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How important is a potential matches’ astrological sign to you? Astrology is viewed as important to a lot of people who actively look for somebody with a zodiac sign that appeals to them. How a star sign is perceived often plays a part in who people do and don’t approach in the dating world. 

Many daters see certain combinations of star signs as more compatible than others, which can have a bearing on their decision of whether to approach somebody. It’s not unusual to see people mention their star sign in their bio and some apps even let you filter potential matches based on their astrological sign. 

The extent to which astrology plays a part in who people approach is clear when you consider the findings of a recent survey. The Daily Mail reports how one in four people actively avoid certain zodiac signs on dating apps. Aries was found to be the zodiac sign most avoided, with 18% of those surveyed mentioning it, followed by Sagittarius (15%) and Leo (13%). People with the Pisces sign was least likely to be avoided, with only 2% saying they’d avoid potential matches with this star sign.  

Experts are keen to point out that you should not base a search for love solely on certain star signs. Deciding somebody’s star sign is a dealbreaker could lead to you ruling out people who you may have gone on to have a successful relationship with. It’s hard to predict what will lead to that all-important chemistry so the only way you’ll know for sure is meeting in real life. USA Today highlights how people may not actually be that interested in astrology but may have been influenced in the past by reading that their star sign is incompatible with another. However, by avoiding certain star signs you are shutting down one in 12 potential matches, narrowing the pool of people you could potentially meet. 

No matter whether you believe in astrology or not, a Mashable article points out that it can make an interesting talking point when you meet somebody new. It can also help astrology fans screen out potential partners who think the practice is a joke, the article points out. Talking about star signs can help you find out more about your date’s characteristics as well, as you can delve into their views on whether they identify with certain traits attached to their star sign. 

There’s no denying the popularity of astrology and its relevance when it comes to dating. The hashtag #astrologydating has millions on views on TikTok and, and Mashable points out, interest in astrology has boomed in recent year, especially among millennials. 

We’d love to hear your views on the topic – does astrology play a part in how you decide if somebody will be right for you? Share your views over on Facebook or Instagram! 

Ignite Dating is an elite matchmaking and introductions agency that helps busy professionals across the UK find a life partner. Our experienced matchmakers offer guidance and support to provide clients with a dating journey that leaves them feeling confident, energised, and safe. Find out more about our award-winning service and how it can help you here.

A lot of attention is paid to dealing with rejection after you are turned down by somebody in the dating world. However, it’s important to consider what happens when you are the one who isn’t feeling it. It can be hard to be the cause of somebody else’s disappointment and you may worry how somebody will react to being turned down. 

However uncomfortable you may feel with telling somebody you’ve not interested, it does pay to be upfront and honest about your feelings. It can cause further disappointment down the line if you give somebody you’ve been dating false hope. It’s not fair to play games in the dating world and most people react well to an honest answer about how you feel, even if you feel it’s best to soften the blow. 

However, many daters dread rejecting somebody as it can be an uncomfortable and awkward experience. You might find it tricky to find the correct words and you may worry they will take the rejection extremely personally. However, it’s important to remember you’re letting them know that you don’t think you’d be compatible, rather than criticising who they are. Done in the right way, a rejection will hopefully not be taken personally. 

We’ve shared our top tips for effectively handling a rejection so you can both feel the situation was handled well. Whether you’ve only exchanged a few messages or you’ve been on a few dates, find out more about how to handle rejection the right way. 

Try and avoid ambiguity: Your heart might be in the right place but beating around the bush can cause confusion and string things out. However, you don’t need to be harsh to be direct. You can always pair the rejection with a compliment or a polite sentence or two about how you enjoyed getting to know them. The idea is being clear that you don’t feel a connection and you don’t want to pursue the match any further. Being unclear in your response can cause confusion as the other person will receive mixed signals and think you still potentially interested. Using wishy washy excuses could send signals that you’ll be interested in the future. 

