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What we really want in a partner

What we really want in a partner

You’ve probably been asked on more than one occasion what you look for in a partner. Often the most obvious answers come to mind – you want them to be attractive, funny and kind. But people are complex and no one is perfect, so over the years psychologists and scientists have conducted a lot of research into exactly what men and women are looking for in their significant other.

Every study has thrown up different results, but largely come to the same conclusion: looks usually find themselves near the bottom of the list, with traits such as honesty and kindness more likely to appear at the top. And while everyone is different and will seek out different things in their partners, research has highlighted some of the key personality traits that are important to us.

We’re going to take a closer look at what people really want in a partner and why these traits are so important for a successful relationship.

Honesty

Honesty is a key component in any relationship, which is probably why it is very often rated as one of the most important attributes in a partner. Honesty is important on so many levels. No relationship should be based on lies and you should always be able to be open with the person you love. But it’s also about being honest about who you are as a person and what you want from the future and from your relationship. Telling the truth is important, just as long as it’s always in a constructive way that both parties can use to improve and move forward in the relationship.

Confidence

Confidence is also consistently rated as one of the most important traits in a partner. Being insecure can lead to a number of issues in a relationship. Firstly, if you’re with someone who lacks confidence they may constantly question your relationship. Secondly, their negative feelings towards themselves aren’t just affecting them. They can also cause you to feel like you’re not trying enough or cause you to be upset that your partner is unhappy with themselves. These negative emotions can take their toll on both of you, and can ultimately bring the relationship down.

Sense of humour

It seems like a bit of a cliché, but a sense of humour is hugely important to lots of people. In fact, SBS did a study of people courting over Facebook and Tinder and found that a sense of humour was ranked as the top trait people were looking for in a potential partner. You spend so much of your life with your significant other and most people want to be with someone who makes them smile and laugh. This is especially true during difficult times when we may need humour to help lift our mood and bring some positivity to the situation.

Positivity

Positivity is hugely important in every aspect of your life. If you are surrounded by negative people, it can be easy for these feelings to be passed on to you and start to affect your emotions in a detrimental way, and this is particularly true if you it’s someone you live with or spend a lot of time with, such as your partner. Instead, people want to date someone with a positive outlook who can try to see the brighter side of things. Of course, there will always be times when this isn’t possible, but as a general rule people want a partner who is a happy and positive person.

Ambition 

Most of us have goals and things we’d like to achieve in life and in our career, and so we often hope to find a partner that also has this drive. It can be very deflating to be with someone who is quite content doing nothing and has no ambition to try new things or reach for their goals, especially if you yourself are a very driven person and you’re always onto your next challenge. This is why ambition has consistently ranked as one of the top traits people look for in a partner.

Kindness

The app Clue ran a study of over 68,000 people across the world and found that kindness was very important in a potential partner, particularly for women. Kindness can be such a valuable trait in a relationship as it involves showing care and love to your partner, as well as doing things to help and support them. But it also extends further than just your relationship, and many people enjoy being with someone who is kind to everyone they meet. This can be the hallmark of a great person and someone who will naturally strive to make you happy.

Loyalty

Being loyal is about more than just being faithful to your partner, it’s about sticking by their side no matter what and standing up for them in times of conflict. It’s about building trust and respect and it shows that you’re dedicated to that person and committed to nurturing your relationship with them.

Academic intelligence

For many people, a certain level of academic intelligence is desirable and someone who is knowledgeable, interesting and smart can be very attractive. This doesn’t have to mean a Nobel Prize winner, but academic intelligence is also important for understanding each other and for finding things in common. It’s this intelligence that allows you to have debates with one another and to find shared interests, leading to stimulating conversations with one another over a shared passion.

Emotional intelligence

You can have all the book-smarts in the world, but if you’re not emotionally available this can cause problems in a relationship. Emotional intelligence is so important because it allows us to empathise with one another and to see things from each other’s perspective.

No one wants a partner who can’t read the mood or who doesn’t know how to help cheer them up when they’re down or support them when they’re going through a tough time. Emotional intelligence doesn’t always mean you have to agree with one another, but it gives you the ability to compromise, to listen to each other and to grow as a couple. This is why so many people consider emotional intelligence important when looking for a partner.

Self-esteem

There’s a popular saying ‘how can you love someone else if you don’t love yourself’. Self-esteem not only affects the way you see yourself but your ability to give yourself to another person and to love them fully. Therefore, it’s not surprising that most people want a partner who is confident and happy with who they are and has high levels of self-esteem.

