Author: Allie

Categories
Uncategorized

Fireworks vs slow burn relationships – what’s best?

When you’ve met a new love interest, is it better to have a slow burn or a fiery start to the relationship? You may have experienced both as you navigate the dating world but is the type of chemistry you share at the beginning a sign of how successful the relationship will eventually be?

When it comes to some unions, the beginning stages of a relationship are a fantastically passionate time where you just can’t get enough of each other. You want to spend every minute of your time with your new partner, and it feels amazing to be wrapped up in each other’s lives. A fiery, passionate relationship develops, which involves intense feelings and sometimes jumping straight into planning a future together. It’s a rapid-fire romance, in other words.

In other cases, it takes longer to decide if there is a spark. Some prefer not to dive into a new relationship, instead taking things slowly to be sure there is a connection there. You may have had a date where there isn’t an instant spark but something about this person makes you think it’s worth investing the time to get to know them better.

You may focus on really getting to know each other, sharing plenty of dates, texts, and phone calls, and discovering lots about each other and what you have in common. Dates may be based around activities you enjoy and spending quality time together. Love and chemistry build over time as you get to know each other better. It’s about making sure you are a good match before committing to becoming more serious.  

It can be confusing when you meet somebody new to decide what you should be experiencing. Is there no hope you’ll work out if you don’t share instant fireworks? Is a passionate and instant connection a recipe for disaster further down the line?

There can be beauty in both approaches to a relationship developing. Some argue the “simmer” approach to getting to know somebody means you won’t miss out on somebody who is amazing because you initially dismissed them due to a lack of instant chemistry. First dates can be nerve-wracking and often don’t give you the chance to really get to know somebody, so if you feel like this is somebody who may have romance potential, then move things forward to date two and beyond. You may well discover a genuine connection and fondness that is a much stronger foundation than falling for somebody based purely on lust and attraction.

When it comes to fireworks, there are often criticisms that the love-at-first sight feeling isn’t sustainable in the long run. Basing a relationship on lust from the offset can make you overlook the important characteristics of the person as you are blinded by your initial feelings for them. You may initially feel there is nothing wrong with this person, but the connection then fizzles when you both can’t maintain the energy that went into the relationship initially and you ultimately don’t share the lifestyles and values that long-term partnerships are built on. However, passionate beginnings can settle into long-term harmony if you have enough in common and share a healthy amount of compatibility. Passion does naturally ebb and flow depending on where you are in your relationship and what’s going on in both your lives, so it’s natural for the initial all-consuming lust to settle down once you are in a long-term relationship.

Sometimes fireworks can spell trouble. It can be hard to see the wood for the trees when you feel so passionately about somebody, which makes it hard to spot red flags in the relationship. The chemistry you feel being extremely addictive and intense. However, there can be a turbulent sting in the tail to the connection you have. This sort of relationship will be characterised by a fiery cycle of angry breakups and reunions, a pattern neither of you can bring yourself to break. It can be hard to see what’s truly going on because you feel so convinced that this relationship is meant to be because you are so drawn to this person. Life is an emotional rollercoaster, with intense highs and lows that you wouldn’t expect in a healthy relationship. One minute you feel happy, the next you are upset things aren’t going well. At the end of the day, you may need to acknowledge what you think you want is not right for you and is never going to last.

Are you looking for somebody special who will truly understand you and share your values, life goals and aspirations? Your dedicated matchmaker is waiting to introduce you to some truly amazing individuals. Get in touch today to find out how we can help you with a safe and enjoyable search for love.

Categories
Uncategorized

Why is everybody so obsessed with height in the dating world?

How important in height in the dating world? If you are a regular dating app user, you’ll be very familiar with profiles including height – especially when it’s more than 6ft tall. Perhaps you’ve even asked somebody how tall they are because the information is omitted from a profile or been left wondering what somebody is hiding if they leave this information out.

