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The Deceptive Allure of Future Faking

For the most part, dating can be an exhilarating and enjoyable adventure, filled with the excitement of new connections and the promise of future possibilities. However, it can also be a minefield of emotional pitfalls and avoidable dating trends – one of the most deceptive being future faking. 

The term, which has gained popularity in the dating world in recent years, refers to the actions of one partner making grand promises about the future to create a false sense of security and investment in the relationship, without any real intention of following through. But, when you’re in the initial stages of getting to know somebody, how can you be sure their actions are genuine?

Whether you are brand new to the dating world or been navigating it for a while, understanding and recognising the signs of future faking is crucial to the success of your goal of meeting a long-term, committed partner. 

So, what is future faking?

Future faking involves the action of making huge promises or speaking extensively about the future of a relationship in order to manipulate and secure a partner’s commitment. The tactic is often used by individuals who are either unsure of their own intentions or who seek to control the dynamic of the relationship and can manifest itself in various forms. Whether you’re talking about moving in together, planning far-off vacations, discussing marriage, or even naming potential future children, if these conversations are happening within a brief period of dating, there’s a chance that they could be signs of future faking. 

The emotional impact

While in the beginning it may create a euphoric sense of connection and excitement, as time passes, and the promises remain unfulfilled the deceived partner can experience confusion, insecurity, and deep hurt. This emotional impact can lead to a significant loss of trust and self-esteem, making it even more challenging for them to navigate future relationships. 

But how do you recognise the signs?

Recognising future faking can be tricky, especially when you’re caught up in the whirlwind of a new romance. However, there are some common red flags that you can watch out for:

  1. Rapid advancement: if your partner is pushing for you to take the next step in your relationship, like moving in together or talking about long-term plans incredibly early on, then proceed with caution. The quick progression in a relatively brief time frame could be a sign of future faking. 
  2. Inconsistency: pay close attention to whether your partner’s actions align with their goals. When you’re together, do they talk about what the future will look like or how they plan to do certain things like a proposal or moving close-by, but make no concrete steps towards it? If the answer is yes, it may be time to look a little closer as to whether their words are genuine. 
  3. Too good to be true: we all know when it comes to buying something, if the offer seems too good to be true it quite often is. But why when it comes to relationships do we gloss over that fact? If the promises seem excessively idealistic or too perfect, it might be a case of future faking. 

How to protect yourself

When it comes to the early days of a relationship, it can be easy to get swept up in the moment. After all, you’ve had several dates, the chemistry is there and you have a deep connection, but it’s important to not let your heart run away with you. Here are some top tips to safeguard you from the possibility of future faking in your new relationship:

  1. Take your time: allow relationships to develop naturally without rushing into major commitments. Part of the fun of dating is in those initial stages where you’re getting to know each other and enjoying each other’s company without the pressure of knowing where it is heading. 
  2. Observe actions: we’ve all heard the age-old saying that “actions speak louder than words,” and dating is no different. Trust their actions over the words that they say. Consistent behaviour is a far better predictor of a person’s true intentions than lavish promises. 
  3. Communicate openly: foster open communication about your expectations and concerns in your relationship. A genuine partner will respect your need for clarity and transparency about how they’re feeling and where the relationship is going. 
  4. Trust your instincts: if something doesn’t feel right, don’t ignore it. Your intuition is a powerful tool when it comes to recognising manipulation, so if something doesn’t feel right in your gut, mention it, and remember the above point when it comes to the response. 

If you are a victim of future faking, it can tarnish your dating journey and have a deep emotional impact on not only that relationship but also future relationships that you enter into. But, by being aware of it and being able to recognise the signs will go a long way in protecting you and empowering you to navigate the dating world with greater discernment. 

Enlisting the help of a matchmaker can provide an added layer of security and expertise in your dating journey, helping you find a genuine, committed partner. Everybody that they introduce you to will have been ID-checked and interviewed to ensure that they are who they say they are and that their intentions are genuine when it comes to finding a partner. 

The key thing to remember is, the foundation of any successful relationship is built on trust, honesty, and mutual respect – qualities that no amount of future faking can replicate.

At Ignite Dating, your dedicated matchmaker is with you every step of the way, working with you to understand what is important to you in a partner and to make sure your dating journey is as streamlined and enjoyable as possible. They are on hand to help you navigate the trickier parts of dating, so you can relax every time you meet somebody new. Get in touch with our team of expert matchmakers today to find out how we can help you on your dating journey.

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What does quality look like in the dating world?

