Category: Uncategorized

‘Throning’ is the latest buzzword being thrown (no pun intended) around the dating scene. 

While it might sound like a good thing – who doesn’t want to sit on a throne and feel like the king or queen they are? –  it can actually be a harmful practice for those involved. 

But what exactly is ‘throning’, and is this trend as grand as it sounds? 

What is ‘throning’?

Throning is where one person chooses to date another in the hopes of enhancing their own social status. They ‘throne’ themselves by going out with someone who has more influence, status or social clout than they do.

Essentially, they try to elevate their own social standing by associating themselves with someone more popular and visible. 

In most cases, the motivation behind these kinds of relationships isn’t long-term love; it’s about appearing successful and gaining a higher social status. It’s about simply being seen to be ‘sitting on the throne’ rather than building a deep and meaningful connection with someone. 

This trend is driven by today’s social media culture, where online presence is heavily valued, and individuals want to appear successful or well-connected. They use these relationships to boost their personal brand or image, access new networks and increase their online following. 

However, this isn’t necessarily a new dating tactic. In the past, those hoping to ‘throne’ someone might have been said to be ‘gold-digging’, ‘clout chasing’ or ‘dating up’. 

What are  the challenges with ‘throning’?

Let’s just clear something up, if both people in the relationship are throning and they are both aware that the relationship is being used as a way of elevating their social status, this is not necessarily a harmful thing. 

That being said, it is often the case that one person will be trying to boost their reputation and ‘get on the throne’, while the other believes they are genuinely interested in them and looking for love. 

As throning is a strategic dating move rather than a genuine, authentic act, this can lead to superficial relationships that are unlikely to fulfil deep emotional needs. In this case, throning can be detrimental to the unsuspecting individual who is truly looking for a meaningful relationship. 

Another potential pitfall of throning is emotional manipulation when one partner is using or exploiting the other for their social standing. This can lead to much deeper trust issues. 

Lastly, relationships built on throning are likely to lack the strong foundations of trust and friendship that a loving relationship requires, leading to disillusionment or messy breakups when the allure of status and popularity eventually fades. 

Can ‘throning’ lead to love? 

Now, it’s worth saying that there is every possibility throning could lead to something genuine. 

However, as many of these relationships lack emotional depth and are often based on external benefits like money or status, this is unlikely to lead to a meaningful connection. 

In order to find true love, both partners need to see each other as equals and build a foundation of trust and mutual respect. This is not something that usually occurs when throning. 

Ditch ‘throning’ to find true love 

Are you looking for true love and concerned that your intentions may not have been honourable in past relationships? Or perhaps your social status has caused you to be the victim of throning yourself?

No matter what has gone before, it’s time to ditch that throne. 

Relationships based on real connection, not just perceived social benefit, are going to be more rewarding. So, rather than relying on gamified dating apps or social media hookups, it’s important to invest in making meaningful connections. 

Working with a professional matchmaker enables you to invest more time in shared interests, mutual goals and authentic emotions. 

Using their years of expertise, they will get to know who you are and what you want from a partner, so they can introduce you to someone with similar values, goals and passions. That way, you can focus on what really matters. 

Remember, you’re more than just your social status, so if you’re ready to make meaningful connections, get in touch with our expert team today for a confidential consultation.

When searching for love, how many times have you ruled out a potential partner who seems perfect in every way but there’s something missing when you meet in person? In the search for love, attraction is often viewed as a magical spark that either ignites or fizzles out. But beneath that initial chemistry lies a fascinating blend of psychology, biology, and individual life experiences that influence who we find attractive and why. 

In this blog, we take a deeper dive into the science and psychology behind attraction and how you can harness it to find a real, lasting connection. 

The science of chemistry

When we say we have chemistry with someone, we’re acknowledging that we feel something, but we may not fully understand what it is or why we feel that way. Chemistry is essentially a mix of physiological and psychological responses to another person. When we fall in love, our palms sweat, we can stutter and become breathless, we may not be able to think clearly, and it feels like we have butterflies in our stomachs. This is due to the chemical reactions that are happening in our brains, the surging release of dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. These chemicals create feelings of happiness and bonding, giving that exciting spark feeling when you’re close to someone you admire.