Conscientiousness

This is an interesting one and not something you may typically associate with desirable traits in a partner, but a study published on Psychology Today found that conscientiousness was a surprising but important aspect people were looking for in a partner. This is because they associated conscientiousness with caring, always being honest and always keeping promises to one another, very important parts of a happy and fulfilling relationship.

At Ignite Dating, we understand the importance of finding the right person for you. Someone who complements your personality and lifestyle. That’s why we spend time getting to know you, so we can use a perfect mixture of Myers Briggs personality profiling, your feedback and our expertise to match you with great potential partners. If you’d like to know more about how we can help you find love, get in touch with our friendly team today.

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Summer Dating in Surrey

Summer Dating in Surrey

Despite being so close to London, Surrey is one of England’s most wooded areas with plenty of beautiful outdoor spaces and countryside to be explored. The perfect mix of quintessentially English villages and vibrant metropolitan hubs, it’s a wonderful place to go on a date any time of year.

And in the warm summer months, Surrey becomes even more beautiful as its lush green spaces fill with flowers, restaurants begin to offer alfresco dining and pub gardens flood with happy guests soaking up the sunshine. So whether you’re a local or you live nearby and you’re looking for the perfect place to have your next date, here are six ideas for summer dates in Surrey.

1. Go for a walk around Virginia Water

Originally a royal pleasure ground, the beautiful lake at Virginia Water can be the ideal location for a romantic day out. The woodland shores and ornamental waterfall add to its majesty, so whether you’re walking the perimeter or simply relaxing and watching the world go by, it can be the perfect place to get to know one another. You could even stop in at the Piccolino La Griglia Restaurant, situated by the lake, for some delicious seasonal food.

2. Dine alfresco at the Thai Terrace

If you love Thai food, but a trip to Thailand seems like a bit of a stretch for your next date, then we’ve got just what you need! On the Palm Terrace, you can enjoy beautiful views, Thai cuisine for lunch or yummy exotic cocktails in the evening as you watch the sunset.

3. Have a picnic at Painshill Park

If you love spending time in nature, the award-winning Painshill Park in Surrey is a wonderful choice for a date. The gardens are 158 acres, so you’re guaranteed to find a nice quiet spot for a picnic, perhaps you could even tuck yourself away amongst the Heritage Collection of North American trees and shrubs. The mystical grounds are full of wildlife so you can spend the whole day exploring, just be sure to stop by the beautiful Serpentine Lake on your way around.

4. Enjoy a drink at the Abinger Hatch

Enjoy a cold drink or a delicious lunch in the Abinger Hatch pub garden. The pub is a beautiful 17th-century building located on Abinger Common and the large garden is complete with an outside kitchen and wood-burning oven, so you know the food is going to be good! Perfect if you want to create a more relaxed date whilst enjoying the sunshine.

5. Get lost at RHS Gardens Wisley

From exotic plants and glasshouses to bonsai tree walks and Japanese-style rock gardens, the gardens at Wisley have it all! Recognised as one of the most beautiful gardens in the world, RHS Wisley is Surrey’s pride and joy and it can make for a very romantic atmosphere surrounded by incredible floral displays and luscious green spaces.

6. Stop by the Weyside

Whether you want a drink in the sunshine or some traditional pub grub, The Weyside pub in Guildford is a great date venue. You can sit in the beautiful garden or up on the decking and choose from a huge range of delicious wines, gins and meals prepared from locally sourced produce.

Planning a memorable date in the Surrey area? It’s much easier to choose the perfect location when you know more about your date. At Ignite Dating, we take our time to get to know you so we can match you with like-minded individuals, so you’re guaranteed to choose a date venue that you’ll both love. Get in touch with our friendly team today.

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Has the Coronavirus changed the dating landscape?

dating during coronavirus lockdown

You’d be forgiven for feeling like we’ve all been transported back in time to the 1940s (or woken up in a Danny Boyle movie). There’s no one out on the streets, there is ongoing uncertainty about what the future holds and people are stressed about rationing their food and supplies. But we do have one thing that they didn’t have back then. Sophisticated technology!

At this stage, it’s fair to say that Coronavirus has affected almost every aspect of our daily lives. The good news is, that each new day brings us one step closer to returning to normality. That said, things won’t return to normal right away and the effects of this global pandemic are likely to be seen for years to come.

As part of this, we’re likely to see a shift in the dating landscape. There’s no denying that dating during the Coronavirus outbreak is a strange concept and many are relying on apps, agencies and virtual dates to help them connect with people. While this shift might not last forever, over the next few years we’re going to see some big changes in the dating world.