You don’t need to apologise: Saying sorry implies you’ve done something wrong but there is no need to say sorry for not being interested in somebody. You can explain you are flattered by their attention but be clear that you don’t want to take things any further. 

Text messages are OK in the early days:  If you have been chatting to somebody casually or you’ve only had a date or two, it’s fine to send a message saying you don’t want to pursue a romantic relationship. However, if you’ve been seeing somebody for months then they deserve more than a text that says it’s over.  

Never ghost somebody: Even if you don’t want to let somebody down, it never pays to ghost them. Ghosting is hurtful and leads to a lack of closure, as the other person doesn’t understand the reason you disappeared on the face of the earth. They may also blame themselves for things coming to an abrupt halt. The only times it’s OK to ghost somebody is if they react negatively to your rejection and become angry or hurtful.

It’s always important to remember there is a human being behind every dating profile and it can be unfair to treat people in a way you would not like to be treated. Even if you don’t see any potential in the pairing, make sure you are being clear, honest, and upfront. That way they can move on to the next person, who may well turn out to be perfect for them. 

At Ignite Dating, your dedicated matchmaker is with you every step of the way, working closely with you to understand the characteristics and values that are important to you. Our experienced matchmaking team brings a wealth of knowledge and expertise to make your dating journey as streamlined and enjoyable as possible.

Your matchmaker can help you navigate the trickier parts of dating, handling difficult conservations on your behalf so you can relax every time you meet somebody new.

Get in touch today to find out how we can help you!

East London is packed full of iconic sights and great places to visit if you are looking for date ideas with a difference. Packed full of well-known neighbourhoods to explore where no two streets are the same, you’ll find activities to suit all tastes and budgets. Check out the latest instalment of our London date ideas blog series to find inspiration for your next date night in this exciting part of the capital. 

Explore 

Explore the stunning colours and scents of Columbia Road Flower Market in Tower Hamlets, where the street is transformed by flowers and plants available for sale from the market traders. The market operates every Sunday, and you can take a leisurely walk along Regent’s Canal to make a day of it. Over in Hackney Broadway Market offers 120 regular stalls on a Saturday so a casual stroll will give you plenty to browse and delicious food to sample. 

If you enjoy taking in the London views, try the IFS Cloud Cable Car which reaches heights of 90 metres over the Thames. It connects the Royal Docks and the Greenwich Peninsula and offers views of landmarks such as St Paul’s Cathedral, The Gherkin, Thames Barrier, and Greenwich. The service runs late at night for a romantic way to see the city lit up at night. 

Exciting activities 

Up for some fun? Check out Ballie Ballerson, a Shoreditch cocktail bar which taps into childhood nostalgia with giant ball pits and sweet-themed cocktails including the Skittle Sour and Hubba Hubba Bubba.  

Reopening in Spring, Roof East is a fun venue which is located on the rooftop of a multi-storey car park in Stratford. On offer is tasty street food, games, and an open-air cinema, with great views to enjoy as you relax together.  

God’s Own Junk Yard offers an amazing gallery of neon lights and bulb signs in Walthamstow. The bright artwork is bound to impress, and you can see signs that appeared in famous movies.

Relaunching in the summer, the ArcelorMittal Orbit offers the world’s tallest and longest slide! Be brave and share the experience while enjoying the views at the top of Anish Kapoor’s red lattice tower. 

Eat great food

Brick Lane is a well-known foodie destination which is famous for its curry and bagels. For bagels, try the famous Beigel Bake which is open 24 hours offering a variety of filled bagels and baked goods. There’s also the Beigel Shop which offers a great variety of products including pretty rainbow bagels. 

You’re spolit for choice when it comes to great curry on Brick Lane. Sheba, Aladin and The Famous Curry Bazaar are well worth a try for some delicious spicy dishes. Some restaurants are BYOB so check before you go if you fancy a boozy accompaniment to your meal. Over on Fieldgate Street is Tayyabs, which offers delicious Punjabi cuisine including their famous lamb chops. 

