Why marriage after online dating could spell divorce

When it comes to the search for true love, everyone dreams of that happily ever after. Whether you meet online, through friends or enlist the help of a matchmaking agency, a life-long partner who shares your values, aspirations and lifestyle is the ultimate goal. But is there a way to help determine the long-term success of the relationship before it starts?

The honest answer is no. After all, every person is different with their own unique experiences, traits, attachment styles and outlooks. However, statistically speaking the way that you meet your partner could shine a little light on the long-term success of the relationship.  

Algorithms don’t always equal success

When online dating was the new kid on the block, there was a huge flurry of success stories. From friends to colleagues and even parents, everyone seemed to be meeting online and finding success. But fast forward to today and the number of successes seem to be dwindling, replaced with stories of scams and nightmare dates.

When you’re looking for a long-term partner, someone you can share a genuine connection with, dating apps can be a real let down. Using sparse databases, loosely fitting criteria and vague algorithms to help you find your match, online dating takes the human element out of the matching process and reinforces the need for luck. And lots of it!

And that’s not all. A recent study by the Marriage Foundation found that couples who met and started a relationship through an online dating app or website are six times more likely to get divorced in the first three years of marriage than those who met more organically through people they know and trust.

Once the shock of the statistic sinks in and you really think about it, it’s understandable why this might be the case.

From complete strangers to relative strangers

Often when couples meet online, they are doing so as complete strangers. They have no mutual friends and no shared experiences, making the gathering of reliable information about the long-term character of the person you are dating or marrying quite difficult. Add to this the fact that the wider social connections between families and friends must form from scratch, compared to those that have been established for years and even decades in some cases, and you are already at a disadvantage and at risk of making a hasty mistake.

It takes approximately two years minimum to really get to know someone. The first year, the relationship is new. You both work hard on continuing to impress each other and showcase why you are a good match and the idea of what the relationship could be like in the future.

Then, as time goes by and you spend more time together, their traits and behaviours will start to show more. When you get closer to the second year, you’ll notice patterns occurring in their behaviour, little quirks that at first seemed quite small but over time seem to grow bigger and bigger. This is usually when you hit the fight or flight period in the relationship.

It is during this stage that you evaluate your relationship. You will reflect on their character traits and determine whether they are small enough for you to accept and move forward into the next phase of the relationship or whether it is time to pull the plug.

Unfortunately, according to the statistics a large portion of those opt for the latter.

Can you increase your chances of happily ever after?

With everything in life, there are no certainties. No agency or dating app can guarantee that you will find love and live happily ever after but there are ways to increase your chances.

If finding someone organically through your family, friendship or social circles is a no go, turning to an elite matchmaking agency may be a much more effective way to find true love. From the moment that you join, an expert matchmaker will guide you through every step of your journey. They will spend time getting to know who you are and what is important to you in a partner before writing your profile and searching for that special person.  

Unlike database matching agencies and online apps, they don’t rely on algorithms to find the perfect match. Instead, they use intuition, expertise and that all important human touch to find a life partner that shares the same values, aspirations and lifestyle as you. By taking the time to understand what you are looking for and ensuring that you have the necessary support around you to embark on your dating journey, you are more likely to achieve that ultimate goal of a long-term committed relationship.

If you are single and looking for a more effective way to date, then get in touch with our friendly team of expert matchmakers who are ready to help you take that first step to success today.


A partner is for life, not just for Christmas

Every year it happens. The seasons change, the nights get colder and darker and single people everywhere start that hunt to settle down. Just like our furry counterparts, Autumn brings with it a sense of urgency to find comfort and solace in hibernating with someone else rather than going it alone.

As Summer draws to a close, single people worldwide trade in their swimsuits, sangria and single life for cuddles on the sofa and exchanging Christmas presents with their families. For anyone that’s had to endure that pitiful look from your relatives as you turn up for another holiday alone, it’s easy to see the attraction of ‘cuffing up’ for Winter.

But, despite the growing number of single people that aim to settle down just for cuffing season, it’s important to remember that a partner is for life not just for Christmas.

Long-term commitment is this season’s must-have accessory

While settling down may be something stereotypically expected of those over the age of 40, it seems the younger generation are getting in on the action too with over half of them seriously looking for that long-term commitment over casual dating or seeing where it goes this season.

Whether the change of heart comes from re-evaluation of what’s important after almost two years of broken dating (or non-existent in some cases) during the pandemic or the simple fact that life is too short to not go after what you want, it seems long-term commitment is this season’s must-have accessory.