More people are looking for love

Our new-found appreciation for companionship means more people are looking for love than ever before. The ongoing lockdown has meant people are stuck at home with lots more time on their hands and in many cases no one to share it with. The result has been a spike in people registering for dating apps, sites and agencies.

These numbers are unlikely to drop just because the virus has gone – people (particularly those who had to isolate alone) will be craving human affection and relationships now more than ever. So it looks like love is going to be on the cards for many people in the coming years, even those who may have previously prioritised work, hobbies or their social life above starting a relationship.

People will take their time to look for a partner

In recent years, our lives have become all about instant gratification, being able to access a world of information at the click of a button or get 100 likes on a photo within the hour. We’re used to results being instant and thanks in no small part to dating apps, the dating world became the same.

Endlessly swiping right or left and receiving instant matches can feel more of a game than a search for love. In this post-virus world, it’s likely that we’ll see people letting go of this need for instant gratification and going back to a more old school approach, taking their time to get to know potential partners and building genuine connections with them until they find the right person.

Virtual dates will continue

Our need to stay connected with loved ones has grown in recent weeks. Can you honestly say that you used to call your parents, friends or partners as often as you do right now? This need to stay connected has led to virtual date nights, pub quizzes and family games nights. As such, it’s likely we’ll see people continuing to use virtual dates as a way of staying connected with their partners on days when they cannot be together in person, even after lockdown has lifted and life has returned to normal.

The way we date will have changed

People may also change the way they date. It’s becoming apparent that places like pubs and restaurants will be some of the last to reopen. This coupled with our new appreciation for the little things in life is likely to see couples choosing alternative dates like going for a walk or bike ride, instead just heading straight out for a drink and dinner date like they may have done in the past.

If this recent pandemic has shown you what’s important in life and you’re ready to find love, we’re here to help. While we can certainly start you on your journey to finding the right partner, we also know it’s important that we listen to Government advice. So while lockdown continues we advise that you don’t try to meet with someone new and instead make the most of technology, virtual dates and services like ours. Get in touch with our friendly team today.

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Tips for dating as a single parent

Dating as a single parent

Dating can be complex no matter what your situation, but dating as a single parent can feel even tougher. Whether it’s because your confidence has taken a nosedive, your children take up most of your time or you’ve been put off by the stigma attached to dating as a single parent, throwing yourself back into the dating world can be a daunting prospect.

With more people now raising their kids alone, the stigma isn’t as bad as it used to be, but many parents often feel guilty about finding a new partner when they have children. Not to mention you may be short on time and worried about having to introduce your children to someone new. 

But we’re here to remind you that you’re only human and you have the right to a love life as much as anyone else. To help you push past your reservations and get the most out of dating, we’ve pulled together some of our top tips for finding love as a single parent. Check them out below.

Make sure you’re ready

First and foremost, you need to be honest with yourself and make sure you’re ready to rejoin the dating world. It’s hard to be happy with someone else if you’re not happy with yourself. This means making sure you’re over your ex and that you’re feeling good about yourself and your situation.

Free yourself of guilt

Remember, you have the right to move on and continue with your life. Don’t feel guilty if your ex isn’t over you just yet and don’t obsess over how your children will take the news. While it is, of course, important that you put your children first, you may find they are fine with everything and just want to see you happy. So before you begin dating make sure you free yourself of any guilt and stigma – and certainly never apologise for dating or for being a single parent.

Be honest

Whether you’re setting up an online dating profile or joining a dating agency, never lie about your situation. Because let’s face it, how long are you really going to get away with it? And then you’ll have to tell your date that you lied and it could potentially cost you a future together. So it’s best to be honest from the start. That way, you’ll be matched with someone who knows the situation and is OK with it.

Be strategic about when they stay over

As your relationship progresses it’s only natural you’ll want your partner to stay over. If you’re a co-parent it might be better to time this so the children are away. Alternatively, ask a good friend or your family to babysit and have the kids overnight. This way you can keep things discreet in case the relationship doesn’t work out, or at least until you’re ready to tell your kids.

Decide when to tell your children

Timing is everything and you need to make sure you tell your children when the time is right. Don’t rush into it. If they’re younger they may not really be aware of what is happening. Alternatively, older kids may be more intuitive and accepting of the fact you’re dating, but either way don’t rush into introducing them to a new partner.

It’s also important to make sure you and your new partner are on the same page. It’s not only important that you’re ready for them to meet your children, but they need to be ready too.