Given the amount of attention given to tall stature on the apps, it can be surprising to learn the average male height in the UK is 5ft 9in. However, according to a 2014 study, 57.1% of women said a man’s height was important to them, compared to 40% of men who viewed woman’s height as important. Another study on dating aps found men that were 6ft 3in or 6ft 4in got 60% more messages than men that were 5ft 7in or 5ft 8in. It’s not uncommon for height to take priority in a profile above listing any significant personality traits.

Tinder even ran an April Fool’s Day joke stating they were launching a Height Verification Badge to ensure nobody was fibbing about their actual stature.  They owned up to the prank but urged users to “stand tall…or short (we don’t care) and embrace who you are.” Height is often an obsession in many parts of life, whether it’s obsessing about the prime minister’s height (5ft 6in) or the fact tall people earn more.

So why does it matter to so many people that their partner fits their height preferences?

For some it’s purely for practical reasons, as they find dating shorter partners can lead to back pain and discomfort as they constantly lean down to be close to them. Taller ladies find height information important when they prefer to find a date who is similar in hight or taller than them. They also use their profile as a place to let prospective dates know in advance that they are tall, feeling some men don’t like a taller date as they feel “emasculated”.  

Other women report feeling more petite and feminine when they are by the side of somebody taller than them. Many still want the option of wearing heels when they are going out with their partner without the extra inches resulting in making them taller than their significant other.

Some people even feel so passionate about the subject they embellish the truth. You may have experienced a match with somebody who has tweaked the truth and added a few bonus inches, trying to attract people to want to meet with them but ultimately leading to disappointment when they are caught out fibbing. Overfocusing on any attribute in dating does run the risk of missing out on what could have been an amazing match. Automatically ruling anybody out who is less than 6ft tall may mean you could miss out on somebody who could have been perfect for you. Having an open mind and not thinking about physical attributes means you can really focus on who the person is and the values and lifestyles you share. Everyone has attributes they search for but overfocusing on too much box ticking means you might inadvertently rule out somebody special. At the end of the day, there’s nothing wrong with being shorter or taller than your partner. Being too obsessed with landing somebody of a certain height might eventually reveal incompatibility when it’s clear you didn’t have enough in common outside of physical attributes you look for. So, embrace everything a person has to say on their profile and be open-minded – perhaps the perfect match for you is the opposite of what you expected!

Are you keen to hear more about the matchmaking process and how Ignite Dating can help you with your dating journey? Just give our expert team a call today and we’ll happily detail more about how our multiple award-winning service works!

Categories
Uncategorized

Signs you are in a rebound relationship

Does it ever work when you jump out of a relationship into a new one? Seeking a new romantic attachment to act as a plaster to get over the wounds of an ex is known as a rebound relationship. You may have been in the situation where person you are newly seeing mentions their ex a little too much, raising your suspicions they are not actually over their split, or you’ve been the one who jumps into a new relationship just weeks after splitting with your long-term partner.   

Rebound relationships can be problematic for a number of reasons. They can come as a reaction to a previous relationship that has broken down, meaning one of you is still dealing with the issues raised by a breakup where you are not yet over an ex. Put simply, the person is still heavily involved with what’s happened in the past. A rebound relationship risks getting messy because those emerging fresh from a breakup can be entering the new relationship to distract them from the split or to avoid dealing with the pain that comes with it. If somebody is masking their grief over a previous breakup, then it makes it hard for them to make a genuine connection with a new partner. However, on the flip side, rebounds have been linked with a self-esteem boost, helping people feel more confident and desirable after the fallout of a breakup.

Somebody may have actively sought out a rebound relationship or ended up falling into one unintentionally. For the person who is not fresh out of a relationship, it can be tricky to deal with suspicions your new love interest is still hung up on somebody else. Rebound dating can end up with the other person feeling unsure if it’s all too soon for this person to be becoming attached and they can end up feeling used if things do fall apart.

We’ve shared our top tips for spotting whether somebody you are interested in is rebounding with you. Here are the red flags to watch out for:

Everything is happening very fast

If after a very short time you feel like you are in a serious, committed relationship with this person it is possible they just want the new arrangement to feel like their old relationship. They may skip the dating part and just want to fall into old routines they had with an ex. Because they want to take their mind off their former partner, they rush into things – and it’s noticeable just how rushed everything feels. Their infatuation is nothing to do with how they really feel about you and you can end up feeling like a fill-in for their old flame.

