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How working with a matchmaker can save you time

Dating can be wonderful fun, the excitement of meeting new people and experiencing new places and activities, but there’s no doubt about it – if you’re not careful, it can start to be pretty time-consuming as well.

Take online dating apps. There is often a temptation to keep scrolling and scrolling just in case your perfect partner is sat there waiting to be discovered in the countless profiles you are trawling through. Before you know it, another evening has disappeared as you’re consumed by the glow of your mobile phone screen quite often with nothing to show for it.

On average it takes 100 hours of online dating to secure a date – with no guarantee that that date will result in the happily ever after you’re searching for. It’s easy to spend days and weeks chatting with somebody online just to discover that there is zero chemistry when you meet in real life. Add to the mix the endless number of possibilities available to talk to, and many conversations just peter out to nothing after you’ve invested plenty of time swapping messages back and forward.  

Dating burnout is a real issue as well. Whether it’s as a result of spending too long pouring over dating apps or shoehorning too many dates into your already busy schedule, many daters end up exhausted and overwhelmed with the whole process. Quite often, by the time they reach this stage they are ready to give up on dating altogether.

Add to that the rising cost of living and many daters are now questioning whether they can keep up with a whirlwind schedule of sipping expensive cocktails and hitting trendy nightspots with potential love interests. And statistics show they’re not alone. Single people are now being much more selective about the amount of dates they go –  new research shows rising prices has led to 41% of people polled going on fewer dates than they used to.

Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Contrary to popular belief, dating doesn’t have to be a numbers game. There’s a simple solution to ensuring a smooth dating journey and it involves outsourcing all the hard work to the experts. Dating by design not only helps save time but can also improve your chances of finding love. Matchmakers have extensive experience and knowledge when it comes to dating. Drawing on their skills and experience, they are able to hand-select personal introductions that share the same values, aspirations, and lifestyle as you, ensuring there’s a good chance you’ll both share a connection when you meet.

Here are just a few ways matchmakers work hard on your behalf to ensure a stress-free and enjoyable dating journey.

Specialist set of skills

Matchmakers are extremely emotionally intelligent and have a sixth sense when it comes to people. They are able to use these skills to quickly decide if two people are likely to work well together, helping to ensure that every date you go on is enjoyable and minimises the risk of first dates that were never going to be right, which can ultimately leave you feeling low or dejected.

A real understanding of what you are looking for

We work closely with our clients to really understand who you are and what you are looking for in a partner. This in-depth knowledge is essential to get a thorough picture of what makes you tick and the traits and values that are most important to you in a partner, so we can introduce you to the perfect match.

You may even be surprised what you learn about yourself along the way! Many people who approach their dating journey with experts on hand end up re-evaluating what they are looking for after careful consideration of what is really important to them, following open and honest discussions with their dedicated matchmaker. All this helps to narrow down the type of person you’ll click with and enable you to reach that ultimate goal of a fulfilling and committed long-term relationship.

Support along the way

We offer a personalised and hands-on service to every client that we work with. From the initial face-to-face interview and professional photoshoot through to the dedicated support they receive as they meet and enjoy their first date with a hand-selected match and into the first steps of their new relationships, our expert matchmakers are on hand every step of the way. Many of our clients find this ongoing support invaluable in their dating journey, helping reduce the stress of navigating a search for love alone and really benefitting from having an expert on-hand at all stages of the process to offer a fresh outlook and expert advice.

Expert resources

Put simply, our matchmakers are akin to a recruitment head-hunter, helping you relax as we undertake the hard work of searching for the perfect match for you. As experts in the field, we have an extensive private network of high-calibre, professional individuals who share your goal of a long-term, committed relationship.

We also offer industry-leading personality profiling to really understand whether two people will work well together, as well as expert-written profiles and professional photos to highlight you in the best possible way to potential partners and help to secure that perfect relationship for you.

While we’ve had multiple successes who have found love on their first or second match, it’s likely your dating journey will feature a few introductions before you find that perfect partner you are looking for. So, it’s important to not put too much pressure on each date and know that working with a matchmaker will help you feel more positive and happier as you make your way on your dating journey. Working with an expert matchmaker makes navigating the dating landscape a lot more enjoyable than taking it on alone, it helps build confidence in yourself and what you have to offer to a potential match as well as offering safety and security knowing that everyone you are introduced to has been ID-checked. And, if that wasn’t enough, what could be a better result than a perfect match with somebody who really shares your values, aspirations, and goals in life?

If you are looking for a more efficient and successful way to date, give our expert matchmaking team a call to find out more about how we can help you in your search for love.

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How to handle falling for a close friend

It’s a common scenario – you’ve known somebody for a while as a friend and you start to feel that you may be developing feelings for them which fall well outside the realm of just being good buddies.