If you type dating agencies in the UK into Google, you’ll be met with an overwhelming number of possible agencies that all claim to be the ‘perfect partner’ for your dating journey. But with hundreds of agencies out there all offering slightly different services but promising the same results, how do you weed out the good from the bad and find the right agency for you?

While it can be overwhelming to go through them all, there are some subtle but powerful ways that can determine whether an agency is going to be right for you, and a major part of it lies in how they are set up.

Resources

Over the last few years more and more boutique agencies have been popping up with promises of extensive networks and resources to help you find your partner, but the problem with these is that they are usually run by one person. While you may be fooled into thinking that working with a single matchmaker will provide you with personalised 1-1 support whenever you need it, in reality it reduces the amount of time that they can spend working for you as that time needs to be spread across all their clients. 

To give you more insight to this, you can have a look on Companies House. If the agency you are considering has a low turnover, then it is often a reflection of the amount of clients, team and resources that they have to deliver service. Matchmaking, when done effectively, is a team effort and it takes a number of different people with varying skillsets and professional qualifications working together to provide a safe, enjoyable, and successful dating journey. From our copywriters to our coaches, stylists to matchmakers and everyone else in-between, our team works together to ensure that your journey is seamless from start to finish. 

Accreditation

Matchmaking goes far beyond the practice of simply matching two people together. After all, anyone can do that, but it doesn’t mean it will be successful. Instead, you should be looking at agencies that invest in industry training and relevant qualifications for their matchmakers. At Ignite Dating, our team of matchmakers all undergo qualifications with the Matchmaking Institute in addition to extensive in-house training. Add to this the fact that the agency’s founder, Michelle Begy, is Myers-Briggs and FIRO certified and a science based coach, our matchmaker Samantha Rowland-Jones is not only a qualified matchmaker but also a Myers-Briggs certified coach, along with Julie Drummond, an established and accredited dating coach. This means you can be sure that your introductions are based on recognised and psychologically backed profiling and matching techniques, as well as many years’ experience in the trade.

Compliance

Dating is a personal journey, and you want to make sure that the agency you select has stringent policies around data compliance and security of your personal information. Ignite Dating places a strong emphasis on discretion, privacy, and confidentiality. Our agency is ICO compliant and utilises the highest levels of security for its database, which means that you can be sure that any information you provide remains private and secure at all times. Our team is dedicated to upholding the highest standards of professionalism and discretion, providing our clients with peace of mind as they embark on their search for love.

Personal touch

Having a team of people around you doesn’t mean that you lose the personal touch. In fact, at Ignite Dating we pride ourselves on offering award-winning customer service to our clients from the moment that they enquire through to them finding true love. Everyone that joins, has been met face-to-face with a dating consultant, regardless of where you are based and your availability as we offer evening and weekend appointments around the UK as standard. This gives us the chance to meet you at a place and time that suits so we can get to know the softer aspects of your personality as well as what you tell us during the meeting, so that we can work with you in a way that is right for your personality and your individual needs. 

Not only that, but there are multiple touch points along the way before you’re even ready for matching. This is to ensure that you not only understand what to expect from your dating journey, but also ensure that you have everything you need to leave you feeling confident, energised, and safe throughout. At Ignite Dating, we don’t just take anyone on. Our clients have all been verified and ID-checked to ensure that they are indeed single and suitable matches for our other clients. This thorough interview process includes ID and address checks, questions around health, addictions, and criminal convictions as well as an in-depth digital footprint check. If a potential client doesn’t meet these standards, then we will decline them engaging our service  as we take the security and protection of our clients very seriously. 

Helping you make the right choice

Now these are by no means the only considerations you need to look out for when choosing a dating agency, but they do highlight the importance of reading through websites and conducting your own research carefully. We also recommend having an open conversation over a coffee with the matchmaker who will be working with you, allowing you to ask any questions and clarify anything that you are unsure of to get a better understanding of the services that they offer and how they work in order to decide which agency is right for you.

If you are single and have made that decision to join an agency, but are not sure where to start then get in touch with our friendly team today for an open and honest chat about how we can help you on your dating journey.

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Could the 777 rule change your dating journey?

When it comes to dating, everyone has their own opinions on what you should and shouldn’t do. While there are some bad pieces of advice out there – we all remember the age-old ‘treat ‘em mean and keep ‘em keen’ and the ‘wait three days before responding after a date’ to name a few –  every so often you stumble across something that genuinely works, and the 777 rule is just that. If you’re single and considering enlisting the expertise of a matchmaker, understanding this rule could be your first step towards a more fulfilling dating journey.

