From going steady in the 80s, to avoiding scrubs
in the 90s and looking for your boo in the 00s, dating lingo is always changing
and some of the new trends that emerge are entertaining, to say the least! So
if you’re feeling nostalgic for the times when you’d make a mixtape for your
crush, never fear! As the dating world changes to adapt to social media, apps
like Tinder and our always-on culture, dating lingo is getting even better.
In fact, in 2020 you can breadcrumb someone (lead them on with no intention of getting serious), slide into their DMs (send them a private message on social media), catfish them (pretend to be someone you’re not) and even find yourself being Marleyed (being contacted out of the blue by an ex on Christmas day).
But one of our favourites and one phrase that
seems to be sticking around is ghosting. You may or may not be familiar with
this term, but below we’re going to tell you a little bit about it so you can
recognise if you’ve ever been ghosted before – or perhaps if you’re being
ghosted right now!
What is ghosting?
Ghosting is essentially when you ignore someone’s messages (and
general existence) and disappear from their lives without any real explanation.
People do this because they may have met someone else or because it’s easier
than having to tell someone they don’t like them or want to date them anymore.
So to be ghosted means to have someone stop
replying to your messages or answering your calls, without actually letting you
know they don’t want a relationship from you. This can be quite a hurtful
experience, especially in the age of instant messaging. But sadly it is
becoming more and more common.
Have you ever been
ghosted?
Have you ever been on a few dates or begun messaging someone, only for them to phase you out or stop talking to you quite abruptly? You might have wondered what was going on at the time, you might have thought that the relationship had simply run its course, or perhaps if you were talking to more than one person, you didn’t notice this particular one had slipped away. Either way, you were probably ghosted.
How to get over it
If you really like the person you’re dating,
ghosting can be quite a difficult pill to swallow. After all, they could at
least give you an explanation and let you know they don’t want to see you
anymore – even if it is hard to hear. But if you’ve found you have been
ghosted, don’t let it get you down, there are several things you can do to get
over it:
Acknowledge your feelings
because it’s OK to be upset about it
Don’t be too hard on yourself,
it says more about them than it does you
Reflect that it’s maybe less
painful than a massive argument
Talk it out with friends or
family
Accept that it’s happened but
that it’s not the end of your dating life
Move on and continue to search
– they obviously weren’t right for you anyway (this is the really important
one!!)
Tired of being ghosted? At Ignite, we understand that finding the right person takes time and that you might occasionally find yourself in situations where you’re ghosted by someone you liked. But we’re here to support you on your journey, to introduce you to potential partners who you have a lot in common with and to help you move on and carry on the search if it doesn’t work out. Get in touch with our friendly team today.
Among today’s non-stop,
technology driven culture, it’s unsurprising that more and more of us are
turning to technology to fill our boredom and to look for love.
With virtual meetings in the
workplace now being commonplace, and having instant access to devices such as
smartphones, game consoles, not to mention an almost unlimited choice of
television shows, the art of effective communication for dating using body language
could almost be said to be an endangered skill.
The irony is, as humans, we crave
a deeper level of connection with others, one in which we can accurately
express ourselves and our emotions without having to rely on the use of an
emoji or meme, and this level of communication undoubtedly cannot be fulfilled
through technology alone.
The Aura of confidence
Have you ever been sat in a bar or a coffee shop, opposite someone and intuitively been able to pick up on what type of person they might be? You may even say they’re giving off a certain type of ‘aura‘
However you label these feelings
and thoughts, what is undeniable, is that you are basing these first
impressions of them from their body language!
I wonder if you have ever thought
about how you are being perceived, and what type of messages you are sending
through your own body language? Do you think people see you as being confident,
shy, or even aggressive?
With over 90% of communication
being nonverbal, it’s little wonder that we’re able to form an opinion of
someone without even speaking to them.
