Author: Michelle Begy

When we talk about dating, the conversation tends to revolve around our search for love and how we find the right person for us. It’s all about the ways in which we are putting ourselves out there, looking for the perfect match and hoping that sparks will fly. 

But let’s look at this another way for a moment. 

Dating isn’t just about putting yourself out there and actively looking for a partner. It’s also about who is already out there looking for you. 

Because somewhere out there, someone is already hoping to meet a person with your qualities, values and goals for the future. They may not know your name yet, but they’re hoping to connect with someone just like you. 

So, the real question becomes: who are they and are they the right person for you?

To answer that, we’re going to take a step back and look closer at the energy you’re putting out there into the dating world, the patterns you attract, and the choices you make along the way.

Tune into your own energy

Although you may not notice it, the energy you carry with you plays a big role in who will notice you. So, think about how you naturally come across. Are you radiating confidence, warmth and approachability? Or do you often feel (and subsequently look) nervous, cautious or unsure?

No matter whether it’s walking into a room or chatting with someone online, others can pick up on your vibe quickly, sometimes before they’ve even heard your voice.  

That’s because first impressions aren’t only about appearance or what you’re wearing, they’re about presence. So, ask yourself this: what’s the first thing people sense when they meet me and is that the impression I want to give?

Sometimes, making subtle shifts in your own energy can change everything about the type of people who are drawn to you. 

Recognise patterns of attraction 

Another way to understand who could be out there looking for you is to pay attention to patterns. Think about the kinds of people who typically approach you or show consistent interest in you. For example, do they tend to be outgoing, independent and ambitious people, or perhaps they are more reserved, comfortable and settled?

These aren’t coincidences. They reveal how others perceive your energy and qualities. So, if you’ve ever thought, “Why do I keep attracting the same type of person?” — this is most likely why.

Now, for the bigger question: how do you feel about those patterns? Are these the kind of people you hope to attract, and do they match your values and vision for the future?

Recognising these attraction patterns is the first step toward breaking the cycles that don’t serve you and reinforcing the ones that do.

Understand why these people are drawn to you

We are all attracted to certain qualities in a partner, whether it’s kindness, stability, a sense of humour or ambition. 

Understanding which of your qualities tend to stand out to people can be very empowering. It reminds you of what you can bring to a relationship, and it can also help you see how poor matches can happen. 

For example, if people often admire your independence but you’re hoping for someone who values emotional closeness and communicates with you a lot, there may be a disconnect there in the future.

This doesn’t mean you have to change who you are, but you do need to ask yourself “are the qualities people are drawn to in me the same qualities I want to be recognised for in a partner?” 

Set boundaries around who you don’t want

The truth is, not everyone who seeks you out will be the right fit for you, and this is usually based on what they’re looking for in a partner. For example, when dating online, some want a partner for financial stability and some just a bit of company every now and then with no real commitment. 

That doesn’t make them bad people, but it does mean that they may not be aligned with the kind of relationship you desire.

This is why you need to set boundaries; these become your filter. Decide what qualities, behaviours or intentions are immediate warning signs for you? The clearer you are about your non-negotiables, the easier it becomes to protect your time and energy when dating. 

Align yourself with the right audience

Now, the final aspect is alignment. Think about a shop window, it displays what a store has to offer, so you know quickly if that’s what you’re looking for. And, in much the same way, your dating presence sends signals about what you offer and therefore, who should approach you.

So, think about your first impression as if it were a storefront, what message would it send? Are you presenting yourself in a way that attracts the kind of person you actually want to meet?

Being intentional with this makes all the difference to your dating journey. When you’re deliberate about the signals you send out and the energy you put into the world, you naturally draw in people who are a better match.

Now bring it all together 

Dating isn’t just about searching harder or being more patient, it’s about becoming more intentional. By tuning into your own energy, recognising patterns, understanding your magnetic qualities and setting boundaries, you can align yourself with an audience that fits.

When you know who is looking for you, you gain the power to choose whether they’re the right ones to let in. The more awareness you bring to your dating journey, the easier it becomes to attract the right people. 

Because the truth is, the search goes both ways. You’re not just out there looking for ‘the one’. Someone out there is already looking for you.

And, if you need help on this journey, you can get in touch with our expert matchmakers. They can help you to understand your top qualities, how you present yourself and what it is you really want from a partner. So, get in touch today to find out more about our professional matchmaking services. 