What is the 777 dating rule?

Offering a refreshing and structured approach designed to streamline the dating process, this simple yet effective guideline is perfect for those venturing into the dating scene, whether for the first time or after a long hiatus. It breaks down the initial stages of dating into manageable segments, emphasising patience and thoughtful progression and includes three key steps:

  1. Seven days of communication

When you start your dating journey and you have matched with somebody, the first step is to communicate with them to find out more about who they are beyond their profile. Spend at least seven days communicating with your potential match, whether through texting, phone calls or video chats, before going on a date. The goal here is to build a basic connection and get a feel for each other’s personalities and interests without the pressure of meeting in person right away. 

  1. Seven different dates

Once you’ve established a basic connection, aim to go on seven dates with this person. These dates should ideally be spread over several weeks and entail a range of different activities such as coffee dates, dinner dates and even an activity or two. This will give you ample time to see different sides of your partner in various settings and allow you to explore your compatibility, shared values, and mutual interests.

  1. Seven weeks of consideration

After completing these seven dates, spend seven weeks reflecting on your experiences and feelings. During this period, focus on assessing the potential for a long-term relationship. Discuss any concerns or thoughts with your matchmaker to gain additional insights and perspectives, helping you decide on the future of the relationship with clarity and confidence. 

Why the 777 rule works

The beauty of the 777 dating rule lies in its structure. The planned and controlled approach encourages a balanced and thoughtful approach to dating. In an age of instant gratification, this rule slows down the process and encourages patience, allowing genuine connections to form. It encourages you to invest the time in understanding your potential partner and what you are looking for from a relationship. 

Not only that, but by breaking down the dating process into clear stages, it reduces the overwhelming nature of modern dating. You know what to focus on at each step, making the journey less stressful and more enjoyable. If you embrace the 777 rule with an open mind and a commitment to follow each stage, trust the process and be patient you will enjoy a dating journey that is sure to leave you feeling confident, energised, and safe. 

Plus, with structured communication and a series of dates, you get a comprehensive view of your potential partner’s character, values, aspirations, and lifestyle. This thorough approach helps in making more informed decisions about long-term compatibility. 

How a matchmaker can enhance this journey further

Enlisting the help of a professional matchmaker can significantly enhance your experience with the 777 rule. Matchmakers use their expertise and resources to provide personalised introductions with people who align with your values, interests, and goals, increasing the likelihood of compatibility from the start.

Matchmakers also provide ongoing guidance and support, helping you navigate each stage of the 777 rule and your overall dating journey. They offer advice on effective communication, suggest meaningful date ideas, and help you reflect on your experiences. Sometimes it can be challenging to see the bigger picture when you’re emotionally invested, but a matchmaker offers an objective perspective, helping you make clear, rational decisions about your relationship. 

By following the 777 dating rule and partnering with a professional matchmaker, you’re setting yourself up for a more intentional and fulfilling dating experience. This structured approach not only simplifies the journey but also increases your chances of finding a meaningful and lasting connection. 

If you’re ready to take that first step, then get in touch with the team today and let our expert matchmakers and the 777 rule guide you to the love you’ve been searching for.

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The best date ideas in New York City

New York is often dubbed the city that never sleeps and with so many great places to explore and must-see attractions that are open throughout the day and night, it’s easy to see why. 

To celebrate our recent expansion stateside, we’ve rounded up the best date ideas to enjoy in the city. Whether you’re looking for new places to head with a partner or searching for the ideal first date spot, here’s our top tips for the best experiences to share together. 

Get reacquainted with Central Park

More than 8.6 million people live in New York City, but it doesn’t feel that way when you head to Central Park. Spanning 840 acres, this all season and free-to-enter oasis in the middle of Manhattan has plenty to offer. Whether your idea of a perfect date is a paddle across Central Park Lake in a rowboat, a visit to see the animals at Central Park Zoo or a simple picnic lunch on the Great Lawn, you’re sure to find something to suit. 

Lose yourselves in the literary world of The Morgan Library & Museum

From ultra-rare first editions to manuscripts, drawings, and sheet music from some of history’s most famous artists, The Morgan Library & Museum has it all. What originally began as the personal library of financier, collector, and cultural benefactor Pierpont Morgan, has since grown over the years to create a dramatic organisation of literary delights all housed in a stunning and dramatic architectural design. 

