How to deal with dating burnout

There’s no doubt that these days we are all extremely busy people. If your phone isn’t constantly pinging with messages and emails, it’s probably out of battery. From the latest news on your family WhatsApp group and appointment reminders from your local hairdresser, to work emails and updates from your dog walker, there’s a lot to take in on a daily basis.

If you add an online app-based approach to dating into the mix, well, life can get even more frantic. Online dating apps are designed to make it easy to connect quickly with lots of people at the swipe of a screen. While this may seem like a benefit if you’re looking to meet somebody new, it can inadvertently turn out to be quite stress-inducing if you get too swept up in it all. There is the temptation to think that the person of your dreams is there, somewhere, buried in those countless online profiles, so all you need to do is keep up the momentum – and the swiping – to find them. But a quick five-minute search can turn into hours assessing person after person. Suddenly that relaxed night on the sofa, with a well-earned glass of wine after a long week, turns from a chilled box set marathon to your hands creeping to the phone for just a quick look. Before you know it, it’s the early hours.

If a search for love is starting to feel quite labour intensive and you’re getting increasingly exhausted with it all, it can be a sign that you are panic dating and at risk of dating burnout. But it’s not just having so much choice at your fingertips that can lead to getting carried away – the temptation to panic date can come from an array of different sources.

Perhaps it’s a reluctance to say no to a date if you’re invited on one. A lot of singletons can feel the pressure to be out there constantly and worry that by pressing pause on their dating journey for even a short while, it can mean they’ll miss out. If you’re constantly focusing on the next date, or rushing to another meeting that very same evening, be sure this approach works for you as it’s easy to feel burned out if you’re already juggling a hectic schedule. It’s tempting to agree to numerous dates on your quest to find the perfect partner but remember – dating is meant to be fun. If it’s starting to feel like a chore, or you’ve got zero motivation to get out there, it’s a sign you need to reassess your approach to dating.

You may also be feeling subtle pressure from your friendship group to get coupled up, especially if a steady stream of engagement announcements and wedding invites are coming your way. It can be hard when your single friends dwindle, especially if you are finding it hard to feel 100% content with the freedom of singledom.

You may even be toying with the temptation to think about rekindling with an ex. This may come as a result of feeling like everybody else is coupling up, but if there were good reasons behind the decision to call it a day, it’s probably not a good idea to try and pick up where you left off.

If all this sounds familiar, then don’t despair. There are a few simple tricks and techniques to solve a frantic approach to dating.

Firstly, contrary to popular belief it can be helpful to take a step away from dating and take some time for yourself, providing plenty of time for reflection about what’s not working and the changes you need to make. Self-care is important to ensure you’re looking after number one, and taking a break for even a short while can mean you return to dating feeling energised and confident. It’ll also provide some valuable balance and help you focus on other parts of your life that make you happy.

A break from dating can be the perfect time to concentrate on what you really want from a partner and a relationship. Try not to sweat how long the break is – you won’t be missing out if you really invest the time in ensuring dating is fun again once you’re really ready to get back out there. You can then return to a more purposeful dating journey, being more selective with the time you dedicate to dating, focusing more on who you meet and the types of dates you’ll really enjoy. Don’t waste time on a date if you’ve got a gut feeling they’re not right for you – there’s plenty more fish in the sea and you’ll have a lot more fun if you see the romance potential shining through their profile.

Working with a matchmaker also can really help you take a step back and assess what you want from a relationship. When you feel ready to take your first steps back into the dating world, they’ll be on-hand to introduce you to hand-selected introductions who truly align with your goals, aspirations, and life values. There’s no need to stress about meeting somebody new, as your matchmaker will take all the hard work out of your search for somebody who you’ll really click with.

So, if you’re getting the feeling your dating journey is not quite working for you at the moment, remember it can pay to take a step back and have a good look at what you really want. And when you’re ready to date again, it’ll be all the more fun and enjoyable!   

If you’re looking for help in pursuing a more purposeful and enjoyable dating journey, why not give our team of expert matchmakers a call? They are on-hand to share their expertise and work with you to really understand your relationship goals. Get in touch today!


How to nail a second date

You’ve been talking to someone for a while, met them for the first time for a date and had a good time – now the hardest part is out the way. Firstly – congratulations! A successful first date is super exciting, and by now you’re probably feeling relieved it went well and full of anticipation for what comes next.

If you both felt a connection the first time you met, it’s time to nail down date number two. The stakes may feel considerably higher now there’s mutual interest, but the good news is this is where you can really start to get to know each other and suss out if there is the potential for something more.

