a more holistic way to date, then get in touch with our friendly team of expert matchmakers today. With their ongoing guidance and support, you’ll realise the things that really matter to you and find that your dating journey is far more successful with your eyes wide open.


The seven deadly sins of dating: why women prefer tall men

It’s a common sight amongst couples; a tall gentleman walking down the street holding hands with a lady shorter than him. But what is it about height that seems to cause such a stir when choosing the right partner?

Looking back through evolution, it can be argued that women preferred to partner up with a taller man as they were deemed stronger and more capable of fighting off physical threats towards his family. But despite humanity becoming more civilised over the centuries and physical threats at a minimum, that idea of a taller gentleman being a better mate seems to remain.

History has shown that there is something appealing about taller men. From TV shows to movies and even in real life, men in successful positions (whether Company Directors or Prime Ministers) are more likely to be of a grander stature than their colleagues.

And it seems there is a psychological explanation for this. Their leadership abilities may lie in the fact that generally, taller men have higher self-esteem, are happier and less likely to feel jealous or insecure around other men. As a result, women tend to gravitate towards men over 6ft tall, believing that they are more successful and secure than their counterparts.

But with the average height of a UK man being 5ft 9”, where does that leave our shorter counterparts today?

Firstly, height is just a number. If you think about it logically, being tall doesn’t necessarily mean you are stronger, smarter, or more successful. It also doesn’t guarantee that your relationship is going to be any more long-lasting than if you were to date a gentleman who was three inches shorter. The only certainty it offers is that you are dating a gentleman who is taller than you – and really in the grand scheme of life that isn’t anything to write home about!

Secondly, if you take a moment to stop and think about the things that are really important to you, where would height come into it? Our guess (and from proven experience) when everything else aligns such as values, aspirations, lifestyle, those lack of inches are not as vital as first perceived to be.

After all, would you rather have a gentleman who is the same height or slightly taller than you but who loves you, supports you, works with you towards your shared goals and is respectful and loving or someone who doesn’t share much in the way of values and aspirations but who is that perceived perfect height of 6ft plus?

Obviously, the answer is a no brainer!

So next time you’re looking over a profile and you catch sight of their height, ignore it. Instead look at the things that really matter; the kind of person they are, the dreams they wish to achieve in the future and envision how you fit into their storyline. We can promise you, only then, will you achieve a more fulfilling and stronger relationship.

If you are single and looking for a way to declutter that checklist and concentrate on the important things, then get in touch with our friendly team today. Our expert matchmakers are on hand to bring clarity to your dating journey and open up your expectations to allow that perfect partner to walk into your life and enjoy a happily ever after together.


The seven deadly sins of dating: how important are common interests really?

When it comes to relationships, it’s a misconception universally acknowledged that to find your happily ever after you need to be a mirror of your partner. From your music, TV and film tastes through to your hobbies and interests, single people often believe that the more common interests you have, the more successful your relationship is likely to be.

But research has shown that this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Yet, despite this it remains one of the most common reasons for declining a potential match, with both online and offline agencies alike. How often have you looked over someone’s profile and declined or skipped over it simply because they had the ‘wrong’ taste in music, or they were too active and outdoorsy for you? Our guess? Quite a lot.

Although shared interests offer a common platform for you both to be excited about something and a good starting point for those initial conversations, it doesn’t guarantee that your relationship will achieve long-term success. In fact, according to psychology, there are only two things that a couple really needs to make a relationship work: a shared meaning in the relationship and to show an interest in one another’s hobbies and passions.

What is shared meaning in a relationship?

Successful relationships are built on so much more than common interests. Values, aspirations, and lifestyle are just as important, if not more so. These are the foundations that build a shared meaning in a relationship; knowing who you both are, what you are both about and what values are important to you.

But it’s important to remember that having a shared meaning in a relationship doesn’t mean you are abandoning the values and goals that you had when you were single. Instead, the best couples focus on the dreams that you both had before the relationship and work out as a partnership how you can help each other achieve them, whilst also making new goals for your future together.

Different passions doesn’t mean you’re not compatible

Just because you’re into 80s pop and your partner is more of a heavy metal fan, doesn’t mean that you can’t work as a couple. The same can be said if your idea of fun is climbing up mountains and camping on the weekends, but your partner would prefer a luxury break at a spa. These differences in our passions and interest are what make us all unique.

Although common interests can give you something to enjoy together, the important part and the compatibility between you comes from understanding and respecting the interests that your partner has – even if they are completely different to your own.

The difference between the couples that make it and the couples that don’t, isn’t down to the number of differences that they have, it’s how they manage and talk about those differences. So, next time you’re about to decline somebody based on their interests, take a moment to stop and think about traits that do align. Because if the important things are there surely, it’s worth putting up with their love for Country music or whatever else they may be into!

Dating doesn’t have to be a guessing game. If you’re single and looking for a new way to date that will help you find the true meaning of a relationship and discover what’s really important to you then, then get in touch with our team of expert matchmakers today. With their expert knowledge and guidance you can find a relationship that will be fulfilling and long-lasting, even if you have different interests.


The seven deadly sins of dating: why age is just a number

Ageing. It’s a topic that ticks away quietly in the background as a natural element of life. Everyone knows that it plays a huge part in dating, but nobody ever has an honest conversation about it – until now.

Think about it, how many times have you heard someone say they’re a ‘young 54-year-old’ so looking for a partner who is younger than themselves? No matter what age you are, men and women over the age of 50 feel a need to deny the fact that they are ageing. But why?

After all, with age comes experience, knowledge, and maturity. While our bodies may be ageing physically, it doesn’t mean that you are any less dateable than someone in their twenties.

Age is just a number.

How old you are doesn’t stop you from doing the things that you love. We work with clients that are in their fifties and sixties that enjoy extreme sports or adventure activities, clients in their seventies that are still as switched on as they were in their thirties and still successfully running their businesses and clients in their twenties and thirties that love nothing more than a cosy night in.

The point is your age doesn’t determine who you are and what you like to do. And the same can be said for your potential partner. While you may class yourself as a ‘young 54-year-old’, everyone’s interpretation of youth is different. Although society and the media may lead us to believe that life stops after 50, it doesn’t. Ultimately though, you are still 54.

Your age isn’t something that you should be embarrassed about. It’s just a number – a date that you were born. The important point to remember is whether you choose to grow old gracefully or have a little work done to make yourself feel better, you can be just as attractive and dateable as you were before you reached your fifties – because deep down it’s the person that counts not the number.

So, next time you are looking at a profile of a prospective match, ignore the age. Read about the person and recognise the commonalities that you have, not only in terms of interests and hobbies but also the more important factors like values, aspirations, and lifestyle choices. Because when you get older and the looks fade for both of you, these will be the characteristics that matter most.

If you’re single and looking for a new way to date that recognises the value that you have to offer a partner away from your age, then get in touch with our friendly team today. Our expert matchmakers are here to help you realise just what you have to offer that special someone and ensure that you meet the right person in a safe, honest and enjoyable way.