Dating as a single parent can feel like a daunting prospect, but done right it can be such a rewarding experience and you could come out the other side with an exciting new relationship. It’s important to be honest about your situation if you hope to meet the right person. Here at Ignite Dating, we work hard to match couples who are well suited to one another’s lifestyles – kids and all! So if you’d like to know more about how we can help you rejoin the dating world, get in touch with our friendly team today.

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7 Virtual Date Ideas and the Apps That Can Bring You Together

Tips for Dating during Coronavirus

With the UK on lockdown for the foreseeable future, technology and apps are playing a huge part in keeping us all connected to one another and providing us with a new wave of virtual date ideas. In fact, you may have found that you’re actually talking to friends and family more now than you ever have before! This could be due to the fact that many of us now have a lot more free time on our hands and are trying to stave off boredom and insanity while confined to our homes!

You’ve probably seen the videos that are popping up all over the Internet of funny and creative ways people are staying in touch, having fun at home and making the most of technology to stay connected. And despite these troubling times, we’re lucky enough to have this technology at our disposal to allow us to keep some degree of normality in our lives. People are able to work from home, children can continue their schoolwork and most importantly, we can retain some sort of social life despite not being able to see our friends or partners in person.

So whether you’re planning a first date or you’re in a new relationship, there are still so many ways you can have fun together and keep in touch despite being on lockdown. Below are seven virtual date ideas and the apps that can help bring you closer together. So next date night, why not consider trying one of these?

Having a games night over House Party

The House Party app has blown up since the UK went into lockdown, with people across the country using the video chat to hang out with their friends, virtually. So why not choose this platform for your date? Not only can you see and talk to one another, but the app also allows you to play games with each other. These include the app’s own version of trivia quizzes, Pictionary and charades. 

Getting to know one another on WhatsApp

Video chat might not be your first choice of date if you’ve not met before. Weirdly, it can sometimes feel more embarrassing to connect with someone via video link than in person (usually because we look a little different on a grainy camera and we never like hearing our own voice!). But this doesn’t mean you still can’t get to know your date.

Choose an evening and make sure you put some time aside when you’re not distracted with work, TV or anything else. Chat to each other via text or WhatsApp and get to know a bit more about one another. This will give you a chance to determine whether they are a good match for you.

WhatsApp is also great for connecting with your date periodically throughout the day – just don’t fall into the trap of worrying over when they were last online and if they’ve read your message. Remember, some people are continuing to work despite being at home and others have families to take care of.

Watch a movie using Netflix Party

Does your favourite date night include going to the cinema or getting cosy on the sofa and watching a movie? Well, you still can, thanks to Netflix Party. You can watch the same movie at the same time from different locations and there’s even a messaging option which allows you to discuss the film with one another (of course, you can always keep each other on the phone while watching too!). A great way of watching a movie together, even when you’re not and one of many virtual date ideas.

Cook together over Skype

Do you love sharing a meal with your partner? Whether that’s attending a cooking class, going out for dinner or cooking a romantic meal at home. The great news is that you don’t have to stop just because restaurants are closed. Why not log onto Skype and join each other as you prepare your dinner and eat it together through video chat. You might want to choose the same meal to make it feel even more authentic, but even if you don’t, having the camera set up on your kitchen table while you chat and cook can make it feel like your date is right there in the room with you.

Team up for a virtual pub quiz on Google Hangouts

As a nation, we love the pub and we also love a good pub quiz. Trivia and drinking has been a date night favourite for years and the internet is refusing to let the lockdown change that. If you love a pub quiz, there are plenty of providers and groups out there that are putting these together and hosting their quizzes on Google Hangouts, for others to enjoy. You and your date could team up (communicating via your phones) or play separately (but on the same quiz).

You might even find that your local pub is hosting their regular quiz night but now online, or that one of you has a friend who has chosen to organise the event themselves. There is plenty of quizzing going on across the nation right now, making this a great option for your virtual date.

Take an exercise class together using Zoom

Are you and your date gym buffs? If you love nothing more than to workout and enjoy an exercise class, this could make for a fun date idea – even when you can’t go to an actual class. Many personal trainers and gym owners have taken their business online since gyms were forced to close to promote social distancing. Using platforms like Zoom, they are able to connect participants from across the country via a video link, where you can all take part in the workout as instructed by your PT.

Zoom allows for multiple participants to join (as many as 100 in some cases), so you and your date can join the same class and you’ll be able to see each other as you take part.

