Month: May 2025

When it comes to dating and finding the right partner, we all bring a little life baggage with us; it’s hard not to! But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. 

This ‘baggage’ as it’s often referred to is usually a reflection of our attachment style. This is something that is shaped early on in our lives through the relationships we have with parents and caregivers and, eventually, with past partners.  

Your attachment style will also play a big role in the way you date and connect with future partners, and understanding this can be a game-changer for your love life.

There are four main attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant and fearful-avoidant (disorganised). Each of these influences how we relate, communicate and cope with intimacy and independence when dating. 

So, which one are you?

1. Secure attachment style

Secure attachment is generally considered the ideal baseline, as these types of people generally feel comfortable with intimacy and autonomy. Not only this, but they communicate openly, set healthy boundaries and trust their partners. 

Those with a secure attachment style are more likely to approach relationships with balance and resilience. If this sounds like you, great! And if you’re dating someone with this style too, then you’ve struck gold as they tend to create stable, satisfying relationships.

Who they match with: Almost everyone will match with a secure style, but especially other secure partners. This is because they can help regulate the emotional responses of anxious or avoidant partners and support them to make them feel safe in the relationship, though this can be draining for the secure individual over time.

2. Anxious attachment style

Individuals with an anxious attachment style may long for closeness but fear abandonment; this can cause them to seek regular reassurance from a partner. They might worry about their partner’s feelings or need validation to feel secure, and this can sometimes come off as clingy or overly sensitive to the wrong person. 

Their key dating challenges: Those with an anxious attachment style often pair with avoidantly attached partners (which we’ll look at in more detail in a moment). This can cause an emotional tug-of-war that can ultimately lead to frustration and confusion. The anxious person wants more connection, while the avoidant partner pulls away, reinforcing both their insecurities.

Best match based on attachment style: If you recognise the patterns above, a secure partner is the best match for you. They can provide consistent reassurance and emotional presence that helps you soothe this anxiety.

3. Avoidant attachment style

Those with an avoidant attachment style typically value their independence and may find it hard to get emotionally close to someone else. For this reason, they often suppress or dismiss their feelings and may even pull back when relationships become too intimate or intense.

Their key dating challenges: This attachment style can lead individuals to unintentionally push their partners away, especially if they’re dating someone with an anxious style. Their need for space and independence can be mistaken for disinterest or rejection by potential partners.

Best match based on attachment style: If this is your style, your best match will be someone with a secure attachment style who respects your need for space and gently encourages you to be more vulnerable. Another avoidant might create a relationship lacking in intimacy, while anxious types may feel constantly rejected by your independence. 

4. Fearful-avoidant attachment style 

Finally, we have the fearful-avoidant and this style is a mix of both anxious and avoidant traits. People with this attachment style may really want intimacy but fear it at the same time; it’s often a catch-22. These individuals usually have a history of trauma or inconsistent caregiving that has led to emotional confusion and internal conflict when it comes to relationships.

Their key dating challenges: The trouble is that relationships with those who are fearful-avoidant can be intense, chaotic and unpredictable. They may attract partners with similar trauma patterns, and this can lead to very volatile relationships. 

Best match based on attachment style: If you’ve got this attachment style, you might face a series of challenges when dating. But with therapy and self-awareness, you can find harmony with a secure partner who offers both patience and structure.

So, how do you find someone who matches your needs? 

If you’re looking for love, self-awareness is the first step. Carefully read through the above descriptions of the four main attachment styles, reflect on past relationships and even talk to a dating coach to better understand your style. 

Once you understand your default patterns and how you behave in relationships (and why), you can make more conscious choices when dating. Some other tips for finding love, include: 

• Seeking someone who communicates openly, respects boundaries and makes you feel safe
• Communicating your needs clearly. No matter your style, honest communication can bridge the gaps
• Letting new or potential partners know what makes you feel loved and supported, and asking the same in return
• Avoiding ‘fixer-uppers’, especially if you have an anxious attachment style. If you already feel like you have to change things about them, they are not right for you
• Focussing on people who show up consistently and are emotionally responsive
• Putting in the work to be mindful and self-compassionate. This can help you to shift your attachment style and work on yourself so you can go into a new relationship as the best version of yourself 

Dating isn’t just about chemistry; it’s also about compatibility. When you have a deeper understanding of your attachment style, you can date with intention. 