Similarity and familiarity

Aside from the chemical reaction, psychologists have found that we are often drawn to people who are similar to us. This similarity-attraction effect forms a solid foundation to a real, lasting connection, due to the shared values, aspirations, lifestyle, and interests that this person possesses which are in line with our own. However, sometimes this can mean that we gravitate towards the familiar too. Quite often people are drawn to those who resemble someone they have loved or admired in the past, even subconsciously, which is where being known for having a ‘type’ comes in. These people may not always be the best for you, but because they are familiar to what you’re used to, you can’t help but feel attracted to them. 

Complementary traits

While similarity is crucial, complementary traits can also play a significant role in attraction. You’ve likely heard the phrase that ‘opposites attract,’ and to some extent, that’s true. Traits like introversion and extroversion can balance each other out, creating a harmonious dynamic where both partners bring different strengths to the table. However, compatibility is key here; the differences that you have must enhance rather than disrupt the relationship.

The role of attachment styles

Our attachment style – the way we form bonds and connect emotionally – plays an important role in who we’re attracted to and how we experience relationships. If you have a secure attachment style, you’re more likely to seek out healthy relationships that feel supportive and stable. However, if you have an anxious or avoidant attachment style, you may find yourself drawn to emotionally unavailable people or patterns that ultimately leave you feeling unsatisfied.

Timing is key

Finally, timing plays a surprisingly vital role in attraction. Often, we might meet someone who seems perfect, but if we aren’t ready for a relationship or are carrying unresolved issues, that attraction may fizzle out before it’s even started. Attraction is as much about being emotionally available as it is about meeting the right person.

Why a matchmaker could be your secret weapon

When it comes to finding love, attraction is complex and multilayered. While online dating might promise an endless array of potential partners, it often fails to capture the subtle elements that make two people truly compatible. Collaborating with a matchmaker means you’re supported by someone who is trained to understand the psychology behind attraction, someone who can cut through the noise of superficial connections to find someone who genuinely complements you. They look at who you are beneath the surface and carefully select matches based on deeper compatibility. For those who want something more than a fleeting attraction, a matchmaker can be the guiding hand that helps you find not just a spark but a steady flame. 

If you’re ready to explore attraction and find a connection that lasts, contact our team of experts today. After all, sometimes it takes a little science, and a lot of heart, to truly find love.

There’s no denying that the dating world has changed. Two decades ago, if you met someone, the likelihood was they were introduced through a friend or an acquaintance or you met organically whilst meandering through life! This meant that you didn’t need to worry about how to word the perfect first message because that first meeting was likely face-to-face. 

In today’s dating world though, so much hangs on that first message. Whether you’ve met someone through an app or been matched through the expert service of a matchmaker, the chances are your first method of communication will be a written message. But how do you create the perfect first message that highlights your personality and reflects you in your best light?

Start with genuine interest

People want to feel valued and noticed, especially in dating, where profiles can sometimes feel like they blur together. Instead of opening with a generic “Hi,” show that you’ve taken the time to read their profile. If they mentioned their love for hiking, their fascination with sci-fi movies, or their dog, lead with that. For example, “Hi! I noticed you’re into hiking – what’s the best trail you’ve been on recently?” or “I saw you’re a big sci-fi fan. Have you seen [popular show or movie]? I’d love a recommendation!”

Showing genuine interest not only sets you apart from less thoughtful openers, but it also gives the other person something to respond to – always a win. 

Keep it light, but personal

Humour can work wonders as an icebreaker. Playful, light-hearted messages tend to perform better than ones that feel too intense or overly formal. That said, keep it positive and avoid sarcasm, which can be easily misinterpreted in a message. A funny observation based on their profile can be a great start. If they mention their love for coffee, for instance, you could say, “Are you a ‘coffee before talking’ type of person too?” 

At the same time, avoid coming on too strong. Messages that lean into intensity, like “I feel like I know you from somewhere” or “I think you could be the one,” can make the other person feel uncomfortable. A good first message is a balance of warm and light-hearted.

Ask open-ended questions

One of the best ways to get a response is to ask an open-ended question. Questions like “What’s the most exciting thing you did last weekend?” or “If you could visit any country right now, where would you go?” encourage the other person to open up, making it easier to get to know each other naturally. This beats a “How are you?” which can feel flat and doesn’t leave much room for conversation. Plus, it’s not the most inspiring of openers!

