From going steady in the 80s, to avoiding scrubs
in the 90s and looking for your boo in the 00s, dating lingo is always changing
and some of the new trends that emerge are entertaining, to say the least! So
if you’re feeling nostalgic for the times when you’d make a mixtape for your
crush, never fear! As the dating world changes to adapt to social media, apps
like Tinder and our always-on culture, dating lingo is getting even better.
In fact, in 2020 you can breadcrumb someone (lead them on with no intention of getting serious), slide into their DMs (send them a private message on social media), catfish them (pretend to be someone you’re not) and even find yourself being Marleyed (being contacted out of the blue by an ex on Christmas day).
But one of our favourites and one phrase that
seems to be sticking around is ghosting. You may or may not be familiar with
this term, but below we’re going to tell you a little bit about it so you can
recognise if you’ve ever been ghosted before – or perhaps if you’re being
ghosted right now!
What is ghosting?
Ghosting is essentially when you ignore someone’s messages (and
general existence) and disappear from their lives without any real explanation.
People do this because they may have met someone else or because it’s easier
than having to tell someone they don’t like them or want to date them anymore.
So to be ghosted means to have someone stop
replying to your messages or answering your calls, without actually letting you
know they don’t want a relationship from you. This can be quite a hurtful
experience, especially in the age of instant messaging. But sadly it is
becoming more and more common.
Have you ever been
ghosted?
Have you ever been on a few dates or begun messaging someone, only for them to phase you out or stop talking to you quite abruptly? You might have wondered what was going on at the time, you might have thought that the relationship had simply run its course, or perhaps if you were talking to more than one person, you didn’t notice this particular one had slipped away. Either way, you were probably ghosted.
How to get over it
If you really like the person you’re dating,
ghosting can be quite a difficult pill to swallow. After all, they could at
least give you an explanation and let you know they don’t want to see you
anymore – even if it is hard to hear. But if you’ve found you have been
ghosted, don’t let it get you down, there are several things you can do to get
over it:
Acknowledge your feelings
because it’s OK to be upset about it
Don’t be too hard on yourself,
it says more about them than it does you
Reflect that it’s maybe less
painful than a massive argument
Talk it out with friends or
family
Accept that it’s happened but
that it’s not the end of your dating life
Move on and continue to search
– they obviously weren’t right for you anyway (this is the really important
one!!)
Tired of being ghosted? At Ignite, we understand that finding the right person takes time and that you might occasionally find yourself in situations where you’re ghosted by someone you liked. But we’re here to support you on your journey, to introduce you to potential partners who you have a lot in common with and to help you move on and carry on the search if it doesn’t work out. Get in touch with our friendly team today.
Among today’s non-stop,
technology driven culture, it’s unsurprising that more and more of us are
turning to technology to fill our boredom and to look for love.
With virtual meetings in the
workplace now being commonplace, and having instant access to devices such as
smartphones, game consoles, not to mention an almost unlimited choice of
television shows, the art of effective communication for dating using body language
could almost be said to be an endangered skill.
The irony is, as humans, we crave
a deeper level of connection with others, one in which we can accurately
express ourselves and our emotions without having to rely on the use of an
emoji or meme, and this level of communication undoubtedly cannot be fulfilled
through technology alone.
The Aura of confidence
Have you ever been sat in a bar or a coffee shop, opposite someone and intuitively been able to pick up on what type of person they might be? You may even say they’re giving off a certain type of ‘aura‘
However you label these feelings
and thoughts, what is undeniable, is that you are basing these first
impressions of them from their body language!
I wonder if you have ever thought
about how you are being perceived, and what type of messages you are sending
through your own body language? Do you think people see you as being confident,
shy, or even aggressive?
With over 90% of communication
being nonverbal, it’s little wonder that we’re able to form an opinion of
someone without even speaking to them.
All of us at one time or another
have been in a situation where we have tried to find the perfect words to say
to someone we were attracted to, when all along these words we were looking for
was only accounting for 7% of the communication we’re sending. Were we focusing
as hard on the other 93%?
And while we all know that your
mood affects your body language, remember it’s just as true the other way round
– your physicality impacts your psychology. This means, if you carry yourself
confidently then not only will other people notice, but you will also feel more
confident.
Dynamic dating
We can all agree that the ways in which we can now find love using technology has undoubtedly been a game changer for the dating world. However, through these times of change, what has survived, and for the most part, not been impacted, is how we still make those important first and lasting impressions during a date- when we come face to face and actually meet the other person.
Being great at texting and
talking on the phone is one thing, but making a great first impression face to
face is a completely different ball game.
I want to share with you some of
the effective nonverbal and body language techniques to use for making that
great impression on the first date.
Eye contact
We’ve all heard the saying “The
eyes are the window of the soul” and in the world of dating this is very much
true. Someone’s eyes can tell you how the other person is feeling, even if they
don’t tell you out loud. Eye contact can also be far more intimate than words.
