Month: February 2025

Have you heard of the ’36 Questions to Fall in Love’ theory?

You may well have, as it is not new. In fact, it was an experiment developed by psychologist Arthur Aron in 1997, and it gained widespread attention in 2015 after being featured in an article in the New York Times. 

And now, just like waist chains, butterfly clips and matching tracksuits, this theory has become popular again in 2025. 

But what is the 36 questions theory, and how can it help you on your dating journey? 

The ‘36 questions to fall in love’ theory

The theory is a psychological experiment designed to create emotional intimacy between two people through a structured conversation. It was originally created to explore how emotional closeness between strangers can be accelerated through mutual sharing. 

The idea is that by answering increasingly personal questions, individuals can develop a deeper sense of understanding, trust and connection with one another, potentially leading to romantic feelings.

That is why this can be such a great tool when you’re dating. Not to mention, it can be a great icebreaker! 

Although, it might be one you want to save for the second or third date. 

How these 36 questions work

It’s not just about the rattling of 36 random questions. Instead, these fixed questions are divided into three sets, with each set becoming progressively deeper and more personal. 

The idea behind this structure is that as the questions unfold, individuals will gradually become more vulnerable and open with one another. 

The process typically ends with four minutes of uninterrupted eye contact, which is believed to enhance feelings of closeness. But you might wish to forgo this if it feels a little too intense in the early stages.

Some examples of the questions include:

• If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, who would it be?
• What is your most treasured memory?
• What is your greatest fear?
• When did you last cry in front of someone else?

As you can see, the questions start off relatively simple but eventually touch on deeper emotions, personal insecurities and significant life moments. 

As you answer these questions and listen to the other person’s responses, you’ll both engage in mutual vulnerability, which is a key element in building emotional intimacy.

Does it work?

While the 36 Questions experiment can help to facilitate conversation and closeness, for obvious reasons, it does not guarantee you’ll fall in love. This theory does not replace the deeper aspects of building a relationship, such as shared values, long-term compatibility and real-life experiences together.

That said, it can help you on your dating journey because it creates an intimate environment and encourages you both to open up emotionally and to be vulnerable with one another. 

This can accelerate intimacy as you share stories, memories, ambitions and truths that it might otherwise take months to share with each other. And as if all that wasn’t enough, these questions also give you talking points for in-person dates and any text conversations that follow. 

So, despite there being no guarantee, these questions do offer a great starting point when you’re dating. They can be an excellent way to get to know someone and to open up to them, and who knows, it might even lead to your true love. 

You can check out the full 36 questions in this Cosmopolitan guide. For more dating advice and help finding love this year, get in touch with our team of matchmakers today. 

Navigating the world of modern dating can be very exciting; those first flirtatious glances, planning the first date, getting butterflies in your stomach every time your phone pings. 

You know the feeling. 

But it can also be nerve-wracking and even overwhelming.

Should you message them first? What should your first message say? Where should you go and what should you do for your first date? What should you wear? 

There’s so much to consider in those early stages if you want to make a lasting impression, pave the way for a meaningful connection and, yes, secure a second date. 

So how do you make yourself stand out in a sea of potential partners?  

Well, we’re going to share some advice on getting it right from the very first message to saying goodbye at the end of your first date. 

Crafting the perfect first message

It doesn’t matter how you met, whether that was through mutual friends, a chance happening on the street or through a matchmaking service like Ignite Dating, your first message exchange can feel high pressure. 

Don’t make the mistake of sending something generic that can be ignored, like ‘Hey’ or ‘This is Tom’. These messages don’t exactly ignite that spark or encourage them to reply. Instead, it’s better to be more personal and specific, tapping into any information you already know about them. 

For example, if you know that they enjoy good coffee, ask them where their favourite coffee place is. This is also a great way to start lining up a venue  for a first date. 

Well-placed humour or a joke is also a great first step because who doesn’t love someone who makes them laugh? 

Just make sure that you keep your messages short and engaging. No one wants to read an essay, especially from someone they’ve just met. 

Keeping the conversation flowing

Once you’ve got their attention, you want to maintain an engaging conversation over the coming days before the first date. To do this, you should ask open-ended questions and share personal stories or anecdotes. This will build rapport and help you get to know one another. 

Just be careful to avoid overloading them with messages and follow-ups. Give them space to reply and let the conversation flow naturally.

It’s also important to recognise when it’s time to move on to the next step. Don’t let the conversation fizzle out into just another textual exchange. Once you’ve established a comfortable rapport with them, it might be time to suggest a first date. 

Asking for the first date

When planning the first date, timing is everything. Too soon, and you might come across as pushy; too late, and you both may have lost interest. 

With that in mind, the best time to ask is after you’ve established a fun and engaging conversation. When you do ask them, make sure to be confident but casual and give a specific but flexible plan. 