Even if the first date didn’t sweep you off your feet, plenty of singles find it worth meeting up for a second date to see if the person has relationship potential. Nearly half of people surveyed about second dates believe a first date that was okay but nothing worth shouting home about, can have the potential to grow on them. Something which is particularly true if a serious relationship is on the cards. Nearly three-quarters of singles said they are more likely to give a date a second chance when they are actively looking for a committed relationship.

Regardless of your expectations for a subsequent date, it’s fair to say it can be a lot more relaxed the second time around. A separate study found that almost two-thirds of single men and women are more excited by a second date than the first. First dates can be nerve-wracking and may feel a bit stilted as you work your way through the pleasantries. You may have felt it hard to let your guard down and let your real personality and character shine through. By the time your second rendezvous arrives, the pre-meeting jitters may have soothed, especially now there’s some shared ground, putting less pressure on the getting-to-know-you small talk and allowing you both to be yourselves. 

But what should you be aware of to ensure a smooth follow-up to a promising first date with somebody who seems worth investing the time to get to know better? When you think about it, that first date monopolises a lot of the limelight. So much attention is paid to making sure you follow recommended tricks and tips for nailing this all-important first meeting, so you’ll successfully make enough of an impression to land date number two. But once it’s in the diary, you can feel a bit cast adrift about what comes next!

We’ve shared our top tips for how to ace a second date to put you successfully on the path to date three and beyond.

Firstly, relax: Part of the reason first dates are so nerve-racking is there is no shared ground. You have no idea if you’ll like the person, or if they will be into you. If you’ve both agreed to meet again, chances are both of you see enough potential in the first meeting to get to know each other better. It’s easier to keep the conversation flowing when you’ve learned a bit more about each other and you can demonstrate what an amazing listener you are by following up on the things you discussed the first time around. Remember it takes a while to build a relationship and get to know somebody properly – this is exactly what you’re doing here. You’ve moved things along from the initial meeting, so now it’s time to enjoy the getting-to-know each other stage.

Find out more about each other: The joy of date number two is you can really delve deeper and learn a lot more about each other. Okay, you don’t need to get too deep here – grilling somebody about their exes is still firmly off the table. However, this is a lovely time to find out more, whether it’s about their childhood, career plans, family, or background. It may be discovering that they backpacked around Europe while at university, or about the time they broke their elbow falling out of a tree at school – it’s all about knitting together a picture of who they are and feeling comfortable enough to share things with each other.

Mix it up a bit: Make sure you are not just repeating your first date, especially if it felt quite formal as you exchanged pleasantries over the dinner table. Get a fresh perspective by suggesting something the other will really enjoy based on what you’ve already learned about them. It’s easier for you both to show your fun and laid-back side by enjoying a shared activity, whether it’s a picnic in the park, taking in a museum exhibition, or enjoying a long sunset walk.

Show more affection if it feels right: If your first date was a quick get-to-know-you, chances are there was not much of an opportunity to get flirty and share physical affection. If it feels right this time around, you can take it a step forward as you begin to feel more comfortable with each other. Do judge how the other person feels about the intimacy increasing though, and don’t feel rushed into anything – there’s no set timeline for how intimate any date should be.

Work with a matchmaker: If you’re looking to take some of the mystery out of dating, then working with a matchmaker is an ideal way to help you reach that goal of a long-term, committed relationship. They can expertly guide and support you through every step of your dating journey, from that first phone call to the initial flurry of dates and into a relationship. A matchmaker is an expert in finding you likeminded and suitable matches who you will be truly excited to meet and get to know better. So, if you’re looking to take the hard work out of dating, know that with a matchmaker on your side you’re best placed to embark on a relaxed and successful search for love.

If it feels like the right time to try a new way of dating, why not give our team of expert matchmakers a call? Our friendly team are ready to find you the perfect match, offering plenty of help and advice along the way. 


How to let the real you shine through on dates

Do you ever feel like everybody is a little more chilled out than you when it comes to dating? That by letting yourself get tied up in knots with pre-date nerves, you are somehow unusual? Well, you’re not alone. It’s normal to experience first date nerves – from the gentlest of flutters as you arrive at the venue, to feeling overwhelmed by the idea of making small talk with someone you’ve never met before – the key is not letting it overpower the real you.

Unfortunately, with nerves comes the tendency to clam up and not be yourself. We’ve all heard numerous dating disaster anecdotes about the time somebody tripped/forgot their date’s name/had a tumbleweed moment with a poorly received joke (insert your own nerve-induced calamity here). Which, when you come to think about it, just serves to make you even more nervous as you prepare for your own first date.