One of the most important ways of
portraying confidence is effective eye contact.
This doesn’t mean you need to be
constantly staring at the other person like they’re your next meal, but a good
level of eye contact when your eyes meet can be attractive, flirtatious and
display confidence; but watch out for any eye rolling- you want to be showing
your interest, not your boredom or disapproval.
Smile, it’s contagious
Although it may sound obvious, a simple smile can work
wonders. Not only is it a universal sign of happiness, it
also releases endorphins, a natural
feel-good chemical to
actually make you feel
happier.
When we smile at another
person, it hits their mirror neurons and they may involuntarily smile
back.
Of course I’m not saying you
need to walk around smiling like a Cheshire cat all the time, but a smile will
make you more approachable and attractive.
Posture
Don’t be a sloucher! If you want
to be more attractive and catch someone’s attention, then you should be aware
of how you’re sitting, standing and how you carry yourself.
Great posture sends positive
messages, and you’re also projecting confidence. You want this to be open and
to avoid being closed off, that means, sit up straight, lean towards them
slightly if you’re sitting down together, and show them you are interested
through your body language.
Watch those hands
Hands can tell you a lot about a
person. If you want to show someone that you feel at ease and comfortable
around them, you can do this by having open hands and not hiding them. Because
you want to portray confidence, you don’t want to fidget or hide them.
You use your hands to help
express how you feel – if you were to put your favorite show on mute for 5
minutes, you could probably pick up on how the characters were interacting just
by watching their hand gestures. So don’t shut them off, but make sure they’re
sending the right signals – open and positive.
Finally, one other thing about
hands – you use them to check your phone. We all do it, but the last thing your
date wants to see you doing is constantly staring at it, as if you’re more
interested in what’s on with your phone than them. So, general rule of thumb –
stay off it.
Positioning
Ok, let’s talk about feet. Now
you may be wondering ‘what on earth can someone’s feet tell me about another
person?!’ Quite a lot, actually! For instance, if you notice that the person
you’re talking to is positioned with their feet slightly pointing towards
another person, this could be an indicator they want to be talking to them
instead. To be comfortable and relaxed, your feet also should be around 6-8
inches apart aligned with your body. Too wide apart can be assertive and
threatening – too narrow and you’ll fall over! Most people will focus so much
on their upper body and face movements, they will completely forget about
what’s going on down below.
Mirroring
Opposites attract, right? Wrong!!
And there’s a large amount of research to back this up – it turns out that
we’re actually more attracted to people that we’re similar to or aspire to be
like, and mirroring is body language telling you so. Mirroring is essentially
copying the body language of the other person to create and demonstrate rapport.
It is typically subconscious, so if you were to notice the other person
mirroring you, this could be a sign that they’re interested. You can do it on
purpose to build commonality but this has to be done outside the other person’s
conscious awareness so they don’t pick up on what you’re doing, otherwise they
may just think you’re faking it or even making fun of them!
So, the next time you’re out on a
romantic date, trying to impress someone, or want to get into rapport, then
don’t forget about what your body language is saying about you – and make sure
it’s the message you want to be sending!
At Ignite Dating, we understand the importance of finding the right person for you. Someone who complements your personality and lifestyle. That’s why we spend time getting to know you, so we can use a perfect mixture of Myers Briggs personality profiling, your feedback and our expertise to match you with great potential partners. If you’d like to know more about how we can help you find love,get in touch with our friendly team today.
The 1990s.. what a time to be alive! The Stone
Roses, Sex in the City or Friends (or both), Gladiators, Pulp Fiction, Blur vs
Oasis, Keanu, the Spice Girls – oh, and Mandela was freed!
And an even better time to be on the dating scene. From making mixtapes to talking for three hours on the landline, getting ready for your date (with the help of your friends) was just as exciting as actually going on it. And of course, most of us learnt to navigate the dating world with the help of Cilla and Graham.
But it’s now 2020, Blind Date has been replaced
with Take Me Out, Tinder has changed the way people meet and sadly cassettes
are no longer a thing (I suppose you could always make your date a playlist on
Spotify). So how much has the dating landscape changed in the last 30 years and
are the dating rules of 2020 the same as they were in 1990?
The rules for dating in 1990
During the 1990s a very controversial book was
released called ‘The Rules’ which claimed to be a time-tested guide
to dating. Even for back then, it was full of some ridiculous and outdated
suggestions – for example, don’t look at your date too much and don’t tell them
what you want in bed – but despite this, there were some generally
well-accepted rules for dating in the 90s. These were:
Pick your date up from their
house – typically this means the man would go to the woman’s home instead of
meeting at the chosen venue
Have a plan and something
booked for the evening – don’t just wing it!