When asking questions, make sure they are simple but interesting enough to invite a story or thoughtful answer.

Be authentic and avoid copy and pasting

One common mistake in dating is copying and pasting messages. While it may save time, it’s often obvious to the recipient, who may feel that they’re just one of many people you’re messaging. Taking a few extra seconds to personalise your message makes it feel more genuine and less like a mass effort. Even a small, unique touch – mentioning their love for vintage vinyl or their recent trip to Italy – can make a big difference in getting a response.

Finally, don’t forget to use their name, any message starting, ‘Hey babe!’ is an instant turnoff. 

Keep it concise

When crafting your first message, remember to keep it concise. Three to four sentences are usually enough to express interest, ask a question, and leave room for a reply. Sending a long, detailed message can feel overwhelming and might turn people off, especially if they’re getting multiple messages a day. 

Remember to have fun

When it comes to dating, crafting the perfect first message is key. That initial message can make or break a conversation and potentially lead to a great match – or, unfortunately, radio silence. In a sea of “Hey” and “What’s up?” messages, standing out with a thoughtful opener can increase your chances of getting a response and make you more memorable. 

A perfect first message doesn’t have to be poetic or over-the-top; it just needs to show genuine interest, respect, and a touch of creativity. Remember, dating is supposed to be fun, so don’t be afraid to show a little personality and stay relaxed. After all, the best connections often start with a simple, thoughtful message! 

If you’re single and need some help in crafting the perfect message or finding that perfect match, then get in touch with our team of expert matchmakers today. 

In today’s world, social media plays a pivotal role in many aspects of our lives, including dating. Whether it’s checking out a potential partner’s Instagram feed or glancing at their LinkedIn profile, we all use social media to gather information and make more informed decisions. But how much should we rely on these platforms, and how can we use them wisely to support our search for love? 

If you’re embarking on a dating journey, whether on your own or with the support of a matchmaker, understanding the role social media plays can be key to helping you find the right partner.

Your personal brand

First impressions matter, and in the age of social media, they often happen long before the first date. The way you curate your social media profiles is essentially how you present yourself to the world – and, by extension, to potential romantic partners. 

Before someone even meets you, they may have already scrolled through your Instagram feed, browsed your Facebook posts, or skimmed your LinkedIn profile. This gives them a snapshot of who you are: your lifestyle, your interests, and how you engage with the world. So, it’s worth thinking about how you present yourself online. Are your photos reflective of your true self? Do your posts showcase your values and interests?

While authenticity is key, it’s important to be aware that your online presence is part of the dating process. Consider what kind of first impression you’d like to make and ensure that your social media reflects that. After all, potential matches might not reach out if they see content that seems off-putting or inconsistent with who you really are.

Open the door to find out more

While we all know it’s not wise to judge a book by its cover, social media can give you insight into someone’s values, lifestyle, and personality before you even meet them. But it’s crucial to approach this with balance. 

Social media is often a highlight reel, with people sharing only the best moments of their lives. While it’s fun to see someone’s travel photos or nights out, take it with a pinch of salt and look beyond the highlights. Consider whether their lifestyle aligns with yours, but don’t make assumptions based solely on what you see.

How someone interacts with their friends and followers can tell you a lot about their character. Do they engage in meaningful conversations or post thoughtful comments? These small clues can give you insights into how they may communicate and connect in a relationship.

While social media can offer insights into someone’s positive attributes, it can also raise concerns so remember to also look out for the red flags. Excessive negativity, constant drama, or inappropriate behaviour online can be a warning sign. Be mindful of these as you assess whether this person is someone you’d like to pursue.

While it may be tempting to do a deep dive into someone’s social media history, remember there’s a line between curiosity and intrusion. Be respectful of their privacy and avoid going too far back into their posts – not only can it come across as invasive if you reference something too specific early on, but there is a possibility that they may have matured over time, and you may judge them on something that is no longer part of who they are today.

Remember, social media can only tell so much

While social media is useful for gaining initial insight, remember it’s only one facet of a person’s life. Nothing can replace real-life interactions and the deeper conversations that come from getting to know someone face-to-face. It’s easy to draw conclusions from a few photos or posts, but always leave room for the full picture to emerge when you actually meet someone in person.

