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Why is mono-manic dating the trend you need to be aware of in 2021?

This year has had a fundamental impact on dating and as new lockdown restrictions came into play and social distancing was enforced, new dating trends emerged. From apocalypsing to ghosting, 2020 saw a manner of dating trends arise and as we enter into a new year of even more uncertainty, it seems mono-manic dating (or MMD for short) is the trend that we need to watch out for.

The mono-manic approach to dating really hinders a person’s chances of finding not just a partner but more importantly the right partner. A mentality that is often more common in women than in men, mono-manic dating is when an individual forms an obsession with one aspect of a person – whether it be their age or height for example – which in effect blinkers them from being able to see the whole package of a prospective partner.

How many people do you know that are insistent that they only find men over 6ft attractive, only to discover later that their actual chosen life partner and soul mate ends up being 5ft 8”. Or those that insist that they do not find women their age desirable and then end up falling in love with a woman a few years older? The answer, lots.

By fixating on one aspect of a person, you are missing out on all the other great qualities and traits that they have, leading you to potentially decline the perfect life partner for you all for the sake of one criteria that you have become attached to. It’s a fact of life that not everyone can live up to our expectations, especially if you’ve set the bar pretty high. So, when you’re dating it’s important that you review every profile and meet every prospective partner with an open mind.

Once people can get past the mono-manic dating mindset and see people for who they are rather than focusing on the number in their heads, the happier and more successful their dating journey will be. After all, life is too short to spend it lonely and looking for the ‘perfect’ partner that ticks every box on your checklist. So next time you look at someone’s profile and say to yourself “they’re great but…” be a bit more open-minded and ignore the mono-manic way of dating, because let’s face it, you might find something you never knew you were looking for!

Here at Ignite Dating not only do we guide you through the dating minefield, but our matchmakers will also recommend matches that may be different to your usual ‘type’, therefore steering you away from possible mono-manic dating. Many of our success stories have come from introductions that haven’t necessarily been the perfect fit on paper, but the sparks and chemistry have been there from the moment they met. Trusting your matchmaker to do their job and get the right outcome for you is imperative and the results can be highly rewarding. Don’t fall victim to mono-manic dating, let our matchmakers help steer you in the right direction to find your perfect life partner today.

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How to select the best agency for you

In the era of online dating, you would be forgiven for thinking that matchmakers and traditional agencies are a dying breed, but you couldn’t be further from the truth. While online dating apps have attracted the attention of singletons worldwide offering the premise of easy dating, many people have quickly become disenchanted with the labour-intensive scrolling of potential dates, the casual hookups and the alarming number of fake profiles.

When looking for a potential life partner you are essentially looking for a joint CEO

of your life. Someone who shares your values, aspirations and lifestyle and is genuinely looking for a long-term committed relationship – all areas where dating apps can fall short. As a result, there are a vast number of matchmaking and introduction agencies out there to help those looking for love, but with so many to choose from how do you know which is the right agency for you? Our guide on selecting a dating agency will reveal all.

Extensive expertise to help you get the best from your dating journey

You wouldn’t buy a car from a pushy salesman with no credentials, so why should outsourcing your dating journey to a professional be any different? While it is easy to play matchmaker for friends and family who you know well, it is an entirely different ball game when it comes to finding that life partner for a client.

An experienced matchmaker will spend some time getting to know all the little details that make you, you. It is not simply enough to know who you are and what it is you want from a partner. Sometimes the smallest nuggets of information that you give can help experienced matchmakers find a partner with similar interests, ambitions and aspirations. These nuggets can be crucial if you are to find that successful lifelong partnership you are looking for – but can be glossed over by inexperienced matchmakers, leading to unsuitable matches and a delay to your dating journey.

Matchmakers can help you learn so much about yourself too. You may think you know exactly what you want in a partner but find that after a few conversations with your matchmaker, they raise some good points that cause you to re-evaluate what you are really looking for in a relationship. Utilising the expertise of an experienced matchmaker when selecting a dating agency, can lead to more successful and fulfilling relationships overall, not to mention more fun and less stress on the dating journey as you go through!

Reputation and knowledge of the industry is priceless

When looking to select an agency, bear in mind that reputation and knowledge of the industry can be key differentiators when it comes to finding that perfect partner for you. Like most industries, technology and new fads have an impact on the dating sector and every year, new platforms or trends arise to “help” those looking for love, creating a minefield when looking for the one that is right for you.

Knowledge of the dating industry is key, and you will find that most reputable agencies have either been around for a long time or they are run by individuals with extensive expertise and previous roles within the industry. Always ask about the agency history as this will give you a good insight into how the agency came about and the people that are behind it.