It makes sense that a good friend may catch your eye. After all, you already have a strong bond that has developed over time, you have shared memories and experiences, and you like them as a person. At the end of the day, all successful relationships, no matter how you met, involve a level of friendship. Many say the happiest and strongest relationships they have had are actually those that started out as friendships. A fact that has been backed up by statistics, with a recent study finding 40% of couples interviewed had indeed been friends before they started dating.

But the big question is, how do you get there?

It’s a well-trodden path to make the transition from just friends to dating but that doesn’t mean it should be taken lightly. After all, this friendship is an important part of your life and you don’t want to risk jeopardising it if your feelings are not reciprocated by the person you like. It can be scary to take the leap as you can’t undo what has been said once it is out there, leaving you worrying about the fact that it could be tough to just carry on the friendship like nothing happened.

Here are a few things worth bearing in mind before you fess up to having fallen for somebody close to you.

Can you tell if they feel the same way?

Although you are probably already very comfortable in each other’s company, keep an eye out for non-verbal signs of flirting which may well suggest that they do indeed have mutual feelings. You can also try some subtle flirting, such as holding eye contact or lightly touching their arm, to see if they return the flirtiness. If they are being flirty with you in a way they don’t act with others, it can be a great sign they actually feel the same way. They may also give themselves away if they act jealous when you mention other people or dates you’ve been on.

Will you make a good couple?

There are of course practical considerations you’ll need to weigh up before you make the bold move of admitting your feelings – firstly, they need to be single and secondly, you should both be on the same page about what you are looking for in a relationship. It’s not likely to work if you want to be in it for the long-haul and you know they are a commitment-phobe who prefers a string of casual hook-ups. Plus, the reason you liked them as a friend may not translate into a successful relationship – their desire to be the life and soul of the party five nights a week might become exhausting if your idea of a great date night is a boxset and takeaway on the sofa at home. Make sure this person is somebody who has the qualities that are important to you and you’d want to date them regardless of your how familiar you are with each other as friends.

Things might be awkward

It can feel strange to move from friends to lovers. One minute you’re just hanging out and the next you’ve moved into couple territory. Despite how long you’ve been friends when you transition to a relationship it’s important to take it slow. Realise that although it might seem awkward to become intimate with somebody you’ve known so long as a platonic friend, it does not necessarily mean the relationship isn’t working. Communication is key to navigating your new status and you both need to be willing to work on the areas which may initially feel awkward.

What if it doesn’t work out?

As much as it hurts to consider it, there is a big question of what would happen if you did date, and the relationship doesn’t last. It can be hard to maintain a friendship with an ex and there’s the question of how you’d feel if you both still share the same social circle following a break-up. If you are questioning whether your feelings are strong enough to take this sort of risk, it may be best to just remain friends.

If you’ve decided to broach the subject of dating, there’s a couple of ways to go about it. Many experts think it’s worth keeping it light, asking playful questions such as “have you ever dated a friend?” and push the subject depending on their reaction. If they shut down the idea, it’s easier to backpedal and laugh it off with no lasting harm done.

However, it may well be worth being direct and honest about your feelings to avoid a situation where you’re tied up in knots yearning for this person, but your subtle signs go unnoticed. It ultimately might hurt more to be left wondering what might have been if you keep your feelings hidden and life ends up taking you in different directions.  

Have you decided it is the right time to meet somebody special? Working with a matchmaker helps you easily meet people who you’ll really share a connection with, taking all the hard work out of your dating journey. Give our expert team a call today to find out how we can help!

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How to spot mind games in the dating world

It is a sad fact of life that there is plenty of game playing that goes on in the dating world. The very early stages of meeting and getting to know each other is a common time to encounter mind games because neither of you are sure yet where the relationship is heading.

Let’s face it, the dating world can be a confusing landscape to navigate at the best of times, even when you both have the best intentions. When you’ve only just met and it’s too early to gauge where the relationship is going, it is not unusual to hold back elements of the real you as you suss out where you are going. It may be as a result of worrying that you are coming on too strong, or an attempt to dull your shine in a bid to adapt to be whoever you think the person you are dating wants you to be.

However, genuine game playing in dating often tips over into real dishonesty, causing plenty of confusion for the person who is on the receiving end of the manipulative behaviour. People who play games in dating are intentionally not being transparent and authentic with the person they are seeing. Some may actually perceive the act of dating as a game to be mastered and won, enjoying the challenge of winning somebody over rather than having genuine intentions of forming a relationship in a natural way. To them, it’s about working to keep you interested without providing the commitment or respect you deserve.

What to watch out for

If you’ve got an inkling somebody is playing mind games with you, you’ll be on the lookout for solid evidence that they are indeed a player.

Tell-tale signs of game playing can include feeling like you are on an emotional rollercoaster – one minute they are really into you, then they disappear for days or weeks at a time. Their words are not followed by the appropriate actions – they may break plans at the last minute, or suggest they want a relationship while their behaviour screams anything but commitment.