They talk about their ex all the time

Constantly mentioning their ex in conversation is a big red flag that they’ve not yet moved on from the attachment they had with them. They may show a lot of anger towards their ex, suggesting unresolved issues and a bitterness towards them which suggests they are not over them. You may have a gut feeling they’ve not processed their pain properly. This may come with a relationship breakup that was a shock to them, as opposed to them leaving a relationship that had been in slow decline for a long time.

They keep you at arm’s length

After you’ve been seeing this person a while you may be left wondering why they have not introduced you to their friends and family. Keeping you away from their personal life may suggest they don’t see this relationship as long-term. Another red flag is when they do the opposite, making a big deal of your relationships on social media or at social occasions where they know their ex will be. If their posts seem to be written with the aim of provoking a reaction in their ex more than celebrating your new relationship, then alarm bells should ring.

You don’t know where you stand

Be wary if this person is reluctant to make plans or talk about the future. They may be emotionally unavailable and push you away when things look like they are getting serious. Because they are looking for distraction and trying to cover up their hurt, they may blow hot and cold, bombarding you with mixed signals. Rebound relationships aren’t necessarily doomed to failure, but they will take a lot of work to make them successful. Things can get unhealthy if you are both not on the same page about feelings and expectations about where things are going. If both parties are happy to keep things casual, then just agreeing you want to have a bit of fun might work for you. If the timing is just a bit off and you have met somebody soon after a break-up and feel this person is right for you, then you both need to be prepared to put in the work to ensure a future together. You’ll need to be honest and upfront with each other about what you want out of the relationship and perhaps take it slowly to allow the other person to work on what’s happened in their past.

Are you looking for love this summer? Why not give the experts at Ignite Dating a call today. We work hard to find you the perfect partner, using our expert mix of personality profiling, experienced matchmakers, intuition, and our extensive private network. We work closely with you to find your perfect partner, and together make steps towards the goal of a committed relationship.

Categories
Uncategorized

The best opening lines to use on dating apps

First impressions are always important, and this is particularly true when it comes to breaking the ice on a dating app. There is so much competition in the online dating space, so a simple “hey” or a waving emoji often won’t cut it. These are often unpopular ways to make initial contact as many daters view them as plain lazy. An unoriginal opening line can often be ignored, which can leave you feeling fed up and exhausted by conversations that go nowhere.

The problem is going for a pickup line can feel cheesy, especially if you’ve experienced some particularly cringy openings online or IRL. You’ll recognise the type – everything from “Did it hurt when you fell, when you fell from heaven” to “I’m no photographer but I can picture us together”.  While these sorts of lines used to be confined to chatting somebody up in real life, they have made their mark in the digital world as daters try the same tactic on somebody they’d like to get to know better. With apps, you don’t have the same real-life advantage of flirty smiles and catching somebody’s eye first – so there really is a lot riding on that first line. So how do you tread the line between being too bland and too cheesy?

Ask questions

If you are chatting to lots of matches in the hope of meeting somebody special, then it can feel soul destroying to be typing the same message out again and again. Plus, it can come across as if you’ve made little effort to craft something original if you fall back on the same opener each time. A safe middle ground is to ask somebody questions about their profile to demonstrate you’ve paid attention to what they’ve said rather than just chucking them the same standard opener you’ve used on everybody else. This can be especially useful if you share the same interests, or you spot something you’d love to know more about. It also lets your date know you’ve tried rather than mass messaging to see who replies. However, sometimes a potential love interest’s profile is a bit sparse on detail or you just can’t find something you can relate to. So how can you craft something fun and original without the risk of making the other person cringe?