This goes hand in hand with reputation. Matchmaking agencies that have been operating for a substantial length of time or run by individuals that have been involved in the industry for a long time generally have a stronger reputation than those that haven’t. Reputation is not something that can be bought, so look out for reviews and testimonials from clients as this will give you a good indicator as to how others have found the journey. Coverage in well-respected media publications is also a good indicator of those with strong reputations as it showcases their expertise and knowledge of the industry in an unbiased way.

Identity checks and in-depth interviews for peace of mind

One of the biggest downfalls of dating apps and unreputable agencies is the lack of checks, allowing people to be whoever they want to be. This makes them a prime location for fraudulent profiles and cybercriminals looking to prey on the unsuspecting and vulnerable.

Safety and security are high priorities for matchmaking and introduction agencies, and they will always carry out ID checks to make sure that every individual is legitimate and who they say they are. After all, they do not want to introduce a client to somebody that has not been through the same verification process that their clients have undertaken.

Qualifications speak a thousand words

Matchmakers and relationship coaches or therapists are completely different entities. While matchmakers make good sounding boards to discuss the emotionally-charged process of looking for love – often providing support and encouragement along the way – they are not qualified professionals trained to provide advice and opinions on matters of relationships or emotional disorders.

If services like these are necessary, a reputable agency will have specially trained professionals that they can refer you to rather than giving you that advice and guidance themselves, unless they have the qualifications to support it.

While selecting a dating agency that is reputable is important, it is even more important that you choose a matchmaker that is right for you. You will be working closely with this individual and have to trust them to understand you and what you are looking for, in order to find that perfect partner for you. To build this close working relationship you need to be sure that they are open, honest and empathetic towards your situation. Your matchmaker will use their skills, emotional intelligence and time to help you find the life partner for you – and trust us, once you’ve found the right agency and matchmaker for you, you’ll be glad you put your love life in their very capable hands.

At Ignite Dating, we pride ourselves on our extensive expertise, knowledge and understanding of the industry to ensure that you get the best out of your dating journey. Our expert matchmakers have a decade of combined experience under their belts and using a mixture of Myers Briggs personality profiling, intuition and proficiency, we will help you to find the perfect partner for you. Your dedicated matchmaker will work closely with you to get a better understanding of what it is that you are looking for in a relationship before presenting you with carefully selected and vetted matches so you can begin your journey to achieving the ultimate goal of a lifetime partner. Ready to commit? Get in touch and let us find the perfect partner for you.

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5 signs that he is losing interest or are you overthinking it?

You have been dating for a while and have enjoyed getting to know each other over coffees, lunches and even dinner dates but suddenly there is a shift that you cannot quite put your finger on – are these early signs he is losing interest?

To most, ‘he’s just not that into you’ may have been a hit romantic comedy of the past, but the overarching challenges of reading (or misreading) human behaviour are just as real now as they were 10 years ago.

So, what should you be looking for when your date has gone from hanging on your every word to being harder to tie down for a date than that exclusive restaurant in town?

When it comes to dating, the signs are always there you just need to learn how to read them. If you are struggling to decipher where things are heading and cannot help shaking that feeling that he is losing interest, look out for these 5 signs he is losing interest or just busy.

1. Phone calls and texts have steadily decreased

You used to talk and text daily, but lately there has been a shift in communication between the two of you without any reason. It may have resulted in arranging calls that simply did not happen or maybe there have been times where he has not reached out for days and then suddenly wants to meet up. If this behaviour is becoming more regular it could be a sign that he is just not interested.

Men are not very good at feigning interest, so the lack of communication might be his way of saying that he is not particularly interested in developing this into something more serious. However, by keeping in touch between the breaks of radio silence it is likely that he does not want to burn bridges between you but is looking for a more casual relationship.

If you are looking for more commitment it may be time to call him out on it, as playing along with him will only result in heartbreak for you. A real discussion needs to take place as to where you both stand on your dating journey and what you want from the future. If it does not align then moving on is the only choice you have.

2. Quality time together has started to dwindle

We all know that there are times when life gets a little busier and it makes it harder to pin down plans. But if you are finding that you are spending a lot less time together than you used to, or you are trying to make plans but facing a wall of excuses and reasons to avoid it then maybe it is time to take a step back and reassess.

You need to confirm whether he is genuinely busy with other commitments or whether he is simply avoiding you, and the best way to do that is to have an honest conversation about your feelings and asking him what is going on. Rather than play the role of the bad guy, men tend to distance themselves to make it easier to end things later down the line to avoid hurting you. If he is not interested in spending time with you, call it a day and spend time with those that relish your company instead.

3. Intimacy has become scarce

When you first started dating things were hot and steamy but these days those intimate moments are few and far between and you find it hard to remember the last time that you kissed, held hands, or even hugged.

If he has put intimacy on hold, whether physical or emotional, you need to reach out to him and find out what is going on. While there are things that you can do to bring that elusive spark back to the relationship, you need to decide whether it is worth the effort.