While social media might help you learn a bit more about a potential partner, nothing beats the expertise and personal touch of working with a professional matchmaker. At Ignite Dating, we take the time to understand who you are beyond your social media profile, using our expert matchmaking services to introduce you to someone whose values, lifestyle, and relationship goals align with yours. We’re here to take the hard work out of searching so you can focus on what really matters: finding meaningful, lasting connections.

Ready to take the next step? Contact us today for a confidential consultation and let’s ignite your journey to finding the one!

Anyone who’s seen the 2007 film P.S. I Love You with Gerard Butler and Hilary Swank, will have already witnessed the charm that the Republic of Ireland has to offer. Renowned for its breathtaking landscapes, charming towns, and rich culture, whether you’re looking for adventure, tranquillity, or a combination of the two, the Republic of Ireland offers countless opportunities for romantic experiences. Below are just some of the date ideas in the region that promise to leave you and your date with unforgettable memories.

Stroll along the Cliffs of Moher

Located in County Clare, the Cliffs of Moher are an easy day trip from many parts of the Republic of Ireland and a must-see for couples who love nature. These iconic cliffs offer stunning views of the Atlantic Ocean and the rugged Irish coastline. You can walk along the cliff edge (safely, of course), take in the crashing waves below, and enjoy the fresh sea air as you find out more about each other. Then finish the day with a cosy dinner at one of the nearby restaurants in Doolin, a village famous for its traditional Irish music and lively atmosphere.

Kayaking in Kinsale Harbour

Kinsale, a picturesque harbour town in County Cork, is perfect for couples who enjoy a mix of adventure and charm. One of the most unique and exciting date ideas is to go kayaking around Kinsale Harbour. Paddle through the calm waters, explore hidden coves, and take in the stunning views of the colourful townhouses along the shore. After working up an appetite, treat yourselves to some delicious seafood at one of the town’s famous restaurants, like Fishy Fishy, known for its fresh, locally sourced ingredients.

Visit Blarney Castle and Gardens

Located just outside Cork City, Blarney Castle is home to the legendary Blarney Stone, which is said to bestow the gift of eloquence on anyone who kisses it. But even if you’re not up for puckering up to a stone, the castle and its surrounding gardens are an incredibly romantic setting. Wander through the stunning gardens, explore the magical Rock Close with its ancient yew trees and druidic stones, and take in the views from the castle’s towers. The peaceful surroundings offer a perfect backdrop for a leisurely afternoon, with plenty of spots for a quiet picnic too.

Sunset at Inch Beach, County Kerry

If you’re looking for a beach date that’s a bit more serene, head to Inch Beach in County Kerry. This long stretch of golden sand is perfect for a romantic evening walk. It’s an ideal spot to catch the sunset with the Dingle Peninsula in the distance, creating a dramatic and stunning view. Bring a blanket and perhaps a bottle of wine and enjoy the peaceful sounds of the ocean as the sun dips below the horizon.

Explore the Ring of Kerry

If you love road trips and exploring new places then a trip along the famous Ring of Kerry, for a full day of exploration and stunning views should be on the cards. This 179-kilometer circular route offers endless breathtaking landscapes, from mountains to lakes and even beaches. Stop off at places like the Gap of Dunloe, Ladies View, and Torc Waterfall to stretch your legs and truly take in the natural beauty. And don’t worry, there are also plenty of quaint villages along the way where you can stop for a meal or a pint of Guinness if you’re truly feeling the Irish spirit! 

Enjoy traditional music in Dingle

If you’re both music lovers then you won’t want to bypass Dingle, a lively town on the edge of the Dingle Peninsula, known for its vibrant music scene. Make the most of an evening date by paying a visit to one of the traditional Irish pubs like O’Sullivan’s Courthouse Pub, where you can enjoy live traditional music sessions before taking a moonlit stroll along the harbour. The combination of great music, tasty food, and a beautiful backdrop makes for a truly memorable date.

Hiking in Killarney National Park

For couples who enjoy the great outdoors, a hike in Killarney National Park is a perfect date. The park offers a variety of trails, from easy walks to more challenging hikes. Explore the picturesque Muckross House and Gardens, take a boat trip to Innisfallen Island, or hike up to the Torc Waterfall. The park is full of stunning lakes, woodlands, and mountains, providing plenty of opportunities for quiet moments together in nature.

