Dating Lingo – have you been ghosted?

From going steady in the 80s, to avoiding scrubs in the 90s and looking for your boo in the 00s, dating lingo is always changing and some of the new trends that emerge are entertaining, to say the least! So if you’re feeling nostalgic for the times when you’d make a mixtape for your crush, never fear! As the dating world changes to adapt to social media, apps like Tinder and our always-on culture, dating lingo is getting even better.

In fact, in 2020 you can breadcrumb someone (lead them on with no intention of getting serious), slide into their DMs (send them a private message on social media), catfish them (pretend to be someone you’re not) and even find yourself being Marleyed (being contacted out of the blue by an ex on Christmas day).

But one of our favourites and one phrase that seems to be sticking around is ghosting. You may or may not be familiar with this term, but below we’re going to tell you a little bit about it so you can recognise if you’ve ever been ghosted before – or perhaps if you’re being ghosted right now!

What is ghosting?

Ghosting is essentially when you ignore someone’s messages (and general existence) and disappear from their lives without any real explanation. People do this because they may have met someone else or because it’s easier than having to tell someone they don’t like them or want to date them anymore.

So to be ghosted means to have someone stop replying to your messages or answering your calls, without actually letting you know they don’t want a relationship from you. This can be quite a hurtful experience, especially in the age of instant messaging. But sadly it is becoming more and more common.

Have you ever been ghosted?

Have you ever been on a few dates or begun messaging someone, only for them to phase you out or stop talking to you quite abruptly? You might have wondered what was going on at the time, you might have thought that the relationship had simply run its course, or perhaps if you were talking to more than one person, you didn’t notice this particular one had slipped away. Either way, you were probably ghosted.

How to get over it

If you really like the person you’re dating, ghosting can be quite a difficult pill to swallow. After all, they could at least give you an explanation and let you know they don’t want to see you anymore – even if it is hard to hear. But if you’ve found you have been ghosted, don’t let it get you down, there are several things you can do to get over it:

  • Acknowledge your feelings because it’s OK to be upset about it
  • Don’t be too hard on yourself, it says more about them than it does you
  • Reflect that it’s maybe less painful than a massive argument
  • Talk it out with friends or family
  • Accept that it’s happened but that it’s not the end of your dating life
  • Move on and continue to search – they obviously weren’t right for you anyway (this is the really important one!!)

Tired of being ghosted? At Ignite, we understand that finding the right person takes time and that you might occasionally find yourself in situations where you’re ghosted by someone you liked. But we’re here to support you on your journey, to introduce you to potential partners who you have a lot in common with and to help you move on and carry on the search if it doesn’t work out. Get in touch with our friendly team today.

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