How to get over the nerves of dating

Whether you’re bereaved, divorced or simply been single for a while, dating can be a nerve-wracking and daunting prospect for anyone. Your age, gender, life experience and relationship status will have little effect on how nervous you are when it is time to get back on the dating scene. But the good news is, with the right advice it doesn’t have to be so daunting.

There are some important steps that you can take to help ease your nerves and find the fun in dating again. Not least of all, working with an experienced matchmaker and relationship coach who can help guide you through the various stages of dating and ensure that you enjoy a dating journey that leaves you feeling confident, energized and safe.

In this blog, we’re going to look at some useful tips to help you get over your dating nerves and explore how a matchmaker can offer any additional, but necessary, support along the way.

Get yourself a matchmaker or relationship coach

Firstly, and most obviously, you need to get yourself a matchmaker or enlist the services of a fully qualified relationship coach. This is particularly important if you have had a negative dating experience in the past, you are feeling lost and confused about how to meet the right person or it has simply been a long time since you dated, and you are unsure about the new dating landscape.

Signing up to a professional matchmaking and introductions agency, like Ignite Dating, can instantly ease the nerves you feel about starting your dating experience. From the moment you begin your dating journey, you can be safe in the knowledge that you’ll have the help and support of an experienced and dedicated professional every step of the way, making the dating world feel a little less intimidating and taking the uncertainty and guess work out of finding that potential lifetime partner – giving you the best chance of achieving that ultimate goal of a long-term, committed relationship.

Understand where you may have gone wrong in the past

Another important way to feel calmer about dating is to understand where you might have gone wrong in the past. If you can understand why previous relationships haven’t worked out, you can do your best to rectify these issues in the future and recognise any red flags or warning signs that are likely to lead you down the same path.

A qualified dating and relationship coach will be able to help you work this out. They can discuss any previous relationships and dating experiences that you have had and help you to identify where the issues were and how to best handle those situations should they arise again. They can also help you to understand your dating attachment style and those that are best suited to your attachment style and identify any areas of personal growth that you can work on together to give you the best chance of success and ensure that you are ready for the new journey ahead.

Plan the ideal date

When it comes to meeting any introductions in person, you need to plan the ideal first date for you. This means choosing a place, time and activity that is going to make you feel as comfortable and at ease as possible. We would also recommend that you choose something that will allow you to extend if you wish but not feel too awkward if you need to cut it short if the chemistry is not there for you.

For example, while bike rides or bowling might be fun ideas, if these aren’t your usual activities don’t use a first date as an excuse to try out a new hobby. Instead, pick something simple, perhaps just going for a drink in a relatively quiet and lowkey place where you have the chance to talk and get to know each other with the flexibility to extend the date should you both be enjoying one another’s company.

If you’re unsure what to do, your dedicated matchmaker will be able to advise the best date ideas that take into account both of your personalities, skills and interests, making that planning process easier.

Wear something that makes you feel good

Much like choosing a new activity is not ideal for a first date, don’t use this opportunity to wear something new that could make you feel uncomfortable or self-conscious. While a new shirt or dress may seem like a good idea to begin with, sometimes old favourites are the better option.

Be sure to wear something that you feel great in and that makes you feel comfortable. After all, you don’t want to be fiddling around with your clothes all night and often when you are uncomfortable it shows in your body language and can be misinterpreted as lack of interest by your date – which could be miles from the truth.

If you’re unsure about what to wear, speak with your dating coach, matchmaker or even get a friend or family member over to offer their honest advice and help you choose an outfit that shows you off in the best light without adding any discomfort.

Set realistic expectations

When it comes to dating, you need to make sure you don’t set your expectations unrealistically high, either for yourself or your date. Having a more grounded focus on what is really important to you and what you are hoping to achieve can help to relieve some of the pressure and reduce your nerves.

If you know you tend to get stressed or expect too much from your dating journey and subsequently your introductions, speak to your matchmaker. They’ll be able to help you set realistic expectations for your own personal journey and your introductions to ensure that you are not adding unnecessary pressure to yourself to achieve the impossible.


Last, but certainly not least, you need to remember to breathe! There is someone out there for everyone, so don’t stress or feel disheartened if the first, second or even third date doesn’t lead to a long-term relationship. Just take a breath and trust the process. If you have enlisted the services of a professional matchmaker, trust that they know what they are doing and listen to any advice that they give you as this will all help you to enjoy the dating journey and find that long-term, committed relationship that you are looking for.

If you’re looking for support and advice on dating and someone to help calm your nerves, the expert team of matchmakers at Ignite Dating is here to help. Get in touch with us today to take that first step and start your new dating journey.

More Blogs

Ready to start your love story?

We are an elite matchmaking agency based in the UK specialising in hand-selected personal introductions through your own matchmaker.

By sending this form you have read and understood our Privacy Policy and terms of service.