Travel back in time at The Met Cloisters

Inspired by European churches, castles and monasteries, the stunning gardens and majestic architecture on show at The Met Cloisters is sure to set the perfect scene for you to live out your romantic medieval fantasies. With a focus on the Romanesque and Gothic periods, The Cloisters is home to a diverse collection of medieval artworks allowing you both to explore and happily reminisce on days gone by. 

Take a sunset stroll across the Brooklyn Bridge

It’s a scene played out in many a romantic movie, but whether you start at the Brooklyn or Manhattan side of the bridge, you’re sure to encounter a breathtaking view that really outdoes itself come nightfall. Time your walk with the beauty of sunset to make the most of the gorgeous backdrop as you walk along, chatting and getting to know each other better.

Visit an original New York City Speakeasy

Retro speakeasies have become relatively common in New York City over the years, so why not score some cool points with your date by visiting a true original? Little Branch was one of the first speakeasies on the scene back in 2005. Behind its nondescript entrance on Seventh Avenue, you can head down the stairs into a perfectly chic cocktail bar where the bartenders are on hand to create an expertly crafted cocktail just to your taste. 

Transcend time and space at The Met

Home of the infamous Met Gala Ball, the Met is an iconic powerhouse when it comes to the arts. Housing over 5,000 years of art from around the world, you and your date can travel around the world and across time through its 490,000+ works of art. Not only that but every Friday and Saturday night, it’s Date Night at The Met, allowing you to experience live music, drink specials and an assortment of light fare in this stunning building. 

Impress with dinner and a view of the Empire State Building

What could be more special than celebrating your relationship at New York’s most iconic landmark, the Empire State Building? Offering breathtaking views in every direction from the 102nd floor and complemented with elegant dishes at the STATE Grill and Bar, this iconic date is sure to impress day or night.  

These are just a few of our favourites, but with so many attractions and great places to explore, the sky really is your limit when it comes to date ideas in New York.

If you’re based in New York and looking for a new way to date, then get in touch with our team today to find out more about how we can help on your search for love.

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Why Dating When Your Partner Has Dementia Might Not Be The Best Choice

Love is a powerful force, capable of transcending boundaries and overcoming obstacles. However, there are certain situations where the complexities of life challenge the conventional notions of romance. One such circumstance, which is highly contested and debated, is when a spouse is grappling with dementia or other debilitating illnesses and the other has a desire to start looking for companionship and maybe more in time.  

While the yearning for connection and companionship may persist, the decision to embark on or continue a romantic relationship outside of marriage during such a trial raises profound ethical, emotional and practical dilemmas. 

Dementia can erode memories, distort personalities, and alter the very fabric of intimacy and partnership that a couple shared for many years. For the spouse left to witness this gradual unravelling, emotions oscillate between heartache, resilience, and unwavering commitment to their loved one’s wellbeing. Yet, amongst this turmoil, the allure of external affection and intimacy may beckon, presenting a moral quandary that demands careful consideration.

At the heart of this very dilemma lies the ethical question of fidelity and consent. When you got married you made a promise to have and to hold in sickness and in health, but what does that mean in reality? Dementia strips away the cognitive faculties essential for meaningful consent, blurring the lines between informed choice and vulnerability. Even if the spouse with dementia seems to express acquiescence or indifference to the possibility of their partner dating again, it’s imperative to question whether they possess the cognitive clarity to comprehend the ramifications of infidelity. Engaging in extramarital affairs under such circumstances can betray the trust and integrity of the marital bond, casting a shadow of deceit over the sanctity of the relationship.

Not only that, but the emotional toll exacted by dementia is profound and unrelenting. Witnessing the gradual dissolution of the person you once cherished, coupled with the demands of caregiving, can inflict a heavy burden on the spouse left to navigate this harrowing journey. Emotions of grief, guilt and profound loneliness may be unavoidable, tempting the search of solace and connection outside the confines of marriage. Yet, the pursuit of external affection risks further exacerbating the emotional turmoil you are currently feeling, compounding the complexities of an already fragile relationship.

Practical considerations further complicate the intricacies of dating while caring for a spouse with dementia. Providing round-the-clock care demands resolute dedication, patience, and a willingness to sacrifice one’s own needs for the sake of their partner’s wellbeing. Introducing the distractions of an extramarital relationship can undermine the quality of care provided, diverting attention and resources away from the essential responsibilities of caregiving. 

Furthermore, the blurring of boundaries between caregiver and romantic partner can precipitate conflicts of interest that can ultimately jeopardise the integrity of both relationships. Caregiving necessitates empathy, compassion, and a solid commitment to meeting the needs of the spouse with dementia. By introducing external romantic dynamics to the equation, you can fracture this delicate balance, eroding trust and compromising the dignity of all parties involved – ultimately ending up feeling hurt and lonelier than before. 