Somebody who is playing games is extremely unpredictable, bombarding you with mixed messages and leaving you confused, making the whole dating experience seem distinctly one-sided.

Communication is erratic at best and the waiting game is no fun for anybody. Instead of creating an air of mystery, somebody who takes days or weeks to reply to your message just causes frustration and anger. Alarm bells should also ring if you never hear from them out of the blue or outside of work hours and you’re doing all the work by sending the first message every time.

They may toy with your emotions by trying to make you jealous, insinuating they are seeing other people or flirting with others in front of you. Or they hold back from introducing you to their friends and family, keeping you at arm’s length instead of drawing you closer and including you in their life.

How to deal with a player

The list of different games used to toy with your emotions is sadly a long one but the sorts of behaviour we’ve touched upon are well worth watching out for to ensure you can recognise and call out somebody who is playing games with you. Be under no illusions – any bad behaviour in the dating world is a major red flag and it pays to be wary of the signs.

You can tackle a game player head on and ask them about their motives in the relationship to save yourself from getting tied up in knots with endless worry and frustration about their true intentions. Their response will tell you a lot about whether there’s any relationship potential with this person. Sometimes the game playing is not glaringly obvious, and you may worry about accusing somebody just in case there is a valid excuse for their strange behaviour. However, you might find you need to stick with your gut feeling when you suspect somebody is a playing games, if something doesn’t feel right then it probably isn’t – once you know where you stand you need to decide whether it’s time to move on and ultimately whether you’d be better off without them.

Be assured that the right person will make a relationship seem effortless, rather than leading you to constantly question the other person’s motives and feelings. An authentic person who values open and honest communication does not need games to earn your affection. So, be wary of the players in the dating world and instead concentrate on those whose behaviour and genuine nature show they have plenty of potential for an enjoyable and long-lasting relationship.

Are you looking for somebody who is the real deal? Our matchmaking team are experts at understanding what you want in a relationship and matching you with amazing people who are really worth getting to know better. Give us a call today and find out how we can help you achieve your goal of a lasting, long-term relationship.

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What makes an award-winning dating agency?

In the UK alone, there are 480 dating agencies. Add to this, over 1,400 online dating sites and apps and it is clear that the dating industry is highly saturated. However, like anything, there are varying levels when it comes to the success of the business and the quality of the service that they provide.

So, how do you figure out who or where is the best fit for your journey?

Credibility

When it comes to dating, there are a whole host of emotions attached to it. Whether you are separated, divorced, bereaved or simply single for a long time, getting back out in the dating game can often be a vulnerable journey so it’s really important that anyone who is guiding you is reputable and has the correct experience.

Before you choose which dating platform to go with, be sure to conduct your own due diligence and research on the company or an individual before putting your trust in them. If they are reputable and experienced there should be plenty of reviews, ratings, and references available to you which will indicate the level and quality of their work.

Awards and accreditations are also a sign of a high-standard, legitimate, and quality agency or individual.

At Ignite Dating we pride ourselves on the quality of our service, going above and beyond the industry-standard to provide a dating journey that leaves clients feeling confident, energised and most importantly, safe. It is no surprise then, that as a company we invest in the best available training for our matchmakers and why we are the only matchmaking agency in the UK that’s full team of matchmakers undergoes training and accreditation from the Matchmaking Institute – the world’s only organisation authorised to issue certification in the field of matchmaking.

Not only that, but in the last year we have received five award recognitions for our service with many more in the pipeline in the coming months including:

Ignite Dating does it again at the Prestige Awards, this time for London & South East

These accolades are not only great for us to achieve from a business perspective, but recognition like this can give you a much-deeper insight into the way that the agency works and help you determine whether they really have your best interests at heart.

Making a choice

If you’ve found an agency or matchmaker that you can be open and honest with, who understands who you are and what you are looking for and comes with an array of experience, testimonials, and accolades that back up their claims, then it sounds like they could be the right agency for you.

Because let’s face it, finding the right dating professional can be half the battle.

So, instead of spending yet more money, time and attention aimlessly searching for that special person, why not let the experts’ put things into focus and help you find that perfect partner you’ve been searching for. You may be surprised by how much quicker your journey can be once you’ve put your faith and trust in the professionals.

If you are looking for a matchmaking agency that understands who you truly are and the traits that are most important to you and who has a multitude of experience, testimonials, and accolades to back up their claims, then look no further than Ignite Dating. Get in touch with our friendly team of expert matchmakers to find out how they can help you on your journey to success.

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Find the best date ideas to enjoy in Rutland

Elite Dating Agency & Matchmaker in Lincolnshire and Rutland

Rutland may be England’s smallest county but that doesn’t mean it should be overlooked when it comes to finding a great place to enjoy a variety of romantic dates.