Pasta lovers will enjoy Tom’s Pasta, a local neighbourhood restaurant in Hackney offering fresh handmade pasta via weekly changing menu. Just fancy drinks? Try Satan’s Whiskers, a cocktail bar in Bethnal Green that offers a daily changing menu and a backdrop of hip hop music. Nightjar offers fantastic cocktails and vintage live music in Shoreditch with a glamourous backdrop you’ll both enjoy. 

We’d love to hear your top tips for the best things to do in East London with a new love interest or partner. Share them over on our Facebook or Instagram pages!

At Ignite Dating, your dedicated matchmaker is with you every step of the way, working closely with you to understand the characteristics and values that are important to you. Our experienced matchmaking team brings a wealth of knowledge and expertise to make your dating journey as streamlined and enjoyable as possible. Get in touch today  to find out how we can help you.

How much money do you think you’ve spent when it comes to your search for love? When you think about it all those app subscriptions, date outfits and haircuts you shell out for, it might be more than you think. Don’t forget the cocktails, food, and activities you pay for when it comes to the date itself. Due to the cost-of-living increasing, a night out with a potential love interest can soon add up and do some serious damage to your wallet. 

A recent study by Novuna Personal Finance found the average single UK adult spends £1,652 on dating with the average single person going on 15 dates before meeting somebody special. The cost of an individual date is around £60. Bobby Seagull, an author, teacher, TV presenter, and Indian Matchmaking contestant, recently wrote a column about the economics of dating for the i Paper. He worked out that the 129 first dates he has been on must add up to £7,740, based on the Novuna figures. Another survey in the US found singles are spending 40% more on their dating lives than a decade ago. 

When a search for love isn’t going well, it can be tempting to plough more money into paying for dating apps to widen the pool of people you might potentially match with. However, subscriptions might not seem that pricey initially, but they can add up quickly. It can also be tempting to pay for ‘boosts’ to increase the visibility of your profile.

The problem is you don’t know in advance whether a date is going to go well, which can make it an expensive mistake to commit to a pricey meal and drinks with somebody you don’t go on to see again. Many daters are finding it makes sense to plan low-stakes first dates such as meeting for a walk or grabbing a coffee to judge whether somebody has potential before planning more expensive nights out. 

Modern-day dating is time consuming 

Not only is it costly to fill your month with a packed schedule of dates, but it can be time consuming as well. Often before a date is arranged you’ve spent hours chatting back and forwards, getting to know each other a little better. Then there is the time it takes to get prepared and go on a series of dates with somebody you might end up deciding is not right for you. 

Matchmaking can be a good alternative to the time-consuming nature of modern-day dating. Our matchmakers work hard to headhunt on their client’s behalf, meaning you can sit back and relax while they find you compatible matches. Your dedicated matchmaker will gain a good understanding of who you are and what you are looking for in a relationship. That way they can ensure they are only introducing you to people you’ll enjoy meeting. 

Cost can be a hurdle when it comes to joining a matchmaking agency and some may feel unsure about making an investment in their love life. But when you consider how much money can be spent on dating without any idea of whether the people you meet will go on to be right for you, it can be worth looking seriously at more personalised options. Instead of hoping you meet the right person organically or through intense swiping for matches, you can team up with the professionals who’ll use their considerable experience, extensive private network, and expertise to introduce you to potential partners. We really appreciate what makes you tick, and we select finely tuned matches based on your specific preferences and lifestyle aspirations.

Think about what suits you 

It’s always worth thinking carefully about your budget when it comes to dating. There’s no need to overstretch yourself if you can’t afford the expensive night out your date is suggesting. Many people are open to a more wallet-friendly first meeting and may be relieved you’ve suggested something that doesn’t cost a lot of money. If you are taking a bigger picture approach to your dating journey, or you’re fed up with a string of dates that have led you nowhere, it’s always worth looking at whether matchmaking is an option you should consider. Get in touch today if you’d like more information about how our bespoke matchmaking service works!   