Have you found yourself stuck in a rotation cycle on dating apps?

Swipe and match. Have the same boring conversation. Go on an average date. Compare to your last partner. Repeat the cycle with someone new.

This seemingly endless cycle never really goes anywhere, and you might find yourself juggling two or three situationships that don’t feel like they have a future.

Sure, it seems like a good idea to keep your options open, and you want to avoid prematurely ending your search for love by putting all your metaphorical eggs in one basket. But the reality is, it can end up feeling like a second job; one that always ends in disappointment, and you run the risk of dating burnout. 

This constant cycle of half-hearted conversations and average dates rarely gives you the space to create something meaningful. Instead of clarity, you get confusion, and instead of building a genuine connection, you’re stuck in a loop of boring small talk and short-lived sparks.

That’s why expert matchmaking services are different and choosing to work with professionals like Ignite Dating can help you to break the cycle. 

The problem with rotation dating

One of the biggest problems with dating apps is that they often focus on quantity over quality. The logic might seem simple: the more people you meet, the better your odds of finding ‘the one’.

However, we know the reality is less romantic. When you’re juggling multiple partners, you rarely give anyone your full attention. This makes it harder to connect on a deeper level.

You’re also never truly present, and neither are they. Both of you might be texting three other people on the way home and trying to remember who said what and what you’ve already talked about.

What’s more, when you’re talking to multiple people at once, you’re spreading your emotional energy thin, and over time, this behaviour can lead to burnout and cynicism. Juggling too many options can lead to decision fatigue.

Instead of feeling empowered by choice, you feel paralysed. You second-guess yourself and wonder whether to commit to one person or keep swiping. That sense of indecision is one of the biggest barriers to building a real, lasting relationship.

Why working with a matchmaker is different

Unlike dating apps, matchmakers don’t encourage you to date several people at once. In fact, we encourage you to avoid it, because the best relationships are built on focus and intention, not distraction and comparison.

Plus, by getting to know you and by building a network of intelligent, professional singles who are serious about finding a partner, you will only be matched with those who reflect your goals, interests and ambitions. 

Every introduction is carefully curated based on compatibility, not just surface-level traits like height, hobbies or a witty tag line in someone’s bio. This slower, more mindful approach has some real advantages:

• No more endless notifications or having the same boring chats that fizzle out after a few days. Each introduction has purpose
• Focussing on one person at a time allows for emotional intimacy to build more naturally
• You’re not weighing people up against each other like a shopping list and doing daily comparisons in your head. Instead, you’re exploring whether this one person aligns with your values and plans for the future 
• You don’t waste your precious time and energy on “maybes” or “what ifs.” Each match moves you forward in your search for love  

Essentially, matchmaking removes the clutter that comes with dating apps. You’re not wading through endless profiles. You’re guided through a clear, structured process where each match is carefully thought out and has the potential to move you closer to finding the right partner.

The bottom line

Love isn’t about who texts you the most throughout the day, brings you gifts or takes you on the flashiest dates. It’s about who shows up for you consistently, who makes you feel safe, seen, and valued. 

Those qualities take time to notice, which becomes much harder when you are juggling multiple conversations and partners, having to spread your energy further and often not really getting to know any of them very well.

If you choose to work with a matchmaker, you get the opportunity to slow things down, to pay attention to how someone truly makes you feel, and to decide whether that connection fits into your long-term plans. 

So, if you’re tired of juggling multiple conversations, half-hearted dates and the emotional drain of rotation dating, there’s a better way. Get in touch with our expert matchmakers today to start a more mindful, intentional journey towards love.

Striving to reach your career ambitions while nurturing a romantic relationship can feel like walking a tightrope. It’s a delicate balancing act, and if you lean too far to one side, you risk losing your footing.

With both our careers and love lives deserving our time and attention, striking a balance can feel tricky. However, it is possible to achieve harmony between the two without compromising. 

The modern dilemma

Today’s competitive career landscape and increasing expectations mean modern professionals must place more importance on long hours, upskilling, and networking for their job.

The trouble is, starting and building meaningful relationships also requires consistent communication, spending quality time together and emotional presence.

But our energy and attention are finite resources, and you can be left feeling overwhelmed as you try to juggle your time, communication, and connections.