So, if you’re single and considering the option of ‘cuffing up’ for Winter, here’s three reasons why you should ditch the trend and focus on that long-term commitment sooner rather than later. 

Playing the long game has paved the way for dating success

If the pandemic has taught us anything, it taught us to slow down and really appreciate the little things in life. From those long telephone conversations or FaceTime calls to the leisurely strolls around the park, for the last couple of years we have taken the time to really get to know potential partners and discover whether they are right for us.

The result? Stronger and longer-lasting relationships. So, ignore the hype and the rush to settle down for fear of being alone, and instead focus on developing those relationships and nurturing them and no doubt you will have a solid foundation for a long-term, successful relationship that is sure to outlive the colder months.

Work smarter, not harder

If you’ve ever experienced dating burnout, you’ll understand how draining it can be to waste time making mundane conversation with people that just aren’t right for you. So why do we do it? While there is some truth in the fact that dating is a numbers game and the more people you meet, the more likely you are to find the one. You also need to be searching in the right places.

If the dating app or avenue you’re using doesn’t have the right type of person, it doesn’t matter how many people you meet, you’re never going to find the one – as soon as the weather starts warming and you’ll be saying goodbye to your winter romance. Instead of wasting your time, scrolling through unsuitable matches to the point of burnout think about what is important to you in a partner. If you work backwards from the vision of your ideal partner, you’ll be able to identify the best channel for you to find them and give your dating journey a renewed focus that is more aligned to what you are really looking for and that goal of a long-term, committed relationship.

Time doesn’t stand still for no-one

While that familiar ticking of the biological clock is not as urgent as it used to be – thanks in no small part to the amazing developments in science that we now have – time doesn’t just stop and the longer you leave it to find that person, the less time you have to spend with them and achieve all that you have planned for your future.

Given the choice, would you rather spend your time with someone that could shape up to be your happily ever after or someone who is realistically only going to be around for a few months at most, leaving you to restart your search when the warmer months roll round and increasing your chances of déjà vu when cuffing season comes back around in 2022?

Time is going to pass by anyway, so instead of wasting it looking for happiness in all the wrong places, give your dating journey the devotion it deserves now and we’re sure you’ll reap the rewards in the not-so-distant future.

If you’re single and fed up of putting your energy into relationships that have no real future, get in touch with our friendly team of expert matchmakers who are on hand to help you find a partner for life, not just for Christmas.


Dating by design: why matchmaking isn’t just for the over 40s

It’s a myth, universally accepted that matchmaking is for the over 40s. But contrary to belief, the younger generation are now taking their love lives into their own hands and turning to matchmakers to find their life partner.

Gone are the days when your twenties and thirties were all about having fun and living frivolously, while there are some that still live by this approach, an increasing number of young people are calling quits on the timewasters and non-committal hook-ups available through online dating apps.

Whether it is the evaluation and realisation brought about by the pandemic or simply growing tired of the labour-intensive scrolling and small talk on apps, singletons in their late twenties and thirties are placing a higher importance on finding that one and settling down.

And it’s not really that surprising when you investigate it in more detail.

Think about it, if you’re a woman in your mid to late twenties and are wanting children, a year and a half taken out of your life plan can be quite a significant amount of time. While evidence has shown that women are perfectly capable of having children into their forties, it still seems that the ticking of that biological clock is pushing people to find those matches sooner rather than later – or even forcing their hand on preserving their fertility, through embryo freezing.

But it’s not just biology. In the not so distant past when you were asked about what you wanted to do in the future, your twenties and thirties usually consisted of a flurry of short-term jobs and gap years, as you discover yourself and what you really want to do with your life.

However, now in the advent of the university generation, people are starting to get serious about their careers early on. From the moment they leave university, they have a career path in mind and have already made those first steps towards making it happen.

And the same can be said for those who prefer the school of life route. These days everywhere you look there seems to be young entrepreneurs building and growing their own businesses. Whether they’re launching their own independent business or investing in a franchise, professional success is high on people’s agendas from a younger age so, by the time they hit their late twenties and early thirties they’re already on their way to success in their professional lives and looking for that same success in their personal lives.

So, how can a matchmaker help if you’re under 40?

Dating in your twenties and thirties, is full of possibilities. By this stage, you may have already concluded what you are looking for in your dream partner – or at the very least worked out exactly what you don’t want. But if you haven’t that’s ok, as your very own dedicated matchmaker will work with you to identify the things that are important to you. 