Ask questions and get to know
them – don’t just talk about yourself
Don’t sleep with each other on
the first date – remember the five date rule
Generally, men pick up the
cheque at the end of the date – it’s the gentlemanly thing to do
If you like them, call them –
calling on the landline or leaving a message on the answerphone shows them the
date went well
Are these rules still relevant in 2020?
Clearly, there are some of these rules no longer
apply, thanks in most part to big strides in equality and technology, and for
the most part we should be grateful for that. For example, men are no longer
expected to pick up the bill and it’s certainly less taboo to hook up on the
first date. It is also no longer necessary for the man to pick up his date at
her home – in fact, it is safer and recommended that you meet at the venue or
in a public space during the early stages of dating.
That said, some of these rules – and arguably the less offensive ones – still remain today. It can be nice to have a plan for your date and you should always ask questions and get to know one another. Calling your date to let them know you had a good time is also appreciated, though nowadays WhatsApp seems to be the preferred method of communication. And to be honest, we’re a bit nostalgic for some 90s trends like writing little messages to one another on Post-It notes and being fully present during a date (not checking your mobile phone every two minutes)!
So I guess what we’re saying here is that the rules of dating have certainly changed over the last 30 years, with technology and equality playing a huge role in this. That said, some are as true as they have ever been and one or two others might make the dating world a better place. So let’s bring back the good parts and leave the rest in the 90s where they belong.
At Ignite Dating, we understand that the times have changed, but we know that dating agencies still remain a great and successful way to meet people. Our dedicated matchmakers are there to help you navigate the world of dating in 2020 and to find you the perfect match. If you’d like to know more, get in touch with our friendly team today.
In the era of dating apps and social media, you
might think matchmaking is a bit of an outdated profession. But nothing could
be further from the truth! Tinder is all well and good in the early stages of
your dating life, but many quickly become bored with the casual hookups, fake
accounts and deciding whether to swipe right on someone based on just 500
characters or less.
In fact, when you’re looking for a long-term
partner, someone you can share a genuine connection with, dating apps can be a
real let down. That’s why many hopeful singles will retire their profiles and
turn to dating agencies to help them find true love instead.
There are a huge number of benefits to using
matchmakers, in particular that they take their time to get to know you so they
can help you find someone who complements your lifestyle and shares your
dreams. But if you’re still not sure why you should outsource your dating life
to a professional, here are nine things a matchmaker can do for you.
1. They work while you do
Gone are the days when you only had your evenings and weekends to spend flicking through dating apps or trying to meet someone in your favourite bar. Matchmakers are dedicated professionals, working tirelessly to find you the perfect partner. While you work, do your grocery shopping, go to the dentist or spend time with friends, they’ll be working hard for you.
2. They use their emotional intelligence to
help you find the right match
Being a successful matchmaker is all about being
emotionally intelligent and having a sixth sense about people. This is very
often a skill they are born with and not something that can be taught or
learnt. Matchmakers can use this intuition to quickly decide if two people are likely
to work well together – particularly impressive given how unpredictable and
mysterious love can be. This saves you time, effort and awkward dates with
people who really aren’t right for you, protecting you from the stress and
heartache that can accompany dating.
3. They act like a life coach and therapist
When you’re working with a matchmaker you’ll
quickly find they become a friend and life coach as well. This is because
looking for love can be a tiring, emotional and sometimes long journey and you
need someone who is there to support you and encourage you to keep going, even
after a particularly rubbish date or when a relationship doesn’t quite work out.
They are the perfect combination of life coach, therapist and matchmaker. They listen to you and really get to know you. They give you a chance to talk about past relationships and then they motivate you to stay positive and strong, knowing that it can take time but you will eventually find the right person.
4. They run the background checks
Another huge benefit of using a matchmaker is
that they will run background checks. Sadly, apps like Tinder have become a
prime location for fraudulent accounts and cybercriminals looking to scam the unsuspecting
and vulnerable. Not only this but with no background checks, people can be
whoever they want to be – even if that
means they tell some pretty big lies in their bio.
Matchmakers can run ID and background checks to
make sure every individual you meet is legitimate and is who they say they are.
This gives you an increased sense of security and also means you aren’t going
to be disappointed by meeting someone who wasn’t at all what you expected.
5. They get to know what you want
One of the most important things a matchmaker will do is spend some time really getting to know you. If they hope to use their skills to find your perfect match, they first need to know more about who you are and what it is you want from a partner – and this includes even the smallest details. You’ll be surprised how even the tiniest bit of information about yourself can help them to find you a partner with similar interests, ambitions and aspirations, hugely important when you’re looking for a long-term relationship.
6. They help you to learn about yourself
One of the greatest and most surprising benefits
of using a matchmaker is that they can help you to learn so much about
yourself. You might think you know exactly what you want in a partner, but
after a few conversations with your matchmaker (and perhaps an unsuccessful
date or two), you might find that they’ve asked some interesting questions and
you begin to re-evaluate what it is you want from a relationship.
