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Why playing the long game is the new way to dating success

There’s no denying that over the last few decades, we have become a nation expecting instant gratification across all areas of our lives. From food venues to dates, we want everything there and then and if we can’t get it, we move onto the next thing without a second thought.

While technology and society’s behavioural changes have paved the way for this to happen, it has made us colder and less human than we ever were before. No sooner than we’ve found something and given it a chance, have we moved onto the next thing. Even those that have been quietly content with what they have, often find themselves wondering if the grass is greener on the other side.

But thankfully, this is all starting to change.

Slow and steady wins the race

Just like in the fable, the tortoise and the hare, rushing to complete things quickly doesn’t guarantee that you are likely to succeed. In fact, in the majority of instances in life, taking things slow and steady is more likely to see you achieve what you are hoping to – whether it’s relationships, fitness or careers, taking it slow will pay off in the long run.

The days of rushing through life and making hasty decisions when dating for fear of being alone are fast-becoming a thing of the past. If the pandemic and subsequent restrictions taught us anything this year, it’s that we shouldn’t settle for less than we deserve. While the feelings of isolation and loneliness were amplified amongst single people that were living alone, it also gave them a moment to reflect on what they really wanted in a relationship and allowed them the opportunity to take it slow with any new dates that they met.

Fast-forward six months and despite lockdowns being an awful nightmare from the past, it seems playing the long game is here to stay. From socially distanced walks in the park to drive-in movies, date ideas that became all the rage in the pandemic are still amongst some of the favourites for that all important first date.

And it’s not just the dates that are taking on a slower pace. Before the pandemic dating was done with high speed and efficiency in mind. From the moment you ‘matched’, it was a race against time to meet in person and figure out what the person was actually like. But now, a slower pace has taken hold. People are choosing to date slowly and spend time getting to know someone gradually before making a decision on whether they are the right person for them.

The result?

Stronger, more trusting, and longer-lasting relationships.

Commitment is the new must-have accessory

Interest in casual flings and one-night stands are lower than they have been in a long time, with single people across all ages readjusting their focus to find that long-term, committed relationship over settling for a short-term fling.

Dating and relationships became a much bigger priority for single people worldwide following the restrictions forced upon them in the last two years and unlike our uncertainty of what is going to happen with the pandemic, one thing we do know for certain is that love and relationships are firmly back in style.

If you are single and looking for that special someone to build a future with, then get in touch with our friendly team today. Our expert matchmakers are ready and waiting to make sure that 2022 is the start of a new adventure on your road to love and happily ever after.

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Why marriage after online dating could spell divorce

When it comes to the search for true love, everyone dreams of that happily ever after. Whether you meet online, through friends or enlist the help of a matchmaking agency, a life-long partner who shares your values, aspirations and lifestyle is the ultimate goal. But is there a way to help determine the long-term success of the relationship before it starts?

The honest answer is no. After all, every person is different with their own unique experiences, traits, attachment styles and outlooks. However, statistically speaking the way that you meet your partner could shine a little light on the long-term success of the relationship.  

Algorithms don’t always equal success

When online dating was the new kid on the block, there was a huge flurry of success stories. From friends to colleagues and even parents, everyone seemed to be meeting online and finding success. But fast forward to today and the number of successes seem to be dwindling, replaced with stories of scams and nightmare dates.

When you’re looking for a long-term partner, someone you can share a genuine connection with, dating apps can be a real let down. Using sparse databases, loosely fitting criteria and vague algorithms to help you find your match, online dating takes the human element out of the matching process and reinforces the need for luck. And lots of it!

And that’s not all. A recent study by the Marriage Foundation found that couples who met and started a relationship through an online dating app or website are six times more likely to get divorced in the first three years of marriage than those who met more organically through people they know and trust.

Once the shock of the statistic sinks in and you really think about it, it’s understandable why this might be the case.