The decision to engage in extramarital relationships while caring for a spouse with dementia is a deeply personal and morally fraught choice. It demands introspection, empathy, and a steadfast commitment to upholding the sanctity and dignity of the marital bond. While the pursuit of external affection may offer fleeting solace amidst the turmoil of caregiving, it risks inflicting irreparable harm on all parties involved. Ultimately, love, in its truest form, transcends the boundaries of desire, demanding unwavering fidelity, compassion and integrity, even in the face of life’s most formidable trials. Whilst at Ignite Dating, we are sympathetic and understanding of these complexities, we ensure that all matches are single and in the right emotional space to date ethically and morally.

Are you looking for a partner who understands the complexities of being a widow following a journey of dementia? Someone who shares your values, life goals and aspirations for the future. Get in touch today to find out how we can help you with a safe and enjoyable search for love.

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Spring date outfit inspiration for women

Luxe Collective is a preloved luxury reseller that buys and sells the most sought-after pieces from the world’s most renowned designers. Here experts from the brand share their top tips for revitalising your wardrobe and feeling your best with designer bags, shoes, and accessories.  

Spring is the season of new beginnings, and the perfect time to make the most of the opportunities the new season presents to plan your next romantic rendezvous. Whether you’re meeting someone new or enjoying a night out with your significant other, the right outfit can make all the difference to how you feel. We understand the importance of making a lasting impression, which is why we’ve curated the ultimate guide to spring date fashion for women. From coffee in the park and cocktails on a sunny terrace to a romantic dinner in a beautiful restaurant, we’ve got the perfect styling ideas to put a spring in your step and help your confidence shine through.  

Coffee in the park  

There’s something undeniably charming about a leisurely coffee date in the park. The crisp spring air, the budding flowers – it’s the perfect setting for getting to know someone new. For a look that’s casual yet stylish, opt for a pair of white straight-leg jeans and a cashmere knit. Pull on a canvas jacket or trench coat and pair your outfit with classic leather ankle boots or luxury sneakers. Our favourites would be a pair of Valentino VLogo boots or a pair of Chanel CC runners that can add a pop of colour to your look. The beauty of a luxury sneaker? Not only are they comfortable for a stroll in the park, but they also add a touch of personality to your outfit. Finally, complete your outfit with a luxury crossbody bag, perhaps a Hermès Constance or a Louis Vuitton multi-pochette, to keep your essentials close at hand while you enjoy your coffee.  

Cocktails on a rooftop terrace  

Brighter evenings are best enjoyed with cocktails on a sun-soaked terrace. This is also a prime opportunity to showcase your fashion-forward style with an elevated outfit that seamlessly transitions from drinks to dinner.  

Consider pairing relaxed denim with an oversized blazer or a boxy tailored jacket for a sophisticated yet cool date night look. When elevating everyday staples like denim, accessories play a crucial role. We adore vintage designer jewellery for adding a touch of glamour, whether it’s vintage Chanel earrings, layers of delicate necklaces from Van Cleef & Arpels, or stacks of Cartier love bracelets.  

Finish your outfit by slipping into a pair of stunning designer heels like a Louis Vuitton mule or a classic Jimmy Choo sandal, and you’re ready to sip cocktails, bask in the sun, and hopefully savour some stellar company too.  

Romantic dinner date  

For a more intimate and romantic evening, nothing beats a dinner date in a beautiful restaurant. Strike a sophisticated yet sexy balance with a little black dress and a pair of killer high heels. Classic silhouettes like a Louboutin So Kate stiletto pump would be perfect. But if you’re looking for a heeled sandal, it’s got to be a pair of Saint Laurent Opyum heels that deliver flirty and fun. Add a finishing touch with an elegant bag. Choose from a Chanel classic flap bag, perhaps a vintage Dior Saddle, or even a trending Prada bag. A beautiful dinner is the perfect opportunity to wear some of your glamorous and luxurious pieces. Whether it’s an LBD or a tailored set, adding luxury designer accessories, be it bags, shoes, or jewellery, will help you achieve date-night luxe perfect for the spring season.   

Continue the love story  

From Hermès, Louis Vuitton, Chanel, and more, Luxe Collective offers 100% authentic designer bags, shoes, and accessories for both men and women. Whether you’re on the lookout for the perfect new piece to add to your collection or you want to streamline your current closet, Luxe Collective offer an expert-led preloved luxury service. We allow you to maximise the earning potential of your preloved pieces as well as the opportunity to buy incredible designer items.  