Neglecting either side has consequences. Over-prioritising work can lead to emotional disconnect, resentment, and even the breakdown of a relationship. Equally, focusing solely on your love life at the expense of professional goals can lead to frustration, loss of identity and financial stress.

Balance is essential, as a thriving relationship can fuel your career success, and a fulfilling career can make you a better, happier partner.

So, here’s how to get it right. 

Define your priorities 

It’s essential to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your priorities, both personal and professional.

Discuss what success looks like for each of you and determine where your priorities and goals align. This helps you to avoid misunderstandings and sets realistic expectations.

For example, if you have different working styles, such as one that involves long hours or working different shifts, you need to discuss how to achieve a balance. If work demands separation, prioritise video or phone calls, surprise visits, and consider how often travel is truly required.

You should agree on the non-negotiables for your relationships, such as specific times or days when you put yourselves first and spend quality time together. 

Set shared goals 

It’s also a good idea to find ways to integrate your ambitions and set shared goals, such as achieving a promotion or taking the next step in your career by a chosen time. That way, you can work on reaching your goals together, and you can also celebrate each other’s wins along the way.

Plus, when the opportunity arises, you should involve your partner in your professional life. This can be done by seeking advice, sharing insights with one another, or even attending work-related events together when possible.

This encourages communication, conversation and enables you to share in each other’s work, even when you are in completely different industries or roles. 

Schedule intentional quality time

Life gets busy, especially when you’re both focusing on your careers, and spontaneity can often take a back seat. That’s why it’s so important to plan intentional quality time together.

Think of it like booking an important meeting for work. Make sure to schedule date nights, weekend getaways and even just daily check-ins through calls or messages. Remember that quality always outweighs quantity, so make your time together special and intentional.

Set boundaries in and outside of work

Work can be all-consuming, especially if you work in a competitive field. As such, you need to learn to limit after-hours emails, calls and meetings, when on dates or with your partner. 

The same applies to overtime, you should say no to unnecessary commitments and delegate where possible, when with your partner. Setting boundaries in this way not only protects your personal life but also prevents burnout from work. 

Communicate effectively 

Career changes, like promotions, relocations or new projects, will have an impact on your relationship. Therefore, it’s important to share updates, concerns and stress points with each other. This transparency builds trust and reduces the risk of resentment.

And remember, there will be times when your career may need more of your attention and times when your partner needs you more. There may also be times when their career takes precedence.  

You must be able to adapt during these times and consistently support one another through these fluctuations with strong communication. 

The key takeaways 

Juggling your career ambitions and romantic relationship is all about balance and finding harmony with one another. Both areas of your life can coexist beautifully when approached with care, empathy and open communication – and so they should!

After all, what’s the point of a successful career if you have no one to share it with and vice versa?

If you’ve built a successful career, but you’re still looking for that special someone to share the rest of your life with, we can help. Get in touch with the experienced team at Ignite Dating today to find out more about our expert matchmaking services. 

Over the last couple of years, the term red flag has become one of the most popular buzzwords on social media, particularly when talking about relationships and social interactions. It’s become so commonplace that even just seeing that little flag emoji on a message or video clip tells us all we need to know.

In this case, red flags refer to the negative traits or behaviours you should look out for in a partner. The warning signs that someone might not be a healthy match for you. 

While this can be helpful for avoiding toxic relationships and recognising behaviours that you may not have realised were problematic, it’s not without its own problems.

Too often, we get so focused on spotting the negative that we miss the signs of compatibility that are right in front of us. And it’s important to remember that dating isn’t just about avoiding heartbreak; it’s also about recognising when you’ve found someone worth investing in. 

That’s why we’re here to share how you can recognise red flags without ignoring the green ones. 

What are red flags, really?

Red flags are behaviours or traits that point to potential problems in the future. This might look like controlling behaviour, dishonesty, disrespect or inconsistent communication. These behaviours, be it what someone says or how they act, don’t just go away once you’re a couple. 

If anything, they tend to grow and get worse if not addressed. Spotting major red flags early can save you time, energy and heartbreak.

That sounds like a good thing, right? But here’s where people often get stuck, in the hyper-vigilance trap. When you’re constantly on edge, looking for weakness or even just signs that problems may arise in the future, you can easily misinterpret normal human flaws or early awkwardness as major deal breakers. 

In the end, you might find you’re ghosting someone who could actually be a great partner, simply because they sent a short text when they were busy and you read that as limited communication or emotional unavailability. That’s why we also need to tune in to the green flags, too.

