Love it or hate it, there’s no other show that puts dating behaviours under the microscope quite as much as Love Island. With another season of ITV’s hit show underway, the spotlight is once again shining light on the numerous dating red flags that crop up in the show, which are all too often found in the real world as well.
You only have to briefly look in the media to find that there are plenty of articles and social posts out there examining in detail the toxic practices that are played out in the villa. And along with depiction of problematic behaviours, the show highlights the powerful – and painful – impact that they can have on the contestants and their budding relationships.
Problematic behaviours are sadly common in the modern dating world and there are several toxic trends which, from experience, have a particularly detrimental effect on daters’ emotional well-being. Below you’ll find details of three romantic red flags that are worth having on your radar to ensure you are prepared if you ever encounter them on your dating journey.
Ghosting
This dating term refers to the situation when somebody who you’ve been romantically involved with abruptly cuts all contact without any warning. They end the relationship without explaining why, or even bothering to let you know that they’ve moved on – leaving you to figure it out on your own after days, weeks and maybe even months of silence.
This is especially difficult in a relationship where you’ve trusted somebody enough to be intimate with them and the relationship has turned physical. Suddenly, you are ghosted for no reason. It’s essentially unfinished business that leaves you feeling confused, abandoned and questioning what you did wrong to be dropped so abruptly. Ironically, despite how you are feeling the real issue is with the person who does the ghosting, and it’s worth remembering that it as their problem not yours, as you are not the one to blame.
Zombieing
This is where you’ve been left hanging by a ghost and then just as you are starting to get over them, they come back with lots of promises and poor excuses for their disposable manners and behaviour – only to prime you up to be ghosted again!
Be under no false illusions, once somebody has ghosted you, they will know they can get away with it if you allow them back into your life to do it again. It’s may sound harsh but it’s true. It can particularly add insult to injury if you’ve already been hurt in the past by the person who ghosted you. Be kind to yourself and remember to set and maintain strong boundaries of how you want to be treated, at the first sign of this behaviour don’t chase them. Instead put your phone down – or even better, block them and move on.
Breadcrumbing
This is, in a nutshell, leading somebody on. It’s when somebody that you’re dating drops subtle hints of wanting a relationship with you but then they come and go as they please or are just plain inconsistent. You never know where you really stand or what the intentions are of the person doing this to you.
Their behaviour often leaves you feeling confused, and it can be quite an emotional rollercoaster because you love it when they get in touch and really enjoy the time you spend together. That rush of adrenaline when you see each other may feel great, but the rollercoaster ride you’ve taken is ultimately very damaging as they give you just enough hope that they may commit with no intention or action that they ever will.
Lack of clarity in dating is hugely detrimental for your self-esteem and can lead to longer term anxiety when it comes to meeting people which can ultimately sabotage your dating journey. If you’ve fallen victim to any of these toxic behaviours, you can start to mistrust your judgement and become fearful of the good people that you encounter along the way who are much better suited to you.
These three dating trends, while very common in the dating world, are so damaging for the recipients of the bad behaviour and actually tell you a lot about the person who is instigating the toxic approaches to dating for many different reasons.
If you find yourself questioning someone’s intentions, the best advice is to step on the brakes and back off! If they really want you, they will step forward and show it in a healthy way. If they carry on behaving inappropriately and you pull back, then you are protecting yourself and also sending a clear message to the other person that you are worthy of more and secure in who you are and the boundaries that you have set for your partner and any future relationships you have.
Don’t ever worry you could be losing out on something wonderful as you are actually saving yourself from more heartache and pain in the long run. Listen to your emotions and feelings and look after your heart to ensure you are putting yourself first when it comes to dating – if you do this, you’ll be sure to find that perfect match and a long-lasting, healthy, and committed relationship, just like you deserve.
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