Go for a walk and chat over a phone call or FaceTime

For many of us, going out for our daily walk and getting some fresh air is the highlight of our day, so why not share this with your date? You could simply put some headphones in and give them a call, or you might even want to video call them so they can see where you are and you can feel more like they’re there in person. FaceTime is a great app for video chats as it provides a good, clear connection so you won’t lose each other mid-way through your conversation.

Be sure to choose somewhere quiet and local to take your walk, like your local park. Just be careful to choose a spot that isn’t too crowded and be sure to practise social distancing wherever you go.

We completely support the government’s guidelines on COVID-19 and social distancing. However, just because the country is on lockdown, it doesn’t mean life has to come to a complete standstill. At Ignite Dating, we believe it’s possible to continue meeting new people and forging meaningful relationships, even though you can’t be together in person right now. Using some of our virtual date ideas, you and your love interest can set aside some time each week to get to know one another and have some fun. Don’t let lockdown stop you from finding love. Dating apps and agencies have never been more popular as people look for comfort and connectionsm so now could be the ideal time to join. Get in touch with our friendly team today.

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Tips for dating during the Coronavirus

Dating tips during Corona Virus

The recent lockdown means people have A LOT more time on their hands and not being able to go out and socialise in person has forced thousands to find comfort in their smartphones. And guess what? Dating agencies and apps have seen a huge influx in people looking for love and companionship during these strange times.

Of course, if you have recently begun dating someone or you do find a good match during isolation, you won’t be able to go out and meet in person for a while. But you will have plenty of time at home to get to know one another – virtually. So why not throw it back to the days when you’d spend hours talking on the phone and really get to know one another before starting a relationship.

If, like all of us, you’re just trying to make it through this difficult time as safely and sanely as possible, whilst trying to hold onto something that resembles a normal life, here’s how to keep dating during the Coronavirus pandemic.

1. Make the most of the Internet

Let’s face it, nowadays not many people start relationships by approaching one another in the street. We rely on dating sites, apps and agencies to help us juggle our busy lives with finding the right partner. But for most of us, our busy lives have now been taken away and we’re confined to our living rooms for the foreseeable future. So it’s the perfect time to jump on the internet and get yourself signed up for a dating agency, and perhaps even download some apps on your phone.

2. Talk the night away

Whether you choose to spend your nights texting one another, or you decide to brave it and go for a phone call, being stuck inside and miles apart doesn’t have to stop you from getting to know one another. You could even set a dedicated day and time for your phone date to make it feel more like an actual date.

3. Video apps have never been more popular

Whether this is someone you’ve met before or a new connection, there are video apps popping up from everywhere right now, making it easier for people to see each other from the safety of their own homes. Apps like House Party or FaceTime allow you to video chat with one another and after a while, it really begins to feel like they’re right there in the room with you. Again, you could set aside a dedicated time for your video date, perhaps even sit and have dinner or drink with one another through video.

This is a trying time, but technology has made it possible for us to still connect with one another despite being so far away. In fact, you might find that through this experience you actually talk more with your date than you normally would and really build a great connection before you’re finally able to meet in person again.

At Ignite Dating, we understand that dating is an important part of our social lives, but it’s also important that we listen to Government advice. During this period of uncertainty, it’s vital that you don’t try and meet up with someone new. Instead, make the most of modern technology and services like ours and by the time lockdown is over, you’ll be even more excited to meet one another face-to-face. Get in touch with our friendly team today.

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Dating after 40 – The 8 mistakes you need to avoid

Dating after 40 tips and mistakes

We’ve all been there, you’re getting ready for a first date or you’re discussing a new match with your friends and you’re going over and over that list in your mind.

There’s no denying that dating after 40 is a different experience. You’re not as young and carefree as you were in your 20s, you may well have gathered some baggage in your 30s and the dating world is a different place than it once was. Not to mention, if you’ve been single for a while you’ll probably be receiving dating advice from every Tom, Dick or Sally that stumbles across your relationship status. But at the end of the day, who knows you better than you?!

And the good news is, you’re not alone! So don’t feel pressured to jump back in just because your mum’s neighbour, Janet, has decided you’re running out of time and the dating pool is getting thin. Janet is wrong. In fact, some people find dating after 40 to be a very rewarding experience and it is at this age that many people meet their soulmate.

So if you’re currently looking for love but you’re feeling overwhelmed by the number of dating apps, the complexity of online profiles and the endless dating horror stories you’ve heard from your single friends; don’t give up yet.

That said, there are some common pitfalls that many over 40s fall into when trying to get back into the swing of dating. In this guide, we’ll talk you through some of the most common mistakes you need to avoid when dating after 40, so you can enjoy a better dating experience and find love. Check them out below.