Why looking out for green flags matters

Green flags are the positive qualities that show someone is emotionally mature, kind and ready for a healthy relationship. In this case, that could be respectful and regular communication, accountability, genuine interest and consistency. 

These are just some of the green flags that show someone might want to build something real and lasting with you; they’re signs of emotional safety.

If you only think about what is going wrong (or might go wrong in the future), you overlook what is going right, right now! For example, if you’re dating someone who respects your boundaries, follows through on plans and apologises sincerely when they mess up, these are huge green flags!

The trouble is, when you’re stuck in detective mode, getting in your head about the latest red flags shared on TikTok or Instagram, you might brush these good traits off as basic decency instead of what they really are: signs of emotional intelligence.

How to balance the two

Here are some ways to keep your eyes open for both the good and bad signs, so you can keep yourself safe, without passing up any great opportunities: 

Know your non-negotiables

Before you get too invested in a new relationship, it’s vital that you know what your major red flags are, whilst also keeping in mind what positive traits and behaviours you look for in a partner. 

Once you are clear on the non-negotiables and the nice-to-haves, you can spot these signs quickly. Just remember not to sweat the small stuff, like someone liking pineapple on pizza (controversial, we know) or them not texting you back with four paragraphs every morning.

Look for patterns, not just incidents

On the subject of not sweating the small stuff, to help you differentiate between red flags and one-offs, you should look for patterns in behaviour. A single comment or bad day isn’t always a red flag, but if they consistently lie, dodge accountability or gaslight you, this is a sign of a bigger problem. 

On the flip side, consistency in good behavior is a massive green flag as it means they’re not just “performing” early on and that this is who they really are.

Check in with yourself regularly 

Relationships may be a partnership, but it’s important to check in with yourself regularly. Ask yourself, when you’re with them, do you feel more anxious or more at ease? 

Sometimes your gut knows what your mind can’t see yet. If you feel safe being yourself, being open and honest and disagreeing without fear, that’s a massive green flag.

Always talk it out 

If something feels off, communicate before labelling it a red flag. The way someone responds to difficult conversations can reveal so much about them. If they get defensive or try to shift the blame, then yes, this is a red flag, but if they listen, validate your feelings and agree to work together on the issue, it’s green!

Don’t let red flags get in your way 

No good relationship is built on finding someone’s flaws, which is why it’s so important that you don’t ignore those green flags. 

Oftentimes, it is easier to spot when someone is behaving the way we want or expect them to, so it’s vital that you’re calm, balanced and honest with yourself. Determine which traits or actions are one-offs and which are consistent. Sure, no one is perfect, but if you can keep looking out for those green flags, you can find someone open, honest and whose good qualities far outweigh the bad. And if you need a little help along the way, our team of expert matchmakers can help. Get in touch today to find out how they can support you on your dating journey.

Since the early 2010s, dating apps have promised convenience, efficiency and a seemingly endless list of singles right at your fingertips. So, it’s easy to see why these apps became so popular. Algorithms, powered by data science and machine learning, claim they can predict what you want and help you find love by analysing your preferences, behaviours and swiping patterns. 

Yet, despite this sharp rise in digital matchmaking, an interesting trend has begun to emerge: more and more successful, high-achieving individuals are ditching dating apps and leaning toward human-led matchmaking services instead. And we’re going to look at why this is happening.

Time is their most valuable asset

For CEOs, entrepreneurs, executives and other high performers, time is the most precious commodity and finding the right partner isn’t a game of numbers; it’s a strategic, highly personal investment. 

The endless swiping, small talk and dead-end dates that come with app-based dating are not only frustrating and exhausting but highly inefficient.

When your time is valuable, the idea of outsourcing your love life to a trusted expert can be an essential investment. Human matchmakers can instantly streamline this process by carefully assessing potential matches, ensuring that every introduction has real potential. 

That way, instead of wasting hours on dates that go nowhere, successful individuals can trust that each meeting is carefully thought out based on true compatibility, not just shared hobbies or surface-level attraction. 

They expect a higher standard

It’s no secret that high achievers are more inclined to demand excellence in all areas of their lives, from business to fitness to personal development. So, why should their love life be any different?

Dating apps are designed to cater to the masses, which means they offer a broader selection of potential partners, without too much filtering in terms of quality, ambition or emotional intelligence. 

