How to deal with dating burnout

There’s no doubt that these days we are all extremely busy people. If your phone isn’t constantly pinging with messages and emails, it’s probably out of battery. From the latest news on your family WhatsApp group and appointment reminders from your local hairdresser, to work emails and updates from your dog walker, there’s a lot to take in on a daily basis.

If you add an online app-based approach to dating into the mix, well, life can get even more frantic. Online dating apps are designed to make it easy to connect quickly with lots of people at the swipe of a screen. While this may seem like a benefit if you’re looking to meet somebody new, it can inadvertently turn out to be quite stress-inducing if you get too swept up in it all. There is the temptation to think that the person of your dreams is there, somewhere, buried in those countless online profiles, so all you need to do is keep up the momentum – and the swiping – to find them. But a quick five-minute search can turn into hours assessing person after person. Suddenly that relaxed night on the sofa, with a well-earned glass of wine after a long week, turns from a chilled box set marathon to your hands creeping to the phone for just a quick look. Before you know it, it’s the early hours.

If a search for love is starting to feel quite labour intensive and you’re getting increasingly exhausted with it all, it can be a sign that you are panic dating and at risk of dating burnout. But it’s not just having so much choice at your fingertips that can lead to getting carried away – the temptation to panic date can come from an array of different sources.

Perhaps it’s a reluctance to say no to a date if you’re invited on one. A lot of singletons can feel the pressure to be out there constantly and worry that by pressing pause on their dating journey for even a short while, it can mean they’ll miss out. If you’re constantly focusing on the next date, or rushing to another meeting that very same evening, be sure this approach works for you as it’s easy to feel burned out if you’re already juggling a hectic schedule. It’s tempting to agree to numerous dates on your quest to find the perfect partner but remember – dating is meant to be fun. If it’s starting to feel like a chore, or you’ve got zero motivation to get out there, it’s a sign you need to reassess your approach to dating.

You may also be feeling subtle pressure from your friendship group to get coupled up, especially if a steady stream of engagement announcements and wedding invites are coming your way. It can be hard when your single friends dwindle, especially if you are finding it hard to feel 100% content with the freedom of singledom.

You may even be toying with the temptation to think about rekindling with an ex. This may come as a result of feeling like everybody else is coupling up, but if there were good reasons behind the decision to call it a day, it’s probably not a good idea to try and pick up where you left off.

If all this sounds familiar, then don’t despair. There are a few simple tricks and techniques to solve a frantic approach to dating.

Firstly, contrary to popular belief it can be helpful to take a step away from dating and take some time for yourself, providing plenty of time for reflection about what’s not working and the changes you need to make. Self-care is important to ensure you’re looking after number one, and taking a break for even a short while can mean you return to dating feeling energised and confident. It’ll also provide some valuable balance and help you focus on other parts of your life that make you happy.

A break from dating can be the perfect time to concentrate on what you really want from a partner and a relationship. Try not to sweat how long the break is – you won’t be missing out if you really invest the time in ensuring dating is fun again once you’re really ready to get back out there. You can then return to a more purposeful dating journey, being more selective with the time you dedicate to dating, focusing more on who you meet and the types of dates you’ll really enjoy. Don’t waste time on a date if you’ve got a gut feeling they’re not right for you – there’s plenty more fish in the sea and you’ll have a lot more fun if you see the romance potential shining through their profile.

Working with a matchmaker also can really help you take a step back and assess what you want from a relationship. When you feel ready to take your first steps back into the dating world, they’ll be on-hand to introduce you to hand-selected introductions who truly align with your goals, aspirations, and life values. There’s no need to stress about meeting somebody new, as your matchmaker will take all the hard work out of your search for somebody who you’ll really click with.

So, if you’re getting the feeling your dating journey is not quite working for you at the moment, remember it can pay to take a step back and have a good look at what you really want. And when you’re ready to date again, it’ll be all the more fun and enjoyable!   

If you’re looking for help in pursuing a more purposeful and enjoyable dating journey, why not give our team of expert matchmakers a call? They are on-hand to share their expertise and work with you to really understand your relationship goals. Get in touch today!