They can also give you more confidence and help
you to relax. When you’re dating, it can be an additional stress worrying about
whether someone likes you back or if there is a common romantic interest. Using
a matchmaker can help to make this much clearer and after a while, even though
dates may not always work out, you’ll come to feel better about the fact that
they obviously weren’t right for you.
Ultimately, most people find the whole process of using a matchmaker eye-opening and they actually learn a lot about themselves. This can then help them to have more successful and fulfilling relationships overall, and more fun and less stress on the journey.
7. They will be honest with you
It’s not always their favourite part of the job
but matchmakers will always be honest with you – because they have to be if
they want to help you find the right person! Although it’s not always nice to
hear either, if you’ve been on a date and the other person didn’t feel a
connection, they’ll let you know right away. This way you can move on and begin
meeting with other potential partners who may feel more of a spark.
They can also help to take some of the mystery
and anxiety out of dating. Sitting by your phone for days waiting for a reply
or wondering why your last date completely ghosted you is never fun. By being
honest, your matchmaker will keep you motivated and on track to finding true
love.
8. They give you a more personal experience
Dating apps, blind dates or speed dating
sessions can feel very shallow and sometimes very cold and impersonal. By
choosing to work with a matchmaker they’ll give you a much more personal and
enjoyable dating journey.
After all, anyone can hide behind their keyboard and spend hours swiping right on dating apps, but this is often dissatisfying and can leave people feeling bitter or depressed about the dating world. Joining up with a matchmaker can help to turn this around and get you excited about dating again.
9. They can help you find love
Last but certainly not least, perhaps the most obvious benefit of all, matchmakers can help you to find true love. Using their skills, emotional intelligence and time, they can help you to find the perfect partner. And trust us, once you’ve signed up you’ll be forever glad you put your love life in their very capable hands.
At Ignite Dating, our expert matchmakers use a mixture of Myers Briggs personality profiling, intuition and their expertise to match you with potential partners. We offer support and absolute discretion when presenting you with matches and your dedicated matchmaker will work closely with you to get a better understanding of what it is you want from a partner. They will then present you with carefully selected and vetted matches so you can begin your journey to finding true love. Join us today.
Whether you live in Hampshire and the
surrounding areas or you just fancied a change of scenery, this gorgeous county
can be the ideal location for your next date. The perfect blend of cities,
coastlines and sweeping countrysides, you’re sure to find something that you’ll
both love. You can spend days exploring the national parks or dine out in the
ancient capital of England, and there are plenty of romantic settings to set
the mood for your big date.
So if you’re looking for inspiration for the
perfect date in Hampshire, look no further. Below are six ideas for beautiful
days out and romantic evenings full of fine dining and entertainment.
1. Bombay Sapphire Distillery
Are you a gin enthusiast? Then why not take a guided tour around the Bombay Sapphire Distillery in Whitchurch. You’ll be shown around the distillery and taken on a sensory experience in the Botanical Dry Room, before enjoying a complimentary drink in the Mill Bar. This could be the perfect way to set the tone for your evening, before heading off into the night (perhaps to drink more gin!).
2. Catch a show at the Anvil
The Anvil Arts in Basingstoke has hosted a huge range
of famous guests over the years. So whether you like stand up comedy, music,
drama or even dance, you’re sure to find something to keep you both entertained
for the evening.
3. New Forest National Park
Enjoy a day (or even a weekend) exploring the New Forest National Park. Home to a number of quaint little towns and villages, plus plenty of beautiful walking routes, you’ll be spoilt for choice on your date. Here you can make the most of nature. So why not sit and have a picnic as you watch the wildlife go by or, if you’re keen cyclists or feeling a bit more active, grab your bikes and go for a ride around one of the many forest routes.
4. Dine out in Winchester
Did you know that Winchester used to be the
capital of England? It’s no wonder then that this historic town can make for a
very interesting and romantic night out. Along its cobbled streets are a number
of delicious places to stop for dinner, from cosy pubs to Michelin starred
restaurants. The tricky part is deciding where to go!
5. Spinnaker tower and Gunwharf Quays
Why not arrange a day out in Portsmouth, culminating in an evening of food and drink. Kickstart the day by visiting the 170-metre Spinnaker Tower and enjoying breathtaking views from the top. After this, you can enjoy a bit of shopping, eating and drinking around Gunwharf Quays, a beautiful waterfront outlet with over 30 bars and restaurants to choose from.
6. Beaulieu
If you’re looking for something a little different, Beaulieu is a beautiful small village in the New Forest. Home to the National Motor Museum, Beaulieu Abbey, a monorail and beautiful grounds and gardens, you can plan a fun and relaxing day out at this award-winning village.
If you’re looking for love in Hampshire, we can help! At Ignite Dating, we’ll take our time to get to know you and what you want from a partner, so we can help you find your perfect match. Join us today and soon it could be you organising a date at one of the romantic venues listed above.