Successful people don’t want to settle for “good enough”, and nor should they! They want someone exceptional; a partner who understands their lifestyle, supports their ambitions and shares their drive. 

Human-led matchmaking understands these needs and works hard to seek out individuals who can truly complement their high-performance lifestyle. Expert matchmakers will also tailor their searches to align with a client’s standards, values and vision for the future.

Privacy and discretion are crucial 

For many high-profile individuals, maintaining privacy and discretion is non-negotiable. Dating apps, even the more exclusive ones, carry risks. For example, leaked screenshots, public profiles, and the possibility of unwanted exposure can all be problems depending on the nature of their career or lifestyle. 

Human-led matchmaking offers a far more discreet, confidential alternative. Matches are introduced privately, with both parties having been carefully vetted when signing up for their chosen service. 

This also means no public profiles. No random strangers scrolling through your personal information or dropping you an unwanted message. Just meaningful introductions handled in a professional and respectful way. 

And for people who need to protect their privacy, whether it’s a public image, a company or personal security, this level of discretion is invaluable.

They want a personalised experience

Dating apps operate purely on algorithms, whereas matchmakers operate on intuition, experience and deep personal understanding.

Successful individuals are used to working with experts, whether that’s a personal trainer or career coach, and they want someone who provides a bespoke service tailored to their specific goals. 

Human matchmakers fit into this framework perfectly. They offer personalised support, strategic advice, and emotional guidance that no other app could ever offer. 

From in-depth consultations to pre- and post-date feedback sessions, matchmaking is a concierge-level service. It treats finding love as a meaningful and intentional process that must be handled with care, not just a casual pastime. 

Choosing human-led matchmaking on your dating journey 

On paper, two people might seem like a perfect match, but human-led matchmaking goes far beyond checklists, instead focussing on character, values, emotional intelligence and more. 

Matchmakers understand that success in love, much like success in business, depends on compatibility at a deeper level.

Ultimately, the choice to work with a human matchmaker rather than relying on saturated dating apps reflects a deeper desire: the pursuit of meaningful connections. 

So, if you’re looking for love this year, get in touch with our team of expert matchmakers today and take the next exciting step on your dating journey.

In a world where swiping left and right has become synonymous with modern romance, it might come as a surprise that dating apps appear to be declining in popularity this year. 

Recent studies suggest that instant online gratification and quick hookups are no longer enough, and many individuals looking for love are choosing more traditional, in-person encounters. 

But is this really the end of dating apps or are we simply on a break with these digital matchmakers? 

Some apps have already begun rebranding  

There has been a noticeable shift away from dating apps over the past 12 months, as Ofcom reports a 16% drop in the use of the top 10 most popular dating apps. More specifically:

• Tinder saw over half a million users leave the app since May 2023.
• Bumble lost 368,000 users in the same period
• Even Hinge, the “app designed to be deleted,” experienced a drop of 131,000 users

This shift is highlighted by the recent announcement that Dating App Thursday is shutting down in order to pivot its focus toward hosting in-person dating events. 

Its founder explained that while dating apps may once have revolutionised the dating industry, they have also contributed to a sense of fatigue among users. In fact, another survey on the subject found that a staggering 78% of users reported feeling “emotionally, mentally, or physically exhausted” by dating apps. 

So, it’s clear that a growing number of people seem to be turning their backs on this once-dominant dating strategy – but why? 

The reasons so many are ditching dating apps 

Dating apps have lost their romantic allure and is this really a surprise? The endless swiping, ghosting and superficial connections can take their toll on even the most optimistic of daters. 

But there’s no denying this is a convenient way to date with thousands of potential matches just a swipe away, so what are some of the other reasons so many are ditching dating apps?

A sense of shallowness

Dating apps have an inherently superficial nature. Photos and bios become the basis for big dating decisions. And let’s face it, we’re all complex individuals who can’t be summed up in a sentence or two – no matter how witty it may be. 

So the swiping and judging of photos can feel transactional and hollow, leaving many craving deeper, more meaningful connections.

Daters wanting to prioritise quality over quantity 

When it comes to dating, in-person meetings foster a stronger sense of chemistry and authenticity. And sure, this means you can’t have six different conversations at once, but it supports quality time and real conversation rather than multiple shallow or meaningless interactions. 

