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Hiring a matchmaker can’t guarantee a life-long relationship – but here’s why you should do it anyway

If you feel like dating is hard in 2025, you’re not alone! There are several key reasons why so many singles are feeling fed up with the current state of the dating world. 

Dating apps are leading to digital fatigue, many individuals fear being vulnerable, and there are still unclear expectations around dating and relationships, commitment and communication. 

This burnout is pushing more people to hire a professional matchmaker. They need someone who can guide them, vet potential dates, and introduce them to compatible matches. They want someone who can succeed where the algorithms have failed them, repeatedly. 

And while trained matchmakers can help you navigate the complex world of dating, offering support, safety, a dating pool of professional singles, and the chance to meet individuals who share your values and relationship goals, it’s important to remember that they are matchmakers, not magicians. 

The idea of outsourcing such a personal human experience to a professional in this way can lead to unrealistic expectations. However, it’s not the same as other service providers; it’s not as simple as, say, finding an electrician to fix a broken light. 

What matchmakers offer is the opportunity and support to meet the right person, but they can’t guarantee the chemistry will be there, no matter how skilled and experienced they may be – and we’re here to explain why. 

Matchmakers are there to facilitate great matches 

The key role of a matchmaker is to use their experience, training and intuition to recommend potential partners based on what you tell them about yourself and what you want in a partner. They are also here to offer emotional support and guidance throughout your dating journey. 

The tricky part is that sometimes we don’t know ourselves as well as we think we do, and you might set out a list of criteria for a new partner that doesn’t accurately reflect what you want in the future. And even if you do know exactly what you want from a partner for the rest of your life, there is no guarantee that person exists in the real world!

As a result, it often takes dating experience to learn these lessons and find someone who matches your needs as closely as possible. So, while your matchmaker can guide you towards these people, they are not there to take you on a journey of self-discovery over the next 10 years, and they cannot say for certain that you’ll find a 100% perfect match. They can introduce you to people who are compatible with you. 

Science can’t always predict human behaviour 

Matchmakers will use their years of training and intuition to identify individuals with a higher potential for lasting relationships. This can be done using scientific methods like Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) or FIRO (Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation) assessments. 

However, understanding personality types and dating patterns and following global industry standards in matchmaking can still only facilitate your dating journey so far.  

After all, humans are complex, and people often change. Someone who seems like your perfect match today might take a different path five years down the line; they might be impacted by life-changing circumstances, ambitions or health, which can reshape their priorities. 

No amount of science, screening or psychological assessment can accurately account for how two people will change and grow over the next few years. This is just part of the risk (and the beauty) of falling in love.

Love is not an equation 

Following on from this last point, we know that love is not an equation that can be solved. Human beings are complex, unpredictable, and constantly evolving. Although matchmakers are trained to have the essential tools to support their clients, they don’t have a one-size-fits-all solution that can ‘fix’ your love life with one simple introduction. 

Two people can seem perfectly compatible on paper, but true chemistry cannot be forced or fabricated. So, while a matchmaker might be able to introduce you to someone who ticks all the right boxes, they cannot guarantee that elusive spark that makes you want to build a future with someone. 

The truth is, there is no quick fix for finding love and maintaining a long-term relationship; it just doesn’t exist. And yes, matchmakers will take this into account as best they can when searching for potential partners, weighing up your hobbies, lifestyle, goals and future aspirations, but unfortunately, they don’t have a crystal ball that can see into the future. 

Relationships take work 

Finally, it’s important to know that even the most successful relationships don’t simply happen because two people are well-suited. Relationships take work, compromise and mutual growth. 

So, a matchmaker can introduce you to someone who seems objectively perfect for you, but they cannot guarantee that you will both communicate well, navigate life’s ups and downs gracefully or maintain the spark and connection that keeps a relationship strong. 

These aspects depend on you as individuals and the choices you make every day. 

Here’s why you should work with a matchmaker 

Of course, none of this means that working with a matchmaker isn’t worthwhile. There are lots of great reasons why this can be a valuable and life-changing approach to dating. For one thing, this is what they are trained to do. They have the knowledge and tools to gain an in-depth understanding of your personality type and relationship needs, so they can offer tailored matches based on your preferences. 

Not only that, but they work hard to build a strong network, so you can meet wonderful people you might never have encountered online. 