So, if you’re hoping to find love this year, the team at Ignite Dating can help. Armed with information on your dating style and the type of partner you’re looking for, our team of expert matchmakers and Science Based Coaches can make your dreams a reality.

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Long, sunny days, warm weather, alfresco dining and positive energy means that summer often brings with it a surge in dating activity. Everyone is happier and more relaxed,  encouraging new connections and fun outdoor date ideas. 

The trouble is, if you get too swept away in this excitement and a renewed sense of optimism, it’s all too easy to fall into patterns of casual or aimless dating. 

So, in order to make the most of your summer dating experiences, we suggest you embrace intentional dating. This mindful approach to your love life prioritises clarity, authenticity and meaningful connections. 

Understanding the idea behind intentional dating 

This may be a new concept to you or you may have given this some thought in the past when looking for love, but intentional dating involves approaching your love life with a clear understanding of your goals and values. 

Although that might sound more like a business strategy than a romantic journey, this method is all about forming meaningful relationships by dating with purpose and clarity. 

In doing so, you can encourage honesty and clear communication about who you are and your relationship goals. And let’s face it, this is key to finding the right person, rather than wasting your time on poor matches that never go past the second date. 

Steps for dating more intentionally

If you’ve never really considered how to be more intentional in your dating decisions (or you have, but you’ve never been very good at putting this into practice), here are some important steps you can take this summer. 

1. Clarify your dating goals

It’s important that you take some time to reflect on what you truly want from dating. For example, are you seeking a long-term relationship, companionship or simply exploring connections to see where they go? 

You might also want to create a list describing your ideal partner, including the aspects that are non-negotiable and any personality traits and values you desire. This can help you understand what you want from a partner and your love life, so you can set clear intentions. ​​

2. Always be authentic

Authenticity is the key to forming genuine connections, being true to your values and expressing your genuine interests. This allows potential partners to see the real you, and this can help when building deeper and more meaningful relationships.

So, always make sure you are honest and communicative about what you want from a potential partnership. Sure, you don’t have to put a label on your relationship right away, but it’s best to be open and honest as early as possible. 

This also goes for establishing personal boundaries. By setting and communicating your boundaries clearly, you can ensure that your dating experience is comfortable and meets your expectations. This practice promotes mutual respect and prevents misunderstanding. ​

3. Engage in shared experiences

Choose dates that involve shared activities you’ll both love, such as cooking classes, hiking or attending concerts, depending on what your hobbies are. 

It’s these experiences that can foster deeper connections and provide insight into your compatibility, rather than simply settling on a traditional dinner date every time. Unless food is a shared passion of yours, in which case, why not try out a new restaurant or street food pop-up or maybe a cookery lesson together?

4. Practice mindful communication

We get it; everyone loves their phone, and we’re all guilty of taking a quick look at the screen to see if we’ve had any messages, but making sure you are fully present and attentive during your interactions allows for more meaningful conversations. 

Active listening and thoughtful responses can enhance your connection and make sure you get a real picture of who your date is and whether they’re a good match. ​

This applies to digital conversations, too. If you’re messaging after your date or when you’re apart, read their messages carefully and put some thought into your responses. 

5. Reflect and adjust

After every date, whether it’s your first or fifth, take some time to reflect on what went well and what could be improved. 

This doesn’t mean you have to give them notes, but this self-awareness helps you make informed decisions moving forward and ensures that your dating practices remain aligned with your intentions.

Embrace intentional dating this summer 

By adopting an intentional approach to dating this summer, you can create more fulfilling and meaningful relationships. 

Though this method encourages self-awareness, clear communication, and purposeful interactions, remember that it’s not about rigid rules. It’s about being mindful and aligning your dating practices with your personal values and goals. 