The alternatives to dating apps

As dating apps lose their lustre, we thought we’d take a look at how today’s singles are choosing to meet potential partners instead. 

For many, in person dating events like speed dating and singles mixers reflects a renewed interest in meeting people face-to-face. These gatherings offer a more natural way for people to connect and have been on the rise since the lifting of lockdown. 

Community and hobby-based groups are also great ways for singles to find love through shared interests by joining clubs, classes or social groups. This could be cooking, running, reading, and so much more. 

By putting themselves out there more and regularly visiting coffee shops, parks, and bars or meeting through mutual friends, many are even embracing a return to spontaneity and finding potential partners in everyday life.

Then, of course, there are dating agencies and expert matchmakers like Ignite Dating. For those looking for a more strategic approach, dating agencies and matchmakers can offer a personalised experience with better results.  

Is this the beginning of the end for dating apps? 

While there’s no denying that the decline in dating app use is significant, it’s unlikely they’ll disappear entirely. Let’s face it, for many, they remain a convenient way to meet people, especially in today’s fast-paced world. 

However, it’s clear that app fatigue is increasing and that there is a growing awareness of the limitations of these tools as many look for a more authentic way to connect.

So, if you’ve decided that it’s time to break up with dating apps, we can help you kickstart a more rewarding dating journey this year. Get in touch with our matchmakers today to begin making genuine connections.

Like many elements of dating, determining whether you’re ready to date again after a breakup is completely individual to you and your experiences. There is no right length of time to wait or set process to follow, as each person and situation is different. The key to knowing if you’re ready to date again is to understand yourself and what you need or want from a new relationship.

Every person has a different time period in terms of whether or not they’re really ready for a relationship. Some people emotionally separate from a relationship while they’re still physically in the relationship. Then once the relationship ends and they are no longer with that person, they’re immediately ready for a new relationship because they’ve already been through the process of separating emotionally. Others are not ready for a new relationship straight away as they need time to process. They need to think about what they really need or want in another relationship, before they go out there and look for one. 

If you’re considering dating again but want to ensure it’s for the right reasons, we’ve pulled together some essential questions to ask yourself and advice on how to navigate the post-breakup era, so you can truly move on to a happy and healthy relationship with the right person. 

Are you over your ex?

It might seem obvious, but the first question to ask yourself is whether you’re truly over your ex. It’s easy to confuse loneliness with readiness for a new relationship, particularly in those early stages post breakup. Truly being over someone means that you’ve processed the breakup, healed from any hurt that may have been present, and separated emotionally from the relationship. 

If you find yourself frequently thinking about your ex, comparing others to them, or hoping they’ll come back, it’s probably too soon to start dating again. Instead, learn to enjoy your own company, find who you are and find peace in your previous relationship before seeking someone new. 

What are you looking for in a relationship?

Take the time to reflect on what you want in your next relationship. Are you looking for a committed relationship, something casual, companionship, or someone to share new experiences with? Or are you simply trying to fill the gap left by your previous partner? Understanding your needs and desires and having clear goals and intentions can pave the way for healthier, more fulfilling connections. 

Physical chemistry is important, but a true connection involves emotional and intellectual compatibility as well. If you’re only focusing on surface-level connections, it could be a sign that you are seeking something more casual.  New relationships require emotional openness and vulnerability. If you feel secure enough to be vulnerable and trust someone new, that’s a good sign.

When you think about dating, you should be excited about the future, not just focused on replacing the past. When you’re truly ready you will find joy in imagining what a future relationship could look like and be open to everything that that may bring. 

Have you taken time for self-care?

Before dating again, make sure you’ve invested time in your own well-being. Have you reconnected with hobbies, friends, or activities that bring you joy? Have you worked on personal growth? Being emotionally whole on your own is crucial before seeking out someone else. 

The best relationships come when you feel confident in yourself. When you feel emotionally stable, independent and genuinely happy with who you are. After all, you’re not seeking a partner to complete you but someone to complement your life. 

While it’s natural to want to date again after a breakup, ensuring you’re ready is key to finding a healthy, fulfilling relationship. Asking yourself the right questions and recognising signs of readiness will set you on the right path.

If you’re coming out of a breakup and unsure about where you stand, get in touch with our team of expert matchmakers to find out how we can provide the clarity and support you need to make your next relationship a success.