You probably know the feeling, that moment when your phone pings with a message from that special someone. It’s enough to fill your stomach with butterflies and put a big smile on your face for the rest of the day but have you got the perfect texting relationship?
Since the early noughties, texting has played a big part in how we form new relationships (we all remember Nelly texting Kelly from the party, right?). Being able to communicate back and forth with each other throughout the day, without having to set aside time for an actual phone call, revolutionised the dating world some twenty years ago.
And though nowadays you may be more likely to use instant messaging apps like WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger to chat up a new love interest, the same rules still apply.
To this day, texting is an important part of making connections and nurturing new relationships. Which is why we thought we’d help you to perfect your texting game, so you can always have your date coming back for more.
Create anticipation
One of the great things about texting is that although it is readily available and you can tap out a message in a matter of seconds, it’s great for building up the suspense over a longer period of time. Encouraging flirty or romantic conversations can build up real anticipation and excitement for the next time you see each other in person.
Plus, you don’t have to reply straight away, as things take a flirty turn, why not wait for a little while and keep them on their toes. That way they’ll be eagerly awaiting your response, helping to build this anticipation. Of course, don’t wait days or even hours to reply as this can be a sign you’re not interested, but just keep them waiting long enough to have them hooked.
Put thought into the language you’re using
As with any sort of writing, texting can be a real art form. Think about how much careful planning and thought went into creating your last online dating profile or your Facebook page, now consider the language you use when writing your texts.
Words are everything when you can’t see someone’s body language or when you have only met someone a handful of times. You need to be very careful and selective with your language when texting in order to capture their attention and leave them wanting more. You also want to be careful that you’re not coming across too full on or perhaps even too shy. In the early stages of dating, it’s best to keep it light and fun as you get to know one another.
For example, instead of saying ‘can we arrange another date?’ why not say something more casual and flirty like ‘so when do I get to see you again?’. This suggests that you enjoyed meeting them and want to see them again, but it relieves some of the pressure and could just be another step to perfect the perfect texting relationship.
We’re not suggesting you spend hours agonising over every reply, just choose your words wisely. Don’t be afraid to use flirty and friendly language, this just adds to the excitement in the early stages. And hey, if you really want to feel like a giggling 18-year-old again, why not read the text out to one of your close friends and get their seal of approval too.
Get to know one another
Texting gives you the perfect opportunity to get to know one another, to ask questions, share jokes and find out what you have in common. It can also be great to start speaking to each other this way before setting up an official date, as this can give you some talking points when you do meet in person.
That said, you don’t want to give too much away too soon, save something for your date night. Otherwise, you might find yourselves going round in circles talking about the same stuff over and over again. This means finding a balance when texting and this is a great skill to master in the early stages of a relationship.
Sometimes you might even want to scatter some proverbial breadcrumbs in your texts. Give them insights into stories or things they didn’t know about you before saying ‘I’ll tell you all about it when we next meet’. This gives you an instant talking point when you do see each other and helps to add to the anticipation we spoke about earlier. That way they’ll be excited to meet with you and find out more.
Talk about the things you have in common
The reason you’re getting on so well is probably that you have things in common and shared interests, so use these to keep the conversation flowing. Talk about movies you enjoyed or TV shows you’ve both watched. Perhaps you love the same bands and you’ve both been to see them in concert. Whatever it may be, use your common ground to keep the conversation flowing and to build rapport.
Do this to avoid flooding your conversation with mundane, everyday chat that could cause the conversation to fizzle out. We get it, Brenda in HR might have been driving you mad all day, but your new love interest doesn’t know Brenda and probably doesn’t want to hear about her! So avoid bitching and moaning or talking about the boring and humdrum. After all, you’re still in the early stages of getting to know one another, so you want to keep it fun and exciting.
Sometimes simplicity is key
In the early stages of the relationship you might find yourself penning (well typing) long messages to each other that could rival the work of Shakespeare, putting thought into every word. But never underestimate the effectiveness and simplicity of a quick text message just to let them know you’re thinking about them.
Imagine them waking up and looking at their phone to see a simple ‘good morning’ or ‘have a great day’ text from you. This shows that you’re thinking about them and can be enough to change their mood and have them daydreaming about you for the rest of the day.
Remember this is supposed to be fun
One of the most important things to remember when perfecting your texting game in the early stages is that it’s supposed to be fun! So even though you will understandably want to put some time and thought into your texts, don’t let this become an obsession and certainly don’t find yourself waiting by the phone desperate for a reply.
Use texting (or WhatsApp or Messenger) as a way to get to know each other and begin to build rapport. To let your date know you’re thinking about them and to build up anticipation and tension for the next time you get to meet in person. Texting can be a real asset when you’ve met someone new, so don’t underestimate it.