Plus, from a dating point of view, Rutland may very well be a promising place to meet somebody new – if you are a single lady, that is.

This tiny county is the most male-dominated place in the country, according to recent census figures. According to The Daily Telegraph, the findings show there are significantly fewer women than men in Rutland – a striking 40% female to 60% male aged 20 to 30. It may well be the case this is a trend echoed throughout the age groups.

So, what else has the county got going for it?

Boasting the title of England’s smallest county, it has a total area of just 147 square miles, so it’s not hard to travel around the county to explore the highlights it has to offer. Not to mention the fact that it borders Lincolnshire, Leicestershire, and Northamptonshire so offers up an easily accessible slice of rural charm to people living in nearby towns and cities.

It’s also home to Ignite Dating’s regional office so our expert matchmaking team are well-placed to share their pearls of wisdom on the best places to date in the area! So, whether you’ve just started seeing somebody new, or you’re looking to mix up your dating journey with your significant other, here are our top date ideas to take advantage of in the county.

Get outdoors

Beautiful Rutland Water is ideal for romantic walks

The jewel in Rutland’s crown is Rutland Water, a reservoir surrounded by 4,200 acres of open countryside. It’s a beautiful place for a romantic stroll and picnic while admiring the spectacular views over the calm water. If you can, grab some of the excellent fare on offer from the nearby artisan Hambleton Bakery. If you are feeling active, then hire a bike and enjoy a short scenic route or take on the full 23-mile lap of the reservoir. In the warmer months, it’s the perfect place to try your hand at a range of water sports by hiring a kayak, canoe, or paddleboard. Or you could break the ice with an adrenalin-filled date at the Aqua Park, an inflatable obstacle course with thrill slides, free falls, and trampolining available on the water. With so many possibilities for a range of interests, it’s easy to see why Rutland Water is a dating favourite amongst locals and visitors alike.

However, if you enjoy getting off the beaten path, Rutland is the perfect place to explore tiny villages, little known tracks, and country lanes. There are so many areas to discover on a romantic stroll, with the benefit of finding plenty of traditional village pubs along the way for a bite to eat and a well-deserved drink.

Looking for a more sedate al fresco experience? The Tolethorpe Hall open air theatre is home to the Stamford Shakespeare Company, which offers a selection of plays throughout the summer months, all set against a stunning and historical backdrop.

Spa and Stay

Luxury hotel break at Hambleton Hall Rutland

If you are at the mini-break stage of your relationship, Hambleton Hall offers a luxury country hotel break on the peninsula above Rutland Water, complete with Michelin-starred cuisine and stunning views from its outdoor pool.

OK, admittedly it’s just across the border but Stapleford Park is the perfect place to unwind and a great base for exploring Rutland. The country house and 500-acre estate offer luxurious rooms, suites, and cottages with stunning views of the surrounding countryside. Spa treatments are offered in the 1889 Baroque Revival Stable Block with an indoor pool, sauna, steam room and jacuzzi found in the main house.

Eat and drink

Sample home brew at The Grainstore Brewery

You’re spoilt for choice for romantic date dining spots across the county.  The charming market town of Oakham has Otters Fine Foods which is a great place to graze over a cheese and charcuterie platter for a casual lunchtime date. If traditional pubs are more your thing, then Oakham boasts its own brewer The Grainstore Brewery with a pub to sample the fruits of its labour. The Olive Branch is a village pub that is well worth a visit, not to mention it was recently named UK Pub of the Year 2021 by the Good Pub Guide. The venue focuses on locally sourced and seasonal produce with daily changing menus featuring ingredients grown in their own pub paddock. Over in Uppingham there’s the quintessential traditional pub The Vaults and fine dining with an extensive wine offering at The Lake Isle.

Visit nearby Stamford

Again, it may be just over the border but the historic town of Stamford is well worth a look for a romantic day out. Home to the famous Burghley House, a grand sixteenth century English country home, there’s plenty to enjoy in the beautiful Sculpture Garden, but be sure to leave time for a cream tea in the stunning Orangery before you leave. The George Hotel is another amazing building, situated in the centre of the town, offering a range of hospitality, from Champagne outside under the heated canopy to fine dining in the Oak Room Restaurant. The Slanted Door restaurant and cocktail bar is a recent addition to Stamford’s thriving nightlife and it’s well worth bagging a table on the balcony overlooking the pretty Stamford Meadows if you can.

Are you looking for that perfect venue for a memorable date in Rutland? We know it’s much easier to choose the perfect location when you know more about your date, which is why our matchmakers offer an easy and stress-free way to meet somebody new, learning all about you and your lifestyle and fine-tuning their selections so you’ll meet people you’ll really share a connection with – making choosing that first date venue a whole lot easier for dating in Rutland. Give us a call today to find out how we can help you on your dating journey!