Quirky opening lines

While they might not be for everybody, a jokey or slightly cheesy opening line can be a good way of gauging if somebody shares the same sense of humour as you. If you try a light-hearted opening line and it does not hit the mark, it might be a hint that you and this person might not hit it off anyway. What might seem like a hilarious joke to you may fall flat when you unleash it on somebody else. If you are going down this route, there can be quite a fine art to coming up with a quip that is clever and interest-grabbing with the right amount of humour. You certainly don’t want to come on too strong, so it’s more about being fun, flirty, and helping to break the tension that can come with chatting with a stranger. Sometimes an interesting and clever question is plenty to show you’re trying while giving them something to work with in their response. You can even pose two questions in your opener which gives them the option to answer one if they don’t like the other one. You want to demonstrate you are curious to learn more about them while piquing their interest enough to reply.

Find mutual interests

Other top tips include commenting on their pet photos, as anybody who has included these is likely to be an animal lover and will be happy to chat about their beloved pet. Travel photos mean you may be able to relate to somewhere they’ve been, or you could always ask them what the best thing was about a destination they’ve visited. Have a bit of fun by asking them to describe themselves in a handful of emojis, which allows them to show off their creative side and adds a bit of fun to the chat. You can even be light-hearted about the dating fails you’ve come up against by asking them the worse opening line they’ve experienced. Asking about their favourite weekend plans gives you an idea of what they like to do which helps judge how compatible you’ll be. And remember, if you’re worried about being judged for what you type, remember often people are just happy that somebody else made the first move. And if you don’t hear back, don’t despair – inboxes get clogged up and a lack of reply is no reason to take it personally.

If you’d like to find out more about award-winning matchmaking service, why not give us a call today? We work closely with you to establish the values and characteristics that are important to you and make personalised introductions. We enjoy working with enthusiastic clients who are committed to finding a life partner with similar family values and outlooks on life and we pride ourselves on providing a dating journey that’ll leave you feeling energised, confident, and safe.

Categories
Uncategorized

How to spot the signs somebody is emotionally unavailable

When you first start dating somebody who is emotionally unavailable, it can be hard to spot the signs and deal with their behaviour. Texts can go unanswered, and they seem close-lipped about so many elements of their life while blowing hot and cold about what you have together. Their approach to the relationship can leave you feeling like there is a barrier to really getting to know them and they can appear distant and uninterested. Because you like this person you end up making excuses for their behaviour, desperately hoping they’ll change in the future.

Emotional unavailability refers to an aversion to developing an authentic, intimate connection in a relationship. An emotional unavailable person will struggle to engage in the emotional bonds needed for a successful relationship, finding it hard to show their emotions. They won’t open up and prefer the safety of discussing surface-level topics, so you don’t get to learn much about their past or the people in their life. They keep you at arm’s length from their personal life, so their friends and family don’t get to know you well and expect you to be around in the future. Life with this person can be extremely confusing, leaving your head spinning as they blow hot and cold.

What are the signs that somebody is emotionally unavailable?

As this sort of behaviour will have an undoubtedly huge impact on a blossoming relationship, it pays to look out for the signs somebody is emotionally unavailable in the dating world. We’ve outlined some top tips for interpreting and recognising their behaviour if you suspect somebody is emotionally unavailable.

Look at their relationship history

It can be a red flag if their relationship history suggests they are incapable of having a successful, long-term committed relationship. They may have a string of short-term relationships or flings behind them because they are uninterested in things getting more serious. It may even be tough to prise the information out of them because they prefer to talk about superficial subjects.

They refuse to open up

No matter how much you try to encourage them, this person will never let their guard down. They won’t want to share anything deep or meaningful, nor will they open up about challenges they are experiencing in their own lives. They also refuse to engage when you raise your own concerns or issues, even if you make it clear you want their input. You feel attempts to share your personal thoughts and feelings are rebuffed and they are far from a shoulder to cry on.

Everything feels inconsistent

It can feel like an emotional rollercoaster dating somebody who is emotionally unavailable. Their communication may be erratic, and they may never try to instigate plans, or they may cancel them altogether at short notice. It’s all about keeping you at arm’s length because of they want to create distance and find excuses not to spend quality time together.  The more you attempt to forge a connection, the more they pull away.