From complete strangers to relative strangers

Often when couples meet online, they are doing so as complete strangers. They have no mutual friends and no shared experiences, making the gathering of reliable information about the long-term character of the person you are dating or marrying quite difficult. Add to this the fact that the wider social connections between families and friends must form from scratch, compared to those that have been established for years and even decades in some cases, and you are already at a disadvantage and at risk of making a hasty mistake.

It takes approximately two years minimum to really get to know someone. The first year, the relationship is new. You both work hard on continuing to impress each other and showcase why you are a good match and the idea of what the relationship could be like in the future.

Then, as time goes by and you spend more time together, their traits and behaviours will start to show more. When you get closer to the second year, you’ll notice patterns occurring in their behaviour, little quirks that at first seemed quite small but over time seem to grow bigger and bigger. This is usually when you hit the fight or flight period in the relationship.

It is during this stage that you evaluate your relationship. You will reflect on their character traits and determine whether they are small enough for you to accept and move forward into the next phase of the relationship or whether it is time to pull the plug.

Unfortunately, according to the statistics a large portion of those opt for the latter.

Can you increase your chances of happily ever after?

With everything in life, there are no certainties. No agency or dating app can guarantee that you will find love and live happily ever after but there are ways to increase your chances.

If finding someone organically through your family, friendship or social circles is a no go, turning to an elite matchmaking agency may be a much more effective way to find true love. From the moment that you join, an expert matchmaker will guide you through every step of your journey. They will spend time getting to know who you are and what is important to you in a partner before writing your profile and searching for that special person.  

Unlike database matching agencies and online apps, they don’t rely on algorithms to find the perfect match. Instead, they use intuition, expertise and that all important human touch to find a life partner that shares the same values, aspirations and lifestyle as you. By taking the time to understand what you are looking for and ensuring that you have the necessary support around you to embark on your dating journey, you are more likely to achieve that ultimate goal of a long-term committed relationship.

If you are single and looking for a more effective way to date, then get in touch with our friendly team of expert matchmakers who are ready to help you take that first step to success today.

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A partner is for life, not just for Christmas

Every year it happens. The seasons change, the nights get colder and darker and single people everywhere start that hunt to settle down. Just like our furry counterparts, Autumn brings with it a sense of urgency to find comfort and solace in hibernating with someone else rather than going it alone.

As Summer draws to a close, single people worldwide trade in their swimsuits, sangria and single life for cuddles on the sofa and exchanging Christmas presents with their families. For anyone that’s had to endure that pitiful look from your relatives as you turn up for another holiday alone, it’s easy to see the attraction of ‘cuffing up’ for Winter.

But, despite the growing number of single people that aim to settle down just for cuffing season, it’s important to remember that a partner is for life not just for Christmas.

Long-term commitment is this season’s must-have accessory

While settling down may be something stereotypically expected of those over the age of 40, it seems the younger generation are getting in on the action too with over half of them seriously looking for that long-term commitment over casual dating or seeing where it goes this season.

Whether the change of heart comes from re-evaluation of what’s important after almost two years of broken dating (or non-existent in some cases) during the pandemic or the simple fact that life is too short to not go after what you want, it seems long-term commitment is this season’s must-have accessory.

So, if you’re single and considering the option of ‘cuffing up’ for Winter, here’s three reasons why you should ditch the trend and focus on that long-term commitment sooner rather than later. 

Playing the long game has paved the way for dating success

If the pandemic has taught us anything, it taught us to slow down and really appreciate the little things in life. From those long telephone conversations or FaceTime calls to the leisurely strolls around the park, for the last couple of years we have taken the time to really get to know potential partners and discover whether they are right for us.

The result? Stronger and longer-lasting relationships. So, ignore the hype and the rush to settle down for fear of being alone, and instead focus on developing those relationships and nurturing them and no doubt you will have a solid foundation for a long-term, successful relationship that is sure to outlive the colder months.

Work smarter, not harder

If you’ve ever experienced dating burnout, you’ll understand how draining it can be to waste time making mundane conversation with people that just aren’t right for you. So why do we do it? While there is some truth in the fact that dating is a numbers game and the more people you meet, the more likely you are to find the one. You also need to be searching in the right places.