All of us at one time or another
have been in a situation where we have tried to find the perfect words to say
to someone we were attracted to, when all along these words we were looking for
was only accounting for 7% of the communication we’re sending. Were we focusing
as hard on the other 93%?
And while we all know that your
mood affects your body language, remember it’s just as true the other way round
– your physicality impacts your psychology. This means, if you carry yourself
confidently then not only will other people notice, but you will also feel more
confident.
Dynamic dating
We can all agree that the ways in which we can now find love using technology has undoubtedly been a game changer for the dating world. However, through these times of change, what has survived, and for the most part, not been impacted, is how we still make those important first and lasting impressions during a date- when we come face to face and actually meet the other person.
Being great at texting and
talking on the phone is one thing, but making a great first impression face to
face is a completely different ball game.
I want to share with you some of
the effective nonverbal and body language techniques to use for making that
great impression on the first date.
Eye contact
We’ve all heard the saying “The
eyes are the window of the soul” and in the world of dating this is very much
true. Someone’s eyes can tell you how the other person is feeling, even if they
don’t tell you out loud. Eye contact can also be far more intimate than words.
One of the most important ways of
portraying confidence is effective eye contact.
This doesn’t mean you need to be
constantly staring at the other person like they’re your next meal, but a good
level of eye contact when your eyes meet can be attractive, flirtatious and
display confidence; but watch out for any eye rolling- you want to be showing
your interest, not your boredom or disapproval.
Smile, it’s contagious
Although it may sound obvious, a simple smile can work
wonders. Not only is it a universal sign of happiness, it
also releases endorphins, a natural
feel-good chemical to
actually make you feel
happier.
When we smile at another
person, it hits their mirror neurons and they may involuntarily smile
back.
Of course I’m not saying you
need to walk around smiling like a Cheshire cat all the time, but a smile will
make you more approachable and attractive.
Posture
Don’t be a sloucher! If you want
to be more attractive and catch someone’s attention, then you should be aware
of how you’re sitting, standing and how you carry yourself.
Great posture sends positive
messages, and you’re also projecting confidence. You want this to be open and
to avoid being closed off, that means, sit up straight, lean towards them
slightly if you’re sitting down together, and show them you are interested
through your body language.
Watch those hands
Hands can tell you a lot about a
person. If you want to show someone that you feel at ease and comfortable
around them, you can do this by having open hands and not hiding them. Because
you want to portray confidence, you don’t want to fidget or hide them.
You use your hands to help
express how you feel – if you were to put your favorite show on mute for 5
minutes, you could probably pick up on how the characters were interacting just
by watching their hand gestures. So don’t shut them off, but make sure they’re
sending the right signals – open and positive.
Finally, one other thing about
hands – you use them to check your phone. We all do it, but the last thing your
date wants to see you doing is constantly staring at it, as if you’re more
interested in what’s on with your phone than them. So, general rule of thumb –
stay off it.
Positioning
Ok, let’s talk about feet. Now
you may be wondering ‘what on earth can someone’s feet tell me about another
person?!’ Quite a lot, actually! For instance, if you notice that the person
you’re talking to is positioned with their feet slightly pointing towards
another person, this could be an indicator they want to be talking to them
instead. To be comfortable and relaxed, your feet also should be around 6-8
inches apart aligned with your body. Too wide apart can be assertive and
threatening – too narrow and you’ll fall over! Most people will focus so much
on their upper body and face movements, they will completely forget about
what’s going on down below.
Mirroring
Opposites attract, right? Wrong!!
And there’s a large amount of research to back this up – it turns out that
we’re actually more attracted to people that we’re similar to or aspire to be
like, and mirroring is body language telling you so. Mirroring is essentially
copying the body language of the other person to create and demonstrate rapport.
It is typically subconscious, so if you were to notice the other person
mirroring you, this could be a sign that they’re interested. You can do it on
purpose to build commonality but this has to be done outside the other person’s
conscious awareness so they don’t pick up on what you’re doing, otherwise they
may just think you’re faking it or even making fun of them!