By working with a matchmaker, they take the hard work out of dating for you so you can focus on the other areas of your life that matter. They will do all the groundwork to get to know who you are and what you are looking for, before searching for that person through a whole array of avenues.

Another huge benefit of using a matchmaker is that they will run ID checks. Sadly, apps like Tinder have become a prime location for fraudulent accounts and cybercriminals looking to scam the unsuspecting and vulnerable. Not only this but with no ID checks, people can be whoever they want to be – even if that means they tell some big lies in the process.

At Ignite Dating we run ID checks and check everyone’s digital footprint to make sure every individual you meet is legitimate and is who they say they are. This gives you an increased sense of security and means you aren’t going to be disappointed by meeting someone who isn’t as expected.

They also offer advice and guidance to support you every step of your dating journey, from that first phone call through to that first date and into the relationship, taking away the mystery and the ghosting and instead providing you with a dating environment that will leave you feeling safe, confident and energised.

If you’re in your late twenties or thirties and have grown tired of the online apps and looking for a more prescriptive way to date, then get in touch with our friendly team today. With their expert help and guidance, they can support you on your quest to find that long-term committed relationship you’re looking for.


Are you guilty of dating for the cuffing season?

With the clocks going back this weekend and the nights drawing in, cuffing season is well and truly upon us. It’s a well-known fact that when the colder months set in, we automatically look for comfort – from home cooked stews and casseroles to cosy nights in – and if you’re single, that search for comfort may lead you into the arms of a partner, but for all the wrong reasons.

Cuffing refers to the idea of getting ‘handcuffed’ or tied down to one partner during the colder months, even if usually an exclusive relationship is not on their cards. While there is the possibility that your autumnal date will go the distance, if you or your potential partner are only dating to fill the void, when the warmer months roll around it is likely to spell the end of your brief romance.

So, how can you tell if your new relationship is real or just for the season?

As with any dating scenario, there are signs to look out for to help you determine whether you’ve been ‘cuffed’, for example:

  • Any future plans do not extend beyond the winter months
  • You are contacted out of the blue in the run up to the holiday season and this is followed up by a sense of urgency to make it official
  • Dates are rare or even non-existent and they seem to prefer to spend time cosied up at home, just the two of you
  • The person is emotionally unavailable, lacking in deeper conversations or desire for emotional connection
  • Their dating record is full of short relationships that only last during the winter months

How do you avoid falling into the trap of cuffing season?

Communication is key

Too often when it comes to relationships, one person is more invested in the relationship than the other and this can cause major problems during cuffing season – particularly when both parties are on different pages. Once you notice those tell-tale signs that you are falling for the other person, make sure to have the chat about where you see it going. If they admit that they are not looking for something serious then don’t assume that a short fling over winter will change their mind, because the chances are you will develop strong feelings and end up getting hurt.

Take it slow

One of the biggest tell-tale signs of cuffing season is someone’s haste to get tied down and make things exclusive. Don’t let the worry of spending the upcoming holiday season alone tint your outlook on how you feel about that person and where you see the relationship going. While having someone for the winter months may seem like a good thing in the short-term (after all who hasn’t had those thoughts that it would be better to be with someone than alone), coupling up with someone who just isn’t right for you for the sake of banishing loneliness is likely to land you in a messy situation further down the line.

Set healthy boundaries

If you have found yourself in an autumn romance and it’s showing the signs of a cuffing situationship, don’t panic! Many people struggle with setting healthy boundaries, but the only person you have to answer to is you. So, if you are not on board with a short-term fling, let them know. That way, you can focus your energy on finding the relationship that you are really looking for instead of wasting your time and feelings on something that is doomed from the start.

Rely on the support of those around you

Loneliness can be hard but starting a relationship so you don’t have to be alone is even harder. Make time for your friends and family and the activities that you enjoy to ease some of that loneliness and boredom and distract you from your single status. After all, how many times have you heard people say that they found love when they stopped looking for it?

If finding someone is still high on your radar, then why not enlist the help of the professionals? By joining a dating agency, you will have access to a dedicated matchmaker who will be there to support you every step of the way and work closely with you to find that person that you have been looking for. Taking the mystery and time wasting out of dating, you can be sure that those you are introduced to are looking for that long-term, committed relationship that you have in your heart. 

If you are single and looking for a way to avoid the perils of cuffing season, then get in touch with our friendly team today, where are expert matchmakers are ready to help you find a loving relationship that lasts beyond the winter.