If the dating app or avenue you’re using doesn’t have the right type of person, it doesn’t matter how many people you meet, you’re never going to find the one – as soon as the weather starts warming and you’ll be saying goodbye to your winter romance. Instead of wasting your time, scrolling through unsuitable matches to the point of burnout think about what is important to you in a partner. If you work backwards from the vision of your ideal partner, you’ll be able to identify the best channel for you to find them and give your dating journey a renewed focus that is more aligned to what you are really looking for and that goal of a long-term, committed relationship.

Time doesn’t stand still for no-one

While that familiar ticking of the biological clock is not as urgent as it used to be – thanks in no small part to the amazing developments in science that we now have – time doesn’t just stop and the longer you leave it to find that person, the less time you have to spend with them and achieve all that you have planned for your future.

Given the choice, would you rather spend your time with someone that could shape up to be your happily ever after or someone who is realistically only going to be around for a few months at most, leaving you to restart your search when the warmer months roll round and increasing your chances of déjà vu when cuffing season comes back around in 2022?

Time is going to pass by anyway, so instead of wasting it looking for happiness in all the wrong places, give your dating journey the devotion it deserves now and we’re sure you’ll reap the rewards in the not-so-distant future.

If you’re single and fed up of putting your energy into relationships that have no real future, get in touch with our friendly team of expert matchmakers who are on hand to help you find a partner for life, not just for Christmas.

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Dating by design: why matchmaking isn’t just for the over 40s

It’s a myth, universally accepted that matchmaking is for the over 40s. But contrary to belief, the younger generation are now taking their love lives into their own hands and turning to matchmakers to find their life partner.

Gone are the days when your twenties and thirties were all about having fun and living frivolously, while there are some that still live by this approach, an increasing number of young people are calling quits on the timewasters and non-committal hook-ups available through online dating apps.

Whether it is the evaluation and realisation brought about by the pandemic or simply growing tired of the labour-intensive scrolling and small talk on apps, singletons in their late twenties and thirties are placing a higher importance on finding that one and settling down.

And it’s not really that surprising when you investigate it in more detail.

Think about it, if you’re a woman in your mid to late twenties and are wanting children, a year and a half taken out of your life plan can be quite a significant amount of time. While evidence has shown that women are perfectly capable of having children into their forties, it still seems that the ticking of that biological clock is pushing people to find those matches sooner rather than later – or even forcing their hand on preserving their fertility, through embryo freezing.

But it’s not just biology. In the not so distant past when you were asked about what you wanted to do in the future, your twenties and thirties usually consisted of a flurry of short-term jobs and gap years, as you discover yourself and what you really want to do with your life.

However, now in the advent of the university generation, people are starting to get serious about their careers early on. From the moment they leave university, they have a career path in mind and have already made those first steps towards making it happen.

And the same can be said for those who prefer the school of life route. These days everywhere you look there seems to be young entrepreneurs building and growing their own businesses. Whether they’re launching their own independent business or investing in a franchise, professional success is high on people’s agendas from a younger age so, by the time they hit their late twenties and early thirties they’re already on their way to success in their professional lives and looking for that same success in their personal lives.

So, how can a matchmaker help if you’re under 40?

Dating in your twenties and thirties, is full of possibilities. By this stage, you may have already concluded what you are looking for in your dream partner – or at the very least worked out exactly what you don’t want. But if you haven’t that’s ok, as your very own dedicated matchmaker will work with you to identify the things that are important to you. 

By working with a matchmaker, they take the hard work out of dating for you so you can focus on the other areas of your life that matter. They will do all the groundwork to get to know who you are and what you are looking for, before searching for that person through a whole array of avenues.

Another huge benefit of using a matchmaker is that they will run ID checks. Sadly, apps like Tinder have become a prime location for fraudulent accounts and cybercriminals looking to scam the unsuspecting and vulnerable. Not only this but with no ID checks, people can be whoever they want to be – even if that means they tell some big lies in the process.