1. Rushing to get back in

Making the decision to start dating again is a big one, but this doesn’t mean you have to throw yourself in headlong and arrange a date within the week. Finding love is not something you want to rush. So take your time, find a dating agency or site that’s going to work for you and ease yourself back in, or you could find yourself becoming over (or even under) whelmed by the dating world.

2. Being unwilling to try new things

Last time you were on the scene, dating might have been more traditional; meeting at a bar before being wined and dined and walked back to your front door. But times have changed and the dating world has changed, so don’t be afraid to try new things. For example, if a potential partner suggests something like Junkyard Golf or a night at the aquarium, don’t turn them down assuming they’re a bit ‘quirky’. Instead, keep an open mind and try new things. These fun and unique dates can be great ice breakers and a perfect way to find out more about someone than simply chatting over dinner.

3. Lying about who you are

If you are going to be creating online profiles, the temptation can be to tell a few white lies. Perhaps use an outdated photo of yourself or leave off some pretty important information from your profile. But this can backfire badly. If you aren’t honest, how can you expect to make a genuine connection with someone and find a partner who has similar ambitions and goals to you? So if you’re going to use sites that require you to build a profile, just make sure you’re always truthful about who you are.  

4. Not keeping an open mind

When you’re 21 and your whole life is ahead of you it’s easy to dream up your ideal mate. But over time you come to realise that everyone has their quirks and there’s no sense being with someone if you want to change big parts of their personality. So it’s important to keep an open mind when meeting new people, don’t get stuck on your ‘shopping list’ of what makes a perfect partner, otherwise you set your expectations too high and more often than not, will be left feeling disappointed.

5. Going for someone exactly like your ex

When you’re dating after 40 it’s likely that you’ll have had a serious relationship (or two) in the past. You may have even been married before. But there’s always a reason why your ex is, well, your ex! And you don’t want to fall into the same trap this time around. So if you begin to notice a new love interest is displaying similar behaviour to a previous partner, it might be time to call it off before history repeats itself.

6. Relying on dating apps

Literally millions of people across the globe are using dating apps, which is great for creating a huge dating pool. The problem is, a lot of the people that use these apps aren’t always honest about who they are or what they want. Not only this but with hundreds of suitors at your fingertips, it becomes harder to make any real, meaningful connections. Not to mention they could be speaking with 10 other people at the same time as they’re chatting to you.

So while dating apps do work for some people and couples have been known to fall in love, get married and start families as a result, these apps have also led to a string of unsuccessful dating horror stories. And while these tend to be a favourite amongst the younger generation, if you’re dating after 40 you might want to consider all options before pinning all your hopes on a swipe.

7. Not knowing what you want

Before you begin dating again, it’s important that you know what you want from a partner and your future. This doesn’t have to be set in stone and you should definitely be flexible, but it’s a good place to start. Especially as some things in life can be non-negotiable. For example, have you got children or do you want to find someone who has children? Are you looking for someone who might want to get married someday or are you looking for someone who just wants fun? With this in mind, it’s important that you have some idea of what you’re looking for before you begin the search.

8. Taking it too seriously

We’re not suggesting that you throw all caution to the wind, meet up with a string of potential partners and party like it’s 1999. We understand that after 40 your priorities change. Perhaps you’ve got children, perhaps you’re hoping to find someone who still wants children, perhaps you’re divorced. Whatever the case, we know you’re not the same person you were 20 years ago.

That said, you’ve got to try not to take dating too seriously in the early stages. Otherwise, you could find yourself becoming too attached, feeling disappointed or feeling like there’s no one out there for you. This simply isn’t true, but sometimes it takes a while to find the right person. So as we’ve already said, be open-minded, prepared to try new things and don’t take it too seriously. Remember, dating should be fun!!

At Ignite Dating, we appreciate that age is just a number and that dating after 40 can be just as exciting as in your 20s. Our matchmakers will work closely with you to get a real understanding of what you’re looking for in a partner so we can ensure you meet with like-minded individuals and those you share similar interests and aspirations with. Get in touch with our friendly team today.

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Why it’s important to be open-minded about dating

open minded dating

We’ve all been there, you’re getting ready for a first date or you’re discussing a new match with your friends and you’re going over and over that list in your mind.

What if they’re not tall enough?

What if they’re not very sporty?

What if they don’t earn as much as me?

What if they don’t like to read books?

What if they’re really into football?