Spa day in Kenmare

If relaxation is more your style, a spa day in Kenmare, County Kerry, is the perfect way to unwind with your date. Many luxury hotels in the area, such as the Park Hotel Kenmare, offer couples’ spa packages that include massages, thermal suites, and access to serene pools. After a day of pampering, take a stroll through the charming town of Kenmare, which is known for its vibrant art galleries and excellent dining options, to truly indulge in the Irish culture.

The Republic of Ireland offers a wealth of romantic date ideas, blending adventure, culture, and relaxation. Whether you’re wandering along scenic coastal cliffs or enjoying a cosy evening in a traditional pub, these experiences are sure to create cherished memories for you and your date. So, grab your partner and start exploring the beauty and charm of the country!

If you’re based in the Republic of Ireland and looking for a new way to date, then get in touch with our team today to find out more about how we can help on your search for love.

Like many elements of dating, determining whether you’re ready to date again after a breakup is completely individual to you and your experiences. There is no right length of time to wait or set process to follow, as each person and situation is different. The key to knowing if you’re ready to date again is to understand yourself and what you need or want from a new relationship.

Every person has a different time period in terms of whether or not they’re really ready for a relationship. Some people emotionally separate from a relationship while they’re still physically in the relationship. Then once the relationship ends and they are no longer with that person, they’re immediately ready for a new relationship because they’ve already been through the process of separating emotionally. Others are not ready for a new relationship straight away as they need time to process. They need to think about what they really need or want in another relationship, before they go out there and look for one. 

If you’re considering dating again but want to ensure it’s for the right reasons, we’ve pulled together some essential questions to ask yourself and advice on how to navigate the post-breakup era, so you can truly move on to a happy and healthy relationship with the right person. 

Are you over your ex?

It might seem obvious, but the first question to ask yourself is whether you’re truly over your ex. It’s easy to confuse loneliness with readiness for a new relationship, particularly in those early stages post breakup. Truly being over someone means that you’ve processed the breakup, healed from any hurt that may have been present, and separated emotionally from the relationship. 

If you find yourself frequently thinking about your ex, comparing others to them, or hoping they’ll come back, it’s probably too soon to start dating again. Instead, learn to enjoy your own company, find who you are and find peace in your previous relationship before seeking someone new. 

What are you looking for in a relationship?

Take the time to reflect on what you want in your next relationship. Are you looking for a committed relationship, something casual, companionship, or someone to share new experiences with? Or are you simply trying to fill the gap left by your previous partner? Understanding your needs and desires and having clear goals and intentions can pave the way for healthier, more fulfilling connections. 

Physical chemistry is important, but a true connection involves emotional and intellectual compatibility as well. If you’re only focusing on surface-level connections, it could be a sign that you are seeking something more casual.  New relationships require emotional openness and vulnerability. If you feel secure enough to be vulnerable and trust someone new, that’s a good sign.

When you think about dating, you should be excited about the future, not just focused on replacing the past. When you’re truly ready you will find joy in imagining what a future relationship could look like and be open to everything that that may bring. 

Have you taken time for self-care?

Before dating again, make sure you’ve invested time in your own well-being. Have you reconnected with hobbies, friends, or activities that bring you joy? Have you worked on personal growth? Being emotionally whole on your own is crucial before seeking out someone else. 

The best relationships come when you feel confident in yourself. When you feel emotionally stable, independent and genuinely happy with who you are. After all, you’re not seeking a partner to complete you but someone to complement your life. 

While it’s natural to want to date again after a breakup, ensuring you’re ready is key to finding a healthy, fulfilling relationship. Asking yourself the right questions and recognising signs of readiness will set you on the right path.

If you’re coming out of a breakup and unsure about where you stand, get in touch with our team of expert matchmakers to find out how we can provide the clarity and support you need to make your next relationship a success.

In today’s dating landscape, making a good first impression is crucial. It’s no surprise then that one factor that stands out time and time again in people’s profiles is fitness. But why is staying fit such an essential part of the dating journey? 

Just as Fiona Lambert mentioned in our recent podcast episode, fitness goes far beyond simply looking good; it’s about embodying confidence, health, and vitality. In this post, we’ll explore the many reasons why fitness plays a key role in dating and how it can elevate your overall experience, allowing you to put your best self forward.