4. Things are becoming increasingly one-sided

In the early days you spoke regularly during the day and would often have long conversations about anything and everything – enjoying that feeling of getting to know each other. However, these days it seems like you are the only one checking in and asking the questions and your calls and texts often go hours or even days without a response.

You need to find out first if he is putting in no effort because he is losing interest, or he genuinely has a lot of other things going on in his life that are taking more of his time. It is important to open up a conversation and check in with him to see how things are going with him and if anything is bothering him. If he values you, he will respect the fact that you reached out and will slowly start to open up and put your mind at ease. If he does not and there is nothing else going on in his life, it is maybe time to walk away and place your effort elsewhere.

5. He dodges questions about your status or where it is going

When you first start dating, it can be hard to know when the right time is to put a label on the relationship. If you have been dating a while and he is not making any real effort towards making it official between you or giving vague answers when you question him about it, it may be a sign that you are not quite right for him.

If he is acting like you are a couple but unwilling to make a commitment to you there is a strong chance that he is not really interested in a deeper relationship. This does not mean that he is not enjoying the time with you or that you guys have no future – but the chances of things getting serious are unlikely. Instead, he is probably more interested in a casual relationship, so if that is not what you are looking for it may be time to call it off.

How to take back the power and pique his interest (if you want to)

If the above signs seem familiar, it is time for you to think about your feelings and what you want from this prospective love interest. If you are looking for a long-term committed relationship and see potential, then you need to be honest with each other and make sure that you are both on the same page.

When it comes to attraction, chemistry is something that cannot be forced. It is impossible to make somebody commit to you if those feelings are not there for them. Be true to yourself and understand if your partner is ready for what you are expecting out of the relationship. It takes time to move from dating to a relationship and you need to give it time to develop naturally.

During that time, concentrate on yourself too. If you feel that you are losing yourself and putting everything into dating, then make some time for the other people in your life. Whether that is spending time with family or hanging out with friends, it is important that you are not always available and dependent on your date for happiness.

If you still find that he is unsure about taking the next steps towards a committed relationship, then maybe a time out will be good for both of you. There is no point making yourself miserable and becoming hopelessly devoted to someone who is not quite where you need them to be. Instead concentrate on the other aspects of your life and who knows, maybe a bit of distance from you will make his heart grow fonder.

At Ignite Dating, we know how confusing it can be to read human behaviour – particularly in those early stages of dating when you are just getting to know someone. Our dedicated matchmakers are on hand to help you decode his behaviour and will provide you with constructive feedback after every introduction, so you know where you stand. If you would like a more supportive dating journey without the mind games, then join us today.

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Are you suffering from a case of dating burnout?

Going on dates can be exhausting at the best of times and may lead to the not entirely uncommon condition of dating burnout.

So much preparation goes into finding a potential suitor, talking to them and asking questions to get to know them better before meeting in person. And what happens when you’re finally ready to go on that date? Hopefully, there will be a spark and all that planning and preparation will be worth it as you get to know each other better and a blossoming romance ensues. But we all know the age old saying that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince – so chances are every date that is right, there will be numerous dates that fall short of the mark. 

Dating takes up a lot of time and for those of us that are working and balancing families and home life, it is simply time that we do not have to waste on people that we aren’t going to connect with. And while lots of choice can seem great at first, after a while it can become overwhelming and even tedious. Sitting down on the sofa scrolling through hundreds of faces may seem like the height of ease and simplicity, but over time you can guarantee that it will leave you feeling exhausted, frustrated and low – none of which are good mentalities to have when meeting someone new.

Dealing with Dating Burnout

Dating burnout signs

While we’re becoming better at spotting symptoms of burnout in our professional lives, we’re much less likely to apply that same level of self-care when it comes to our daily sessions of hunting for potential matches. Searching for someone who checks all the boxes can be draining, particularly now that there are so many ways to find someone, but how do you know if you’re just frustrated with dating or legitimately exhausted by it?

Have you ever had that moment where you’re scrolling through profiles but not really taking in the information? Or maybe you’re getting ready for yet another date but there’s no feeling of excitement, so you find yourself regularly cancelling dates last minute? If so, it is likely that you are experiencing a case of dating burnout.

How to deal with dating burnout

If you recognise these symptoms in yourself, it’s a good idea to have a break from dating. Take some time out with good friends and family to appreciate what you already have in your life rather than focusing on what you lack and are longing for. This will ultimately give you a renewed purpose and when you’re ready to start dating again – try something new.

If you find online dating laborious and want to cut down on the time, effort and emotional energy put into those dates that just aren’t quite what you are looking for, then why not outsource the hard work to someone who understands you and what you are looking for in a partner, someone like Ignite Dating?