Are you looking for somebody special who will truly understand you and share your values, life goals and aspirations? Your dedicated matchmaker is waiting to introduce you to some truly amazing people. Get in touch today to find out how we can help you with a safe and enjoyable search for love.

Are you single and looking for love? You may have some knowledge of matchmaking, but you may not be entirely sure what is involved. Here at Ignite Dating we know it’s a big decision to make an investment in your love life, so we’ve outlined all the benefits of working with a matchmaker. We’ve also explained our process so you can understand exactly what’s involved in joining our elite dating agency.   

The benefits of working with a matchmaker

Dating can be an incredibly time-consuming experience. Think about all the hours you spend swiping on dating apps and chatting to people before you even get to the point of meeting. Hours of preparation can go into a date only to be left disappointed when the person isn’t who you were hoping for, or they go on to ghost you. Sadly, there’s a lot of bad behaviour that goes on in the dating world which can leave daters wary about meeting new people and frustrated with the whole experience. 

Working with a matchmaker can save you time. Our expert team work hard on your behalf to find you compatible matches so you can just sit back and relax while we find you amazing people to meet. We offer a safer way to date as everybody we introduce you to will have been ID and digital footprint checked. They also go through a rigorous interview process, and we ensure they are who they say they are. 

Your dedicated matchmaker will become like a trusted friend, navigating you through every step of your dating journey and being on hand to lend their support. Many clients are surprised what they learn about themselves along the way as they work with their matchmaker to carefully consider what’s important to them in a relationship. 

A stress-free dating experience 

There are a few easy steps we need to take to on-board you as a client. 

After your initial enquiry, we’ll make an appointment with one of our dating consultants who will meet with you in person to gather more information for the matching process. They have many years of experience in the dating industry, have professional, industry-related qualifications and will spend the time really getting to know you. This relaxed and informal discussion will help us understand what you need in a partner, and we’ll also learn more about what makes you tick.  

Once you’ve selected a matchmaking package that suits you, we’ll arrange for a dating profile to be curated by our qualified copywriting and PR specialists.

You’ll be introduced to your dedicated matchmaker who will spend time learning all about you. They will arrange a relaxed professional photo shoot at a location convenient to you providing you with a set of dating profile images you are proud of. We offer a discreet service with no need for an online presence, your pictures and profile won’t be shared online, and we anonymise your profile, to protect your identity.

Once an introduction has been selected and agreed to, your matchmaker will tell you more about them and discuss the upcoming first conversation you’ll have with your match. Once you’ve met, your matchmaker will follow up with you to see how the date went and if this person wasn’t right for you, they will get to work finding you a subsequent match. 

While we want all our clients to feel safe, secure, and empowered when working with us, we do also want to do all we can to bring out the best in them. Sometimes, that means asking hard questions or encouraging them to address issues and obstacles that stand in the way of their goals. This is always done in the most supportive and nurturing way possible, but it also means our clients trust we are always being direct and open with them and have their best interests at heart.

The best element about matchmaking is that you can enjoy a stress-free dating journey. Just sit back and relax, knowing somebody is working hard on your behalf to find you the perfect match. Our highly skilled and globally trained matchmaking team specialise in offering a dating journey that will leave you feeling confident, energised, and safe.
Find out more about our award-winning matchmaking services here.

Do opposites attract? It seems to be a subject of great debate with plenty of articles dedicated to examining both sides of the argument.  

Lots of people believe in the notion of a couple being compatible because they have nothing in common and wildly different tastes. The old adage that “opposites attract” refers to a long-standing belief that polar opposites often spark a romantic attraction. But is it true? 

According to the Guardian, recent research found partners were often remarkably similar when it comes to the traits they share. The study found between 82% and 89% of traits examined were similar among partners, with only 3% ranking as substantially different. The areas where people tend to be similar were wide ranging and included their religious views, levels of education, political leanings, some measures of IQ and how likely a person was to drink or smoke. 