So, the next time you’re out on a
romantic date, trying to impress someone, or want to get into rapport, then
don’t forget about what your body language is saying about you – and make sure
it’s the message you want to be sending!
At Ignite Dating, we understand the importance of finding the right person for you. Someone who complements your personality and lifestyle. That’s why we spend time getting to know you, so we can use a perfect mixture of Myers Briggs personality profiling, your feedback and our expertise to match you with great potential partners. If you’d like to know more about how we can help you find love,get in touch with our friendly team today.
The 1990s.. what a time to be alive! The Stone
Roses, Sex in the City or Friends (or both), Gladiators, Pulp Fiction, Blur vs
Oasis, Keanu, the Spice Girls – oh, and Mandela was freed!
And an even better time to be on the dating scene. From making mixtapes to talking for three hours on the landline, getting ready for your date (with the help of your friends) was just as exciting as actually going on it. And of course, most of us learnt to navigate the dating world with the help of Cilla and Graham.
But it’s now 2020, Blind Date has been replaced
with Take Me Out, Tinder has changed the way people meet and sadly cassettes
are no longer a thing (I suppose you could always make your date a playlist on
Spotify). So how much has the dating landscape changed in the last 30 years and
are the dating rules of 2020 the same as they were in 1990?
The rules for dating in 1990
During the 1990s a very controversial book was
released called ‘The Rules’ which claimed to be a time-tested guide
to dating. Even for back then, it was full of some ridiculous and outdated
suggestions – for example, don’t look at your date too much and don’t tell them
what you want in bed – but despite this, there were some generally
well-accepted rules for dating in the 90s. These were:
Pick your date up from their
house – typically this means the man would go to the woman’s home instead of
meeting at the chosen venue
Have a plan and something
booked for the evening – don’t just wing it!
Ask questions and get to know
them – don’t just talk about yourself
Don’t sleep with each other on
the first date – remember the five date rule
Generally, men pick up the
cheque at the end of the date – it’s the gentlemanly thing to do
If you like them, call them –
calling on the landline or leaving a message on the answerphone shows them the
date went well
Are these rules still relevant in 2020?
Clearly, there are some of these rules no longer
apply, thanks in most part to big strides in equality and technology, and for
the most part we should be grateful for that. For example, men are no longer
expected to pick up the bill and it’s certainly less taboo to hook up on the
first date. It is also no longer necessary for the man to pick up his date at
her home – in fact, it is safer and recommended that you meet at the venue or
in a public space during the early stages of dating.
That said, some of these rules – and arguably the less offensive ones – still remain today. It can be nice to have a plan for your date and you should always ask questions and get to know one another. Calling your date to let them know you had a good time is also appreciated, though nowadays WhatsApp seems to be the preferred method of communication. And to be honest, we’re a bit nostalgic for some 90s trends like writing little messages to one another on Post-It notes and being fully present during a date (not checking your mobile phone every two minutes)!
So I guess what we’re saying here is that the rules of dating have certainly changed over the last 30 years, with technology and equality playing a huge role in this. That said, some are as true as they have ever been and one or two others might make the dating world a better place. So let’s bring back the good parts and leave the rest in the 90s where they belong.
At Ignite Dating, we understand that the times have changed, but we know that dating agencies still remain a great and successful way to meet people. Our dedicated matchmakers are there to help you navigate the world of dating in 2020 and to find you the perfect match. If you’d like to know more, get in touch with our friendly team today.
In the era of dating apps and social media, you
might think matchmaking is a bit of an outdated profession. But nothing could
be further from the truth! Tinder is all well and good in the early stages of
your dating life, but many quickly become bored with the casual hookups, fake
accounts and deciding whether to swipe right on someone based on just 500
characters or less.
In fact, when you’re looking for a long-term
partner, someone you can share a genuine connection with, dating apps can be a
real let down. That’s why many hopeful singles will retire their profiles and
turn to dating agencies to help them find true love instead.