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Why do people behave so badly in the digital dating world?

People behaving badly in digital dating world

We are all familiar with the bad behaviour that takes place on online dating apps. From ghosting to breadcrumbing, and everything in between, you may have experienced first-hand the emotional hazards that are commonplace in the digital dating world.

Daters have to navigate a plethora of online dating bad behaviours, explains a recent BBC article examining the phenomenon, with women disproportionately affected.

The piece cited recent research which discovered 35% of respondents say somebody had sent them an “explicit message or image they didn’t ask for” on a dating app, which rose to 57% among female daters aged 18 to 34. In that age group, 44% reported that somebody had called them an offensive name on a dating app or site, and 19% of young women say they’ve been threatened with physical harm via apps, compared with 9% of people overall.

Infidelity is disappointingly common as well. A team of researchers found 42% of people with a profile on the dating site they examined were married or in a relationship – but still seeking dates.

Poor conduct online is often found to be a result of the courage people gain from hiding behind a screen, leading them to say and do things they would never do in real life. When you think about it, it’s a lot less scary to approach somebody for a date via a text conversation than it is to ask them in person. However, the problem comes when the semi-anonymous nature of the apps makes people feel like they can get away with emotional abuse and bad behaviour.

The BBC article also points out that apps encourage a numbers-game approach to dating, with daters feeling they need to cast their nets as widely as possible to be in with the best chance of finding a good match. This can lead to people moving quickly from one conversation to another, ghosting those they don’t see as worth getting to know better or ‘trading up’ when somebody else catches their eye.

As Leah LeFebvre, associate professor in communication studies at the University of Alabama, told the author of the article, daters can simply melt away or disappear in the digital world. Shockingly, another study  found 74% of respondents thought ghosting was an appropriate way to end a relationship.

Dating with caution

The problem, many experts point out, is that with these bad behaviours has grown a type of weary acceptance by daters to expect – and even accept – this sort of treatment as they search for love online.

Social researcher Dr Joanne Orlando recently wrote in the Guardian that we may lull ourselves into a false sense of security by fobbing off this sort of behaviour as typical, or believing that it doesn’t matter because it’s happening online. She argues that the behaviour we experience digitally can have far-reaching ramifications into our daily lives, eroding how we think we deserve to be treated. We’re at our most vulnerable when we’re dating and the more we encounter these sorts of behaviours, the more damaged we become. Her article concludes that it is time to view online dating as no different from other forms of dating, making sure standards aren’t dropped for the people who treat you badly simply because they think they can get away with it because you are chatting via an app. As with all new relationships, it’s important to walk away if the person you are dating behaves badly and ensure you don’t excuse their behaviour just because it took place online.

On a more optimistic note, the BBC article points out that many daters who experience first-hand this sort of dating bad behaviour have vowed to concentrate on kindness and doing better in their interactions online, making sure they never hurt somebody in the same way.

Working with a matchmaker

Despite the pitfalls, online dating apps remain a popular way to look for love. However, many weary daters are now looking for a new way to date. Matchmaking has been rising in popularity in recent years as an antidote to burnout with an app-based search for love. Fed up with endless swiping and having online conversations fizzle out to nothing, daters are turning to the experts to find the long-term committed relationships they’ve been searching for.

Matchmakers are experts at really understanding what somebody is looking for in a partner and providing hand-selected introductions to people who share their family values, goals, and outlooks on life. There is also the element of third-party accountability. If people know they are going to be pulled up on poor behaviour, they are less likely to do it. Many daters are finding the benefits of opting for an in-person aspect to dating, turning their back on hours of swiping to find a date, and instead outsourcing the hard work to the experts. They then reap the rewards by enjoying great dates with people who are really worth getting to know!

Here at Ignite Dating we use a unique mix of expert intuition, our extensive private network and personality profiling to make recommendations for the perfect partner. We take all the hard work out of searching for a good match, providing you with plenty of support and advice along the way so you can just concentrate on an enjoyable dating journey. Why not give us a call today and find out how we can help you with your search for love!

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How to tackle the topic of money in a budding relationship

So, let’s discuss the subject of money and relationships. It can sometimes feel like a taboo topic at the best of times, and it hardly makes for romantic small talk to bring it up early in a budding relationship.

However, let’s consider why it’s so important for men and women not to ignore the practical side of entering into a relationship – even when it may be the last thing on your mind as you’re swept up in the excitement and romance of dating somebody who seems really rather special.   

What you need to think about when you meet somebody new

You’ve taken the all the risks, you’ve kept going when it was so tempting to quit – but you didn’t – and you have reaped the rewards of a successful career and acquired considerable wealth along the way. Now you’re thinking how nice it would be to meet somebody, settle down and enjoy the fruits of your labours. It’s understandable if you’ve got some concerns about what a long-term relationship means for combining assets and the practical implications of managing your money.

