Playing house is a common trend for too many couples and can be a very subtle yet damaging behaviour.
It happens when couples mimic the behaviours of a long-term, committed relationship without actually having the deeper conversations that are crucial for establishing a solid foundation.
While these relationships might feel genuine and fulfilling for a short while, they have the potential to lead to confusion and heartbreak.
That’s why we’re here to share more details on the impact of playing house and how you can avoid this in new and existing relationships.
What does playing house really mean, and how can it impact individuals?
Playing house can look (and feel) as real as living together, sharing expenses, and even acting like a married couple. However, this is all done without addressing long-term compatibility, giving full commitment or discussing plans for the future.
The trouble is, this can lead to emotional dependence without accountability, which can result in superficial connections and, usually, one partner that is more invested than the other.
The dangers of playing house
When one or both partners engage in this behaviour, the relationship (and the individuals) can suffer in a number of ways.
For example, one person might believe they’re building a future together, while the other is simply enjoying the convenience of the arrangement.
It might also take time for deeper incompatibilities to become apparent. This delayed realisation of misaligned goals can mean that one or both partners have invested significant time, energy, and emotion into a relationship that has no future.
Ultimately, this can cause resentment and heartbreak.
Why has this behaviour become so common
This phenomenon is certainly becoming more common in modern relationships, and this is because our fast-paced world makes it easier to fall into patterns and routines that feel like a relationship milestone.
For example, moving in together or combining finances without actually taking the time to evaluate long-term compatibility and shared goals.
Then there is the fear of difficult conversations as more people shy away from discussing topics like marriage, children or financial goals early on in the relationship. This is usually through fear of commitment or a worry that having this deeper conversation could scare their partner away.
Lastly, movies, social media and today’s societal expectations have romanticised relationships, showing the more superficial side of simply acting the part. Many don’t realise that while romance is important, relationships do require work, and open communication is vital for them to succeed.
How to avoid playing house in a relationship
If you want to build a genuine and meaningful relationship, you need to avoid falling into the trap of playing house. To do that, you should:
Be open and honest
Have open and honest conversations early on in your relationship to discuss long-term goals and expectations. This includes being upfront about marriage, kids, career plans and any other big life decisions.
While these conversations may feel intimidating, they are so important for understanding compatibility and ensuring you’re both on the same page.
Make sure to define the relationship
Just because you live together or spend a lot of time together, don’t assume this equals commitment. It’s important to explicitly discuss what commitment looks like to each of you, continuing these open and honest conversations.
This may also include setting boundaries for living together or financial arrangements to avoid misunderstanding.
Pace yourself
Try not to rush into domestic routines or significant commitments without fully understanding your partner’s intentions and future goals. Take time to evaluate compatibility beyond surface-level habits and take things slowly to ensure no one is misled or hurt.
Look for actions, not just words
Yes, these conversations are critical, but it’s also vital that you pay attention to how your partner behaves rather than just what they say.
Are they consistent in showing commitment, or do their actions suggest they’re only in it for convenience?
Similarly, do they actively work towards their individual goals, as well as your shared aspirations? If not, they may not truly be committed.
Don’t fall victim to playing house
While playing house may seem harmless, especially when everything feels comfortable and fun in the moment, too often, it leads to disappointment.
The key to a successful relationship lies in open communication, clear boundaries and mutual respect. By addressing the tough topics or questions early on and ensuring that you’re aligned on your intentions, you can create a relationship built on trust, honesty and lasting commitment.
If you’ve been the victim of playing house before, or you’re simply on the lookout for a more genuine and meaningful relationship, let our expert matchmakers help.
Get in touch today to start meeting like-minded individuals, those who share common interests and future ambitions for a committed relationship.