There are a huge number of benefits to using
matchmakers, in particular that they take their time to get to know you so they
can help you find someone who complements your lifestyle and shares your
dreams. But if you’re still not sure why you should outsource your dating life
to a professional, here are nine things a matchmaker can do for you.
1. They work while you do
Gone are the days when you only had your evenings and weekends to spend flicking through dating apps or trying to meet someone in your favourite bar. Matchmakers are dedicated professionals, working tirelessly to find you the perfect partner. While you work, do your grocery shopping, go to the dentist or spend time with friends, they’ll be working hard for you.
2. They use their emotional intelligence to
help you find the right match
Being a successful matchmaker is all about being
emotionally intelligent and having a sixth sense about people. This is very
often a skill they are born with and not something that can be taught or
learnt. Matchmakers can use this intuition to quickly decide if two people are likely
to work well together – particularly impressive given how unpredictable and
mysterious love can be. This saves you time, effort and awkward dates with
people who really aren’t right for you, protecting you from the stress and
heartache that can accompany dating.
3. They act like a life coach and therapist
When you’re working with a matchmaker you’ll
quickly find they become a friend and life coach as well. This is because
looking for love can be a tiring, emotional and sometimes long journey and you
need someone who is there to support you and encourage you to keep going, even
after a particularly rubbish date or when a relationship doesn’t quite work out.
They are the perfect combination of life coach, therapist and matchmaker. They listen to you and really get to know you. They give you a chance to talk about past relationships and then they motivate you to stay positive and strong, knowing that it can take time but you will eventually find the right person.
4. They run the background checks
Another huge benefit of using a matchmaker is
that they will run background checks. Sadly, apps like Tinder have become a
prime location for fraudulent accounts and cybercriminals looking to scam the unsuspecting
and vulnerable. Not only this but with no background checks, people can be
whoever they want to be – even if that
means they tell some pretty big lies in their bio.
Matchmakers can run ID and background checks to
make sure every individual you meet is legitimate and is who they say they are.
This gives you an increased sense of security and also means you aren’t going
to be disappointed by meeting someone who wasn’t at all what you expected.
5. They get to know what you want
One of the most important things a matchmaker will do is spend some time really getting to know you. If they hope to use their skills to find your perfect match, they first need to know more about who you are and what it is you want from a partner – and this includes even the smallest details. You’ll be surprised how even the tiniest bit of information about yourself can help them to find you a partner with similar interests, ambitions and aspirations, hugely important when you’re looking for a long-term relationship.
6. They help you to learn about yourself
One of the greatest and most surprising benefits
of using a matchmaker is that they can help you to learn so much about
yourself. You might think you know exactly what you want in a partner, but
after a few conversations with your matchmaker (and perhaps an unsuccessful
date or two), you might find that they’ve asked some interesting questions and
you begin to re-evaluate what it is you want from a relationship.
They can also give you more confidence and help
you to relax. When you’re dating, it can be an additional stress worrying about
whether someone likes you back or if there is a common romantic interest. Using
a matchmaker can help to make this much clearer and after a while, even though
dates may not always work out, you’ll come to feel better about the fact that
they obviously weren’t right for you.
Ultimately, most people find the whole process of using a matchmaker eye-opening and they actually learn a lot about themselves. This can then help them to have more successful and fulfilling relationships overall, and more fun and less stress on the journey.
7. They will be honest with you
It’s not always their favourite part of the job
but matchmakers will always be honest with you – because they have to be if
they want to help you find the right person! Although it’s not always nice to
hear either, if you’ve been on a date and the other person didn’t feel a
connection, they’ll let you know right away. This way you can move on and begin
meeting with other potential partners who may feel more of a spark.
They can also help to take some of the mystery
and anxiety out of dating. Sitting by your phone for days waiting for a reply
or wondering why your last date completely ghosted you is never fun. By being
honest, your matchmaker will keep you motivated and on track to finding true
love.