So, what are the key things to consider?  You can think of it as three phases – dating, living together (or to use the official term, co-habiting) and marriage.

The dating is really about getting to know somebody better – do they want the same things as you and is life just better with them rather than without them? There’s no real financial or legal impact at the dating phase, except if one of you has more than the other. Are you happy to pay for the expensive holiday in the Seychelles you’ve always wanted to share with somebody special? Does it bother you if the person you’re dating earns significantly more or less than you do?

If the dating is going well and you’re thinking about moving in together, you will need to decide where it’s going to be – will you rent or buy a new home, or will one if you move in a house the other already lives in? Are you prepared to make changes to the home so that it’s ‘ours’ rather than ‘mine’?

This is where legal and financial aspects come into consideration. Let’s assume you’re the wealthier partner and that it’s your home you’ll be living in.

There was some talk of partners who lived together gaining rights after two years. At present, this is not the law…but that could change.

Currently, if one person owns the property, a partner could only claim rights if they had made a capital contribution, such as paying part of the mortgage, paying for improvements to the property (a new bathroom, for example), or if there is a child in the relationship.

Because you have fewer automatic legal rights than married couples, a co-habitation agreement is a way of laying out the terms of living together. This legal document sets out the arrangements for finances, property, children and what happens if one of you becomes ill, dies or you split up.

Now it’s going really well and you’re thinking of getting married.  You don’t get married with a plan to get divorced, but it is best to think about what you’re comfortable with should the worse happen.

Prenuptial (prenup) agreements are legally required in some countries but are not quite yet a legally binding document in the UK. However, courts will give serious consideration to the prenup if you get divorced. A prenup should be fair and it should be done in a reasonable timeframe. It can’t be signed the night before the wedding! This agreement must be signed off a month before the wedding as a minimum and both parties should have independent legal advice (but it is OK for you to pay for your partner’s advice). A prenup also requires full financial disclosure by both parties. This can also be reinforced with a postnup. A ‘life event’ such as having children can partly void a prenup, so it’s best to address those points in the original agreement and agree for there to be a review of the agreement if children arrive.

There is the subject of how you raise the matter. You may not wish to be on bended knee with a ring in one hand and a document in the other! So, once the Champagne and celebrations have been enjoyed, ensure you raise these issues with each other before you embark on the big relationship milestone of getting married. It’s also important to ensure you seek the appropriate expert advice when it comes to the legal side of things and be open with each other about your wishes.

While it might not seem like the most romantic of topics, understanding and securing your financial future will help both of you feel secure and well-prepared should the worse happen. And once the paperwork is sorted, you can just enjoy all the great things that come with a successful and loving long-term relationship!

Rudy Vandaele-Kennedy is an Investment Manager looking after private clients and their families, as well as their business and charitable interests. 

Here at Ignite Dating we aim to provide you with a stress-free search for love, with expert matchmakers on-hand to really understand what you are looking for in a partner. Get in touch today to find out more about our award-winning service!

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Why the phrase high maintenance is a red flag in the dating world

High Maintenance Red Flags

What do you think when you hear the phrase high maintenance? Do you instantly think about somebody who puts a tremendous amount of time and effort into their appearance? A person who expects a high standard of living and can ultimately be hard work to date? Some would say, a ‘princess’.

And let’s face it, you’re probably thinking about a woman. A recent article over on The Conversation points out we rarely come across the term “high-maintenance man”.

Looking into the use of the term high maintenance on dating apps, the author Lisa Portolan found that many single ladies end up treading a fine line of identity management, by wanting to look attractive on dating apps but not too ‘perfect’ as they worry they might scare prospective matches off.

Her research found women worked hard to ensure their dating profiles did not come across as full of traits and images that were viewed as coming across as high maintenance. Instead, they wanted to convey their image as being “pretty” but “relatable”, concentrating on portraying themselves as expectation-less, fun-loving, easy-going, and capable. Low maintenance, in other words. Their intention is to ensure they don’t “intimidate” a potential match through their images and behaviour by appearing high maintenance.

Lisa’s research led her to conclude that the use of this sort of language to “reign themselves in” perpetuates a certain invisibility on online dating sites, where women are effectively dulling their shine and shrinking themselves to stereotypes of how women should act to appease men.

What do people think when they hear the term high maintenance?

High maintenance is a term that is often thrown around in the dating world in a derogatory fashion. As The Conversation article points out, it can be a slippery term to define, with the traits that constitute high maintenance usually centred around appearance and behaviour. The stereotype of high maintenance centres around women who are unapologetically demanding, with unreasonable lifestyle expectations of their partner. They are loath to split the bill on a date, like the finer things in life and put a great importance on material status.