Needy is a phrase that is used commonly in today’s dating world. Whether it’s been directed at you or someone you know is talking about a potential love interest or partner, the chances are you will have heard the phrase batted around. But have you ever stopped to consider what it really means?

Most people would describe needy as someone in constant need of affection and attention. Think Disney’s famous fairy Tinkerbell, who is thought to die if she doesn’t get enough attention. But if you were to look up the term in the Oxford Dictionary, you will find that while needy can be defined as a person needing emotional support, its primary definition is of a person lacking the necessities of life. 

The truth is, there’s no such thing as someone who’s too needy. It simply doesn’t exist in the sense that we have been programmed to think of it. Instead, it is more aligned to the dictionary’s primary definition but rather than focusing on the physical aspects of need, we need to focus on the intangible entities. 

When it comes to needs it is easy to envision the physical aspects that a person may be lacking. For example, if you were stranded in a desert for a week, weak from exhaustion, starvation and dehydration, as soon as a plate of food and a glass of water is put in front of you the way you react to it would be different than if you had a bag of food and water with you in the desert. Your entire behaviour would be different, because your need for food and water would be much higher. 

Now in today’s society, those that are labelled as needy, are often the people who have not had what they rely on for survival, which is love, acceptance, connection, relationships, vulnerability, and safety. Their previous experience of relationships has been void of these fundamental aspects, which in turn means they have metaphorically been walking in an emotional desert, starved of the intangible entities that they need. 

Because they have been without them for so long, when they meet a new partner or a potential love interest who gives them those fundamental elements, they crave them more. So, people label them as needy. However, over time as those needs are met, their behaviours completely change, and the needy behaviours decrease. In its simplest form, we use love, connection, and relationships as a survival mechanism.

So, next time you meet someone who you would usually class as needy, take a moment to assess what their behaviour is really telling you. The likelihood is that with a little patience and a relationship filled with the foundational basics of love, acceptance, connection, vulnerability, and safety on both sides, that person’s behaviour is likely to change, and they could in fact be the exact person you’ve been searching for.

If you’re single and are looking for a healthy relationship filled with the fundamental basics of love and connection, then get in touch with our team of expert matchmakers to find out how we can help you fulfil your needs to find a happy and long-lasting relationship.

When it comes to finding that special someone, we all have a picture in our mind as to how that perfect partner will be. Everything from their looks to their personality traits and values have been analysed and added to a checklist, but the reality is that person doesn’t exist. The chances of finding someone with that exact unique set of traits and values, is practically impossible. Instead of looking for that idealised version of a partner, we should learn to look beyond the barriers that we are putting in place to find that person who is truly aligned with our own values, lifestyles, and aspirations of the future. Here are five ways to accept a partner who may not be perfect, but who is good for you. 

Adjust your expectations

If you are the type of person who constantly seeks perfection and has written off many possible relationships because they haven’t quite met your checklist – maybe they were slightly shorter than expected or outside of your age bracket – then you may be standing in the way of your own happily ever after. 

It’s important to adjust your expectations when it comes to relationships, as everyone has flaws, little quirks, and potential red flags. It’s part of being human. Instead of seeking perfection, focus on finding someone who aligns with your values, shares common interests, and supports you in achieving your goals.

Concentrate on the positives

Mindset plays a huge part in how happy we are with our lives and our relationships. Focusing on the parts that don’t meet your criteria, will in turn push you into thinking that they’re not right for you. 

Instead, deliberately give attention to the positive aspects and appreciate the qualities that make them a good fit. For example, consider their kindness, how supportive they are to you and your goals, and recognise their loyalty and all the other attributes that contribute to a healthy relationship. 

Focus on compatibility

Relationships are about more than how good you look together, it’s how well you fit on the features that really matter. Concentrate on how well you and your partner mesh in terms of hobbies and interests, communications styles, values, lifestyles, and your aspirations for the future. 

If you are aligned on these attributes, then you have a stronger foundation for which to build and grow in your relationship. Compatibility is more important than finding someone who meets an idealised version of a perfect partner.

Be patient

Patience is key in any relationship, as it takes time for a connection to grow and develop. Rushing can lead to misunderstandings or unmet expectations on both sides, so it’s important to take it slow with your partner. Offer support and understanding as you both evolve to become better matches for each other as the relationship naturally deepens. 