Nerves aside though, there is also a danger you may inadvertently adapt your behaviour, subconsciously or not, to act in a way which you believe your date would want you to.

More than half of people surveyed in a recent study said they behave differently and less authentically to fit into perceived gender expectations about how they should act on a date. Women in particular, admitted that they are conscious of behaviours thought to be off-putting to men including appearing too clingy, being too forward or coming across as genuinely interested. The study found more than a third of women effectively dull their own shine to make their male dates feel more comfortable and powerful during the date.   

All this pressure can lead to putting on a façade during a first date – but by doing so your date is missing out on discovering your best side. While it can be very tricky to shed the nerves and the pre-conceived ideas of how you should be acting on a date, by relaxing and being yourself you can let the real you shine through. While there is a certain amount of formality which comes with first dates, putting your best foot forward and looking ahead to the future will be so much easier if you are being authentic.

We’ve shared our top tips for making sure your true character takes centre stage when you go on a first date so you can feel confident you are doing yourself justice – and your date gets to know the real, amazing you.

Manage your inner voice

We can all be our harshest critics but it’s important to pay attention to how your inner voice is treating you. Are you being overly critical of how you may be coming across on dates? Becoming hung up on how you look, or getting paranoid your small talk is sub-par? Then it’s time to talk yourself up, reminding yourself how awesome and worthy you really are. If you find this tough, then it can be handy to put little notes around at home reminding you of your positive traits, making sure they counter the negative thoughts you may have been experiencing.

Create an enjoyable pre-date ritual

It always pays to be prepared and it’s no different when it comes to dating. Find something that works for you that soothes your nerves, whether it’s meditation, cranking up your favourite feel-good playlist or just taking the time to visualise how the date might go, preparing yourself for all eventualities. Even making sure you know exactly where you are going and how you’ll get there minimises the risk of you arriving flustered and late. Whether it’s any of the above or simply a quick glass of wine before you leave or chatting with friends for some last-minute good luck vibes – whatever works to help you feel comfortable and relaxed pre-date will follow through into the actual event.

Be honest

Try to avoid the temptation to act like you’re more into your date’s hobbies and interests than you really are. It’s just trouble waiting to happen if you feign an interest in something you’re just not that into. Before you know it, you’ll find yourself on a second date involving a bungee jump or open water swimming in a freezing lake. Plus, there is the risk dating will turn into a relationship, and you’ll get found out down the line. Be totally upfront about your likes and dislikes to establish if you are compatible – and remember, there’s nothing wrong with having different interests. It can be just as interesting to find out more about their favourite hobby when you know nothing about it.  

Try an unusual date to show the real you

There can be a lot of pressure on face-to-face conservation, especially if you find it awkward to keep the small talk going with somebody you’ve never met before. Why not try a date that reflects something you’ll really enjoy? An activity-focused date can help show the real you and hopefully help you relax and enjoy the date. Remember, there are no rules when it comes to dating and when you are in your comfort zone, you’ll be happier. A quirky date also takes a lot of the pressure off keeping the conversation going as well, giving you plenty of other ways to suss each other out.

Work with a matchmaker

When you are nervous and unsure about dating, it can be a real asset to have somebody who’s got your back and offering you tons of support. That’s where our expert matchmakers come in. They are extremely experienced in finding hand-selected matches who’ll perfectly suit your personality and relationship goals, using a combination of Myer-Briggs personality profiling, intuition, and our extensive private network to find the perfect person for you. They’ll be on-hand to support you every step of your dating journey, ensuring a stress-free experience and a journey that will leave you feeling confident, energised and safe that leads to the goal of a committed, long-term relationship.

When it comes to first dates, you’re probably not going to learn everything about each other in the space of one evening. However, if you’ve both been authentic and upfront with each other and had a great time, chances are there’s mutual interest there. You’ve then got plenty of opportunity to enjoy learning more about each other on your second date, and beyond!

If you want to find out more about our award-winning matchmaking service, then get in touch with our friendly team today. Your dedicated matchmaker is ready and waiting to expertly help you embark on a successful search for love.


How your extraversion tendencies can increase your chances of love

Dating was made for those with extraversion traits right? All that socialising, putting yourself out there, meeting new people – it’s bound to come naturally to those of us who thrive on getting their energy from the people and things around them.