Lastly, they can provide you with a fresh perspective, as well as support and encouragement on your dating journey. This can be really important if you’ve become disillusioned by dating apps or you’ve had some bad relationships in the past that have left you feeling vulnerable. 

Is it time to engage the services of a matchmaker? 

The key to making this work is to view your matchmaker as a facilitator, not a miracle worker. It is their job to create possibilities and introduce you to potentially great matches. The real magic happens when you meet someone and you both choose to love and support each other day after day, year after year, no matter what life throws your way. 

So, if you’d like to work with an expert matchmaker and increase your chances of finding love this year, we can help. Get in touch with our talented team today and take your next positive step towards finding the right partner.

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Have you been ‘Banksyed’? What is this cruel new trend, and how to overcome it

Ghosting, catfishing, breadcrumbing – there are plenty of terrible dating trends out there that we already know about, but it appears that these are not the end of poor dating etiquette.

The latest bewildering trend to hit the dating scene is ‘Banksying’. This dating move is the latest way people are leaving their mark on unsuspecting partners before vanishing for good.

If this sounds familiar and you’ve been left scratching your head, wondering how a seemingly perfect connection dissolved overnight, you might have experienced Banksying yourself. 

So, what is it, and how can you move on? 

What is Banksying?

The term was coined by dating coach Hayley Quinn and is a nod to the elusive street artist Banksy, who is known for making bold, unexpected statements through his art and then disappearing into thin air.

In dating, Banksying works in much the same way. It’s about simply vanishing from a relationship without a warning. It’s a frustrating and cowardly exit strategy, in which no real explanation is given to the partner left behind. One day, everything seems normal – romantic even – and the next they are gone.

This is because the person pulling this move has usually taken the time internally to process their decision and knows they are simply going to disappear. However, this emotional hit-and-run leaves the person on the receiving end questioning everything, including whether they could have done something to stop it.

How is this different from ghosting? Unlike simply going quiet for a few weeks, hinting that the spark has just fizzled, Banksying blindsides the individual with big promises that never materialise. Everything seems normal in your relationship until suddenly it isn’t, and they’ve now disappeared. 

Four ways to overcome being Banksyed

If you’ve experienced this cruel trend, you’re not alone! But that doesn’t make it any less painful. The good news is you can bounce back stronger and smarter.

1. Recognise it’s not about you

The most important thing is that you don’t blame yourself. Someone who is prepared to Banksy their partner usually does so because they want a romantic relationship but lack the emotional maturity and communication skills to make it work. This also makes it harder for them to face up to their decision to leave.

So, their actions reflect their inability to handle real intimacy, not your worth. Remind yourself that their disappearing act says everything about them and nothing about you.

2. Ground yourself in reality

When someone Banksys you, it’s easy to replay the happy moments and romantic gestures and wonder if you imagined the entire connection. You didn’t. Instead, try to see the situation objectively. Did they make big promises early on? Were they overly intense?

This signifies another dating trend called ‘future faking’, which can be a huge red flag. So, next time, you need to keep your feet on the ground when the fireworks start and recognise if they are doing too much, too soon.

Most genuine connections unfold naturally at a slower pace. Being aware of these signs can protect you in future relationships and prevent this from happening to you again.

3. Allow yourself to grieve (and talk it out)

It’s so important that you don’t bottle it up. Being Banksyed can feel humiliating and confusing, and those feelings are valid. You need to talk to trusted friends or family, journal your thoughts, or even speak to a therapist if you’re struggling to process the abrupt ending.

Often, just saying it out loud can help you reclaim your power and start to move on from this terrible experience.

4. Set better boundaries moving forward

Unfortunately, you can’t control whether someone will Banksy you. However, you can protect yourself in the future by setting clear emotional boundaries.

Once you’ve taken the time to grieve and heal, and you start your dating journey again, look out for red flags like someone showering you with over-the-top affection before you’ve even built a real foundation.

Also, look out for those who struggle to communicate early on. If you spot these signs early on, you should pause and assess. Ask yourself, do they follow through on their promises, and are their actions matching their words? Healthy relationships are built on consistency, not grand romantic gestures that lead nowhere.  

Don’t let Banksying break your spirit

Being Banksyed can leave you jaded and nervous about putting yourself out there again.  But you can’t let one person’s emotional stunt stop you from finding a genuine connection in the future. Accept this as a life lesson. 