8. They give you a more personal experience
Dating apps, blind dates or speed dating
sessions can feel very shallow and sometimes very cold and impersonal. By
choosing to work with a matchmaker they’ll give you a much more personal and
enjoyable dating journey.
After all, anyone can hide behind their keyboard and spend hours swiping right on dating apps, but this is often dissatisfying and can leave people feeling bitter or depressed about the dating world. Joining up with a matchmaker can help to turn this around and get you excited about dating again.
9. They can help you find love
Last but certainly not least, perhaps the most obvious benefit of all, matchmakers can help you to find true love. Using their skills, emotional intelligence and time, they can help you to find the perfect partner. And trust us, once you’ve signed up you’ll be forever glad you put your love life in their very capable hands.
At Ignite Dating, our expert matchmakers use a mixture of Myers Briggs personality profiling, intuition and their expertise to match you with potential partners. We offer support and absolute discretion when presenting you with matches and your dedicated matchmaker will work closely with you to get a better understanding of what it is you want from a partner. They will then present you with carefully selected and vetted matches so you can begin your journey to finding true love. Join us today.
Whether you live in Hampshire and the
surrounding areas or you just fancied a change of scenery, this gorgeous county
can be the ideal location for your next date. The perfect blend of cities,
coastlines and sweeping countrysides, you’re sure to find something that you’ll
both love. You can spend days exploring the national parks or dine out in the
ancient capital of England, and there are plenty of romantic settings to set
the mood for your big date.
So if you’re looking for inspiration for the
perfect date in Hampshire, look no further. Below are six ideas for beautiful
days out and romantic evenings full of fine dining and entertainment.
1. Bombay Sapphire Distillery
Are you a gin enthusiast? Then why not take a guided tour around the Bombay Sapphire Distillery in Whitchurch. You’ll be shown around the distillery and taken on a sensory experience in the Botanical Dry Room, before enjoying a complimentary drink in the Mill Bar. This could be the perfect way to set the tone for your evening, before heading off into the night (perhaps to drink more gin!).
2. Catch a show at the Anvil
The Anvil Arts in Basingstoke has hosted a huge range
of famous guests over the years. So whether you like stand up comedy, music,
drama or even dance, you’re sure to find something to keep you both entertained
for the evening.
3. New Forest National Park
Enjoy a day (or even a weekend) exploring the New Forest National Park. Home to a number of quaint little towns and villages, plus plenty of beautiful walking routes, you’ll be spoilt for choice on your date. Here you can make the most of nature. So why not sit and have a picnic as you watch the wildlife go by or, if you’re keen cyclists or feeling a bit more active, grab your bikes and go for a ride around one of the many forest routes.
4. Dine out in Winchester
Did you know that Winchester used to be the
capital of England? It’s no wonder then that this historic town can make for a
very interesting and romantic night out. Along its cobbled streets are a number
of delicious places to stop for dinner, from cosy pubs to Michelin starred
restaurants. The tricky part is deciding where to go!
5. Spinnaker tower and Gunwharf Quays
Why not arrange a day out in Portsmouth, culminating in an evening of food and drink. Kickstart the day by visiting the 170-metre Spinnaker Tower and enjoying breathtaking views from the top. After this, you can enjoy a bit of shopping, eating and drinking around Gunwharf Quays, a beautiful waterfront outlet with over 30 bars and restaurants to choose from.
6. Beaulieu
If you’re looking for something a little different, Beaulieu is a beautiful small village in the New Forest. Home to the National Motor Museum, Beaulieu Abbey, a monorail and beautiful grounds and gardens, you can plan a fun and relaxing day out at this award-winning village.
If you’re looking for love in Hampshire, we can help! At Ignite Dating, we’ll take our time to get to know you and what you want from a partner, so we can help you find your perfect match. Join us today and soon it could be you organising a date at one of the romantic venues listed above.
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