Top tips for getting over a painful break-up

Sadly, it’s a situation most of us have found ourselves in – some of us many times over. The break-up of a relationship can be devastating, leaving you feeling heartbroken and struggling to imagine what life will look like without that all-important person in it. It can be irrelevant whether you initiated the split, whether the decision was mutual, or if the other person called time on the relationship. Going your separate ways can be extremely tough and it can take a long time to recover from the impact of a relationship ending.

Break-ups can be incredibly painful and there is no right or wrong way to deal with a heart-breaking split. However, there are some predictable stages to a breakup, which are often likened to the stages of grief you experience as you mourn a death. These include denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance.

However, breaking up is not necessarily a linear process so it’s not unusual to bounce around between these stages, experiencing them out of order or not encountering them at all. You may have experienced first-hand the agonising disbelief that a relationship is over, which can lead to resorting to bargaining tactics in a bid to attempt to salvage the relationship. Unfortunately, this rarely works. Anger may manifest in many ways, whether it’s directed at your ex, external factors involved in the breakup, or even friends that want to maintain a relationship with both of you rather than taking sides. Many of us will recognise the huge sadness that accompany a breakup, which can take a toll on your body and make every day feel like an emotional rollercoaster. However, these negative feelings will eventually pass, and you will, in time, make peace with the situation.

Although it can feel like the pain will never end, there are ways to help get over a painful split. Here are our top tips to help you if you are finding it hard to move on from a relationship which has come to a sad end.

Don’t forget your support network

While it can be all-too tempting to curl up into a ball and shut out the world, it’s important to make sure you let your friends and family support you at this difficult time. Your nearest and dearest can offer a fresh perspective on the split and be there for you when you are struggling, providing a valuable distraction.

Beware of romanticising

It can be tempting to have a rose-tinted view of your time together when you are mourning the loss of a relationship, and this can easily lead you to forgetting to factor in the bad parts. Being realistic about what wasn’t great about the relationship helps you strengthen your resolve that it was ultimately the right choice to call it a day, no matter who initiated the breakup.

Focus on you

Elements of your character can get lost in the things you liked to do as a couple – perhaps you loved watching horror movies, but your partner wasn’t a fan. Rediscovering old interests is a great way of re-establishing your identity outside of the partnership.

Cut ties

It can be tempting to try and maintain a connection with an ex, but this can ultimately prolong the pain. A clean break can be the best way forward for healing and moving on.

Look to the future

Don’t see the time spent in the relationship as wasted, as you can learn a lot from your experience and the time you spent together which will help you decide what you really want from your next relationship. When the time is right, you’ll be in a much better place to move on and meet somebody you’ll truly have a fantastic connection with. 

Work with the experts

Although it can be hard to believe, in time you will move on from your ex and get over them for good. And when you feel it is the right time to meet somebody new, it can really help to have support and advice of a trusted individual, so you aren’t facing a search for love alone. This is where our matchmakers come in, offering their expertise and extensive private network to help you easily find great people you’ll really share a spark with. Our matchmakers act like a trusted friend, being on-hand to offer advice every step of the way. This support is invaluable if you’ve experienced a particularly bad break-up and empowers you to focus on what you really want out of your next relationship. All you need to do is leave it to the experts and get out there again to enjoy some truly exciting dates!

Are you keen to hear more about the matchmaking process and how Ignite Dating can help you with your dating journey? Just give our expert team a call today and we’ll happily detail more about how our multiple award-winning service works!


Find the best date ideas in Dorset this autumn

If you are lucky enough to live in Dorset, you’ll be sure to appreciate the natural beauty and fantastic mix of coast and countryside that lies on your doorstep. The county is famous for its sandy beaches and crystal-clear waters as well as the more rugged beauty spots found along the Jurassic Coast. Sun-kissed peninsula Sandbanks is recognised as one of the most exclusive areas in the world to live and is a favourite with celebrities.

There is a lot more to Dorset than sun-seeking and battling throngs of tourists for the prime beach spot in the balmy summer months though. As the temperatures drop the area still has plenty to offer when it comes to finding some truly exciting date ideas. So, whether you are local to the area or looking for visit for a romantic mini break – it’s approximately two hours from London on the train – check out our top tips for some truly enjoyable dates this autumn and winter.

Fabulous foodie experiences

Dorset is a must-visit foodie destination, with plenty of celebrated chefs having established notable eateries in the area. These include Mark Hix, who opened The Oyster and Fish House which boasts panoramic views across the Jurassic Coast and Lyme Regis. BBC Masterchef winner Mat Follas is behind the Bramble Restaurant, a small cosy dining experience in Sherborne. TV regular Mitch Tonks’ Rockfish restaurant group has outlets in Poole and Weymouth, giving you ample opportunity to sample their delicious seafood. You can also sample iconic seafood dishes over at Rick Stein’s restaurant in Sandbanks, which offers a sea view terrace where you can cosy-up under blankets and enjoy the views of Poole harbour. If you are keen on discovering new wines, you’ll find vineyard tours on offer at Langham Wine Estate with the opportunity to sample some tasty fizz over a lazy lunch.

Romantic beach walks

The beach doesn’t cease to be a draw once the sun cream is packed away for the season. It can be lovely to get wrapped up warm and enjoy a bracing walk along the shoreline, with less crowds to contend with as well. If you’re local you’ve probably experienced all the big hitters before, so why not seek out some hidden gems a bit further afield? Mupe Bay is just around the corner from the famous Lulworth Cove but much more tranquil in comparison and a great place to enjoy some valuable relaxation time after an invigorating hike to reach the beach. Do your homework before you set off though, as the trails are only open certain times depending on whether the land is being used for military exercises. Find striking views at Church Ope Cove, where you might even spot a dolphin if you’re lucky. Some beaches are so off the beaten track you might even find them completely empty, making for a super opportunity for a romantic stroll and private picnic for two.

Take in some culture

The National Trust boasts some noteworthy properties which are well worth a visit. Corfe Castle is a dramatic thousand-year-old ruin which boasts fantastic views across the Purbeck countryside. The quaint village of the same name is well worth spending time in to enjoy the traditional village pubs and explore the quirky independent shops. Kingston Lacy is a fascinating stately home built to resemble a Venetian Palace with formal gardens and extensive parklands. If you visit close to Christmas, there’s a fabulous after-dark trail featuring over a million twinkling lights and seasonal sounds.

Enjoy some pamper time

If relaxation and pampering are more your thing, you’ll find spas which are well worth a visit. Monart Spa in Poundbury offers five-star luxury with an impressive thermal suite which includes a hydrotherapy pool, salt grotto, steam room and unique experience showers. Christchurch Harbour Hotel and Spa is positioned right on the water’s edge offering plenty of spa packages and overnight experiences. Or for a more quirky experience try The Pig at Studland Bay which offers a spa menu in two sheep huts that have been transformed into single treatment rooms.

These are just a flavour of the many amazing dates you can enjoy together in Dorset – we’d love to hear your top tips for getting the most out of the area. Head over to our Facebook or Instagram pages to share your thoughts on the best date ideas to be enjoyed in Dorset during the cooler months!

If you are looking for somebody to share plenty of exciting new experiences with, why not give our expert matchmaking team a call? Here at Ignite Dating we specialise in hand-selected introductions to people you’ll really share a connection with. We have an extensive private network and use our expert intuition, experience and personality profiling to find you the perfect match.