As these terrible, viral dating trends and disappearing acts continue to happen, your best defence is self-awareness and strong self-worth. Remember, you deserve someone who shows up, sticks around, and means what they say.

So, if you’ve been Banksyed, remember that you’re not alone and you’re certainly not the problem. Take this as an opportunity to learn from the experience and keep your standards high. And, if you’d like help moving on and finding someone who is the rightmatch for you, get in touch with our expert team of matchmakers today. 

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Dating in different life stages: What to expect

Most of us start dating in our teens, beginning our journey of exploration and self-discovery. We learn more about who we are attracted to and what a relationship might look like, experience awkward dates, first loves, and often our first heartbreak.

All of which play a role in shaping our early understanding of romance and relationships. But as we move through life, our expectations, priorities, and perspectives on dating and relationships usually start to shift, sometimes in surprising ways.

Understanding what to expect at each stage can help you embrace your dating journey with more purpose, clarity and self-compassion. 

In your 20s: Experimentation and growth

Dating in your twenties can be a lot of fun, but it can also be confusing. This decade is defined by some of your biggest life transitions, higher education, travelling, starting a career, moving into your first home, and growing your personal network.

This is why many of us choose to date more casually at this stage, exploring different types of partners and relationship styles. For some, this might mean a series of unsuccessful dates and shorter relationships, while for others, it might be a time to seek deeper, long-term partnerships.

Subsequently, you can expect lots of trial and error. It’s likely that at this stage you’ll encounter mismatched intentions: maybe one person who wants commitment while the other wants the freedom to explore, perhaps one who wants to travel while another wants to save towards a mortgage.

This is all perfectly normal, and it is these experiences that can help you clarify what you truly want and need in a partner. Friendships, hobbies and personal goals often take priority during your twenties, and that’s okay too.

Building your sense of self is the best foundation for a healthy future relationship. So, you need to take this time to get to know yourself as well as your dates. 

In your 30s: Clarity and intentionality

Many people find that dating in their thirties feels far more intentional. At this stage in life, you probably have a clearer sense of your values, long-term goals and any dealbreakers in a potential partner.

For some, this decade is about finding a life partner, someone to settle down and start a family with. It may even be about rediscovering the dating scene after a breakup or two.

One of the biggest challenges at this age is typically balancing busy careers, family obligations and social lives. That’s why it’s important to date with intention at this age, respecting your own time and well-being, and setting yourself up for the best possible future.

You might also find that there is pressure to “find the one” before hitting certain milestones in your thirties, which can lead to frustration and even a sense of rushing the process. But remember, it’s better to wait for the right match than to settle out of fear. 

In your 40s and 50s: New beginnings

Dating in midlife often involves starting over, sometimes after a marriage or significant relationship. You may also be dating with kids, an ex or a busy career in the mix, which can make things more complicated. 

The good news is that many people report feeling more confident and self-assured at this stage in life because they know what they want, and they’re less willing to tolerate incompatibility.

Although you might face unique challenges at this age, such as blending families or navigating co-parenting, you’ll also find that many people in this age group are seeking meaningful, mature partnerships, so you’re less likely to experience awkward dates, ghosting or other negative dating trends. 

Online dating might feel appealing at this stage, especially if you’ve not done this before, as it opens you up to a larger number of possible dates. However, social circles, hobbies, and working with a professional matchmaker are often more effective ways to find good matches that reflect your values and the stage you’re at in your life. 

In your 60s and beyond: Companionship and connection

The number of people dating in their sixties, seventies and even eighties is increasing, and these groups are thriving. That’s because at this stage, dating is less about building a family or ticking off huge life milestones and more about genuine companionship, shared interests and enjoying the rest of your life together.

Some may be widowed or divorced; others never partnered long-term but want to connect now. So, if you are dating at this age, expect and embrace a slower pace. The focus should be on quality time, emotional intimacy and making the most of the present. 

For many, this can be one of the most beautiful chapters for romance and forming deep friendships. 

Are you dating right now? 

Dating at any stage of your life comes with its own unique joys and challenges. While it’s helpful to know more about what you can expect, it’s also important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all path, and comparing your journey to someone else’s isn’t always helpful.

Instead, you should approach each stage of dating with curiosity, kindness toward yourself, and an open heart.

And if you need support finding your last first date, you’re in the right place. Our talented team of globally trained matchmakers are experts in finding you compatible connections, no matter what stage you’re at in life. So get in touch today to find out how they can help you on your dating journey. 