First impressions matter

Let’s be honest – physical attraction often initiates a connection. While love isn’t entirely skin-deep, we can’t deny that the initial appeal plays a role. Taking care of your body sends a powerful message to potential partners: you prioritise your health and well-being, and you’re committed to being your best self. It doesn’t mean you need to have a six-pack or fit into unrealistic beauty standards, but being healthy and active radiates confidence – something that’s universally attractive.

Confidence is magnetic

Fitness boosts your self-esteem by making you feel better in your own skin, and that translates directly into how you present yourself on dates. When you’re comfortable with your body, you’re more likely to carry yourself with poise and charisma. Fitness isn’t just about looking good in a mirror; it’s about feeling good from the inside out.

Moreover, working out releases endorphins, the feel-good hormones that naturally make you happier and less stressed. A positive, confident attitude draws people in, making them more likely to want to spend time with you. Confidence is contagious, and when you radiate it, your potential partner will likely feel it too.

Shared activities make for better dates

Fitness opens the door to fun, active date ideas. Instead of the typical coffee or dinner date, imagine going for a scenic hike, kayaking on a serene lake, or taking a fun fitness class together. Sharing activities like these not only helps build a connection but also keeps the date dynamic and engaging.

Active dates are a fantastic way to bond over a mutual interest. They allow you to get to know someone in a more relaxed setting, where you can both be yourselves without the pressure of a formal date. Plus, physical activity naturally enhances attraction – working out together can release oxytocin, the bonding hormone, and help break the ice.

A healthy body reflects a healthy mindset

A commitment to fitness often reflects a commitment to personal growth. Someone who takes care of their body is more likely to approach other aspects of their life such as career, relationships, and hobbies with the same level of dedication. This mindset can be incredibly attractive to potential partners who value growth and self-improvement in a relationship.

Additionally, regular exercise improves mental health by reducing anxiety and depression, making you more emotionally available and resilient when navigating the ups and downs of dating. Having a healthy body and mind equips you to manage the complexities of relationships with grace and composure.

Improved energy and stamina

Dating can be exhausting, especially if you’re balancing a busy work life and social calendar. Fitness gives you the energy and stamina needed to keep up with an active dating life. Regular exercise improves your cardiovascular health, strength, and endurance, which not only benefits you in daily life but also in your intimate relationships.

When you feel fit and energetic, you’re more likely to say “yes” to spontaneous adventures, try new activities, and embrace the excitement of getting to know someone. That enthusiasm and zest for life are incredibly attractive traits.

Fitness enhances longevity and vitality

Being fit isn’t just about the present; it’s about setting yourself up for a healthy future. People who prioritise fitness are more likely to have a longer, healthier life. When dating, you want to find someone who you can enjoy life with for the long haul. Fitness ensures that you’re both physically and mentally prepared to embrace a long-lasting relationship full of shared adventures, experiences, and passion.

Furthermore, when two people in a relationship prioritise health, it creates a positive cycle. You motivate and inspire each other to stay active, eat better, and make healthier choices, leading to a happier, more fulfilling partnership.

Fitness as self-care and attraction

Ultimately, fitness is a form of self-care that goes beyond looking good on a dating profile. It’s about investing in yourself, mentally, physically, and emotionally. When you make fitness a priority, you’re not just improving your physical appearance; you’re building confidence, enhancing your mental well-being, and boosting your energy, all of which are essential qualities in a fulfilling relationship.

So, if you’re looking to put your best self forward in the dating world, start by investing in your fitness. Whether it’s going for a daily walk, hitting the gym, or trying out yoga, find something that makes you feel good. You’ll not only look better but feel more empowered and ready to attract someone who appreciates you for your best self.

If you are single and looking to put your best self forward, get in touch with our team today. Our team of dedicated matchmakers will be on hand every step of your journey to offer advice and guidance and help you become the best version for you and your future partner.

Needy is a phrase that is used commonly in today’s dating world. Whether it’s been directed at you or someone you know is talking about a potential love interest or partner, the chances are you will have heard the phrase batted around. But have you ever stopped to consider what it really means?

Most people would describe needy as someone in constant need of affection and attention. Think Disney’s famous fairy Tinkerbell, who is thought to die if she doesn’t get enough attention. But if you were to look up the term in the Oxford Dictionary, you will find that while needy can be defined as a person needing emotional support, its primary definition is of a person lacking the necessities of life. 

