Putting yourself out there on the dating scene has the potential to test the mettle of even the most confident among us. From approaching somebody you’re interested in, to battling those first pre-date jitters, there can be some serious pushing of your comfort zone when navigating your dating journey.
For those who have introversion traits though, dating poses a particular challenge as it may well represent the very opposite of what you feel comfortable doing. A night at home alone on the sofa in your pyjamas, or spending quality time with your nearest and dearest, may seem far preferable than meeting somebody new for a date.
Put broadly, introversion is a personality trait characterised by focusing more on inner feelings, ideas and images rather than external stimulation of the outer world. It’s hardly an unusual trait – in fact, it is estimated a third of the population have introversion tendencies.
The polar opposite to extraversion, the temperament of somebody with introversion tendencies can mean the whole process of socialising can become particularly draining. People who score an ‘Introversion’ preference on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator may prefer spending time alone or with one or two people they feel comfortable with, rather than in large crowds, and as a result they often need time to recharge after being sociable. While people with extraversion tendencies seek to spend time with other people to recharge their batteries, seen as reflective or reserved, those with introversion traits prefer to avoid environments that are overstimulating. Those among us with introversion tendencies like getting their energy from dealing with the ideas, pictures, memories and reactions inside their own minds and can come across as quiet, as they don’t feel the need to be the centre of attention.
If this sounds like you, you’ll know what we’re talking about when it comes to dating. While having introversion traits doesn’t automatically mean you are shy or reclusive, dating can feel like enough of a performance to risk making you want to freeze up. Don’t despair though – there are a few simple pointers which can help ease you into a date you will actually enjoy, rather than endure.
Remember, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having introversion tendencies
People with introversion tendencies make great listeners, are very observant and can be very easy to talk to. Be reassured you’ve got lots to give, and you’ll make a great conversation partner when you feel relaxed on a date. With this in mind, make sure that first date venue suits you. If a tête-à-tête in a quiet location works for you, then it will help demonstrate to your potential partner your curious and insightful nature.
But if this sounds a bit intimidating, why not try a date based around a shared activity such as a movie or a live performance, to provide you with plenty of conversation starters afterwards? The common interest will allow you to showcase your ability to master the art between starting a conversation and actively listening to their responses, a sought-after trait in partners for most single people.
That said, it’s good to prepare
If the thought of the conversation running dry makes your blood run cold, then it’s well worth having a few topics up your sleeve before you meet. It’s likely you will have been in touch in advance to get an idea of your date’s likes and dislikes, plus you can come armed with some more conversational gold gleaned from their dating profile. Be prepared with interesting questions that’ll lead to engaging discussions that you’ll genuinely enjoy. And don’t forget, open questions can help keep the chat flowing much more than closed questions.
Make sure your outfit does not make you self-conscious
While most of us will often consider buying a new date ensemble once the event is in the diary, now is not the time for selecting an outfit just because you think the other person would like it or dressing up to the nines if your signature style is more jeans and a comfy jumper. Pick something which you feel comfortable and relaxed in and you’ll feel a lot more confident and spend less time doubting your choice and instead focus more on the conversation and situation at hand.
And remember, don’t pretend to be something you’re not
Avoid falling into the trap of doing what you think you should be doing on a date. If you try and pretend you’re something you’re not, or agree to a date which really isn’t your cup of tea, you’ll could end up having a rubbish time and more than likely your body language is likely to give it away to your date. Be honest about what you like doing and if you’ve both agreed to meet after reading each other’s profiles, it is likely that somewhere in there is some common ground that you can work with.
Work with a matchmaker
Sometimes it helps to have someone to help guide and support you through your dating journey, particularly if it’s outside of your comfort zone. Here at Ignite Dating, we specialise in hand-selected introductions, using our vast experience, extensive network and intuitive personality profiling to find you the perfect match. We’re here to help improve your confidence and take all the hard work out of dating, so you can just sit back, relax and enjoy the journey.
There’s no need to stress about the search for a potential partner, as we’ll help you find the right person by bringing hand-selected potential matches to you. We’ll work closely with you to decide what is important to you and the type of person you’d like to meet and when you feel ready to meet somebody new, we’ll be there every step of the way. We can assist with all those crucial first-date preparations and suggest tactics and strategies for embarking on a first meeting you’ll truly enjoy. With a matchmaker in your corner, you can sit back, relax and know that an expert is working hard on your behalf to find you true love.
We’re here to find you the perfect partner who truly understands you and shares your values, aspirations and lifestyle. Get in touch today and our team of friendly matchmakers will confidently guide you through every step of your dating journey.