When you’re little and December rolls around, the same age-old Christmas traditions come alive, none more so than Santa’s wish list. From a young age, the list seems to be crammed with the latest crazes and things that at that moment in time are the most important things to you, so why is it we still take this childhood tradition into our adult dating lives?
Did we not learn that items on those wish lists, no matter how important they may seem at the time, are often a short-lived fad, soon to be replaced by something deemed more valuable as our personalities and tastes evolve?
And the same can be said for dating. After all, we can guarantee that how you pictured your perfect partner when you were younger is completely different to the image you have in your mind now. Evolution and changes to our preferences and tastes as we mature are normal, so this year maybe it’s time to scrap the Christmas wish list and head into the New Year with a clear slate, with the possibility of opportunity and here’s why.
How do you know you don’t like something if you’ve never tried it?
Without a list of preconceived expectations and ideas, you can open yourself up to so many different opportunities and possibilities – not just in your potential partner but also yourself.
Just like the question your parents used to ask when you were younger and they wanted you to try something new, “how do you know you don’t like it if you haven’t tried it?” While rock climbing or trekking may not have been on your must-do list previously, trying something new could unlock passions and interests that you had no idea about before.
The same can be said for music, literary and film preferences, dating with an open mind can give you room to grow and develop as an individual too. So next time you are reading over someone’s profile and their music or film choice is causing you to consider declining, take a moment to pause and remember that we don’t have to have everything in common with our partner because actually, those differences in the beginning could be something we grow to love ourselves in the future.
You could be the hurdle in your future happiness
It’s a well-known fact that nobody is perfect. Every one of us has our own little quirks, foibles and imperfections that make us who we are, so why do we expect our partners to be perfect and tick every box on our ever-growing list before we’ll even consider them as a match?
Those little things that you deem important all add up and soon enough you’ll realise that you’re creating the impossible for you, your matchmaker, and your future. For those that are avoidant in their attachment styles, coming up with barriers and reasons why someone is always not quite right is common – but it doesn’t have to be.
If you set off on your dating journey with a long list of criteria, you’re setting yourself up for failing. Each one of those qualities is a barrier that you are putting in place that is getting in the way of your happily ever after.
So instead of starting with a list, when thinking about that perfect partner for you, take a moment to consider what is really important to you. Things like age, height and even location are often the first things pushed aside when focusing on what you need from a partner. Instead, they are often replaced with more important values and aspirations such as the desire for a family in the future.
With a new year comes new opportunities
While having a short but loose list of criteria might help you get your dating journey started, don’t set it in stone. Instead make a resolution to head into the new year with a new approach to dating. Throw away that extensive list of traits and qualities that your new partner must meet and instead enjoy the possibilities that each new date brings – whether they are ‘the one’ or not. After all, all dates are good dates and great practice!
From new date venues and activities to introductions to new favourites, dating should be fun! So, start 2022 with a blank page and no preconceptions and we guarantee that you’ll see a huge turnaround in the success of your dating journey and who knows you might be pleasantly surprised when Mr or Mrs Right turns out to be everything that you didn’t think you wanted – trust us, you wouldn’t be the first!
If you’re single and ready to scrap that Christmas wish list and date more authentically then get in touch with our friendly team today. Our expert matchmakers can guide you every step of the way to help you to determine what really matters and find that perfect partner for you.