You probably know the feeling, that moment when your phone pings with a message from that special someone. It’s enough to fill your stomach with butterflies and put a big smile on your face for the rest of the day but have you got the perfect texting relationship?
Since the early noughties, texting has played a big part in how we form new relationships (we all remember Nelly texting Kelly from the party, right?). Being able to communicate back and forth with each other throughout the day, without having to set aside time for an actual phone call, revolutionised the dating world some twenty years ago.
And though nowadays you may be more likely to use instant messaging apps like WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger to chat up a new love interest, the same rules still apply.
To this day, texting is an important part of making connections and nurturing new relationships. Which is why we thought we’d help you to perfect your texting game, so you can always have your date coming back for more.
One of the great things about texting is that although it is readily available and you can tap out a message in a matter of seconds, it’s great for building up the suspense over a longer period of time. Encouraging flirty or romantic conversations can build up real anticipation and excitement for the next time you see each other in person.
Plus, you don’t have to reply straight away, as things take a flirty turn, why not wait for a little while and keep them on their toes. That way they’ll be eagerly awaiting your response, helping to build this anticipation. Of course, don’t wait days or even hours to reply as this can be a sign you’re not interested, but just keep them waiting long enough to have them hooked.
Put thought into the language you’re using
As with any sort of writing, texting can be a real art form. Think about how much careful planning and thought went into creating your last online dating profile or your Facebook page, now consider the language you use when writing your texts.
Words are everything when you can’t see someone’s body language or when you have only met someone a handful of times. You need to be very careful and selective with your language when texting in order to capture their attention and leave them wanting more. You also want to be careful that you’re not coming across too full on or perhaps even too shy. In the early stages of dating, it’s best to keep it light and fun as you get to know one another.
For example, instead of saying ‘can we arrange another date?’ why not say something more casual and flirty like ‘so when do I get to see you again?’. This suggests that you enjoyed meeting them and want to see them again, but it relieves some of the pressure and could just be another step to perfect the perfect texting relationship.
We’re not suggesting you spend hours agonising over every reply, just choose your words wisely. Don’t be afraid to use flirty and friendly language, this just adds to the excitement in the early stages. And hey, if you really want to feel like a giggling 18-year-old again, why not read the text out to one of your close friends and get their seal of approval too.
Get to know one another
Texting gives you the perfect opportunity to get to know one another, to ask questions, share jokes and find out what you have in common. It can also be great to start speaking to each other this way before setting up an official date, as this can give you some talking points when you do meet in person.
That said, you don’t want to give too much away too soon, save something for your date night. Otherwise, you might find yourselves going round in circles talking about the same stuff over and over again. This means finding a balance when texting and this is a great skill to master in the early stages of a relationship.
Sometimes you might even want to scatter some proverbial breadcrumbs in your texts. Give them insights into stories or things they didn’t know about you before saying ‘I’ll tell you all about it when we next meet’. This gives you an instant talking point when you do see each other and helps to add to the anticipation we spoke about earlier. That way they’ll be excited to meet with you and find out more.
Talk about the things you have in common
The reason you’re getting on so well is probably that you have things in common and shared interests, so use these to keep the conversation flowing. Talk about movies you enjoyed or TV shows you’ve both watched. Perhaps you love the same bands and you’ve both been to see them in concert. Whatever it may be, use your common ground to keep the conversation flowing and to build rapport.
Do this to avoid flooding your conversation with mundane, everyday chat that could cause the conversation to fizzle out. We get it, Brenda in HR might have been driving you mad all day, but your new love interest doesn’t know Brenda and probably doesn’t want to hear about her! So avoid bitching and moaning or talking about the boring and humdrum. After all, you’re still in the early stages of getting to know one another, so you want to keep it fun and exciting.
Sometimes simplicity is key
In the early stages of the relationship you might find yourself penning (well typing) long messages to each other that could rival the work of Shakespeare, putting thought into every word. But never underestimate the effectiveness and simplicity of a quick text message just to let them know you’re thinking about them.
Imagine them waking up and looking at their phone to see a simple ‘good morning’ or ‘have a great day’ text from you. This shows that you’re thinking about them and can be enough to change their mood and have them daydreaming about you for the rest of the day.
Remember this is supposed to be fun
One of the most important things to remember when perfecting your texting game in the early stages is that it’s supposed to be fun! So even though you will understandably want to put some time and thought into your texts, don’t let this become an obsession and certainly don’t find yourself waiting by the phone desperate for a reply.
Use texting (or WhatsApp or Messenger) as a way to get to know each other and begin to build rapport. To let your date know you’re thinking about them and to build up anticipation and tension for the next time you get to meet in person. Texting can be a real asset when you’ve met someone new, so don’t underestimate it.
Getting to know someone new is an exciting time. That’s why at Ignite Dating were dedicated to helping you find someone special, someone who will fill you with excitement each time your phone pings with a message from them. We use a range of tried and tested techniques to do this, but we’re most proud of our dedicated matchmakers who will work closely with you to find out what you want in a partner. If you’d like to know more about how we can help you find that special someone, get in touch with our friendly team today.