Work on personal growth

We’ve all heard the famous phrase, “it takes two to tango” and this couldn’t be truer in relationships. Personal growth is essential for a healthy partnership, as both individuals contribute to its success. By focusing on your own self-improvement, you can bring positive changes to the relationship. Whether it’s developing better communication skills, managing emotions, or becoming more self-aware, your growth can strengthen the bond and help create a more fulfilling and balanced connection. 

Contrary to popular belief, perfect partners only exist in fairytales and striving for an idealised version of who you expect your partner to be can hinder your journey of finding a meaningful relationship. So, next time you’re on a date put your checklist to the side and focus on the person in front of you. Because if they share your values, appreciate who you are and have the same plans for the future, then what does it matter if they’re an inch or two too short or an age older than you wished. Sometimes good enough really is better than perfect.

If you’re single and looking for a partner that may not be perfect but is good for you, then get in touch with our team of experts today.

In the world of dating, deciding when to take your relationship to the next level is a common obstacle for couples to navigate in those initial stages of getting to know each other. But, as Kalila and Holly mentioned in our recent podcast episode with SheSpot, there is no “right” or “wrong” time. The decision is deeply personal and varies for everyone, yet it often plays a significant role in the success of a relationship. 

For those who are single or navigating those early milestones in dating, understanding when to take this step can help ensure that your dating journey is both meaningful and fulfilling and your relationship is primed for success.

The timing of intimacy is not just about physical connection; it’s also about emotional readiness, mutual respect, and the stage of your relationship. For some, the spark might ignite quickly, leading to a strong, instant connection. However, this is usually a connection built on strong physical attraction or lust, rather than a deeper emotional bond and is usually short lived. 

For others, intimacy may evolve more slowly, requiring time to build trust and emotional depth. Recognising where you and your partner are on this spectrum can help guide your decision.

A common misconception is that there’s a “right” or “wrong” timeline that applies universally. The reality is that every relationship is unique, and the pace at which intimacy develops should reflect the needs and values of both partners. What’s most important is that the decision feels right to you both and is made with mutual consent and understanding.

But how do you know when you’ve reached that point?

Assessing emotional readiness

Before becoming intimate, it’s essential to assess your emotional readiness. Are you comfortable with your partner? Do you trust them? Emotional readiness means being in a place where you feel secure in your connection and confident that intimacy will deepen your relationship rather than complicate it. If you’re still feeling unsure or anxious about the relationship, it might be wise to take more time to get to know each other.

Not only that, but communication is also key. Have open, honest conversations with your partner about your feelings, expectations, and boundaries. This dialogue not only ensures that both of you are on the same page but also strengthens your emotional bond, laying a solid foundation for a healthy relationship.

Aligning your values and goals

Your personal values and relationship goals should guide the decision to become intimate. Some people might place a high value on waiting until they feel a strong emotional or even spiritual connection, while others may feel comfortable moving forward based on physical attraction and mutual respect. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, but it’s crucial to align your actions with what feels right for you.

For those working with a matchmaker, this is a topic that should be discussed early in the process. A skilled matchmaker will take your values and goals into account when pairing you with potential partners, helping to ensure that you meet someone whose approach to intimacy aligns with yours. They are also on hand to give an impartial perspective on the relationship and help you to determine where your feelings lie and how taking the relationship to the next level will affect your journey together. 

Building trust and respect

Trust and respect are cornerstones of any healthy relationship and are especially important when it comes to intimacy. Taking the time to build trust ensures that both partners feel safe and respected. It also creates a space where intimacy can flourish naturally.

If you’re unsure whether the time is right, consider the level of trust you’ve established with your partner. Do you feel confident that they respect your boundaries and will honour your needs? If the answer is yes, you’re in a good place to take the next step. If not, then consider taking the relationship a little slower and giving you both that extra time for trust to develop. 

But most importantly you need to trust yourself and the process. 

Deciding when to get intimate with a partner is a deeply personal choice, one that should be made with care, consideration, and mutual respect. By focusing on emotional readiness, aligning with your values, and building trust, you can make a decision that feels right for both you and your partner. Ultimately, the right time to get intimate is when it feels right for you – trust yourself and the process, and the rest will follow naturally.

If you’re single and looking for some guidance on navigating your dating journey, get in touch with our team of expert matchmakers today. With their guidance and support you can enjoy a dating journey that not only empowers you and gives you what you need to navigate the complexities that come with a dating journey in this modern era, but also allows you to appreciate the little and big milestones ahead.