While it’s certainly fair to say that those with extraversion traits may have an advantage when it comes to dating, it’s worth understanding in more detail what an extraversion personality is, and more importantly what it can mean when it comes to your dates. Armed with this information, you can ensure you’re approaching your dating journey mindful of any potential pitfalls.

In a nutshell, extraversion means you draw your energy from time spent with other people and active involvement in a lot of different activities. Often described as friendly, outgoing, talkative, enthusiastic, gregarious and a people person, they tend to have a wide circle of friends, a multitude of different interests and enjoy meeting new people. While those with introversion tendencies crave solitude, extraversion personalities can feel uninspired and listless when they are alone for long stretches of time and would much prefer the company of others.

You can see why dating may seem a lot less daunting to those of us with an ‘E’ in our Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test score. There is also research to suggest that those with extraversion personalities outnumber introversions three to one, so you’re bound to encounter plenty of fellow extraversion souls as you embark on your search for the perfect partner. This is certainly good news if you tend to seek out somebody who is like you in both personality and character.

While extraversion certainly lends itself to enjoying dates without the trepidation, there are some tips which are worth bearing in mind if you are looking for love.

Remember, introversion personalities will have a totally different approach to dates

The big thing to remember is that while extraversion personalities may outnumber introversions, you may well find yourself dating somebody with a different personality type to you. As we touched on in last week’s blog, those with introversion personality traits can often find the whole process of socialising draining. It can take time for them to feel relaxed and confident enough to be themselves as you get to know them. If you’re dating someone with introversion tendencies, be mindful of these traits. Organise date venues they’ll appreciate – while you may enjoy a noisy, bustling venue, they won’t appreciate having to shout over loud music. Instead, stick to quieter settings which allow for meaningful conversations and the chance to really get to know each other.

It’s also worth remembering their need for space. While those with extraversion traits may be happy having a jam-packed schedule, an introversion person prefers time to decompress after socialising. Recognise that their reluctance to book in date number two before you’ve even reached the main course might not be a sign they are not into you, they simply may just need time to recharge before embarking on another meeting. Remember that differing personality types can be a great mix in a relationship – offering opportunities for one side to slow down and increase introspection, while on the other hand helping the other meet new people and try new experiences – so embrace it!

Keep an eye on that diary

As someone who enjoys the company of others, you thrive on packing your diary with plenty of social plans to look forward to. Your schedule was probably fairly busy before you even started dating, with plenty of catch-ups with friends, work events and fitness classes on the agenda. However, it can be awfully tempting to get carried away once you start dating, especially if you’ve gone down the route of countless conversations and dates via app-based online dating channels. Remember though, you’re only human and there are only so many hours in a day! Take your time getting to know each new person you meet and you’ll avoid dating burnout. On the flip side, your packed calendar can represent how you are quite at home leading your own life and will set the tone for plenty of independence in a new relationship.

Be prepared to slow things down

If you’re dating a fellow extraversion personality then you can risk a situation where things move too quickly. Your shared love of hitting the town every night, then talking into the early hours, is wonderful but could lead to overload and exhaustion if you’re not careful. It’s great that you’re having a good time but recognise there is no harm in slowing things down sometimes. It’ll just make the reunion even sweeter when it comes!

Remember, you’ve got lots to give

Dating nerves can hit anybody, no matter how sociable or independent they may be. If you are new to dating, or just a little uncertain, remember your extraversion traits stand you in good stead. Generally, those with extraversion personalities are great communicators, good at listening as well as talking, and adept at drawing people into meaningful conversations. Your love of learning about new people makes you fun to chat with, and you’re likely to feel engaged and invigorated by a wide range of different date types.

A matchmaker can help you find the perfect match

No matter how confident you are on your dating journey, you still need to find the right person to achieve the ultimate goal of that long-term, committed relationship. This is where our experienced matchmakers come in. Working hard on your behalf to find the perfect like-minded individual, we use Myers-Briggs personality profiling, intuition, our extensive private network, and plenty of expert experience to hand-select individuals who perfectly complement your personality and lifestyle.

So, while our matchmakers take the hard work out of finding that special person, you can start planning the perfect first date. And just think of the fun you can have once you’ve been introduced to that person you share perfect chemistry with!

If you are looking for that person who really shares your love of living life to the full, then give our team a call today. As an elite matchmaking consultancy, we’ve got the skills and experience to really understand what you are looking for in a partner and we’ll help you every step of the way. 


