Does it ever work when you jump out of a relationship into a new one? Seeking a new romantic attachment to act as a plaster to get over the wounds of an ex is known as a rebound relationship. You may have been in the situation where person you are newly seeing mentions their ex a little too much, raising your suspicions they are not actually over their split, or you’ve been the one who jumps into a new relationship just weeks after splitting with your long-term partner.
Rebound relationships can be problematic for a number of reasons. They can come as a reaction to a previous relationship that has broken down, meaning one of you is still dealing with the issues raised by a breakup where you are not yet over an ex. Put simply, the person is still heavily involved with what’s happened in the past. A rebound relationship risks getting messy because those emerging fresh from a breakup can be entering the new relationship to distract them from the split or to avoid dealing with the pain that comes with it. If somebody is masking their grief over a previous breakup, then it makes it hard for them to make a genuine connection with a new partner. However, on the flip side, rebounds have been linked with a self-esteem boost, helping people feel more confident and desirable after the fallout of a breakup.
Somebody may have actively sought out a rebound relationship or ended up falling into one unintentionally. For the person who is not fresh out of a relationship, it can be tricky to deal with suspicions your new love interest is still hung up on somebody else. Rebound dating can end up with the other person feeling unsure if it’s all too soon for this person to be becoming attached and they can end up feeling used if things do fall apart.
We’ve shared our top tips for spotting whether somebody you are interested in is rebounding with you. Here are the red flags to watch out for:
Everything is happening very fast
If after a very short time you feel like you are in a serious, committed relationship with this person it is possible they just want the new arrangement to feel like their old relationship. They may skip the dating part and just want to fall into old routines they had with an ex. Because they want to take their mind off their former partner, they rush into things – and it’s noticeable just how rushed everything feels. Their infatuation is nothing to do with how they really feel about you and you can end up feeling like a fill-in for their old flame.
They talk about their ex all the time
Constantly mentioning their ex in conversation is a big red flag that they’ve not yet moved on from the attachment they had with them. They may show a lot of anger towards their ex, suggesting unresolved issues and a bitterness towards them which suggests they are not over them. You may have a gut feeling they’ve not processed their pain properly. This may come with a relationship breakup that was a shock to them, as opposed to them leaving a relationship that had been in slow decline for a long time.
They keep you at arm’s length
After you’ve been seeing this person a while you may be left wondering why they have not introduced you to their friends and family. Keeping you away from their personal life may suggest they don’t see this relationship as long-term. Another red flag is when they do the opposite, making a big deal of your relationships on social media or at social occasions where they know their ex will be. If their posts seem to be written with the aim of provoking a reaction in their ex more than celebrating your new relationship, then alarm bells should ring.
You don’t know where you stand
Be wary if this person is reluctant to make plans or talk about the future. They may be emotionally unavailable and push you away when things look like they are getting serious. Because they are looking for distraction and trying to cover up their hurt, they may blow hot and cold, bombarding you with mixed signals. Rebound relationships aren’t necessarily doomed to failure, but they will take a lot of work to make them successful. Things can get unhealthy if you are both not on the same page about feelings and expectations about where things are going. If both parties are happy to keep things casual, then just agreeing you want to have a bit of fun might work for you. If the timing is just a bit off and you have met somebody soon after a break-up and feel this person is right for you, then you both need to be prepared to put in the work to ensure a future together. You’ll need to be honest and upfront with each other about what you want out of the relationship and perhaps take it slowly to allow the other person to work on what’s happened in their past.
Are you looking for love this summer? Why not give the experts at Ignite Dating a call today. We work hard to find you the perfect partner, using our expert mix of personality profiling, experienced matchmakers, intuition, and our extensive private network. We work closely with you to find your perfect partner, and together make steps towards the goal of a committed relationship.