At Ignite Dating we run ID checks and check everyone’s digital footprint to make sure every individual you meet is legitimate and is who they say they are. This gives you an increased sense of security and means you aren’t going to be disappointed by meeting someone who isn’t as expected.

They also offer advice and guidance to support you every step of your dating journey, from that first phone call through to that first date and into the relationship, taking away the mystery and the ghosting and instead providing you with a dating environment that will leave you feeling safe, confident and energised.

If you’re in your late twenties or thirties and have grown tired of the online apps and looking for a more prescriptive way to date, then get in touch with our friendly team today. With their expert help and guidance, they can support you on your quest to find that long-term committed relationship you’re looking for.

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Are you guilty of dating for the cuffing season?

With the clocks going back this weekend and the nights drawing in, cuffing season is well and truly upon us. It’s a well-known fact that when the colder months set in, we automatically look for comfort – from home cooked stews and casseroles to cosy nights in – and if you’re single, that search for comfort may lead you into the arms of a partner, but for all the wrong reasons.

Cuffing refers to the idea of getting ‘handcuffed’ or tied down to one partner during the colder months, even if usually an exclusive relationship is not on their cards. While there is the possibility that your autumnal date will go the distance, if you or your potential partner are only dating to fill the void, when the warmer months roll around it is likely to spell the end of your brief romance.

So, how can you tell if your new relationship is real or just for the season?

As with any dating scenario, there are signs to look out for to help you determine whether you’ve been ‘cuffed’, for example:

  • Any future plans do not extend beyond the winter months
  • You are contacted out of the blue in the run up to the holiday season and this is followed up by a sense of urgency to make it official
  • Dates are rare or even non-existent and they seem to prefer to spend time cosied up at home, just the two of you
  • The person is emotionally unavailable, lacking in deeper conversations or desire for emotional connection
  • Their dating record is full of short relationships that only last during the winter months

How do you avoid falling into the trap of cuffing season?

Communication is key

Too often when it comes to relationships, one person is more invested in the relationship than the other and this can cause major problems during cuffing season – particularly when both parties are on different pages. Once you notice those tell-tale signs that you are falling for the other person, make sure to have the chat about where you see it going. If they admit that they are not looking for something serious then don’t assume that a short fling over winter will change their mind, because the chances are you will develop strong feelings and end up getting hurt.

Take it slow

One of the biggest tell-tale signs of cuffing season is someone’s haste to get tied down and make things exclusive. Don’t let the worry of spending the upcoming holiday season alone tint your outlook on how you feel about that person and where you see the relationship going. While having someone for the winter months may seem like a good thing in the short-term (after all who hasn’t had those thoughts that it would be better to be with someone than alone), coupling up with someone who just isn’t right for you for the sake of banishing loneliness is likely to land you in a messy situation further down the line.

Set healthy boundaries

If you have found yourself in an autumn romance and it’s showing the signs of a cuffing situationship, don’t panic! Many people struggle with setting healthy boundaries, but the only person you have to answer to is you. So, if you are not on board with a short-term fling, let them know. That way, you can focus your energy on finding the relationship that you are really looking for instead of wasting your time and feelings on something that is doomed from the start.

Rely on the support of those around you

Loneliness can be hard but starting a relationship so you don’t have to be alone is even harder. Make time for your friends and family and the activities that you enjoy to ease some of that loneliness and boredom and distract you from your single status. After all, how many times have you heard people say that they found love when they stopped looking for it?

If finding someone is still high on your radar, then why not enlist the help of the professionals? By joining a dating agency, you will have access to a dedicated matchmaker who will be there to support you every step of the way and work closely with you to find that person that you have been looking for. Taking the mystery and time wasting out of dating, you can be sure that those you are introduced to are looking for that long-term, committed relationship that you have in your heart. 

If you are single and looking for a way to avoid the perils of cuffing season, then get in touch with our friendly team today, where are expert matchmakers are ready to help you find a loving relationship that lasts beyond the winter.