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How to spot red flags without ignoring green ones

Over the last couple of years, the term red flag has become one of the most popular buzzwords on social media, particularly when talking about relationships and social interactions. It’s become so commonplace that even just seeing that little flag emoji on a message or video clip tells us all we need to know.

In this case, red flags refer to the negative traits or behaviours you should look out for in a partner. The warning signs that someone might not be a healthy match for you. 

While this can be helpful for avoiding toxic relationships and recognising behaviours that you may not have realised were problematic, it’s not without its own problems.

Too often, we get so focused on spotting the negative that we miss the signs of compatibility that are right in front of us. And it’s important to remember that dating isn’t just about avoiding heartbreak; it’s also about recognising when you’ve found someone worth investing in. 

That’s why we’re here to share how you can recognise red flags without ignoring the green ones. 

What are red flags, really?

Red flags are behaviours or traits that point to potential problems in the future. This might look like controlling behaviour, dishonesty, disrespect or inconsistent communication. These behaviours, be it what someone says or how they act, don’t just go away once you’re a couple. 

If anything, they tend to grow and get worse if not addressed. Spotting major red flags early can save you time, energy and heartbreak.

That sounds like a good thing, right? But here’s where people often get stuck, in the hyper-vigilance trap. When you’re constantly on edge, looking for weakness or even just signs that problems may arise in the future, you can easily misinterpret normal human flaws or early awkwardness as major deal breakers. 

In the end, you might find you’re ghosting someone who could actually be a great partner, simply because they sent a short text when they were busy and you read that as limited communication or emotional unavailability. That’s why we also need to tune in to the green flags, too.

Why looking out for green flags matters

Green flags are the positive qualities that show someone is emotionally mature, kind and ready for a healthy relationship. In this case, that could be respectful and regular communication, accountability, genuine interest and consistency. 

These are just some of the green flags that show someone might want to build something real and lasting with you; they’re signs of emotional safety.

If you only think about what is going wrong (or might go wrong in the future), you overlook what is going right, right now! For example, if you’re dating someone who respects your boundaries, follows through on plans and apologises sincerely when they mess up, these are huge green flags!

The trouble is, when you’re stuck in detective mode, getting in your head about the latest red flags shared on TikTok or Instagram, you might brush these good traits off as basic decency instead of what they really are: signs of emotional intelligence.

How to balance the two

Here are some ways to keep your eyes open for both the good and bad signs, so you can keep yourself safe, without passing up any great opportunities: 

Know your non-negotiables

Before you get too invested in a new relationship, it’s vital that you know what your major red flags are, whilst also keeping in mind what positive traits and behaviours you look for in a partner. 

Once you are clear on the non-negotiables and the nice-to-haves, you can spot these signs quickly. Just remember not to sweat the small stuff, like someone liking pineapple on pizza (controversial, we know) or them not texting you back with four paragraphs every morning.

Look for patterns, not just incidents

On the subject of not sweating the small stuff, to help you differentiate between red flags and one-offs, you should look for patterns in behaviour. A single comment or bad day isn’t always a red flag, but if they consistently lie, dodge accountability or gaslight you, this is a sign of a bigger problem. 

On the flip side, consistency in good behavior is a massive green flag as it means they’re not just “performing” early on and that this is who they really are.

Check in with yourself regularly 

Relationships may be a partnership, but it’s important to check in with yourself regularly. Ask yourself, when you’re with them, do you feel more anxious or more at ease? 

Sometimes your gut knows what your mind can’t see yet. If you feel safe being yourself, being open and honest and disagreeing without fear, that’s a massive green flag.

Always talk it out 

If something feels off, communicate before labelling it a red flag. The way someone responds to difficult conversations can reveal so much about them. If they get defensive or try to shift the blame, then yes, this is a red flag, but if they listen, validate your feelings and agree to work together on the issue, it’s green!

Don’t let red flags get in your way 

No good relationship is built on finding someone’s flaws, which is why it’s so important that you don’t ignore those green flags. 

Oftentimes, it is easier to spot when someone is behaving the way we want or expect them to, so it’s vital that you’re calm, balanced and honest with yourself. Determine which traits or actions are one-offs and which are consistent. Sure, no one is perfect, but if you can keep looking out for those green flags, you can find someone open, honest and whose good qualities far outweigh the bad. And if you need a little help along the way, our team of expert matchmakers can help. Get in touch today to find out how they can support you on your dating journey.