How similar you are to a partner may have some bearing on whether the relationship goes on to be long-lasting. The Daily Mail cited an analysis of eHarmony’s Compatibility Matching System that found similarity was the key to making a relationship last, even though opposites may be attracted to each other at first. The article points out that dating somebody who is very different to you may seem attractive at first, but eventually tensions show as the differences come between a couple. While differences may seem exciting and intriguing in the honeymoon phase of a relationship, they can soon turn into obstacles and disagreements. There’s even stronger evidence that opposites don’t attract when you consider a review of 313 studies with more than 35,000 participants found that similarity was a strong predictor of attraction in early stages of a relationship. 

An article in Women’s Health points out that many people aren’t actually dating their opposites, even though it might initially seem that way. The piece points out how you may appear to be different to your partner in many ways when it comes to your tastes, but you’re probably more alike than you realise. The concept of opposites attracting may have endured purely because people don’t realise the person they are with isn’t as different to them as they might have first believed. While you may love spicy food while a partner despises it, or you both have totally different tastes in film and music, you may find you are more similar than you expect when it comes to the bigger things like values, communication styles, temperaments, and attitudes. People who may seem like opposites on the face of it could in fact have similar core values.

The tools we use to find people may also play a part in connecting us with people who are similar personality types. As the BBC points out, the online networks and sites many of us use to find friends and dates are nudging us towards people who may think similarly to us.  There are even dating apps that cater for people with specific views. The article also points out that there is evidence that opposites repel, especially when it comes to values and views. 

There’s nothing wrong with having different tastes though, with a recent survey finding more than 70% believe having different interests can lead to more diverse and enriching conversations. There’s no need to be alike in all areas, with many couples having totally different taste in clothes, food, TV, and the like. It can keep things interesting to be introduced to new habits and activities, however, deep down it is likely you are more alike than you’d expect at face value.

All relationships evolve and, and this article on Medium points out, a couple may begin as quite similar but find ways to differentiate themselves. Couples can develop complementary roles, such as one half of the partnership being the “funny one” while the other is the “serious one”. It does not mean the pair are opposites, but they are indeed becoming more complementary within the relationship. 

It’s an interesting debate and we’d love to hear your views on the matter. Share your thoughts over on Facebook and Instagram! 

Take the next steps to finding your perfect partner today – get in touch with our friendly team!

Next up in our series of blogs looking at the best date ideas in the capital is South London. Heading south of the Thames offers a mix of urban and village-like areas with plenty of great things to discover together while you get to know each other better. We’ve shared our top picks and tips for making the most of first dates and romantic date nights in this thriving part of London.

Explore vibrant markets 

Borough Market is the perfect place to spend a relaxed few hours exploring the variety of stalls and then sampling your favourite cuisines. Don’t miss Humble Crumble for tempting desserts and The Black Pig for huge toasted ciabatta sandwiches. There are plenty of great bars and restaurants to sample when you feel like resting your feet, as you soak up the atmosphere of this historic food market.   

Maltby Street Market in Bermondsey is a popular weekend destination offering delicious food from a variety of traders. It’s in a gorgeous flag-lined alley where you can seek out your favourite street food and sample new dishes. Tooting Market offers an interesting mix of food, drinks, independent retail, and homewares which gives you plenty to explore. 

Nights out

Boxpark in Croydon is bound to have something that suits. There’s food to suit all tastes and plenty of events, from match screenings and live music to comedy nights and speed quizzing.  

Another interesting area to explore is the new shopping and leisure development at the iconic Battersea Power Station. There are a range of restaurants and bars overlooking the river and tucked under railway arches, plus plenty in the power station itself. Browse the shops if you fancy some retail therapy, or enjoy a boutique cinema experience at The Cinema in the Arches. Make sure you stop by Searcys Champagne bar to experience their extensive menu of bubbles.    

Along the river in Putney, you’ll find The Boathouse which offers British classics and seafood dishes with river views over three floors with a patio and balcony. Then head on to Tequila Mockingbird to try their tempting cocktails in the secret garden by the riverside. 