Getting to know someone new is an exciting time. That’s why at Ignite Dating were dedicated to helping you find someone special, someone who will fill you with excitement each time your phone pings with a message from them. We use a range of tried and tested techniques to do this, but we’re most proud of our dedicated matchmakers who will work closely with you to find out what you want in a partner. If you’d like to know more about how we can help you find that special someone,get in touch with our friendly team today.
You’ve probably been asked on more than one
occasion what you look for in a partner. Often the most obvious answers come to
mind – you want them to be attractive, funny and kind. But people are complex
and no one is perfect, so over the years psychologists and scientists have
conducted a lot of research into exactly what men and women are looking for in
their significant other.
Every study has thrown up different results,
but largely come to the same conclusion: looks usually find themselves near the
bottom of the list, with traits such as honesty and kindness more likely to
appear at the top. And while everyone is different and will seek out different
things in their partners, research has highlighted some of the key personality
traits that are important to us.
We’re going to take a closer look at what
people really want in a partner and why these traits are so important for a
successful relationship.
Honesty
Honesty is a key component in any relationship,
which is probably why it is very often rated as one of the most important
attributes in a partner. Honesty is important on so many levels. No
relationship should be based on lies and you should always be able to be open
with the person you love. But it’s also about being honest about who you are as
a person and what you want from the future and from your relationship. Telling
the truth is important, just as long as it’s always in a constructive way that
both parties can use to improve and move forward in the relationship.
Confidence
Confidence is also consistently rated as one of
the most important traits in a partner. Being insecure can lead to a number of
issues in a relationship. Firstly, if you’re with someone who lacks confidence
they may constantly question your relationship. Secondly, their negative
feelings towards themselves aren’t just affecting them. They can also cause you
to feel like you’re not trying enough or cause you to be upset that your
partner is unhappy with themselves. These negative emotions can take their toll
on both of you, and can ultimately bring the relationship down.
Sense of humour
It seems like a bit of a cliché, but a sense of
humour is hugely important to lots of people. In fact, SBS did a study of people courting over
Facebook and Tinder and found that a sense of humour was ranked as the top trait
people were looking for in a potential partner. You spend so much of your life
with your significant other and most people want to be with someone who makes
them smile and laugh. This is especially true during difficult times when we
may need humour to help lift our mood and bring some positivity to the
situation.
Positivity
Positivity is hugely important in every aspect
of your life. If you are surrounded by negative people, it can be easy for
these feelings to be passed on to you and start to affect your emotions in a
detrimental way, and this is particularly true if you it’s someone you live
with or spend a lot of time with, such as your partner. Instead, people want to
date someone with a positive outlook who can try to see the brighter side of
things. Of course, there will always be times when this isn’t possible, but as
a general rule people want a partner who is a happy and positive person.
Ambition
Most of us have goals and things we’d like to
achieve in life and in our career, and so we often hope to find a partner that
also has this drive. It can be very deflating to be with someone who is quite
content doing nothing and has no ambition to try new things or reach for their
goals, especially if you yourself are a very driven person and you’re always
onto your next challenge. This is why ambition has consistently ranked as one
of the top traits people look for in a partner.
Kindness
The app Clue ran a study
of over 68,000 people across the world and found that kindness was very important
in a potential partner, particularly for women. Kindness can be such a valuable
trait in a relationship as it involves showing care and love to your partner,
as well as doing things to help and support them. But it also extends further
than just your relationship, and many people enjoy being with someone who is
kind to everyone they meet. This can be the hallmark of a great person and
someone who will naturally strive to make you happy.
Loyalty
Being loyal is about more than just being
faithful to your partner, it’s about sticking by their side no matter what and
standing up for them in times of conflict. It’s about building trust and
respect and it shows that you’re dedicated to that person and committed to
nurturing your relationship with them.
Academic intelligence
For many people, a certain level of academic
intelligence is desirable and someone who is knowledgeable, interesting and smart
can be very attractive. This doesn’t have to mean a Nobel Prize winner, but academic
intelligence is also important for understanding each other and for finding
things in common. It’s this intelligence that allows you to have debates with
one another and to find shared interests, leading to stimulating conversations
with one another over a shared passion.
Emotional intelligence
You can have all the book-smarts in the world,
but if you’re not emotionally available this can cause problems in a
relationship. Emotional intelligence is so important because it allows us to
empathise with one another and to see things from each other’s perspective.
No one wants a partner who can’t read the mood
or who doesn’t know how to help cheer them up when they’re down or support them
when they’re going through a tough time. Emotional intelligence doesn’t always
mean you have to agree with one another, but it gives you the ability to
compromise, to listen to each other and to grow as a couple. This is why so
many people consider emotional intelligence important when looking for a
partner.