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Too many fish in the sea? Here’s why you should only date one person at a time

Are you tired of the constant swiping, answering the same questions over and over again and seeing potential partners fizzle out to nothing only to end up at the bottom of your inbox?

It sounds like you could be on your way to dating burnout, and there are probably several reasons for this.

Constantly starting new conversations, talking to multiple people at once and never knowing if someone is being honest with you can take its toll on even the most resilient singles. Yet, so many people are still taking this multi-approach to dating.

If any of this sounds familiar, this blog post is for you. Below, we’re going to take a look at why dating just one person at a time could actually be the answer to your dating problems and why the talented matchmakers at Ignite Dating prefer this approach.

Why do people default to dating multiple people?

In a recent news story, a young TikTok content creator shared how she had asked for feedback from a Tinder match when he ghosted her after just two dates.

His reply? Well, with so many options available, he didn’t want to be tied down.

And it seems to be the case for lots of people out there. This is just one of the key reasons that so many single people choose to use saturated dating apps and date multiple people at once, others include the fact that:

  • They are experimenting with dating
  • They are trying to avoid starting a relationship too quickly
  • They are not ready to start dating properly
  • They are looking for validation and attention from different sources
  • They are keeping their options open
  • They are letting their libido make decisions for them
  • They believe there are plenty of fish in the sea

Why dating multiple people can do more harm than good

Dating is the discovery phase during a (potential) relationship. It’s the point at which you ask questions, start getting to know one another and look for any major red flags. Without fully embracing this stage and giving each match the time to carry out this essential due diligence, you could end up with the wrong person.

After all, if you blindly bluster through the dating journey, seeing multiple people, you might find you end up ignoring red flags that could become an issue at a later date. Not only that, but you will find that by keeping your options open, you essentially become emotionally unavailable and sit on the fence when on a date. This means that you might miss out on some potentially great connections and relationships because you were too focused on whether something better is on the horizon rather than concentrating on the opportunity right in front of you. 

Worse still, if you have a pattern of being involved with, for instance, emotionally stunted partners or those who cheat, you might end up just dating the same person over and over again. And you should always avoid dating an ex (or someone very similar to an ex).

All of the above is exactly why multiple dating can be heartbreaking, confusing and, let’s face it, stressful!

Why our matchmakers believe in setting up one match at a time

Now, don’t get us wrong, we’re not saying that you can’t have fun on your dating journey, and you can’t meet multiple people before settling down. However, our talented team of matchmakers prefer to work on a one match at a time basis. Ultimately, this is a method that has proven successful time and time again.  

To do this, they will get to know you and what you want from a relationship by using the perfect combination of Myers-Briggs personality profiling, experience, intuition and their extensive private network. This way, they can match you with like-minded, successful singles who complement you and your lifestyle.

And by dating just one person at a time, you are more likely to be emotionally available, build genuine connections and be your authentic self when out on dates. You’re also more likely to recognise if someone isn’t right for you before you’ve dedicated too much time to the relationship.

So, if you’re tired of dating apps and you’re ready to find someone who you share a genuine connection with, get in touch with the team at Ignite Dating today. As an elite matchmaking consultancy, our expert team of matchmakers are on hand to help you every step of the way.

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Why you shouldn’t be afraid to make the first move

We are taught very early on in our lives that men love the chase and that playing hard to get is the best way for women to capture their attention. But this is simply not the case.

In 2021, we must ditch those outdated rules that shame women who choose to make the first move. After all, it’s never easy to make the first move when you like someone, especially if you’re more of an introvert. But taking this step becomes a lot easier if you give yourself permission to do so.

So, if you’ve been debating whether to ask someone out for a while now or been wondering whether to be the first to express your feelings, we’re here to explain why you shouldn’t be afraid to make the first move and more importantly, why you shouldn’t judge yourself when you do.

Good things come to those who go out and get them

You’ve probably heard the famous saying, good things come to those who wait, but that just isn’t true.

