How to nail a second date

You’ve been talking to someone for a while, met them for the first time for a date and had a good time – now the hardest part is out the way. Firstly – congratulations! A successful first date is super exciting, and by now you’re probably feeling relieved it went well and full of anticipation for what comes next.

If you both felt a connection the first time you met, it’s time to nail down date number two. The stakes may feel considerably higher now there’s mutual interest, but the good news is this is where you can really start to get to know each other and suss out if there is the potential for something more.

Even if the first date didn’t sweep you off your feet, plenty of singles find it worth meeting up for a second date to see if the person has relationship potential. Nearly half of people surveyed about second dates believe a first date that was okay but nothing worth shouting home about, can have the potential to grow on them. Something which is particularly true if a serious relationship is on the cards. Nearly three-quarters of singles said they are more likely to give a date a second chance when they are actively looking for a committed relationship.

Regardless of your expectations for a subsequent date, it’s fair to say it can be a lot more relaxed the second time around. A separate study found that almost two-thirds of single men and women are more excited by a second date than the first. First dates can be nerve-wracking and may feel a bit stilted as you work your way through the pleasantries. You may have felt it hard to let your guard down and let your real personality and character shine through. By the time your second rendezvous arrives, the pre-meeting jitters may have soothed, especially now there’s some shared ground, putting less pressure on the getting-to-know-you small talk and allowing you both to be yourselves. 

But what should you be aware of to ensure a smooth follow-up to a promising first date with somebody who seems worth investing the time to get to know better? When you think about it, that first date monopolises a lot of the limelight. So much attention is paid to making sure you follow recommended tricks and tips for nailing this all-important first meeting, so you’ll successfully make enough of an impression to land date number two. But once it’s in the diary, you can feel a bit cast adrift about what comes next!

We’ve shared our top tips for how to ace a second date to put you successfully on the path to date three and beyond.

Firstly, relax: Part of the reason first dates are so nerve-racking is there is no shared ground. You have no idea if you’ll like the person, or if they will be into you. If you’ve both agreed to meet again, chances are both of you see enough potential in the first meeting to get to know each other better. It’s easier to keep the conversation flowing when you’ve learned a bit more about each other and you can demonstrate what an amazing listener you are by following up on the things you discussed the first time around. Remember it takes a while to build a relationship and get to know somebody properly – this is exactly what you’re doing here. You’ve moved things along from the initial meeting, so now it’s time to enjoy the getting-to-know each other stage.

Find out more about each other: The joy of date number two is you can really delve deeper and learn a lot more about each other. Okay, you don’t need to get too deep here – grilling somebody about their exes is still firmly off the table. However, this is a lovely time to find out more, whether it’s about their childhood, career plans, family, or background. It may be discovering that they backpacked around Europe while at university, or about the time they broke their elbow falling out of a tree at school – it’s all about knitting together a picture of who they are and feeling comfortable enough to share things with each other.

Mix it up a bit: Make sure you are not just repeating your first date, especially if it felt quite formal as you exchanged pleasantries over the dinner table. Get a fresh perspective by suggesting something the other will really enjoy based on what you’ve already learned about them. It’s easier for you both to show your fun and laid-back side by enjoying a shared activity, whether it’s a picnic in the park, taking in a museum exhibition, or enjoying a long sunset walk.

Show more affection if it feels right: If your first date was a quick get-to-know-you, chances are there was not much of an opportunity to get flirty and share physical affection. If it feels right this time around, you can take it a step forward as you begin to feel more comfortable with each other. Do judge how the other person feels about the intimacy increasing though, and don’t feel rushed into anything – there’s no set timeline for how intimate any date should be.

Work with a matchmaker: If you’re looking to take some of the mystery out of dating, then working with a matchmaker is an ideal way to help you reach that goal of a long-term, committed relationship. They can expertly guide and support you through every step of your dating journey, from that first phone call to the initial flurry of dates and into a relationship. A matchmaker is an expert in finding you likeminded and suitable matches who you will be truly excited to meet and get to know better. So, if you’re looking to take the hard work out of dating, know that with a matchmaker on your side you’re best placed to embark on a relaxed and successful search for love.

If it feels like the right time to try a new way of dating, why not give our team of expert matchmakers a call? Our friendly team are ready to find you the perfect match, offering plenty of help and advice along the way. 

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