Self-esteem
There’s a popular saying ‘how can you love
someone else if you don’t love yourself’. Self-esteem not only affects the way
you see yourself but your ability to give yourself to another person and to love
them fully. Therefore, it’s not surprising that most people want a partner who
is confident and happy with who they are and has high levels of self-esteem.
Conscientiousness
This is an interesting one and not something you may typically associate with desirable traits in a partner, but a study published on Psychology Today found that conscientiousness was a surprising but important aspect people were looking for in a partner. This is because they associated conscientiousness with caring, always being honest and always keeping promises to one another, very important parts of a happy and fulfilling relationship.
At Ignite Dating, we understand the importance of finding the right person for you. Someone who complements your personality and lifestyle. That’s why we spend time getting to know you, so we can use a perfect mixture of Myers Briggs personality profiling, your feedback and our expertise to match you with great potential partners. If you’d like to know more about how we can help you find love,get in touch with our friendly team today.
Despite being
so close to London, Surrey is one of England’s most wooded areas with plenty of
beautiful outdoor spaces and countryside to be explored. The perfect mix of
quintessentially English villages and vibrant metropolitan hubs, it’s a
wonderful place to go on a date any time of year.
And in the warm
summer months, Surrey becomes even more beautiful as its lush green spaces fill
with flowers, restaurants begin to offer alfresco dining and pub gardens flood
with happy guests soaking up the sunshine. So whether you’re a local or you
live nearby and you’re looking for the perfect place to have your next date,
here are six ideas for summer dates in Surrey.
1. Go for a
walk around Virginia Water
Originally a royal pleasure ground, the beautiful lake at Virginia Water can be the ideal location for a romantic day out. The woodland shores and ornamental waterfall add to its majesty, so whether you’re walking the perimeter or simply relaxing and watching the world go by, it can be the perfect place to get to know one another. You could even stop in at the Piccolino La Griglia Restaurant, situated by the lake, for some delicious seasonal food.
2. Dine alfresco at the Thai Terrace
If
you love Thai food, but a trip to Thailand seems like a bit of a stretch for
your next date, then we’ve got just what you need! On the Palm Terrace, you can enjoy beautiful views,
Thai cuisine for lunch or yummy exotic cocktails in the evening as you watch
the sunset.
3. Have a picnic at Painshill Park
If
you love spending time in nature, the award-winning Painshill Park in Surrey is a wonderful choice for
a date. The gardens are 158 acres, so you’re guaranteed to find a nice quiet
spot for a picnic, perhaps you could even tuck yourself away amongst the
Heritage Collection of North American trees and shrubs. The mystical grounds
are full of wildlife so you can spend the whole day exploring, just be sure to
stop by the beautiful Serpentine Lake on your way around.
4. Enjoy a drink at the Abinger Hatch
Enjoy
a cold drink or a delicious lunch in the Abinger Hatch pub garden. The pub is a beautiful
17th-century building located on Abinger Common and the large garden is
complete with an outside kitchen and wood-burning oven, so you know the food is
going to be good! Perfect if you want to create a more relaxed date whilst
enjoying the sunshine.
5. Get lost at RHS Gardens Wisley
From
exotic plants and glasshouses to bonsai tree walks and Japanese-style rock
gardens, the gardens at Wisley have it all! Recognised as one of the most
beautiful gardens in the world, RHS Wisley is Surrey’s pride and
joy and it can make for a very romantic atmosphere surrounded by incredible floral
displays and luscious green spaces.
6. Stop by the Weyside
Whether
you want a drink in the sunshine or some traditional pub grub, The Weyside pub in Guildford is a great date
venue. You can sit in the beautiful garden or up on the decking and choose from
a huge range of delicious wines, gins and meals prepared from locally sourced
produce.
Planning a memorable date in the Surrey area? It’s much easier to choose the perfect location when you know more about your date. At Ignite Dating, we take our time to get to know you so we can match you with like-minded individuals, so you’re guaranteed to choose a date venue that you’ll both love.Get in touch with our friendly team today.
You’d be forgiven for feeling like we’ve all been transported back in time to the 1940s (or woken up in a Danny Boyle movie). There’s no one out on the streets, there is ongoing uncertainty about what the future holds and people are stressed about rationing their food and supplies. But we do have one thing that they didn’t have back then. Sophisticated technology!
At this stage, it’s fair to say that Coronavirus
has affected almost every aspect of our daily lives. The good news is, that
each new day brings us one step closer to returning to normality. That said,
things won’t return to normal right away and the effects of this global pandemic
are likely to be seen for years to come.
As part of this, we’re likely to see a shift in
the dating landscape. There’s no denying that dating during the Coronavirus
outbreak is a strange concept and many are relying on apps, agencies and virtual dates to help them connect with people.
While this shift might not last forever, over the next few years we’re going to
see some big changes in the dating world.