How your introversion tendencies can help with your dating game

Putting yourself out there on the dating scene has the potential to test the mettle of even the most confident among us. From approaching somebody you’re interested in, to battling those first pre-date jitters, there can be some serious pushing of your comfort zone when navigating your dating journey.

For those who have introversion traits though, dating poses a particular challenge as it may well represent the very opposite of what you feel comfortable doing. A night at home alone on the sofa in your pyjamas, or spending quality time with your nearest and dearest, may seem far preferable than meeting somebody new for a date.

Put broadly, introversion is a personality trait characterised by focusing more on inner feelings, ideas and images rather than external stimulation of the outer world. It’s hardly an unusual trait – in fact, it is estimated a third of the population have introversion tendencies.

The polar opposite to extraversion, the temperament of somebody with introversion tendencies can mean the whole process of socialising can become particularly draining. People who score an ‘Introversion’ preference on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator may prefer spending time alone or with one or two people they feel comfortable with, rather than in large crowds, and as a result they often need time to recharge after being sociable. While people with extraversion tendencies seek to spend time with other people to recharge their batteries, seen as reflective or reserved, those with introversion traits prefer to avoid environments that are overstimulating. Those among us with introversion tendencies like getting their energy from dealing with the ideas, pictures, memories and reactions inside their own minds and can come across as quiet, as they don’t feel the need to be the centre of attention.

If this sounds like you, you’ll know what we’re talking about when it comes to dating. While having introversion traits doesn’t automatically mean you are shy or reclusive, dating can feel like enough of a performance to risk making you want to freeze up. Don’t despair though – there are a few simple pointers which can help ease you into a date you will actually enjoy, rather than endure.

Remember, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having introversion tendencies

People with introversion tendencies make great listeners, are very observant and can be very easy to talk to. Be reassured you’ve got lots to give, and you’ll make a great conversation partner when you feel relaxed on a date. With this in mind, make sure that first date venue suits you. If a tête-à-tête in a quiet location works for you, then it will help demonstrate to your potential partner your curious and insightful nature.

But if this sounds a bit intimidating, why not try a date based around a shared activity such as a movie or a live performance, to provide you with plenty of conversation starters afterwards? The common interest will allow you to showcase your ability to master the art between starting a conversation and actively listening to their responses, a sought-after trait in partners for most single people.

That said, it’s good to prepare

If the thought of the conversation running dry makes your blood run cold, then it’s well worth having a few topics up your sleeve before you meet. It’s likely you will have been in touch in advance to get an idea of your date’s likes and dislikes, plus you can come armed with some more conversational gold gleaned from their dating profile. Be prepared with interesting questions that’ll lead to engaging discussions that you’ll genuinely enjoy. And don’t forget, open questions can help keep the chat flowing much more than closed questions.

Make sure your outfit does not make you self-conscious

While most of us will often consider buying a new date ensemble once the event is in the diary, now is not the time for selecting an outfit just because you think the other person would like it or dressing up to the nines if your signature style is more jeans and a comfy jumper. Pick something which you feel comfortable and relaxed in and you’ll feel a lot more confident and spend less time doubting your choice and instead focus more on the conversation and situation at hand.

And remember, don’t pretend to be something you’re not

Avoid falling into the trap of doing what you think you should be doing on a date. If you try and pretend you’re something you’re not, or agree to a date which really isn’t your cup of tea, you’ll could end up having a rubbish time and more than likely your body language is likely to give it away to your date. Be honest about what you like doing and if you’ve both agreed to meet after reading each other’s profiles, it is likely that somewhere in there is some common ground that you can work with.

Work with a matchmaker

Sometimes it helps to have someone to help guide and support you through your dating journey, particularly if it’s outside of your comfort zone. Here at Ignite Dating, we specialise in hand-selected introductions, using our vast experience, extensive network and intuitive personality profiling to find you the perfect match. We’re here to help improve your confidence and take all the hard work out of dating, so you can just sit back, relax and enjoy the journey.

There’s no need to stress about the search for a potential partner, as we’ll help you find the right person by bringing hand-selected potential matches to you. We’ll work closely with you to decide what is important to you and the type of person you’d like to meet and when you feel ready to meet somebody new, we’ll be there every step of the way. We can assist with all those crucial first-date preparations and suggest tactics and strategies for embarking on a first meeting you’ll truly enjoy. With a matchmaker in your corner, you can sit back, relax and know that an expert is working hard on your behalf to find you true love.

We’re here to find you the perfect partner who truly understands you and shares your values, aspirations and lifestyle. Get in touch today and our team of friendly matchmakers will confidently guide you through every step of your dating journey.