Professional Matchmaker Zoom Call

By enlisting the help of a professional matchmaker, you can refocus your energy into the things that you want and need to do and say goodbye to the exhaustion caused by dating. Gone are the days when you only had your evenings and weekends to spend flicking through dating apps or trying to meet someone in your favourite bar – while worrying that you’re not finding someone quickly enough. While you work, do your groceries, go to the dentist or spend time with friends, your matchmaker will be working tirelessly to find the perfect partner for you.

Hustle culture may have made us feel pressured to put our all into everything we do, but our success when it comes to dating unfortunately does not correspond to how much effort we put into it. So rather than fighting the signs of dating burnout, why not hand the job over to someone who knows you and understands what you are looking for, so you can get back to enjoying dating – after all it’s meant to be fun!!

At Ignite Dating, we take the hard work out of your search for love. Your dedicated matchmaker is with you every step of the way, using Myers Briggs and intuition to provide a dating journey that will leave you feeling confident, energised and safe. If you want to put the fun back into dating and avoid dating burnout get in touch today.

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Is your dating attachment style hindering your search for love?

You may have heard about dating attachment style before, where people use the terms anxious, avoidant and secure to describe the way in which they behave in a relationship – but do you know just how important they are when it comes to finding a relationship that really works for you?

Established in early childhood through your relationship with your primary caregivers, your attachment style is something that subconsciously you will take with you into your adult relationships. It determines how you relate to your partner, which subsequently affects how you behave in a relationship and how healthy or even unhealthy your relationships will be.

With three main types – anxious, avoidant and secure – understanding your personal attachment style can help you forge healthier relationships in the future and increase your chances of finding the right person for you, but where do you start?

Knowing me, knowing you

Do you ever get the feeling that you attract a certain type of person all the time, or that your relationships feel a little bit like déja vu regarding your behaviour? This could be your attachment style coming into play and the sooner you recognise it, the easier your search for love will be.

Identifying your own attachment style early, can help you detect potential problems before things go a little pear-shaped, allowing you to recognise behaviour in yourself and others and determine the attachment style that best complements your own to achieve a more healthy, stable relationship.

Dating anxious attachment style

Having an anxious attachment style can lead you to need constant reassurance in your relationships. You are likely to experience low self-esteem and insecurity, leading you to feel anxious, needy or worried when your partner goes out without you or shows interest in activities or hobbies different to your own. While a certain degree of anxiety in relationships can be healthy – remember the age old saying of absence makes the heart grow fonder – if you are finding that you are regularly causing arguments over such things or portraying controlling, jealous and possessive behaviour then it may be time to step back from the relationship and concentrate on addressing your attachment style.

Dating avoidant attachment style

An avoidant attachment style is most commonly represented by individuals that live a very independent lifestyle. You are likely to avoid emotional intimacy and deem connections with others as unnecessary, preferring to spend time alone than socialise with others. While independence in a relationship can be healthy, if you find it difficult to relate to or trust people and frequently find that relationships fizzle out after just a couple of weeks – something which you knew from the start – then it is likely that you have an avoidant attachment style which may need a little nurturing. 

Dating secure attachment style

Having a secure attachment style is the ideal when it comes to attachment in relationships as it means you have a strong connection with your partner, but you don’t display any possessive or jealous behaviours. You are likely to enjoy spending time with your partner, but also feel able to go out with your friends and enjoy different interests without the need to check in on each other every five minutes! A secure attachment style doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is perfect, but it does mean you are able to handle any problems in a healthy, balanced way.

Every dating attachment style is capable of finding love

Once you have taken a look into your own behaviours and figured out your dating attachment style, you will have a better idea of those who may be good or bad for you to date – and who it may be best to avoid completely.

Although secure attachment style dating is the healthiest when it comes to relationships, identifying your attachment style as anxious or avoidant isn’t necessarily a bad thing and it certainly doesn’t mean you can’t have a healthy, long-term relationship.

Those without secure attachment styles tend to seek a partner who can meet the emotional needs that they can’t meet themselves, but there is no reason why you can’t fulfil those needs on your own so you no longer have to rely on a partner to meet them for you. For example, if you identify as an anxious style you might need to work on your self-esteem and knowing that you don’t need to rely on somebody to prop you up but can cope when you are single, whereas if you identify as an avoidant style you may need to work on learning how to let others in.

As human beings, we crave a deeper level of connection with others. By identifying the traits in your dating attachment style, you will be able to work on any negative patterns and open yourself up to more healthy and balanced relationships in the future.

At Ignite Dating, we work with people across all dating attachment styles and understand how attachment styles and dating go hand in hand. Because everyone is different, we tailor our services to your specific requirements and your matchmaker will be on hand to advise and guide you to get the best out of your dating journey and your future relationships.