Over in Peckham it’s worth visiting Forza Wine, a rooftop bar and restaurant with great views.

Take a stroll

There are plenty of great green spaces to explore together if you fancy an active date or a romantic picnic. Clapham Common offers 220 acres of open space and is home to the SW4 Festival in August, if electronic and dance music is your thing. Greenwich Park offers majestic views of London’s skyline in a spot which often isn’t that crowded. You can pay a visit to the Royal Observatory to see the famous Prime Meridian line and stop by the National Maritime Museum as well. Rest your legs with a visit to Greenwich Picturehouse to watch a movie and enjoy a drink in The Crows Nest bar, which offers views of Greenwich and the surrounding area. 

Battersea Park is another peaceful spot, and you can extend a relaxed first date that’s going well by grabbing a drink by the water at the Pear Tree Café.  

If you both enjoy shopping then Clapham is known for its vintage and charity shops, so take a look around and dip into the stores that take your fancy. 

Try something new

Sometimes it pays to plan an activity to help break the ice when you are meeting somebody new. Gravity Max in Wandsworth offers a range of activities to take on, including e-karting, urban street golf and augmented reality bowling. There is an exhilarating high ropes course with zip lines over in Battersea Park with great views as you take on the challenge. If your romantic interest is into climbing, try Substation in Brixton which offers indoor climbing facilities with routes to suit all abilities.  

We’ve love to hear your top tips for the best places to head in South London – share them on our Facebook or Instagram page! 

Our dedicated matchmaking team are ready and waiting for your call to help you with your search for love. Get in touch today to find out more!

It’s a dating scenario that everybody dreads. You turn up at the agreed date venue at the time you expected to meet your date, but nobody is there. The clock slowly ticks as you anxiously wait for the text saying they’ve been delayed. You hope to look up and see your date arriving flustered, and full of apologies. Only, nobody turns up. It soon becomes clear you’ve been stood up. 

It can be a devastating scenario to realise your date is a no-show. You can feel exposed, sitting in a venue by yourself with a sinking feeling the other person isn’t coming. Rejection can be incredibly hurtful but it’s important not to take it personally. Thanks to the ease of planning dates via dating apps, it’s not uncommon for people to flake without the courtesy of letting you know. We’ve examined what to do if you fear you’re being stood up and share our techniques for how to handle this situation. 

Firstly, check you are actually being stood up: There are plenty of reasons your date might be running late and unable to make contact. They may be driving or travelling on public transport with no signal. Emergencies can come up as well, or they may have simply forgotten it was tonight you were meeting. It’s worth giving them a buffer of time to arrive, waiting around 15 minutes to see if they are indeed running late. At this point you can send them a text to check if they’ve got mixed up about the venue or the time and date you’re meeting. You don’t want to inadvertently appear to have stood them up, if one of you has headed to the wrong venue. You can always pre-empt any problems by texting the day you are due to get together to casually confirm they are still up for meeting that evening. If they ghost you or cancel, it saves you the bother of heading out. 

Beware of repentant daters: After standing you up, somebody may come crawling back with a pathetic excuse for why they didn’t show up. Trust your gut and don’t be afraid to end things there – you deserve some basic respect and somebody who toys with your emotions is unlikely to have the potential to become a reliable partner. If they are genuinely remorseful or have a plausible excuse, then it’s up to you to decide whether to give them another chance. But remember, there are plenty more people out there who will be genuinely excited about meeting you in the future, so don’t waste your time if you are unsure if somebody is worth getting to know better.  

Dealing with the aftermath of being stood up: OK, so it’s clear they are not going to show up. If you have the opportunity then don’t waste all the effort that went into getting ready for the date and call a friend to meet you, turning the tide to make the most of the evening. The important thing is to ensure you don’t go home and wallow. Call a friend or, even better, carry on your night solo, enjoying the benefits that can come with solo dating. Don’t be afraid to let your friends know what has happened, even if you’ve been bragging about the amazing date you had planned. They are on your side and want the best for you.  