Looking for a more personal, 1-2-1 selling experience? Luxe Exclusive VIP Buyer Lauren Green is on hand to help streamline your closet. Simply email Lauren at lauren@luxecollectivefashion.com to start your selling journey. 

Luxe Collective is offering all Ignite members £30 off their first order with code IGNITE30

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What is the “if he wanted to, he would” dating advice trend?

Have you come across the phrase “if he wanted to, he would” in the dating world? The statement has quickly gained traction on TikTok and is used as a shorthand to describe when a woman is perceived as being in a one-sided romantic relationship. The phrase is often used to describe the situation where a woman puts in lots of time and energy into the relationship, while the person she is seeing treats it as an option or don’t properly return their affections. “If he wanted to, he would” implies that if a man wanted to make things happen, he would, so their inaction demonstrates they lack interest. The relationship dynamic may rely on the woman initiating all the contact and making all the plans. It’s often used in the early days of dating when people get stuck in frustrating situationships where they are left wondering whether it’s worth waiting around to see if the other person commits. 

Over on TikTok many people shared videos of what their partner does to demonstrate their affection and make them feel valued, using examples of gifts they’ve received and the lengths a partner has gone to make them feel like they are making them a priority. From huge bouquets of flowers and rose petals sprinkled over the bed, it’s painting a picture of romantic gestures that demonstrate how much somebody cherishes their partner. Often the hashtag #ifhewantedtohewould is used to make the point this is the type of behaviour that suggests their partner is heavily invested in the relationship.  

The problem with the phrase

There’s plenty of support for the argument that it really isn’t possible to boil down dating romantic interactions into one simple phrase, so “if he wanted to, he would” is seen as a drastic oversimplification. As a Cosmopolitan article highlights, the phrase is problematic because single people may have experienced trauma and obstacles in their life that stop them being able to dedicate their full energy to dating. They may even be worried they are going to come across as too eager in the early days of dating and instead end up playing hard to get. The article concludes there is no such thing as one-size-fits-all dating advice as every situation is unique. 

A Glamour article points out you may miss out on amazing people if you go by the manta “if he wanted to, he would.”  There are many factors that affect somebody’s behaviour which means it might not be straightforward for them to simply provide what a love interest wants, says the article. You might come across people who may be socially awkward, or who overthink situations. They may fear rejection or have low self-esteem. Assuming somebody is not that into you and making assumptions based on their actions means you could end up throwing away what could have been a promising relationship

Another Cosmopolitan article points out that it’s important to remember a new love interest might not be aware what you want. You won’t be able to truly understand why somebody isn’t doing something you want if you don’t openly communicate about your needs, the piece points out. If you’re in a situationship, for example, the other person might want to take you for a nice dinner, but they may worry you will think it’s too much. Communication works both ways and it’s important to discuss your needs in the relationship, so the other person has a fair chance of understanding where you are coming from and what you want. Then, if made aware of what you are looking for, they will only give you less than you deserve, then you can make the call of whether to walk away. 

We’d love to hear your thoughts on the phrase – share them over on Instagram or Facebook

Find out more about our award-winning matchmaking services here.

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How do you approach somebody in real life?

Does the thought of approaching a total stranger who has caught your eye bring you out in a cold sweat?  Would you be confident enough to make the first move on a night out? You may feel it’s a bold step you could never dream of actually doing, so you might be interested to hear a recent survey found 76% of people are open to being approached by a potential date in real life. 

Many singles avoid approaching people they come across in day-to-day life because asking a stranger out in person risks embarrassment and rejection if they don’t respond well. An article on the New York Post recently pointed out that a recent poll found 45% of men aged 18 to 25 had never approached a woman in person. Another survey found 72% of men said a fear of being perceived as creepy impacts their interactions with women. However, if many single people are happy to be approached in real life, are you missing a trick by being reluctant to strike up a conversation with somebody you’d like to get to know better?

There are many ways to approach a stranger that ensure you aren’t making them feel uncomfortable or confused about your intentions. It’s important to pay close attention to how they respond to your approach and know when to call it quits if they make it clear they aren’t interested romantically. Many people are flattered to be approached and appreciate the authentic connection that can come from meeting in real life versus being approached on an app. 

We’ve shared our top tips for ways to approach somebody to help you be better prepared for making the first move when you are out and about. 