They are reluctant to commit

The relationship may feel like one long episode of game playing, where they become more interested in things when you are unavailable. There’s no settling down into a regular pattern of seeing each other or taking the next step into a committed partnership. It will feel like they are never really invested in the relationship, and they are actively pulling away.

While it can be challenging to handle, dating somebody who is emotional unavailable doesn’t necessarily mean you’re headed for disaster. If you think the relationship has potential, you could tackle the issue head on, having a conversation about what you need from the relationship which gives them the opportunity to try and adapt to meet your needs. If they are receptive, it might imply they are happy to do some deeper work into the route of their issues. Remember the onus is on them to change, rather than taking on this responsibility yourself. If the relationship is leaving you feeling drained, needy, and desperate, and the person is appearing unwilling to change, then it is probably time to move on to avoid prolonging a painful situation. If you doubt that this person can ever meet your emotional needs, then it’s a sign that they aren’t right for you. It’s never a good sign if a relationship is making you unhappy so don’t be afraid to call time on it to protect your feelings and happiness.

Matchmakers become like trusted friends, supporting you with every step of your search for love. We can take all the hard work away, leaving you with a streamlined and enjoyable dating journey. Get in touch today and find out more!

Categories
Uncategorized

Going on your first holiday as a couple

So, you’ve been seeing somebody for a little while and everything is going well. You’ve made it a few months into the relationship so thoughts turn to what might be your first big relationship milestone together – a first holiday spent together as a couple. It can be a make-or-break moment to embark on a mini-break as a new couple, testing how compatible you really are when you’re solely in each other’s company for an extended period.

There is also the question of how far into a relationship you should be to judge it’s the right time for a romantic mini break. A survey about couple’s holidays found 60% of people think it is a good idea to go away with somebody you’ve been seeing for three months. Depending on how much time you’ve spent together as a couple, the three-month mark is often viewed as a good time to take the next step of a shared mini break. Short breaks are often viewed as the safer option to test the waters before committing to a more involved fortnight-long long-haul trip. Going away for two or three days helps gauge how compatible you are as a holidaying couple as it reduces the risk of issues arising as you travel. A city break with a packed itinerary means less fears you’ll run out of things to talk about and gives you plenty to do as you navigate being together 24/7. When the holiday goes well it’s a great way to really enjoy each’s others company without the distractions of everyday life and allows you to really get to know each other.

As it is such an important stage of a blossoming relationship, we’ve shared our top tips for getting the most out of your first couple’s holiday together.

Be mindful of your budget

As unromantic as it may sound, you need to set a budget for the holiday and be on the same page about spending while you are away. Having differing approaches to splashing the cash can cause arguments on holiday, which is the last thing you want when it’s meant to be a romantic break. Be open with each other before you go about what you can afford – splitting the bill can often be the fairest way when you are early on in a relationship, and it’s important to make sure the lower-income partner isn’t stretched by the holiday.

Make sure you are on the same page

Communicate what you like to do on holiday to make sure you are both going to be happy with the final plan. It won’t go well if one of you thinks you’ll be sunbathing all day while the other had expected historic tours of the location’s old town. Try and find a place where you’ll both enjoy what there is to do there. Another big no-no is booking a place you went with an old flame – there’s nothing worse than hearing what your partner got up to with their ex when they holidayed there. Find a location that’s new for both of you and enjoy discovering it together.

Try and avoid nasty surprises

Things can go wrong when you travel which can test even the best relationships. Try and mitigate the risk of disasters by planning your trip carefully, making sure you’ve got the travel timings, documents, and details sorted. That said, don’t over plan your schedule when you are arrive, as there is plenty of fun to be had having spontaneous adventures.

Be present

It can be annoying if you’re partner is permanently wrapped up in their phone when you finally get some time to dedicate to each other. There’s nothing worse than turning around to share a magical moment and find they are totally distracted by a work email or a social media post. Try to limit your phone time and leave non-essential messages and work stuff until you get back.