For example, you could suggest a specific activity or place to go whilst giving them the opportunity to choose the date and time. 

If they seem hesitant or have a busy schedule, don’t push them for an answer. A polite “No worries, let me know if you’d like to go another time” keeps things open-ended. If they’re truly interested in meeting you, they’ll get back to you to get more formal plans in place. 

Making a great impression on the first date

Now that the date is set, the next step is ensuring everything goes well.

It doesn’t matter what you decide to do or where you’re going, whether it’s dinner in the evening or a walk around the local park at lunchtime, you need to make a good impression if you hope to secure another date. 

In order to do this, you need to:

• Be punctual – Never leave them waiting, and if you are late for reasons out of your control, make sure to contact them and keep them updated on the situation until you arrive. 
• Dress appropriately – What you wear will depend on the activity, but it’s important that whatever you’re doing, you look well-presented and put together. Looking like you haven’t made any effort just won’t do it, even if you’re going on a muddy dog walk or just grabbing a quick coffee.
• Keep the conversation balanced – You don’t want your first date to feel like an interview; you also don’t want to dominate the conversation. So, make sure to actively listen to them and offer thoughtful questions or responses. 
• Avoid contentious subjects –  Similarly, there are some topics you should probably avoid on the first day, topics such as politics, unless, of course, this is a shared interest. 
• Choose the right venue – Opt for a place that allows for easy conversation or choose fun activities that you’re both interested in. Loud bars or crowded restaurants can be stressful and make it hard to have an enjoyable conversation with one another. 
• Be mindful of your body language – During the date, maintain good eye contact, smile naturally and use open body language to show you’re interested. Avoid crossing your arms or looking at your phone frequently, as this suggests you’re not all that interested in what they have to say. 

Ending on a positive note

If the date goes well, make sure to express how much you enjoyed spending time with them without going over the top. 

A simple “I had a great time today. Let’s do this again soon” should suffice. 

If you’re interested in a second date, it’s also a good idea to follow up within a day or two with a message reiterating what a nice time you had. This will increase your chances of getting a second date in the diary. 

Are you ready to put yourself out there?

Making a lasting impression from the first message to the first date involves authenticity, confidence and effort.

Of course, you have to meet that special someone and exchange numbers first. So, if you’re looking for love and genuine connection this year, get in touch with our team of talented matchmakers today and you could be arranging your first date in no time.

The term intimacy typically conjures up images of grand romantic gestures and impulsive, passionate moments. 

And while these might be the moments that get our hearts racing, it is the more subtle yet profound interactions that are most important for building a strong relationship. 

These often small and simple gestures are referred to as ‘quiet intimacy’. 

But what is quiet intimacy, and how can the power of simplicity help you to build a long-lasting relationship? 

What is quiet intimacy?

Quiet intimacy refers to the understated, everyday moments that foster deeper, more meaningful connections between partners.

These are the moments that anchor relationships, that make them feel familiar, secure and deeply personal, and they can come from anywhere. 

It could be something as small as your daily interactions: hugs before going off to work, holding hands while out on a walk, finding comfort in shared silences and everything in between. 

How these understated gestures can strengthen relationships

These actions, though seemingly insignificant at the time, can play a crucial role in building and maintaining emotional closeness and a long-term relationship.

They communicate affection and appreciation without the need for words. They also demonstrate thoughtfulness and a deep awareness of your partner’s needs and personality. 

Over time, these small acts accumulate to strengthen the foundation of your relationship.

Ways you can practice quiet intimacy with a partner

There are lots of ways you and your partner can practise quiet intimacy, many of which you might already do without really noticing. 

But, if you’re proactively trying to strengthen your relationship or you’ve recently started dating and you’re still building your foundations, here is how to cultivate a deeper connection. 

Routine gestures 

It is the smallest gestures that can make the biggest impact. Be sure to offer little acts of kindness like preparing your partner’s favourite meal or leaving a note to say how much you love them. 

Then there are acts of service, such as taking on your partner’s chores without being asked. 

It’s important to regularly acknowledge and thank your partner for the little things they do for you, reinforcing feelings of love and gratitude in your relationship.

Non-verbal communication 

They say actions speak louder than words, and that’s certainly true for quiet intimacy. Non-verbal communication becomes easier over time, though this is something that can also fade if you’re not careful. 

So, when your partner speaks, make sure to give them your full attention. This shows respect and validates their feelings. It’s also important to be expressive, giving them knowing glances and smiling so that you both feel connected. 

What’s more, simple physical touches, like a gentle squeeze of the hand, can be hugely reassuring and can convey affection and support without having to say a word. 

Spend quality time 

We live in an always-on culture, and it can be all too easy to get lost in our phones or the TV, but it’s important to set aside time to be present and free from distractions and technology. This uninterrupted time reinforces your bond.