Think about where you approach somebody: It can be tricky to catch somebody’s eye on the morning commute while they may be engrossed by scrolling on their phone or rushing to get to work in time. If you are looking to create opportunities for more natural approaches, then think about places you go where you might share something in common. It could be the place you exercise, a concert, or an evening class. This makes it easier to strike up a conversation based on the common ground you share, and you can pick up on cues from the other person to judge whether they are giving signals that they are also interested romantically. If somebody starts to weave their partner into conversation, it’ll become clear they are attached. 

Try not to worry about the worst-case scenario:  Even the most confident person can feel out of their depth trying to strike up conversation with a stranger who is surrounded by a group of friends. However, if you approach them in a kind and courteous manner it’s unlikely the situation will pan out as badly as you may have feared. Things go wrong when people suspect you of having a hidden agenda or undesirable intentions, so if you are friendly and straightforward the other person will hopefully respond well. Leave cheesy opening lines well alone though, as they might create an instant turn-off. 

Don’t linger if the other person doesn’t appear interested:  It’s important to make an approach quick and move on if the other person don’t seem interested. Turning somebody down may make the other person fear you’ll react badly, so be prepared to be polite and leave. Being too persistent can make somebody uncomfortable so pick up on their reactions, including if they are looking away or getting restless, and politely move on from the conversation. 

Be more approachable: Making eye contact and smiling at strangers when you are out and about makes it much easier to initiate real-life connections. Make sure you come across as friendly and approachable, with welcoming body language instead of crossing your arms or staring down at your phone. You can glean how somebody might react to being approached if they return your smile or make eye contact.   

Move things along: If you are getting the feeling the person you like is mutually interested, you can offer your phone number or share your social media handle so you can communicate further and start planning a formal date to get to know each other better. You can also keep thing casual when you meet by suggesting you should both grab a drink sometime, and if they respond positively, you can get it touch to make the arrangements. 

Don’t forget to rely on your gut feeling when you’re talking to somebody, as their cues and body language should give you a good idea of whether they’re interested in pursuing a romantic connection. Why not try gathering up the courage to approach somebody if you like them as you never know where it might lead you, and the opportunity may never present itself again!

Are you looking for somebody special who will truly understand you and share your values, life goals and aspirations? Your dedicated matchmaker is waiting to introduce you to some truly amazing people. Get in touch today to find out how we can help you with a safe and enjoyable search for love.

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The best date ideas in West London

West London is a relaxed and sophisticated area packed full of popular places to explore and must-see attractions. If you live there, you’ll be in the know about the beautiful green spaces and architecture that enhances the area. 

As part of our London date ideas blog series, we’ve rounded up the best things to do in West London. Whether you are looking for new places to head with your partner or you’re searching for the ideal first date spot, find our top tips for the best experiences to share together. 

Find great al fresco options 

It does feel like the weather will never improve, but one day the sun will shine enough to spend a warm afternoon mooching together, seeking out an al fresco table to watch the world go by.  This is the perfect time to make a beeline for Little Venice, a tranquil stretch of water where the Grand Union Canal meets the Regent’s Canal. Rembrandt Gardens is a lovely spot for a picnic on a nice day or you can seek out the tasty eateries that overlook the canal. You can also take to the water on a narrowboat for a relaxed sightseeing tour along the Regent’s Canal to explore more of London’s landmarks. Fancy something a little different? Look for The Puppet Theatre Barge which is moored at Little Venice, offering a range of live music, theatre and puppet shows. 

The Royal Botanic Gardens at Kew is a UNESCO World Heritage site and makes for a great day out. There is a programme of events to get involved in or you can just enjoy seeing the beautiful gardens at your own pace. 

Richmond Park is another green space to enjoy where you might get a peek of the historic herd of deer. Stretch your legs around the scenic trails while enjoying the views

Explore interesting neighbourhoods

Portobello Market in Notting Hill is one of the most famous street markets in the world offering an ever-changing variety of sellers and stalls to explore. It’s best known as the place to head for interesting antiques, but you are spoilt for choice when it comes to shopping for all sorts of things. Foodies won’t be disappointed either with a delicious array of street food and cuisines on offer. Make sure you linger in the area as Notting Hill is a great neighbourhood to explore, especially to check out the iconic pastel-coloured houses and pick your favourite from the fashionable restaurants on offer. For a real treat head to The Ledbury, a venue that boasts three Michelin stars offering delicious tasting menus you can pair with matching wines.  

Fabulous nights out

Make the most of long summer evenings on the open roof terrace at Darcie & May Green in Paddington, a venue made up of two canal boats that share a combined open air upper deck. 