Have a little time apart

It can add a lot of pressure to a relationship to go from seeing each other several times a week to spending 24/7 together. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a solo activity or just grabbing a little me-time, which’ll give you a bit of space. You may make friends while you are away but it’s advisable not to spend too much time with new people as the other person may resent the encroachment of your time as a couple.

Our dedicated matchmaking team are ready and waiting for your call to help you with your search for love.Get in touch today to find out more!

Categories
Uncategorized

What happens when your friends don’t like your partner?

It is so exciting to find somebody you really share a connection with, that special person who makes you happy. So, when it comes to integrating them into your social circles, it can be extremely upsetting to discover your friends don’t like the person you are seeing. It may be obvious that they’ve taken a dislike to your new partner, or you may be left with a creeping suspicion they aren’t a fan.

Perhaps, for you, it is the other way around and you’ve experienced being in the position where you really don’t like somebody a good friend is seeing. It can be awkward every time they bring them up and difficult when they want to invite them along to a social gathering. It can take a toll on your friendship if you are unenthusiastic about their choice of partner. So why do issues like this exist?

Spotting red flags

If you have a creeping feeling that your close friend isn’t impressed by your choice of partner, they may go quiet when you talk about the things you do together or show little interest in getting to know them better. Friends are often who you turn to when things aren’t too rosy in your relationship and they might not be as forgiving about your partner’s behaviour as you decided to be, plus they aren’t as involved in the making up stages so don’t get a whole picture of what went on. Your friend may have decided to be more upfront about matters, making sceptical comments about your choice of partner or stating they think you could do better.

While it may be tough, it is important to hear what they have to say, even if you are upset that they are judging the relationship. It is possible they have seen something you haven’t in their position as an outsider, especially when you are being swept along in the heady honeymoon stage of the relationship. They may be looking out for you, and because you are so infatuated you may be missing red flags about your new partner that others have spotted. It can help to listen to them as they may have valid points about how you are being treated or they may raise something they’ve spotted in your partner’s behaviour.  True friends will have your best interests at heart so are likely to mean well by raising any concerns they have about your partner, so be wary that reacting badly can hurt your friendships. In these situations, you can weigh up what a friend is trying to tell you. Be open-minded and grateful for their input, even if it can be tempting to be defensive. You may also have suspicions their dislike of your partner is coming from a different place, such as jealousy or disliking the fact your friendship has changed.

When you don’t like a friend’s partner

It’s worth really weighing up why you’re not keen on this person. Is it due to a personality clash? Is it because you’re craving time alone with your friend and you’re fed up with them arriving as a couple at every social event? Or are you truly concerned that the person they are seeing isn’t treating them right? If you really feel strongly that this isn’t the person for them, then it might be time to speak up. However, if it’s more about you than them, then it may be best to keep quiet. If you do decide to voice your concerns, it pays to tread carefully and sow the seeds that something is amiss to let your friend have the time to reach their own conclusion.

It may be worth investing some time in discovering if you do have any shared interests or common ground with a friend’s partner, as you may just have not hit it off initially. Though they may never be your cup of tea, it’s worth recognising they make your friend happy. If you want to spend more one-on-one time with your friend, it’s worth being upfront and making the request so they know how you feel rather than resenting their partner for depriving you of time with your pal.

At the end of the day, it’s also worth realising that accepting the situation can be the easiest way to harmony with your friend, and it saves you getting more and more wound up about the situation. Perhaps it won’t work out in the long run anyway, and you’ll be relieved you’ve not said or done anything you’ll regret. It can also pay to be careful about what you say after they split just in case they eventually decide to get back together!

We’d love to hear your thoughts on the issue of friend’s partners. Have you ever struggled to get along with a friend’s significant other? Have you experienced friends not liking your choice of partner? Share your thoughts over on Facebook or Instagram!

Your dedicated matchmaker is with you every step of the way, working closely with you to understand the characteristics and values that are important to you. Our experienced matchmaking team brings a wealth of knowledge and expertise to make your dating journey as streamlined and enjoyable as possible. Get in touch today to find out how we can help you.

