Seven deadly sins of dating: to marry or not to marry

What is the ultimate goal when it comes to a relationship? The one thing that you want to achieve above all else. Well, depending on who you ask the answers will differ. But despite that, society’s stereotypes still have us believing that when it comes to love and romance, marriage is the only deciding factor that counts when it comes to how ‘real’ your relationship is.

But with marriage rates declining, isn’t it about time that the stereotypes portrayed in TV shows, movies, literature and even in real life, caught up with the reality that not every couple wants to get married – and that it doesn’t make their commitment any less real.

While we may be hopeless romantics at Ignite Dating and swoon over stories of proposals and photos of brides and grooms looking happy and loved up as they take that first step into their new lives together, we are also realists that recognise that measuring relationship success is as unique to each couple as the journey it took to get there.

To marry or not to marry is a personal choice, but just like the other deadly sins we talked about it isn’t set in stone. Sometimes it just takes meeting the right person for your standpoint on marriage to completely turnaround. And certain activities in a relationship can increase the chances of that proposal happening, regardless of your feelings towards marriage beforehand.

When you first start dating, a bond starts to form between you and your prospective partner as you get to know each other better. As you navigate that relationship and enjoy rituals together, whether it’s celebrating a birthday, going on holiday or simply a Friday night movie marathon, you get to witness behaviour and interactions that might indicate where the relationship is going.    

Research has shown that a couple’s commitment to get married can increase or decrease depending on the nature of the interactions that they have between them. While you may think those routine dinners and snuggling up with a movie on the couch are just part and parcel of everyday life in your relationship, they could actually be the key to determining the success of your future together. After all, rituals can reinforce bonds and strengthen commitment, but they can also showcase conflict areas and make people less likely to see the relationship heading towards marriage. In short, they force us to slow down and take a better look at the relationship and who you are as a couple.

When it comes to somebody’s viewpoint on marriage, it is usually determined by their own experiences and the opinions of those close to them, such as their parent’s marriage, previous relationships and even the relationships that their friends have. But that doesn’t mean that it can’t change over time.

We have seen it happen multiple times, where somebody has said that marriage is not something that they’re interested in, only to go ahead and find the woman or man of their dreams and take a walk up the aisle. Don’t rule out somebody who isn’t prioritising marriage right now, but instead remember that they haven’t met you yet and for all you know, you could be that person who completely changes the game for them.

And if on the other side of it, you have a great relationship, you’re committed and loyal to each other and make the decision that marriage isn’t for you, then that’s ok too. Every love story and relationship is different, so don’t try to mould yourself to what everybody expects you to be as a couple and instead enjoy the moments that you share together – after all, that’s all that really matters.

If you’re single and looking for a relationship that is fulfilling, committed and based on the traits and qualities that matter most, then get in touch with our friendly team today. With their expert advice and support, they can guide you away from the barriers that you’re subconsciously putting into place and open your eyes to a completely new way of dating. 

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