Be cool: If you hear from the person who stood you up again, or bump into them, hold your head up high and be polite, but don’t give them anymore of your precious time. 

The most important thing to remember if you are stood up is not to take it personally. You don’t know what is going on in somebody else’s life and they don’t know you, so the rejection really isn’t personal. Try and focus on the positives and realise that this person probably would not have been right for you anyway if they are disrespectful enough to leave you waiting alone with no explanation. Dust yourself off and carry on with your dating journey – you never know who you might meet the next time around!   
Are you looking for love? Why not give the experts at Ignite Dating a call today. We work hard to find you the perfect partner, using our expert mix of personality profiling, experienced matchmakers, intuition, and our extensive private network. Get in touch today to find out more!

Once the ink is dry on the decree absolute (or sometimes way before then), many of us start to think about meeting our next person. How wonderful it will be to be in love again, we decide. 

However, between now and that wonderful goal stands the dreaded dating scene. For many divorced people, dating can seem nothing less than traumatic. We worry we won’t find anybody who likes us and that we won’t find anybody we want to date. We fret about what to talk about on a date, what to wear, where to go.  And what about dating etiquette? Will we have to flirt? What are the new rules? It can all seem terrifying, especially if you have not dated in many years.

But with the right preparation, dating after divorce can be great fun and an enormous confidence boost. So, if you are thinking about dipping a toe in the dating world after divorce, there are some important questions to consider.  

When is the right time?

This is probably the most frequently asked question I hear from my divorce coaching clients and it comes in various forms. 

Am I ready? Is it too soon? Am I on the rebound? What will people say?

The thing is, there is no right answer. The right time is different for everybody, so you are ready when you are ready. Nevertheless, it’s important to think about why you are considering dating to test if you are doing it for the right reasons. Many people start dating because they don’t want to be alone, or because they want to hurt their ex and make them realise what they are missing. Clearly these are not good reasons to be putting yourself out there.

You also need to know your own worth and be prepared to ignore or walk away from people who will not value you. Divorce can leave you lacking in self-belief, so it’s best to invest the time in developing a firm belief in who you are and what you bring to the table. 

Be honest with yourself to judge if your resilience is low. No matter who you are, what you look like, how interesting you are, dating WILL involve knockbacks and confidence blows. Are you strong enough to take those right now? 

You are ready to date after divorce when you are doing it for yourself, for the right reasons. You know why you are dating and you are clear on what you are looking for. 

Why am I dating?

Some may think it’s a silly question but when I ask it of my clients, the disparate answers include:

• To meet my soul mate
• I need financial support
• For sex
• For companionship
• I don’t want to be alone forever.

Knowing your “why” is important because it will clarify what you are seeking. If you are just interested in short-term dalliances right now, then maybe similar values and interests are less important than physical appearance and proximity. Conversely, if you are only interested in a long-term relationship, then looks may take a back seat to certain personality traits.

Your “why” will also impact where you look. Casual dating is more prevalent on certain apps but if you want a long-term committed relationship, you may want to consider a professional matchmaker. Remember, your motivation for dating can, and probably will, change over time.

What do I want?

This is more tricky.

Some dating experts advocate drawing up a specific list of criteria and then deciding what is non-negotiable, and what is less important. There are many factors people use to filter their choices. Physical appearance, geographical proximity, whether they have children, occupation, education, interests, and background are just some of the things that are important to people when they are deciding who to meet. 

However, the nature of dating is that even when somebody ticks every box, you may not have any chemistry between you. Of course, without chemistry you have nothing.

So, it is a good idea to understand what is important to you because it helps you understand what to look for, and what to avoid. However, the romantic in me also believes that we should remain open-minded because who knows what the next “one” will be like?

Where? 

So you’ve decided you are ready to date, so, it’s time to get started. Depending on what you’ve decided you want to get out of your search for love, your options include online dating, local singles’ events, asking friends for introductions, joining clubs, or professional matchmaking.