The truth is, there’s no such thing as someone who’s too needy. It simply doesn’t exist in the sense that we have been programmed to think of it. Instead, it is more aligned to the dictionary’s primary definition but rather than focusing on the physical aspects of need, we need to focus on the intangible entities. 

When it comes to needs it is easy to envision the physical aspects that a person may be lacking. For example, if you were stranded in a desert for a week, weak from exhaustion, starvation and dehydration, as soon as a plate of food and a glass of water is put in front of you the way you react to it would be different than if you had a bag of food and water with you in the desert. Your entire behaviour would be different, because your need for food and water would be much higher. 

Now in today’s society, those that are labelled as needy, are often the people who have not had what they rely on for survival, which is love, acceptance, connection, relationships, vulnerability, and safety. Their previous experience of relationships has been void of these fundamental aspects, which in turn means they have metaphorically been walking in an emotional desert, starved of the intangible entities that they need. 

Because they have been without them for so long, when they meet a new partner or a potential love interest who gives them those fundamental elements, they crave them more. So, people label them as needy. However, over time as those needs are met, their behaviours completely change, and the needy behaviours decrease. In its simplest form, we use love, connection, and relationships as a survival mechanism.

So, next time you meet someone who you would usually class as needy, take a moment to assess what their behaviour is really telling you. The likelihood is that with a little patience and a relationship filled with the foundational basics of love, acceptance, connection, vulnerability, and safety on both sides, that person’s behaviour is likely to change, and they could in fact be the exact person you’ve been searching for.

If you’re single and are looking for a healthy relationship filled with the fundamental basics of love and connection, then get in touch with our team of expert matchmakers to find out how we can help you fulfil your needs to find a happy and long-lasting relationship.

When it comes to finding that special someone, we all have a picture in our mind as to how that perfect partner will be. Everything from their looks to their personality traits and values have been analysed and added to a checklist, but the reality is that person doesn’t exist. The chances of finding someone with that exact unique set of traits and values, is practically impossible. Instead of looking for that idealised version of a partner, we should learn to look beyond the barriers that we are putting in place to find that person who is truly aligned with our own values, lifestyles, and aspirations of the future. Here are five ways to accept a partner who may not be perfect, but who is good for you. 

Adjust your expectations

If you are the type of person who constantly seeks perfection and has written off many possible relationships because they haven’t quite met your checklist – maybe they were slightly shorter than expected or outside of your age bracket – then you may be standing in the way of your own happily ever after. 

It’s important to adjust your expectations when it comes to relationships, as everyone has flaws, little quirks, and potential red flags. It’s part of being human. Instead of seeking perfection, focus on finding someone who aligns with your values, shares common interests, and supports you in achieving your goals.

Concentrate on the positives

Mindset plays a huge part in how happy we are with our lives and our relationships. Focusing on the parts that don’t meet your criteria, will in turn push you into thinking that they’re not right for you. 

Instead, deliberately give attention to the positive aspects and appreciate the qualities that make them a good fit. For example, consider their kindness, how supportive they are to you and your goals, and recognise their loyalty and all the other attributes that contribute to a healthy relationship. 

Focus on compatibility

Relationships are about more than how good you look together, it’s how well you fit on the features that really matter. Concentrate on how well you and your partner mesh in terms of hobbies and interests, communications styles, values, lifestyles, and your aspirations for the future. 

If you are aligned on these attributes, then you have a stronger foundation for which to build and grow in your relationship. Compatibility is more important than finding someone who meets an idealised version of a perfect partner.

Be patient

Patience is key in any relationship, as it takes time for a connection to grow and develop. Rushing can lead to misunderstandings or unmet expectations on both sides, so it’s important to take it slow with your partner. Offer support and understanding as you both evolve to become better matches for each other as the relationship naturally deepens. 

Work on personal growth

We’ve all heard the famous phrase, “it takes two to tango” and this couldn’t be truer in relationships. Personal growth is essential for a healthy partnership, as both individuals contribute to its success. By focusing on your own self-improvement, you can bring positive changes to the relationship. Whether it’s developing better communication skills, managing emotions, or becoming more self-aware, your growth can strengthen the bond and help create a more fulfilling and balanced connection. 