Viajante87 is an intimate Latin America inspired cocktail bar in Notting Hill Gate with delightful drinks list you’ll enjoy sampling. Trailer Happiness offers great rum and cocktails with a Tiki twist on Portobello Road. If you prefer a cosy pub atmosphere then head to the Harwood Arms in Fulham, an upmarket gastropub offering a game-focused menu and produce from its rooftop vegetable garden. 

Enjoy the arts

West London is packed with must-see museums and galleries which make it easy to spend a few hours strolling around enjoying each other’s company. The Natural History Museum and Science Museum are world famous, but don’t overlook interesting options such as the Museum of Brands in Notting Hill and the Design Museum.   

Outside of theatre district, find incredible shows over at the Lyric in Hammersmith with a packed schedule of live performances available. The Canal Café Theatre is a renowned comedy, cabaret and theatre venue which has hosted many household names. Find it housed above the Bridge House Pub in Little Venice where you can grab pre-show drinks and food. 

We’ve love to hear your top tips for the best places to head in West London – share them on our Facebook or Instagram page! 

Our dedicated matchmaking team are ready and waiting for your call to help you with your search for love. Get in touch today to find out more!

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How do people meet their partner?

When you are in the thick of the dating scene, but you’ve still not met the right person it can be tempting to get fed up and wonder how anybody meets anyone. It can be disheartening to put in lots of effort but still be in search of that elusive connection. 

If this sounds familiar, you might be interested in recent stats that shed light on where people met their partner. As you may expect, there are a range of avenues that lead to long-lasting relationships. The YouGov research discovered nearly a fifth of people meet their partner at work, with an equally as popular route being meeting through friends. Of those surveyed, 15% met people while they were out and about, 7% found love through an online dating platform and 6% through dating apps. Also mentioned was meeting due to shared hobbies (5%) and through family (3%).  Digital routes were most popular among younger age groups, with more than a fifth of 25- to 34-year-olds meeting this way. 

While it may feel like the apps are the go-to place to search for love, the figures make it clear there are plenty of other successful ways to meet a partner. How you met somebody may even have a bearing on the long-term prospects of the relationship. An article in Psychology Today points out research that found the most successful couples meet through shared social networks or while pursuing a common interest. The article also points out that couples with weaker social ties outside of each other may take longer to commit to marriage. 

While it’s all well and good to hear how other people met their partners, it can be tricky to find new love interests in everyday life. Flirting and approaching people offline isn’t straightforward for everybody, especially those who fear rejection. So, we’ve shared our top tips for improving your chances of meeting somebody new, without an app in sight. 

Think about your daily routine: It’s possible to run into somebody interesting at a variety of venues you head to everyday, such as the café where you grab your morning coffee, on public transport, at the pub, or at the gym. It’s important to pay attention to what’s going on rather than being distracted by constantly scrolling on your phone. See who might be trying to catch your eye and don’t be afraid to smile and make eye contact. Mix up the venues you head to as well, as going to the same bars and coffee shops may mean you are seeing the same faces repeatedly. 

Ask friends to introduce you to people they know:  Ok, so it’s not a good idea to be introduced to a friend of a friend merely because they also happen to be single. But there’s nothing wrong with asking a friend to introduce you to somebody they know who has caught your eye. Or if a friend has genuinely seen something in both of you that suggests you’ll be a good match, then why not take up their offer of setting you up? Try to say yes to dinner party invites and opportunities to get together with your friend’s wider circle, as you never know who you might meet along the way. 

Pursue your hobbies: Going to regular meetups or trying something new is a great way to introduce you to like-minded people. Whether it’s volunteering, joining a sports group or taking a new class, you might well get chatting to somebody with romance potential. 

Try singles’ events: They might not be for everybody, but more innovative singles’ events have emerged in the past few years. It’s not just speed dating but also nights out and get-togethers based around a shared interest which can help you meet a lot of single people in a short time. 

There can be so many advantages to meeting somebody in real life. You can see what they look like and how they act, rather than trying to scrutinise a decade-old photo on their profile. It can feel a lot less forced to meet naturally through a shared activity or night out than meeting as strangers for a first date. So, next time you’re out and about why not see who you come across – you never know where it will lead! 

We’d love to hear your top tips for meeting new people in real life – tell us more via our Facebook and Instagram pages! 

Ignite Dating is an elite matchmaking agency specialising in hand-selected personal introductions for our discerning clients. Our exclusive private network of available ladies and gentlemen boasts successful and professional people, like you, who are committed to finding a partner. Find out more here.