Categories
Uncategorized

What happens when you overshare on a date?

First dates are all about getting to know each other better, but what happens if you take it too far? Sometimes small talk is forgotten on dates when somebody starts dominating the conversation by talking about personal issues that are important to them. In other words, they are oversharing. You can find the conversation slides into deep and serious issues, or the other person seems intent in sharing their entire past relationship history with you. Oversharing can be problematic because it can easily make the wrong sort of impression. Date conversation can be a tricky line to tread, where on the one hand you’re trying to be authentic but without sharing so much personal information that you overwhelm the other person. So how do you judge what’s up for discussion and the deeper topics you should leave until you know this person much better?

It can take some effort to have boundaries with somebody you’ve just met, especially if you are an open person who likes to share in-depth thoughts and feelings with the important people in your life. However, there can be plenty of enjoyment in keeping topics light-hearted and fun, which is usually the safest course of action because you are sharing an evening with somebody who is ultimately a stranger. Otherwise, you risk things going awry as oversharing can ambush even the most promising first date.

While oversharing can be a result of nerves getting the better of you, this sort of behaviour can come across as self-centred because it appears the person is set on dominating the conversation. No matter the topic they’re discussing, it can be annoying if somebody isn’t allowing the conversation to naturally flow back and forth. It can also be a red flag if your date is intent on sharing details of their messy divorce, work woes or health issues, as it can show they have poor boundaries and are coming across as uninterested in the date and discovering more about you. You can risk disagreeing with somebody’s beliefs if you tackle the big topics too early, which can make you come across as critical.

Here are our top tips for dealing with the issue, whether you’ve found yourself oversharing on past dates or you come a chronic oversharer on a date:

  • Remember there is a time and a place for more meatier topics. Invest the time in those early dates to get to know somebody better and to judge whether you want to see them again. Once you’ve established a connection and have got to know each other better, that’s the time for discussing the bigger topics.
  • Deflect any attempts by your date to dig into your past by saying you are happy to share more once you had the chance to get to know them a bit better. You can also try and change the topic or interject with your own experiences if you feel they’ve been dominating the conversation for too long.
  • Make sure you stay firmly in the present. Discussing the past too much, especially concerning exes and failed relationships, makes it seem like you are hung up on past situations or haven’t properly moved on.
  • Try to recognise when you have been speaking for a few minutes and give your date a chance to chat by asking them a question.
  • Being too candid can get in the way of discovering more about your date. Remember, the aim is to learn more about them so you can decide if you want to move things forward to date two.
  • Consider whether your oversharing date is nervous. If you’re seeing plenty of romance potential with this person, it can be worth giving them the benefit of the doubt for now, as their anxiety might be fuelling their excessive talking.
  • Judge your date’s reaction. If they are not reciprocating or looking uncomfortable with what you’re discussing, then it’s time to change the topic.

Are you looking for love? Matchmaking is the perfect way to achieve an easy and stress-free search for love. Give our expert team a call today to see how we can help you!

Categories
Uncategorized

Training is at the heart of our successful matchmaking process

Ignite Dating is thrilled to announce its Surrey matchmaker Sam Rowland-Jones has achieved certified matchmaker status from the Matchmaking Institute (MMI).

The Matchmaking Institute offers tailor-made accredited matchmaker certification courses with a network of graduates from all over the world. The courses are designed to help matchmakers run their businesses more effectively and hone their skills in offering clients’ successful introductions. The Matchmaking Institute is guided by a professional advisory committee who aim to raise standards and ensure a strict code of ethics in the matchmaking industry. 

Michelle Begy, Managing Director and Founder of Ignite Dating, said: “Here at Ignite Dating we have a commitment to a moral and ethical business, and we ensure our clients can trust they are working with the best. We operate a franchise model, and our franchisees complete an extensive in-house training schedule which includes this all-important global accreditation from the Matchmaking Institute. Working with a dedicated head office matching team, Ignite aim to deliver the best matches possible for their clients, helping them to achieve a successful lifetime partnership”.