Well, when you find yourself stuck in this train of thought and you begin going through your laundry list of ‘what ifs’ in your head, we challenge you to answer your own questions with – so what?!

It’s time to be realistic

From a young age we begin painting a fairytale picture of our ideal mate in our heads, over the years we add or tweak their personality a little to match our own, but the new version rarely strays far from the original.

And of course, we all have ‘types’ and certain things that we find attractive in a partner, but if you’re not willing to budge even slightly from the Prince Charming or Cinderella you’ve created in your mind, then I’m sorry to say you might be disappointed.

It’s a fact of life that not everyone can live up to our expectations, especially if you’ve set the bar pretty high! So when you’re dating it’s important that you meet every potential partner with an open mind.

And no, we’re not saying you should compromise on the important aspects of a relationship. Of course you need to find your partner attractive and share the same dreams, but what we’re saying is don’t turn someone down because they don’t conform to your usual ‘shopping list’.

Find someone who isn’t your typical ‘type’

If you’ve been chasing the same ‘type’ of person for years now without being particularly lucky in love, this should be a sign that perhaps you need to update your dating profile. And no, we don’t mean the one you have on Tinder, we mean how you profile others and what you’re looking for in a partner.

By being more flexible and open-minded while dating, or perhaps even steering clear of your typical ‘type’ altogether (if you’ve had nothing but a string of toxic relationships), could be the key to finding love.

Life is not a list – but it is too short!

If there’s one thing you should take away from this article today, it’s that life is not a tick-list, not everything goes to plan and sometimes we have to grow and adapt. And this is how you should approach the dating world. Life is too short to spend it lonely and looking for the ‘perfect’ partner.

Because let’s face it, no one is perfect and that’s what makes us all unique! So next time you look at someone’s profile or you’re told ‘Sam is great but…’ be a bit more open-minded. Decide whether these things are deal-breakers. And if they’re not, then meet with them and do it with an open mind. You might even find something you never knew you were looking for!

At Ignite Dating, we use a mixture of Myers Briggs personality profiling, intuition and our expertise to match you with potential partners. Using this system we’ll find individuals that we believe will complement your lifestyle – even if they’re not your typical ‘type’. If you’d like to know more about our services or if you’d like to join Ignite, get in touch with our friendly team today.

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Perfect first date venues in London

best first date venues london

Online dating can be an easy way to meet potential partners and with an estimated 91 million people worldwide using dating sites and apps, you certainly won’t be stuck for choice of potential suitors. But as with everything online, this type of dating doesn’t come without its risks and the problems of online dating continue to affect thousands of unsuspecting users.

There are 9.3 million people in London and you just want to meet one great person to share your life with – is that so hard to ask?! Of course, you can always download the latest app or attend one of the hundreds of speed dating events that take place across the city every week, but how much can you really get to know about someone in five minutes?

The truth is, once you’ve found someone whose lifestyle complements yours or who shares similar passions and ambitions to you, you want to take your time to really get to know them – and London is the ideal place to do that! As well as offering a huge range of memorable date ideas there are also so many great places to wine and dine if you want to go for a traditional dinner date. 

In fact, did you know that it is estimated that there are over 39,300 places to eat in London? There’s pretty much nothing you can’t find in this great city if you really look for it (including a partner). So if you’ve got a big date coming up, we’re here to help you narrow it down. We’ve chosen six of our favourite first date venues in London, which we think is pretty impressive given there’s more than 39,300 to choose from!

1. Dishoom

There are currently five Dishoom restaurants across Central London, from Shoreditch to Kensington, so you’ll be able to find the location that best suits both of you. This delicious Indian food is a firm favourite of many Londoners and has been described by its founders as a ‘loving homage to the Irani cafés that were once part of the fabric of life in Bombay’. Perfect if you love authentic Indian food – and who doesn’t!

2. Pont De La Tour

If French cuisine is more your style, look no further than Le Pont de la Tour. Not only is the menu made up of traditional yet innovative French dishes, but you can enjoy a romantic evening overlooking the River Thames as you dine. A little pricey, but a great experience.

3. Madison

If you’re looking for a more lively venue, the Madison boasts incredible views of the London skyline, a real Manhattan style restaurant and a vibrant rooftop terrace and bar. Here you can expect an evening of great food, signature cocktails and music from in-house DJs or acoustic acts, all on eye level with the dome of St Paul’s. 

4. OXO

Located on the eighth floor of London’s iconic OXO Tower perches the tower restaurant, bar and brasserie. This is the ideal first date venue in London if you’re looking for something refined and elegant but not too formal. The menu offers the best of British fine dining, while the bar offers a range of fabulous cocktails for after-dinner drinks.