Contrary to popular belief, perfect partners only exist in fairytales and striving for an idealised version of who you expect your partner to be can hinder your journey of finding a meaningful relationship. So, next time you’re on a date put your checklist to the side and focus on the person in front of you. Because if they share your values, appreciate who you are and have the same plans for the future, then what does it matter if they’re an inch or two too short or an age older than you wished. Sometimes good enough really is better than perfect.

If you’re single and looking for a partner that may not be perfect but is good for you, then get in touch with our team of experts today.

Northern Ireland has played host as a famous backdrop for many romantic movies and novels over the years and it’s easy to see why. The country’s stunning mix of natural beauty, historical sites, and unique experiences, make it the perfect setting for unforgettable dates. Whether you’re into outdoor adventures, cosy evenings, or cultural explorations, there’s something for every couple to enjoy in Northern Ireland. Here are some date ideas to inspire you and your date to make the most of this captivating country.

Sunset stroll at Giant’s Causeway

If you love to mix romance with a touch of myth and history, visiting the Giant’s Causeway is a must. This National Trust heritage site, famous for its hexagonal basalt columns, offers breathtaking views of the North Atlantic Ocean and if you time your visit around sunset, you’re sure to witness a beautiful magical glow over the landscape. After your walk along the causeway, why not visit nearby Bushmills for a cosy meal in one of the village’s quaint pubs or restaurants.

Explore the walled city of Derry

For history buffs, the city of Derry (officially Londonderry) provides a rich cultural experience. Take a leisurely walk together around the historic city walls, which date back to the 17^th century. These walls are among the best-preserved in Europe, offering views of the city and the River Foyle below. Afterward, visit the Guildhall, a beautiful neo-Gothic building, or grab coffee in the quirky Craft Village. To finish off the day, catch a live music gig in one of the city’s many bars. Derry has a vibrant arts and cultural scene, so you’re bound to find something happening every night.

Picnic at the Dark Hedges

If you and your partner are fans of Game of Thrones, a visit to the Dark Hedges is a perfect idea. This avenue of ancient beech trees, made famous by the TV series, is one of the most photographed spots in Northern Ireland. Pack a picnic with your favourite treats, find a quiet spot under the sprawling branches, and enjoy the eerie yet enchanting beauty of the place. It’s a peaceful, romantic setting that’s ideal for couples looking to escape into nature.

Adventure at the Mourne Mountains

For the active couple, a day spent hiking in the Mourne Mountains offers an invigorating date experience. With trails ranging from easy to challenging, the Mournes provide stunning panoramic views of Northern Ireland’s rolling hills and coastline. After working up a sweat, reward yourselves with a hearty meal at a local pub, such as The Maghera Inn, or cosy up by a fire in one of the area’s charming guesthouses. If you’re feeling particularly adventurous, you could even book a couple’s camping trip and spend the night under the stars.

Tour the Titanic Quarter in Belfast

For something more urban, a date in Belfast’s Titanic Quarter offers a mix of history and modern experiences. Start with a visit to the Titanic Belfast Museum, where you can learn about the city’s shipbuilding heritage and the tragic story of the Titanic. Afterward, stroll along the waterfront, stopping at the SS Nomadic, the last remaining White Star Line ship. End your day with a romantic dinner at Bert’s Jazz Bar, where you can enjoy cocktails and live jazz in a glamorous, vintage setting.

Spa day in the Slieve Donard Resort

For the ultimate relaxation date, book a spa day at the Slieve Donard Resort & Spa, located at the foot of the Mourne Mountains and overlooking the sea. You can both unwind with a couple’s massage, enjoy the luxurious thermal spa, or simply relax in the stunning surroundings. After a day of pampering, enjoy dinner at the hotel’s award-winning restaurant, which offers fine dining with breathtaking views of the coast.

Northern Ireland’s diverse landscapes and rich cultural heritage provide endless opportunities for memorable dates. Whether you’re exploring historic cities, embarking on outdoor adventures, or indulging in fine dining and pamper days, Northern Ireland promises romance and enchantment at every turn. So, grab your partner and embark on a Northern Ireland adventure that will leave you both spellbound.

If you’re based in Northern Ireland and looking for a new way to date, then get in touch with our team today to find out more about how we can help on your search for love.