The internet is full of articles explaining how to “manage” a high maintenance woman, portraying them in a negative light and asking whether it is worth the reward to date somebody who has a profile which screams “high maintenance”. It’s no wonder the single people who featured in Lisa’s research strived to avoid these sorts of definitions.

Other experts are keen however to point out the problem may actually reside with the person who is throwing this term around. Over on Medium, a recent article points out using the term high maintenance can be a form of manipulation, indicating the person you are dating wants you to comply with their wishes. It can lead to women doing just that, just to avoid being labelled with the title of high maintenance.

The article points out that if a man says you are high maintenance, this reflects more about them, not you, and demonstrates the person using the term ultimately doesn’t value you. It creates an imbalance in your dating journey, where your expectations don’t line up to their preconceived ideas of what a relationship should look like and the effort they should be putting in.

Other experts in the dating world agree, saying the term has become weaponised against women to shift responsibility when a man refuses to meet your emotional needs in a relationship, instead labelling you as the problem. Using high maintenance as a way to degrade or berate somebody is often with the intention of making them feel like their relationship demands are unreasonable and that they are a bad person for having them. A massive red flag, in other words.

Don’t dull your shine

The valuable lesson here is the right person will respect who you are and be prepared to put in legwork to really make a budding relationship work. A good partner will understand and respect your needs in a relationship as well as their own. It can be all too easy to dull your shine in the dating world, with recent surveys finding many daters admitted they were conscious of behaviours thought to be off-putting to men including appearing too clingy, being too forward or coming across as genuinely interested. However, by being yourself your date can get to know the real, amazing you. If you are both authentic and upfront with each other, it’s so much easier to establish whether you have a genuine connection. The right partner will love all the quirks and traits that make you the person you are (even if you do make you both late for every night out because you like to dedicate plenty of time to getting ready!). If you come across somebody that isn’t prepared to put in the effort to really make a relationship work, then it’s time to forget this person and move on.

Are you looking for somebody who will really value who you are and share your goal of a long-term, committed relationship? Here at Ignite Dating we’re experts in helping you with an enjoyable and stress-free dating journey, providing you with hand-selected matches you’ll really share a connection with. Contact our team today and find out how we can help you find true love!

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The Science of Dating – How to maximise your chances of long term relationship success

While there is nothing unusual about having a type when it comes to dating, we all know somebody who is guilty of taking it a bit too far. Think about that colleague who is obsessed with only dating glamourous blondes, or your friend who won’t even look twice at somebody unless they are over 6ft tall. Then ask yourself this question, how many times have their uncompromising preferences led them into successful relationships?

Well, according to the science behind relationships, there might be a very good reason to ditch the tunnel vision and look for somebody who doesn’t necessarily tick all your usual boxes.

Bear with us while we explain.

A recent article on Wired, adapted from a new book by data scientist Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, examined whether it is possible to predict whether two people will be happy in a romantic relationship.

In a nutshell, Stephens-Davidowitz sets out the efforts of scientists to define reliably which traits can predict relationship success. But like anything in life, there were some important lessons learned along the way.

For one, the researchers found many of the traits that are competed for ferociously in the dating world do not necessarily correlate with romantic happiness. Citing data collected from online dating apps, the article points out that single people are predictably drawn to certain qualities in a partner, such as height, wealth, beauty, occupation, and similarity to themselves.

However, the conclusion was that there was not a set of traits that guarantees romantic happiness. In fact, the traits most valued by daters were found to be among the least predictive of long-term relationship happiness, despite their attention-grabbing qualities in the dating world. So, if indeed daters believe the pursuit of these particular traits will lead to relationship success, it then suggests single people are actually going about dating all wrong.

The findings led the author to sum up: “In the dating market, people compete ferociously for mates with qualities that do not increase one’s chances of romantic happiness.”  

It’s not just data science that has led to these sort of conclusions – dating experts are keen to point out the detrimental impact of relentlessly focusing on a certain ‘type’ when you are looking for love. Over on our blog, our master executive coach Genevieve Gresset explained how having a relationship checklist can hold you back in your quest for love.

Solely focusing on a checklist of physical and personal preferences can limit your search for the perfect partner, as you simply don’t know who you are going to share a connection with. You could be ruling out somebody special just because they don’t tick all of your usual boxes and the person you’ve initially discounted could actually be perfect for you.

Don’t get hung up on certain traits

It’s important to remember that height and age are just a number, and it does not matter if you have completely different tastes in music, TV, or film. Shared interests offer a good starting point for those initial conversations, but it doesn’t guarantee that your relationship will be successful in the long-term.

The same goes for getting hung up on physical attractiveness. It can really pay to disregard a profile photo and concentrate on what the profile says about the person, their values, aspirations and ultimately their potential compatibility in a relationship.