Think about it; if you want a new phone, you don’t just sit at home hoping that someone will magically bring one to your door – you go out, and you get one. Much in the same way that when you want that promotion at work, you don’t just sit on the sidelines and hope for results. Instead, you speak to your boss, explain why you deserve it, and then work hard to prove it.

And the same rules apply in the dating world.

If you sit back and wait for someone to come to you, what’s to stop another successful single from snapping them up before you get the chance?

Nothing! This is why you should never be afraid to get out there and make the first move. Those that get up and chase what they want are more likely to succeed, and that applies to relationships too.

Don’t live with regrets

They say in the end that we regret the things that we don’t do in life, not the things that we do, and it is often those missed opportunities that hurt the most.

And when it comes to dating the same is true. Sitting back and waiting for the perfect partner to come to you could leave you lonely and full of regret, especially as you see those closest to you or even those old crushes settle down and enjoy happy, long-lasting relationships.

So instead of spending years thinking ‘what if’ or ‘what could have happened’, you need to take the chance yourself and make a move. And hey, even if it doesn’t work out in the end, at least you know you did all you could, and you won’t be left regretting the move you never made.

Don’t leave anything to chance

If you leave it to someone else to make the first move, there is a lot of ambiguity and room for confusion. While you may think that you are sending out all the right signals and flashing that green light, if the other person hasn’t picked up on them or the signs aren’t showing off how you’re really feeling, you’re leaving everything to chance.

After all, they might be confused about whether you’re open to a relationship or what you expect from them. And if they are just as unsure about making that first move as you, you could both find that the opportunity passes you by with neither of you ever taking that step. Whereas, if you make that first move yourself, you leave nothing to chance as you know exactly what you want and can start as you mean to go on in your new dating journey.

Timing is everything

Finally, timing is everything, and if you wait for the ‘perfect’ moment, you could find it’s too little too late.

While we understand that you might want to wait for a great hair day, for a day when the sun is shining, or for a day when Mercury is in retrograde, you may find that you will be waiting a while. And by the time all those perfect instances align; you might find that your crush has moved on and found someone else or perhaps even relocated too far from you.

So essentially, what we’re saying is, don’t sit back and wait for what you want or it might be too late. Make that first move and get your dating journey off to an exciting start – you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

If sitting around and waiting for that perfect partner hasn’t worked for you so far, get in touch with our friendly team and find out how they can give you the confidence to start your dating journey and change your dating game.

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10 signs of true intimacy in a relationship

In the early stages of a relationship, cute morning texts, spontaneous lunches and surprise bouquets of flowers are great! But there comes a time in every relationship when you need something more.

You need your partner to be able to read your mood, support you emotionally and allow you to be your truest self. But developing an intimate relationship with someone doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, commitment, and trust.

If you’re not sure whether you and your partner have reached this level of intimacy yet, here are 10 signs of true intimacy to look out for in your relationship.

1. You can be vulnerable around them

One of the most important aspects of any relationship is being able to open up to your partner about anything and still feel loved. If you’re unable to truly say what you’re feeling and thinking for fear of them being judgmental or getting angry, it’s a surefire sign that your relationship might not have achieved true intimacy just yet.

2. Raw honesty doesn’t scare you

Following on from the last point, an intimate relationship requires partners to be honest with one another and to also offer honest feedback. For example, letting them know if something they do upsets you or if you’re not in a financial position to buy or do something they wanted to.

Though this might mean initial disappointment or the need to adjust and change to begin with, being willing to adapt in your relationship is a sign of true intimacy.

3. You appreciate nonsexual intimacy

In the early stages, sexual intimacy is often more heightened, but as time goes on you learn to appreciate physical affection outside of sex. This can be anything from holding hands to a kiss on the cheek or even a massage after a long day at work.

4. You respect each other’s boundaries

Being open and honest with your partner means sharing your insecurities and setting out your personal boundaries. Whether these boundaries are sexual, physical, or emotional, true intimacy means understanding and respecting these boundaries.