It’s also important to engage in shared hobbies, whether that’s walking the dog, playing sports, going out with friends or playing games at home. It doesn’t really matter what you do; it’s just about making time for one another in your daily life. 

Moments of silence and reflection 

Finally, every now and then, it’s important to just pause and be mindful and present in the moment with your partner, appreciating the time you share together. 

Shared silences count for so much. Spending time together without the need for constant conversation shows a strong bond. Whether it’s reading in the same room or enjoying a quiet meal, these moments can foster a deeper sense of connection.

Embracing these little gestures and quiet moments 

It is these small gestures that form the bedrock of a strong and fulfilling relationship.

But while it might seem effortless and easy enough to achieve, quiet intimacy still requires awareness and work. If these little moments begin to disappear, this can have a much bigger impact on your relationship. 

So, by making a conscious effort to share quiet moments, offer acts of kindness and spend quality time together, couples can embrace quiet intimacy and thrive on those beautiful everyday moments. 

If you’re on the lookout for a meaningful relationship and someone you can build a genuine connection with, our expert matchmakers can help. Get in touch today, and you can begin to meet like-minded individuals to share those simple, quiet moments.

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and whether you’re in a long-term relationship or have just started dating, this can provide you with the perfect excuse for romance. 

The tricky part is deciding what to do, especially if you’re celebrating a milestone like your first Valentine’s Day together. 

From classic and romantic date ideas to unique experiences and adventurous days out, there are so many wonderful ways you can spend your day. 

So let us help you out, here are seven ideas for great dates to make this Valentine’s Day memorable, and not cringey!

1. Take a cookery class together 

If you’re passionate about food and looking for a unique way to spend the evening, a couples cookery class can be fun while also boosting your culinary skills. 

From pasta and curries to sushi and desserts, there are so many great courses to choose from; all you need to do is do a little research and find the right class for you and your date. 

2. Book a weekend getaway 

This year, Valentine’s Day falls on a Friday, making this the perfect way to start the weekend.  

So, for even more quality time together, you could plan an entire weekend getaway, whether that’s a road trip, city break or couple’s spa weekend. Alternatively, you could book yourself a cosy cottage or boutique hotel, somewhere with a hot tub, great views or a roaring fire to ramp up the romance. 

3. Plan a fancy dinner date

If you’d rather keep it classic, why not book yourself a table at your favourite restaurant? 

Ideally, somewhere with a nice, cosy ambience and great food. This will give you the chance to dress up and wine and dine each other. 

Or, if you want something more intimate, you could cook a gourmet dinner at home and create your own romantic ambience with candles and music. If your cookery skills are lacking, well, then there’s always your favourite local takeaway to the rescue! 

4. Go for a romantic walk (or hike if you’re feeling energetic) 

Let’s face it, the weather isn’t always great at this time of year, but if you get a crisp and sunny day, it can be so nice to get out in the fresh air. 

Whether you choose to walk around the local park, explore the city or head to the nearest beach, a romantic walk is a nice way to spend time together, talking and strengthening your connection. 

If you fancy something more active and energetic, gear up and go hiking, where you can explore a scenic trail or mountain path. You could even take a flask of coffee to enjoy when you reach your destination. 

5. Embrace the arts 

If you’re a lover of the arts, Valentine’s Day is a great reason to book tickets to the theatre, opera, movies, or even visit an art gallery if that’s your style. 

A quick online search will reveal which performances or exhibitions are currently taking place in your local area. 

6. Grab a coffee 

Who doesn’t love a cosy coffee date? And if you’re both coffee aficionado’s – even better. 

You could choose from a pit stop at your local cafe, a cosy pub lunch, or even just grab a takeaway cup while you’re out on a stroll; coffee is perfect for pretty much every occasion.

This can be a great date idea if you’re both short on time or if you’re still in the early stages of dating and you’re planning something more casual for your first Valentine’s Day together. 

7. Choose a cosy night in

The final suggestion on our list is ideal if you fancy a quiet night in or you are hoping to avoid the Valentine’s Day crowds. 

Sometimes, a date night at home is best. You can wear comfortable clothes, enjoy a movie marathon, or binge-watch your favourite TV series from the comfort of your sofa. 

But don’t treat this like any other evening; you can make it feel a little more special with candles, your favourite foods, perhaps a cheeseboard and wine or your go-to cinema snacks. 

What are you planning this Valentine’s Day? 

Whether it’s a fun day out or a relaxed night in, there are so many great ways you can spend your Valentine’s Day and enjoy some much-needed quality time together. 

If you’re still relatively new to the dating scene or you’re ready to find the perfect partner to spend next Valentine’s Day with, we can help. Get in touch with our talented team of matchmakers today for more expert dating advice and support on your dating journey.