Do this, and you’ll open the door to deeper connections and a more rewarding romantic life. 

If this sounds great, but you’re not even sure how to start meeting the right potential partners, we can help. Our talented team of matchmakers will get to know you and understand your values and what you’re looking for in a partner. To kickstart your intentional dating journey, get in touch today.

Since the early 2010s, dating apps have promised convenience, efficiency and a seemingly endless list of singles right at your fingertips. So, it’s easy to see why these apps became so popular. Algorithms, powered by data science and machine learning, claim they can predict what you want and help you find love by analysing your preferences, behaviours and swiping patterns. 

Yet, despite this sharp rise in digital matchmaking, an interesting trend has begun to emerge: more and more successful, high-achieving individuals are ditching dating apps and leaning toward human-led matchmaking services instead. And we’re going to look at why this is happening.

Time is their most valuable asset

For CEOs, entrepreneurs, executives and other high performers, time is the most precious commodity and finding the right partner isn’t a game of numbers; it’s a strategic, highly personal investment. 

The endless swiping, small talk and dead-end dates that come with app-based dating are not only frustrating and exhausting but highly inefficient.

When your time is valuable, the idea of outsourcing your love life to a trusted expert can be an essential investment. Human matchmakers can instantly streamline this process by carefully assessing potential matches, ensuring that every introduction has real potential. 

That way, instead of wasting hours on dates that go nowhere, successful individuals can trust that each meeting is carefully thought out based on true compatibility, not just shared hobbies or surface-level attraction. 

They expect a higher standard

It’s no secret that high achievers are more inclined to demand excellence in all areas of their lives, from business to fitness to personal development. So, why should their love life be any different?

Dating apps are designed to cater to the masses, which means they offer a broader selection of potential partners, without too much filtering in terms of quality, ambition or emotional intelligence. 

Successful people don’t want to settle for “good enough”, and nor should they! They want someone exceptional; a partner who understands their lifestyle, supports their ambitions and shares their drive. 

Human-led matchmaking understands these needs and works hard to seek out individuals who can truly complement their high-performance lifestyle. Expert matchmakers will also tailor their searches to align with a client’s standards, values and vision for the future.

Privacy and discretion are crucial 

For many high-profile individuals, maintaining privacy and discretion is non-negotiable. Dating apps, even the more exclusive ones, carry risks. For example, leaked screenshots, public profiles, and the possibility of unwanted exposure can all be problems depending on the nature of their career or lifestyle. 

Human-led matchmaking offers a far more discreet, confidential alternative. Matches are introduced privately, with both parties having been carefully vetted when signing up for their chosen service. 

This also means no public profiles. No random strangers scrolling through your personal information or dropping you an unwanted message. Just meaningful introductions handled in a professional and respectful way. 

And for people who need to protect their privacy, whether it’s a public image, a company or personal security, this level of discretion is invaluable.

They want a personalised experience

Dating apps operate purely on algorithms, whereas matchmakers operate on intuition, experience and deep personal understanding.

Successful individuals are used to working with experts, whether that’s a personal trainer or career coach, and they want someone who provides a bespoke service tailored to their specific goals. 

Human matchmakers fit into this framework perfectly. They offer personalised support, strategic advice, and emotional guidance that no other app could ever offer. 

From in-depth consultations to pre- and post-date feedback sessions, matchmaking is a concierge-level service. It treats finding love as a meaningful and intentional process that must be handled with care, not just a casual pastime. 

Choosing human-led matchmaking on your dating journey 

On paper, two people might seem like a perfect match, but human-led matchmaking goes far beyond checklists, instead focussing on character, values, emotional intelligence and more. 

Matchmakers understand that success in love, much like success in business, depends on compatibility at a deeper level.

Ultimately, the choice to work with a human matchmaker rather than relying on saturated dating apps reflects a deeper desire: the pursuit of meaningful connections. 