5. You don’t feel judged

If you can say or do anything (within reason, of course) without feeling judged, this is a sign of true intimacy. For example, being open about your sexual preferences or confessing when you need a break from their family or friends without being scared of hurting their feelings.

6. You can rely on them if things go wrong

Life can be tough and there can be unexpected challenges, so you need someone you can rely on to help and support you through these times. If you know you can whole-heartedly rely on them when things go wrong no matter what the situation, this is a sure sign that you’ve achieved true intimacy.

7. You have an unspoken language

Can just one side glance tell you exactly what they’re thinking? Perhaps you can read their facial expressions like a book, and they don’t even have to say a word? This unspoken language and way of communicating shows that you know each other inside and out.

8. You make each other a priority

When you’ve been together a while, it’s easy to fall into a daily routine. Between juggling work, hobbies, friends and family, you might find that you stop making time for one another.

But itt has been proven that couples that make time for each other with at least one date night a month are less likely to break up. By prioritising each other and spending quality time together regularly, you can achieve deeper intimacy and increased levels of communication.

9. They’re always the first person you want to talk to

Whether you’ve heard juicy gossip, something upsetting, a funny joke or life-changing news, your partner is always the first person you want to share this with. If this is the case for yourself and your partner, this is a sign that your intimacy is strong and that, ultimately, they are your best friend.

10. You actually put your phones down

Finally, it might sound like the bare minimum to expect but putting your phone down when talking to your partner,  has become a real issue in relationships in today’s digital age. In fact, a study found that 70% of people confess that mobile phone usage frequently interferes with their relationships.

But if you’ve found a partner that puts down their phone when you’re spending together and gives you their undivided attention, this is a more modern sign of true intimacy.

If you’re single and need help finding that partner to achieve true intimacy with then look no further. Get in touch with our expert team and find out how they can help you achieve that long-term, successful relationship that you’ve been searching for. 

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Matchmaking: is it an art or a science?

“Oh, I think you’d really like my friend Tom from work; you have a lot in common.”

“Did you want me to set you up with my sister’s roommate? She’s such a lovely girl.”

Do these conversations sound familiar?

When you’re single, it can feel like everyone you know suddenly turns into a matchmaker trying to help you on the quest to find that perfect partner.

The problem is, this can lead people to think that the matchmaking process is simple and easy – you just find two people that like similar things and set them up, right?

Well, the reality is quite different. It’s not as straightforward as just connecting two people that you like and hoping that they like each other too. Matchmaking requires a careful mixture of intuition, expertise, personality profiling, technology, and networking for the best results.

It is a careful balance between art and science, and we’re going to share with you how the two elements combine in more detail below.

How is science used in matchmaking and the dating industry?

Successful matchmakers rely on important scientific principles to help them determine the success of a match and connect the right people.

At Ignite Dating, we use Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) to better understand the personality type and preferences of our clients. For example, how they get their energy, how they learn, how they make decisions and how they like to organise their time. This information can then be used to help match them with like-minded individuals who complement their personality type.

MBTI is not specific to the team at Ignite Dating, it is in fact a type of psychometric testing that is commonly used in recruitment and corporate environments. Although it is common in matchmaking too, some dating agencies prefer to use other scientific principles and tools to help them with their dating services.

This may be the use of algorithms and databases as part of their matchmaking processes, another good example of how science and, more specifically, technology has become a key part of the dating industry. After all, no matter whether you are a traditional agency or an elite matchmaking consultancy like ourselves, technology still has a part to play in successful matchmaking.

At Ignite Dating, our matchmakers use a unique mix of intuition, industry expertise, knowledge, and MBTI to select a potential introduction, based on the qualities and traits that are important to their clients. However, it is not simply enough to rely on this. In addition, to ensure the prospective relationship has the best chance for success long-term, all matches are run through an industry-specific algorithm to check that it is a good match and only those that achieve over 90 percent match will be presented as an introduction.