5. Clos Maggiore

If you want to escape the hustle and bustle of the city, Clos Maggiore is the first date venue for you. Described as ‘an oasis of calm in the heart of Covent Garden’ and possibly the world’s most romantic restaurant, Head Chef Marcellin Marc creates dishes inspired by his love of Provence and Tuscany, using only the freshest, locally sourced ingredients.

6. Anywhere in the Shard!

OK, this is cheating a bit because there are six restaurants and bars to choose from in the Shard and we couldn’t pick just one! But whether you’re looking for fine dining or just drinks with a view, you can’t go wrong anywhere in this magnificent building.

If you’re considering joining a dating agency in London, Ignite could help! We know that city life is busy, so we can take some of the hard work out of dating by finding you great matches with hand selected individuals. If you want to know more about our services getting in touch today.

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5 of the biggest problems with online dating

problem with online dating

Online dating can be an easy way to meet potential partners and with an estimated 91 million people worldwide using dating sites and apps, you certainly won’t be stuck for choice of potential suitors. But as with everything online, this type of dating doesn’t come without its risks and the problems of online dating continue to affect thousands of unsuspecting users.

In fact, an extensive report from Kaspersky found that a staggering 55% of people who have tried online dating have experienced some form of threat or problem, ranging from a security incident to meeting with someone who lied about their identity. You may have even fallen victim to an online dating scam yourself.

Below we outline five of the biggest problems with online dating and how to spot the signs

1. Scammers prey on vulnerable individuals

Sadly, there will always be scammers and fraudsters out there looking to exploit trusting, vulnerable individuals who are just looking for love. These might be people hoping to steal your identity, extract money from you or gain access to your personal, sensitive information.

This can be done through a range of tactics but a common one is asking seemingly harmless questions to gather as much information about you as possible. In fact, the same study found that over one in 8 (13%) of those who use dating sites have been tricked into sharing sensitive information with a fraudster.

Remember, if you’re talking to someone genuine they should never ask you to part with your money or give away any sensitive information like your address or bank details. So be careful not to share too much and sadly, if someone seems too good to be true, it’s probably because they are.

2. People lie

A whopping 57% of people that use online dating sites confess to lying on their profiles. This can range from white lies like adding a few inches to their height, to lying about their marital status, name or even who they are altogether.

This is one of the biggest problems with online dating. Anyone can create a profile and say whatever they want about themselves – true or not! This has become known as ‘catfishing’ – the practice of creating fake online personas to trick people into forming romantic relationships.

3. Hackers can access your information

Those that use dating websites are twice as likely (41% compared to 20%) to fall victim to a cybersecurity incident than those who don’t. This is because cybercriminals can use the apps to gain access to their devices or to infect their devices with viruses. This can lead to them accessing or tampering with sensitive, personal information stored within – for example, accessing bank details or your home address through a smartphone

4. You could be putting yourself in danger

It’s a sad reality that there will always be unsavoury people out there and some of them choose to use online dating as a way to prey on unsuspecting individuals. This means when setting a date with a stranger you met online, you could be meeting quite literally anyone and you could be placing yourself in real danger.

If you choose to meet with someone you found on an online dating site, be sure to always meet in a public place and think about taking someone with you in the first instance to ensure your date is who they say they are.

5. Dating scams can be extremely costly

The BBC revealed that scams rose by over 64% in 2019. In fact, between January and June of last year, as much as £7.9 million was lost to dating scams, with only £500,000 of that being returned to the victims.

These staggering figures show the extent of online dating fraud and sadly, while we all like to think we’re sensible, criminals are always finding new ways to steal money from unsuspecting individuals. This could be by asking for money to sign up to their dating site, or perhaps users of the dating site who you’ve formed a relationship with then asking for money for a visa or as insurance on a date.

Whatever the scam, it’s clear that many people are still losing out to these callous schemes.

The alternative: Choose dating agencies instead

If you’re looking for a partner but you want a safer way to do it, dating agencies can be the perfect answer. They will ensure potential suitors have been properly checked and verified to make sure they are who they say they are. Plus, dating agencies don’t require extensive profiles full of your personal information and they reduce the likelihood of you falling victim to a security breach or scam.

At Ignite Dating, we offer a safe environment for you to meet single, like-minded people. Our service is confidential, offering complete discretion and there’s no need for you to create an online profile. If you want to avoid the perils of online dating, find out how we can help by getting in touch