Physical attraction is important but it’s vital to remember there’s many other aspects to consider if you want a long-lasting, happy relationship. By keeping an open mind, you are much more likely to open yourself up to some truly amazing people and you stand a much better chance of achieving the all-important spark you’ve been searching for.

Focus on yourself

There was another valuable finding that was gleaned from the data analysed in the Wired article which could help predict relationship success – and it does not involve the traits of the individual you’re dating.

Researchers found that if somebody is happy and content in their life outside a relationship, then it can have a huge impact on their happiness within a relationship. This serves as a valuable reminder to always focus on your own well-being and self-love in your dating journey. Dating can be tough, especially if you’ve been on a string of unsuccessful dates and it’s all starting to feel like a chore.

Focusing on what makes you happy in life can be a valuable antidote to dating burnout. It can help to concentrate on yourself and enjoy time with family and friends to appreciate what you have in life. Building some valuable breathing room into your dating journey can provide the time to understand what you’re looking for in a partner. You’ll then be in a much better place to tackle the dating world refreshed and confident, helping you achieve a more fulfilling and stronger relationship in the long run.

Stephens-Davidowitz’s book is a fascinating insight into the modern dating world. It’s another timely reminder to make sure you don’t fall into the trap of mono-manic dating – instead ditch the checklist approach to be in with the best chance of meeting somebody who you will really share a connection with!  

Are you looking for help with your search for love? Our matchmaking team can open your horizons to a new way to date, introducing you to hand-selected individuals you’ll really share a spark with. Give us a call today and find out how we can assist with an enjoyable and stress-free search for love!

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How To Dress To Impress This Summer

Summer is finally here, the days are getting longer and brighter and hopefully things are heating up in your dating journey too! Come rain or shine, Summer is a great season for romance, thanks in no small part to the air of spontaneity when it comes to making plans and abundant dating opportunities that aren’t available at other times of the year. Whether you’re meeting for a relaxed walk in the park or enjoying cocktails at the best al fresco spot in town, it’s time to make the most of this season’s outfit trends so you are putting your best foot forward when meeting somebody new this summer.

While a lot of Summer essentials can be decidedly casual, it stills pays to build an outfit which makes you feel super confident when you’re embarking on a first date. Even if we’re in the midst of a heatwave, simple wardrobe additions can bring the advantage of looking great while keeping you cool and relaxed when stepping out for a balmy evening rendezvous.

Below we’ve highlighted our top tips for getting the most out of the Summer fashion trends to ensure you feel energised and ready for navigating some truly wonderful dates this season. Thankfully the restrictions of the pandemic are behind us, so let’s make this a Summer to remember!

For Her

This season is all about square and Bardot-style wide-open necklines exposing the shoulders. Both styles have the advantage of highlighting your feminine décolletage and adding a sexy and sultry edge to your outfit.

Prints are also back, and we’re seeing them on gorgeous slip dresses this season. Bask in the sunshine in a midi-style slip dress for effortless glamour that’ll suit a wide range of date occasions. Thankfully at this time of year, it is warm enough to wear a slip dress without outerwear and you can keep your look fresh with a range of accessories. On those days when the mercury is really rising, it’s a great style for keeping you sexy, cool, and confident with the thinner materials giving a real advantage for combatting the fierce heat of the day.

Whether you’re opting for prints or plain colours, don’t forget to select the right colour for your skin tone – in my spring dating trends blog I recently shared an overview of the best outfit colours for different skin tones. Another way to add a gorgeous splash of colour and embrace one of summer’s hot trends is to wear a small silk scarf in your hair like a turban. You can also wrap it gently around your ponytail for a fabulous pop of colour.

Your outfits are a perfect way of reflecting a relaxed summer vibe while giving you an invaluable confidence boost, as when you feel your best your true personality will shine through while dating.

For Him

For gentlemen, this summer is all about linen sports jackets. Light blue or salmon colours truly celebrate the summer season and add a pop of colour to your look. The beauty of light-coloured linen jackets is that they can be paired with a simple dark blue jean. For an excellent first date look, finish the outfit with a suede loafer and you’re ready to go!

Summer is one of the most varied times of year to date, thanks to the plethora of date ideas available to make the most of the fine weather. Whether you’re enjoying an evening of live music, a romantic picnic or a traditional formal dinner, there are plenty of ways to put together an outfit which’ll look effortlessly stylish and sophisticated. Whatever you opt for, make sure you are staying true to wearing what makes you feel good and your preferred personal style. You’ll then be sure to feel your best and make a great first impression!

Are you looking to enhance your dating journey this Summer? Working with a matchmaker can effortlessly help you reach that goal of a long-term committed relationship. We work closely with you to really understand what you are looking for, and we’re experts at hand-selected introductions to amazing people you’ll really enjoy meeting, and build relationships that will be around long after the Summer months end. Ready to commit? Give our expert team a call today!