What about the art side of matchmaking?

As well as relying on psychometric profiling and technology, there is also a certain amount of knowledge and instinct that needs to be applied to effective matchmaking. To be a successful matchmaker you need to have strong emotional intelligence and a sixth sense when it comes to people – a skill that you are usually born with and not something that can be taught or learnt.

This is a trait that the team at Ignite Dating all possess. Matchmakers can use this intuition to quickly decide if two people are likely to work well together, saving their clients’ time, effort and awkward dates with people who are not right for them.

They also spend their time getting to know each client on a very personal and individual basis (including the use of MBTI to understand their personality). This helps them to find a suitable match that shares the same values, aspirations, and lifestyle as their client, as well as a complementary personality type.

So, is matchmaking an art or a science?

Ultimately, matchmaking should not be classed as either an art or science. Instead, the two factors must work in harmony for the perfect process and a successful match.

This way, matchmakers can ensure that they’re introducing their clients to like-minded individuals who share not only their passions and ambitions, but also personality types that will complement one another.

This is important for the bigger aspects in life, as well as the smaller details that make up our every day. After all, relationships aren’t just about the big romantic gestures or life-altering moments; they are also about being happy together on a daily basis and working through any issues in a healthy manner when life throws a curveball your way.

If you’re single, have found that the alternative ways of dating aren’t working for you or simply looking for a new way to date then get in touch with our expert team today and find out how they can use art and science to help find that perfect partner for you. 

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What is Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and how does it help you find love?

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) was developed by Isabel Myers and her mother, Katherine Briggs, during World War II.

Their work came off the back of Jung’s theory of psychological types, as well as their own observations of the marked differences between personality types. They began researching and developing the concept and then tested their theory on their friends and family.

This led to extensive research, and the pair quickly realised that the theory could have real-world applications. They penned their first version of the assessment in the 1940s, and continued to develop the tool over the next couple of decades.

But what exactly is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)?

The MBTI assessment is a psychometric tool that was created as a way of identifying a person’s personality type, strengths and preferences. The assessment is conducted using a questionnaire, and the results provide insight into what makes you who you are.

It is one of the most popular and widely recognised personality assessments used today. It has a number of applications, for example, in business, educational and counselling settings to support recruitment, build teams, develop self-awareness, and of course, in the dating world.

The MBTI helps us to understand personality preferences in key areas, including: 

  • Extraversion Vs introversion – How you get your energy
  • Sensing Vs intuition – How you absorb information and learn
  • Thinking Vs feeling – How you make decisions
  • Judging Vs perceiving – How you like to organise your time and environment

In doing so, people can better understand themselves. Myers and Briggs believed this would be important for helping people select their occupation, lead healthier lives and find love and happiness.

What are the different personality types?

After taking the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator assessment, you will be given a four-letter score that represents your personality type. There are 16 different types as identified by Myers and Briggs, and though we won’t outline them all below, some examples include: 

  • ESFP – Performer, entertainer, artisan
  • ISTP – Crafter, operator, artisan
  • ENFJ – Teacher, mentor, idealist
  • INFP – Healer, advocate, idealist
  • ENTJ – Field marshal, coordinator, rational
  • INTP – Architect, engineer, rational
  • ISTJ – Inspector, administrator, guardian

How is MBTI used in dating?

At Ignite Dating, we conduct MBTI as part of our interview process. This can be done either verbally or via online self-assessment, but either way, the test will generate your four-letter score (as outlined above).

We then add this score to your profile and use it to get a better and deeper understanding of your personality, preferences, behaviours and communication habits. This helps our matchmakers find your perfect partner!

Are you ready to take the test?

If you want to know more about your personality type so that you can make more informed decisions moving forward, or if you’d like to boost your chances of finding the perfect partner, it might be time that you took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator assessment!

And if you’d like to know more about how we apply MBTI and use your results to help you find love, get in touch with the team at Ignite Dating today. If you think this approach is right for you, the team can help you to complete your assessment right away.