Fireworks vs slow burn relationships – what’s best?

When you’ve met a new love interest, is it better to have a slow burn or a fiery start to the relationship? You may have experienced both as you navigate the dating world but is the type of chemistry you share at the beginning a sign of how successful the relationship will eventually be?

When it comes to some unions, the beginning stages of a relationship are a fantastically passionate time where you just can’t get enough of each other. You want to spend every minute of your time with your new partner, and it feels amazing to be wrapped up in each other’s lives. A fiery, passionate relationship develops, which involves intense feelings and sometimes jumping straight into planning a future together. It’s a rapid-fire romance, in other words.

In other cases, it takes longer to decide if there is a spark. Some prefer not to dive into a new relationship, instead taking things slowly to be sure there is a connection there. You may have had a date where there isn’t an instant spark but something about this person makes you think it’s worth investing the time to get to know them better.

You may focus on really getting to know each other, sharing plenty of dates, texts, and phone calls, and discovering lots about each other and what you have in common. Dates may be based around activities you enjoy and spending quality time together. Love and chemistry build over time as you get to know each other better. It’s about making sure you are a good match before committing to becoming more serious.  

It can be confusing when you meet somebody new to decide what you should be experiencing. Is there no hope you’ll work out if you don’t share instant fireworks? Is a passionate and instant connection a recipe for disaster further down the line?

There can be beauty in both approaches to a relationship developing. Some argue the “simmer” approach to getting to know somebody means you won’t miss out on somebody who is amazing because you initially dismissed them due to a lack of instant chemistry. First dates can be nerve-wracking and often don’t give you the chance to really get to know somebody, so if you feel like this is somebody who may have romance potential, then move things forward to date two and beyond. You may well discover a genuine connection and fondness that is a much stronger foundation than falling for somebody based purely on lust and attraction.

When it comes to fireworks, there are often criticisms that the love-at-first sight feeling isn’t sustainable in the long run. Basing a relationship on lust from the offset can make you overlook the important characteristics of the person as you are blinded by your initial feelings for them. You may initially feel there is nothing wrong with this person, but the connection then fizzles when you both can’t maintain the energy that went into the relationship initially and you ultimately don’t share the lifestyles and values that long-term partnerships are built on. However, passionate beginnings can settle into long-term harmony if you have enough in common and share a healthy amount of compatibility. Passion does naturally ebb and flow depending on where you are in your relationship and what’s going on in both your lives, so it’s natural for the initial all-consuming lust to settle down once you are in a long-term relationship.

Sometimes fireworks can spell trouble. It can be hard to see the wood for the trees when you feel so passionately about somebody, which makes it hard to spot red flags in the relationship. The chemistry you feel being extremely addictive and intense. However, there can be a turbulent sting in the tail to the connection you have. This sort of relationship will be characterised by a fiery cycle of angry breakups and reunions, a pattern neither of you can bring yourself to break. It can be hard to see what’s truly going on because you feel so convinced that this relationship is meant to be because you are so drawn to this person. Life is an emotional rollercoaster, with intense highs and lows that you wouldn’t expect in a healthy relationship. One minute you feel happy, the next you are upset things aren’t going well. At the end of the day, you may need to acknowledge what you think you want is not right for you and is never going to last.

Are you looking for somebody special who will truly understand you and share your values, life goals and aspirations? Your dedicated matchmaker is waiting to introduce you to some truly amazing individuals. Get in touch today to find out how we can help you with a safe and enjoyable search for love.

More Blogs

Ready to start your love story?

We are an elite matchmaking agency specialising in hand selected personal introductions. Working with your own experienced and trained matchmaker based in the UK, start your love story today.

By sending this form you have read and understood our Privacy Policy and terms of service.