What are the consequences of dating multiple people?

Do you ever get the feeling the person you are chatting to on a dating app is busy juggling multiple conversations with other people? You may find they drag their feet replying to your messages and come across as extremely busy when you suggest meeting up. In the dating world it’s certainly not unusual to encounter somebody who is dating multiple people at once. Some singletons prefer not to keep their eggs all in one basket, especially in the early days of dating where they are investing time in getting to know several people simultaneously. However, dating more than one person at a time can get messy, especially when feelings develop. 

It’s common for single people to be chat to more than one person via dating apps, especially when they don’t mind juggling several conversations at once. For many it makes sense to get to know more than one person, as it takes a lot of time to move from the initial chats to meeting in person. If you realise you are not compatible after a couple of dates, you’ve got to start all over again searching for somebody new. When you meet online you’ve got no idea what the outcome is going to be, so for some it makes sense to be connecting with several people to widen the pool of people that might be right for you. It’s known as roster dating, a strategy where you casually see more than one romantic interest at a time, and people eventually melt away as you invest more time into solidifying a connection with the person you are most interested in. 

As well as finding out who you share a spark with, meeting a range of people helps you understand your own needs and figure out what you want out of a relationship. With each date you get a better knowledge of the sorts of person you gel with and what you don’t like. It can be a lot of fun to meet new people and keep things casual without having to consider everything that comes with a committed relationship. 

Of course, there are drawbacks to this sort of dating. It can take a lot of time and energy to commit to multiple chats and dates, which could lead to dating burnout if you’re not careful. It can be difficult enough to make time for dating one person, let alone several. It can be very embarrassing to forget things dates have told you, or get details about their lives wrong, purely because you’re juggling meetups with too many people at once. When you are burnt out by the whole process of dating, then you can easily become overwhelmed and dating anybody just seems like a chore. 

Dating somebody who is seeing multiple people 

You may be keen on only pursuing one love interest at a time, so where does that leave you if the person you are dating is seeing multiple people? Problems can develop when you get more attached, and it you may start to feel jealous and resent the fact they’re still dating. Their casual approach may suggest they aren’t looking for a relationship so you can end up getting hurt if you are hoping they will become exclusive in the end. You may have not even been on the same page about what’s going on, as the person you’re seeing might expect you are also dating multiple people. It may take time until it emerges that they are dating other people, and you may be upset when you realise you are not the only person they’ve been seeing. 

It’s worth being honest about your feelings about wanting to be exclusive and then see what their reaction is. If they say they don’t want to commit and prefer to be dating non-exclusively, then you need to decide if this is an arrangement you can tolerate being involved in. if the answer is no, then it’s time to walk away. 

In those early days of dating, it’s important to manage your expectations and not get too carried away until things have had a chance to develop. As much as you might be tempted to, asking somebody if they would consider being exclusive after only a couple of dates might risk scaring them off. There’s always a risk that if you decide to date non-exclusively, people you are meeting might want to cut ties as they prefer to have your undivided attention. 

When it comes to dating, you need to decide what works for you. Trust your gut feeling and if you prefer to date exclusively, then avoid getting involved with anybody who isn’t in the same place as you. Consider working with a matchmaker if you’d like a helping hand on your dating journey, because teaming up with the experts means you can sit back and relax while we find you amazing people to meet. 

Are you keen to hear more about the matchmaking process and how Ignite Dating can help you with your dating journey? Just give our expert team a call today and we’ll happily detail more about how our multiple award-winning service works!

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