Dating after divorce is like any other new experience. You need to understand it and what you want from it – and then you can see if you enjoy it. 

The very best piece of advice I heard was to remember that everybody is in the same boat. The people you are dating are just as terrified, just as unsure and just as keen to meet their person. So be brave, dive in and enjoy!

Amanda Gardiner is a Divorce Coach who runs a Facebook group offering support and advice for people experiencing separation and divorce. 

At Ignite Dating, your dedicated matchmaker is with you every step of the way, working closely with you to understand the characteristics and values that are important to you. Our experienced matchmaking team brings a wealth of knowledge and expertise to make your dating journey as streamlined and enjoyable as possible. Get in touch today to find out how we can help you.

Are you quick to write somebody off after a first date that didn’t lead to an instant connection? Some single people can feel dejected if an initial date did not spark instant chemistry. They can see it as a sign that it’s not worth pursuing another meet-up with this person, especially if the first date was decidedly mediocre, because they feel it won’t lead anywhere. Of course, if the first date was excruciatingly bad, it’s clear that you won’t be spending any more time together. However, there are many good reasons to give it another shot if somebody has potential, but the first date just didn’t set the world on fire. 

Firstly, it’s worth considering how nerve-wracking first dates can be. There can be a lot of pressure on that first meeting, and being nervous means people won’t relax and be themselves. Nerves can make that first encounter awkward, which is why some don’t follow up with a second date. However, the person you meet might be having a tough week or they just struggle to make an easy-going, relaxed first impression. 

While an instant spark does happen, it certainly should not be expected. Many great relationships start with a slow burn, and it can certainly take more than one date to build chemistry. The key question you need to ask is whether you think there is enough there to make it worth seeing this person again. A lot of experts agree that, unless you encounter major red flags, you should give it two more dates to see if there’s enough there for you to consider a future together. 

Here are our top tips for deciding whether it’s worth investing more time to see if you have a true connection. 

Remember, a second date can be a lot more relaxing: The first time you meet you are essentially strangers. With the second date, you can naturally be a lot more authentic as you relax and just concentrate on getting to know each other better. If your first date was grabbing a quick coffee, then consider an activity-based date to further break the ice and see how the person acts in a different situation. First dates can end up feeling like job interviews, with all the questions flying back and forward, so it does pay to try again to get a better idea of what somebody is really like. With a second date you can really show your true personality and feel a lot more like yourself. 

Think about what you enjoyed about the first meeting: While there might not have been an instant attraction, consider what you did like about the time you spent with this person. Did you have fun? Did they make you laugh? Was the conversation interesting? Then you have good foundations for seeing them again. 

Remember, instant chemistry is not necessarily a good thing: Rapid-fire romance does not necessarily translate into a happy relationship. The love-at-first-sight feeling often isn’t sustainable in the long run as you can overlook those all-important characteristics of a person when you are blindsided by your initial feelings for them. 

Make sure your date is respectful: Did they show up on time? Listen properly and ask you questions? Or did they talk non-stop about themselves and were rude to the waiting staff? It can sometimes be clear who is and isn’t worth investing more time in. 

More time can help you assess signs of compatibility: Great relationships are often built on shared values, interests, and lifestyle aspirations. The more you get to know somebody, the more likely it is you’ll grow to like them based on what you learn about them. If there are signs you may have a good chance of compatibility, then it might well be worth pursuing things further. 

While attraction might not be there from the outset, you may well like the person enough to consider meeting again. Having a couple more dates should give you a much clearer picture of whether your values align and whether a connection may grow. You might just remain friends or go your separate ways, but, without any obvious dealbreakers, it can be worthwhile to invest more time in a person who may turn out to be perfect for you. 

We would love to hear your thoughts – how many dates do you go on before you decide whether you share a romantic connection with somebody?

Are you looking for love? Why not give the experts at Ignite Dating a call today. We work hard to find you the perfect partner, using our expert mix of personality profiling, experienced matchmakers, intuition, and our extensive private network. Get in touch today to find out more!