She adds: “By investing in extensive training and mentorship we are ensuring that all our clients receive the same award-winning, customer-centric service wherever they are based in the world”.

Sam Rowland-Jones adds: “To be a successful matchmaker, you need plenty of empathy, strong emotional intelligence, and the intuition to be able to quickly judge if two people are going to work well together. It is a real privilege to be able to use these skills to grow a successful business while offering my clients a supportive dating journey that leaves them feeling energised and safe.”

As well as training, the Matchmaking Institute offers its graduates continued support through workshops and professional global conferences as well as opportunities to connect with peers in the industry.

Ignite Dating helps busy professionals across the UK find a life partner. We pride ourselves on the quality of our service and go above and beyond the industry standard. Every client has their very own dedicated matchmaker who works with them to offer guidance and support throughout their dating journey. For more information on Ignite Dating and its highly commended services, get in touch today!

Categories
Uncategorized

Tips for dating when you are in your fifties

Searching for a partner in your fifties can be a great experience for a number of reasons. Many people grow more comfortable in their skin as they get older and have a better idea of what they are looking for in a partner. A recent survey found 60% of over-50 daters say they make better decisions about compatibility than when they were younger.

However, dating can present plenty of challenges if you’ve not been single for a long time, especially because the dating landscape has changed so much in the past decade. Even if you’ve been dating on and off through the years, the modern dating world can present many of unexpected – and unpleasant – experiences.

The most significant change you may come up against is just how much the modern dating scene has changed due to the prevalence of dating apps and chatting online. It can bear no resemblance to how you had been used to meeting people and can be bewildering to encounter for the first time. The bad behaviour and commitment issues you can encounter on the apps can be an unwelcome challenge to navigate.

The good news is you can best prepare yourself for the dating world by taking into account some hard-won advice from daters who have been in your shoes. Despite the changed landscape, there is so much to enjoy in embarking on a search for love. Read on for our top tips for ensuring you’ll really enjoy meeting new people and get the most out of every single date.

Be content with being single:  It’s important to be secure in who you are before you start searching for love. Ensure you are ready to meet somebody rather than craving it because you are lonely. There are many benefits to being single, including privacy, independence and sharing great relationships with friends and family, so make the most of this time until you feel you are truly ready to date. It’s much better to have a fulfilling single life than settling for somebody who doesn’t set your world alight. It can take time to rebuild confidence after a bad break-up so really take the time to find your feet again before you jump into dating.

Don’t be afraid of online dating: You may be new to the apps, but using online dating for the first time can be a great way to introduce you to people you never would have come across in real life. Keep the conservation to the dating app – be wary of anybody who tries to get you to leave the site to chat elsewhere away from the moderation policies and monitoring of the team behind the app. Really pay attention to what the person is saying. What people do and say online often reflects how they’ll behave offline so keep an eye out for red flags. Be wary if it appears they are attempting to cover up something in their photo, such as wearing hats, sunglasses or posing miles away from the camera, as they may be concealing something. There are apps specialising in over-fifties dating or you may find the mainstream big names work best for you. Decide what you want from the experience and search for likeminded people, whether it’s for something more casual or a committed relationship.

Don’t get hung up on baggage: You’ve both probably been through some big things in your life at this point, including perhaps health issues, horrific exes, and a string of awful dates. However, the first date is not the time to share them. The first few dates should be used to suss out the person’s personality, seeing what you’ve got in common and deciding if you are both curious enough about each other to take things further. Bonding over baggage is not a great way to get to know each other and should be saved until you know each other better.

Work with a matchmaker: If you are looking for support and expertise to get your dating journey on track, it can really pay to work with a matchmaker. They can take all the hard work out of finding somebody special, working hard to understand what you are looking for and actively making introductions to amazing people. Here at Ignite Dating we headhunt suitable matches, leaving you free to enjoy an easy and stress-free search for love. 

If you’d like a helping hand to get your dating journey on the track for success, then give the experts at Ignite a call today