More people are looking for love
Our new-found appreciation for companionship
means more people are looking for love than ever before. The ongoing lockdown
has meant people are stuck at home with lots more time on their hands and in
many cases no one to share it with. The result has been a spike in people
registering for dating apps, sites and agencies.
These numbers are unlikely to drop just because
the virus has gone – people (particularly those who had to isolate alone) will
be craving human affection and relationships now more than ever. So it looks
like love is going to be on the cards for many people in the coming years, even
those who may have previously prioritised work, hobbies or their social life
above starting a relationship.
People will take their time to look for a
partner
In recent years, our lives have become all about
instant gratification, being able to access a world of information at the click
of a button or get 100 likes on a photo within the hour. We’re used to results being
instant and thanks in no small part to dating apps, the dating world became the
same.
Endlessly swiping right or left and receiving
instant matches can feel more of a game than a search for love. In this
post-virus world, it’s likely that we’ll see people letting go of this need for
instant gratification and going back to a more old school approach, taking
their time to get to know potential partners and building genuine connections
with them until they find the right person.
Virtual dates will continue
Our need to stay connected with loved ones has
grown in recent weeks. Can you honestly say that you used to call your parents,
friends or partners as often as you do right now? This need to stay connected
has led to virtual date nights, pub quizzes and family games nights. As such,
it’s likely we’ll see people continuing to use virtual dates as a way of
staying connected with their partners on days when they cannot be together in
person, even after lockdown has lifted and life has returned to normal.
The way we date will have changed
People may also change the way they date. It’s
becoming apparent that places like pubs and restaurants will be some of the
last to reopen. This coupled with our new appreciation for the little things in
life is likely to see couples choosing alternative dates like going for a walk
or bike ride, instead just heading straight out for a drink and dinner date
like they may have done in the past.
If this recent pandemic has shown you what’s important in life and you’re ready to find love, we’re here to help. While we can certainly start you on your journey to finding the right partner, we also know it’s important that we listen to Government advice. So while lockdown continues we advise that you don’t try to meet with someone new and instead make the most of technology, virtual dates and services like ours.Get in touch with our friendly team today.
Dating can be
complex no matter what your situation, but dating as a single parent can feel
even tougher. Whether it’s because your confidence has taken a nosedive, your
children take up most of your time or you’ve been put off by the stigma
attached to dating as a single parent, throwing yourself back into the dating
world can be a daunting prospect.
With more people
now raising their kids alone, the stigma isn’t as bad as it used to be, but
many parents often feel guilty about finding a new partner when they have
children. Not to mention you may be short on time and worried about having to
introduce your children to someone new.
But we’re here
to remind you that you’re only human and you have the right to a love life as
much as anyone else. To help you push past your reservations and get the most
out of dating, we’ve pulled together some of our top tips for finding love as a
single parent. Check them out below.
Make sure
you’re ready
First and
foremost, you need to be honest with yourself and make sure you’re ready to
rejoin the dating world. It’s hard to be happy with someone else if you’re not
happy with yourself. This means making sure you’re over your ex and that you’re
feeling good about yourself and your situation.
Free yourself
of guilt
Remember, you
have the right to move on and continue with your life. Don’t feel guilty if
your ex isn’t over you just yet and don’t obsess over how your children will
take the news. While it is, of course, important that you put your children
first, you may find they are fine with everything and just want to see you
happy. So before you begin dating make sure you free yourself of any guilt and
stigma – and certainly never apologise for dating or for being a single parent.
Be honest
Whether you’re
setting up an online dating profile or joining a dating agency, never lie about
your situation. Because let’s face it, how long are you really going to get
away with it? And then you’ll have to tell your date that you lied and it could
potentially cost you a future together. So it’s best to be honest from the
start. That way, you’ll be matched with someone who knows the situation and is
OK with it.
Be strategic
about when they stay over
As your
relationship progresses it’s only natural you’ll want your partner to stay
over. If you’re a co-parent it might be better to time this so the children are
away. Alternatively, ask a good friend or your family to babysit and have the
kids overnight. This way you can keep things discreet in case the relationship
doesn’t work out, or at least until you’re ready to tell your kids.
Decide when
to tell your children
Timing is
everything and you need to make sure you tell your children when the time is
right. Don’t rush into it. If they’re younger they may not really be aware of
what is happening. Alternatively, older kids may be more intuitive and
accepting of the fact you’re dating, but either way don’t rush into introducing
them to a new partner.
It’s also important to make sure you and your new partner are on the same page. It’s not only important that you’re ready for them to meet your children, but they need to be ready too.
Dating as a single parent can feel like a daunting prospect, but done right it can be such a rewarding experience and you could come out the other side with an exciting new relationship. It’s important to be honest about your situation if you hope to meet the right person. Here at Ignite Dating, we work hard to match couples who are well suited to one another’s lifestyles – kids and all! So if you’d like to know more about how we can help you rejoin the dating world, get in touch with our friendly team today.
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