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How to rebuild confidence after a breakup

It doesn’t matter whether you knew it was coming or it took you by surprise; a breakup can be a heartbreaking and disorienting experience. 

Beyond the emotional turmoil, a breakup can also have a huge impact on your self-esteem and confidence, leading you to question your worth, judgment and identity. 

Healing these wounds doesn’t happen overnight, and the road to recovery can feel long. However, it’s important to take your time to rebuild when you and a partner split up, not just for the sake of your health and well-being but in order to put yourself back out there and form new connections in the future. 

With that in mind, here are some helpful steps you can take to rebuild your confidence after a breakup. 

Understand the impact a breakup can have on you 

Many of us like to try and pretend we’re fine when we’re not – especially after a breakup. But the truth is, these events can be hugely disorienting and disruptive because when you’re in a relationship, this becomes part of how you define yourself. 

When that relationship ends, it’s natural to feel a bit lost or unsure. You might replay recent events in your mind and wonder if there was anything you could’ve done differently. These reflections are normal, but if left unchecked, they can impact your self-esteem further and lead to bigger issues later on.

So, rather than simply trying to ‘get over it’, it’s important that you take the time to acknowledge and understand your feelings. Breaking up is a loss, and you need to give yourself time to grieve that person, even if the relationship was struggling for a while. 

Hiding and ignoring your emotions in an attempt to be strong will only delay your healing process. Confidence doesn’t come from pretending everything is okay; it comes from accepting what has happened, healing and moving on with your life. 

Reconnect with yourself and what makes you great 

After a breakup, it’s easy to feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself, which is why this is an ideal time to reconnect with who you are outside of that relationship. 

It’s time to reflect on what you enjoyed before this relationship. Think about hobbies or interests that have fallen by the wayside or any activities you wanted to try but never did. 

Rekindling old passions and discovering new ones can be a great reminder of your strengths and interests and the fact that you can thrive as an individual as well as a partner. 

Confidence is rooted in self-awareness and appreciation, so it can be helpful to make a list of attributes or achievements that you love about yourself, especially those traits that have nothing to do with your ex. 

Yes, we admit this can feel awkward or unnatural at first, but it can also be a great way to shift your focus from what you’ve lost to what you still have and what makes you the awesome person you are. 

Surround yourself with love and support (and that includes your own) 

In our darkest moments, we turn to friends and family to support and uplift us, and a breakup should be no different. Being around the people you love can significantly boost your confidence. 

You might wish to spend time with friends and family, start therapy or join a support group that helps you feel heard and validated. Talking about your feelings with people that make you feel safe can lighten the emotional load. 

But one of the most important parts of healing is to love and support yourself. You should treat yourself with the same kindness you would show others in your situation. Think how you would care for a friend if they were going through a breakup and do the same for yourself. 

This means allowing yourself to make mistakes and understanding that you won’t have all the answers right away and that some days will be harder than others. 

Set yourself small goals and look forward with purpose 

When you’re feeling low after a breakup, it’s understandable that you might want to make some big life changes to reinvent yourself so you can move on and get excited about something new. But unfortunately, these big changes rarely happen overnight. 

That’s why we suggest setting small and achievable goals that reinforce your sense of capability and help to boost your confidence.

This could be something as simple as going for a walk before work each morning, trying new recipes or signing up for the gym or a new club. These small wins can quickly accumulate, and over time, you’ll begin to notice that you’re not just surviving after your breakup, you’re thriving. 

Then, as your confidence builds, you’ll feel ready to start thinking about the future: 

  • What do you want from your life now that your plans have changed? 
  • What kind of relationships do you want to build, not just with potential partners but with everyone around you? 
  • What are your bigger goals – is there anything you’d like to achieve over the next couple of years? 

A breakup can be the perfect opportunity to reconnect with yourself, think about your core values and reimagine the life you want to lead. So, don’t see this as a failure but as a new chapter. After all, confidence doesn’t come from avoiding pain but from overcoming it while growing. 

And when you’re ready to put yourself back out there, we can help. Our team of expert matchmakers can work closely with you to understand your values, hobbies and life goals so they can connect you with like-minded individuals. All you have to do is get in touch.