So, if you’re looking for love this year, get in touch with our team of expert matchmakers today and take the next exciting step on your dating journey.

Dating should be fun, right? It should be full of potential, excitement, connection and butterflies in your stomach, yet for some people, it’s not quite that simple. 

If the thought of meeting someone new sends your stomach into knots or if you find yourself obsessing over what to wear, what to say, their text messages, and generally over-analysing every interaction, you might be dealing with dating anxiety.

The good news is you’re not alone, and more importantly, you can do something about it.

What is dating anxiety?

Dating anxiety is more than just those usual first-date jitters. It’s a persistent fear or worry tied to romantic relationships. This might manifest as avoidance, chronic overthinking, or self-sabotage. 

These patterns can become deeply ingrained in our minds. 

But here’s the empowering truth: your brain is not set in stone and it does have the ability to rewire itself. This means you can change how you think, feel and act when it comes to dating and starting relationships. 

Why do we get anxious in love?

Much of dating anxiety stems from your past experiences, attachment patterns and core beliefs about your self-worth. 

For example, if you’ve been rejected, ghosted or hurt before, your brain remembers those negative feelings. It goes into self-protection mode, interpreting even minor dating setbacks as potential future threats.

Over time, your mind forms shortcuts, such as opening up = pain, or love = risk. These mental patterns, while meant to shield you, can actually block you from making genuine connections.

How to rewire your brain for relationship success

Unfortunately, rewiring your brain isn’t as simple as flipping a switch and feeling better about the dating world. It’s about practising new thought processes, feelings and actions over time, consistently enough that they become your new normal. Here’s how to get started:

1. Challenge your inner narratives

You need to start by noticing the story your brain is telling you about dating. It may be saying: 

• “I’m not attractive enough for them”
• “If I open up, they’ll think I’m too keen”
• “Everyone leaves me”
• “They’ll get bored of me eventually” 

If this feels familiar, then it’s important to write these thoughts down. Then, gently challenge them. Ask yourself: Is this true? Where did I learn this feeling? Could there be another perspective? 

This cognitive reframing helps weaken the old wiring in your brain and creates space for healthier thoughts and beliefs.

2. Practice mindfulness when dating

When you’re anxious, your brain loves to live in the what-ifs: what if they don’t like me? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I get rejected?

Practising mindfulness helps to bring you back to the present. It grounds your nervous system and helps override the anxiety loop. To do this, you might try: 

• Taking five deep breaths before a date 
• Tuning into your body, thinking about how your feet feel on the floor, what you can hear, what you can smell, etc. 
• Focusing on the moment, not the outcome. Remember, you’re not auditioning to be a partner; you’re simply just connecting and getting to know one another.

3. Create positive dating experiences

Your brain learns best through experience, so the best way to beat old patterns is to give it new ones to focus on. 

You can start small. Go on low-pressure dates, talk to people with curiosity, not expectation. When something goes well, even if it’s just a fun conversation with a stranger, take a moment to reflect on it. 

This can help, as your brain needs evidence that dating can be safe and rewarding. Over time, these small wins help to rewrite your internal script from “dating is scary” to “Dating is fun, and I can do this.”

4. Detach from outcomes

Dating anxiety often stems from trying to control things you can’t, like how the other person feels. So, instead, you need to focus on what you can control, like showing up authentically, being kind and honouring your boundaries. 

Remind yourself of this: a date’s purpose isn’t to find ‘The One’ instantly. It’s to explore compatibility. If it doesn’t work out, it’s not a failure; it’s data. You can use this to understand yourself better.

5. Get support if you need it

Finally, if dating anxiety is deeply affecting your life and you’re struggling to manage this on your own, you can seek professional help. 

Talking to a therapist can be incredibly helpful and can help you overcome your anxieties. Therapy provides a safe space to explore your patterns, heal old wounds and build new emotional tools for connection.

Alternatively, if you just need a little extra guidance on your dating journey, like finding potential partners who are a better match for you, an expert matchmaker could be all the support you need. Get in touch today to find out how our talented team can help.