How to reject somebody in the dating world

A lot of attention is paid to dealing with rejection after you are turned down by somebody in the dating world. However, it’s important to consider what happens when you are the one who isn’t feeling it. It can be hard to be the cause of somebody else’s disappointment and you may worry how somebody will react to being turned down. 

However uncomfortable you may feel with telling somebody you’ve not interested, it does pay to be upfront and honest about your feelings. It can cause further disappointment down the line if you give somebody you’ve been dating false hope. It’s not fair to play games in the dating world and most people react well to an honest answer about how you feel, even if you feel it’s best to soften the blow. 

However, many daters dread rejecting somebody as it can be an uncomfortable and awkward experience. You might find it tricky to find the correct words and you may worry they will take the rejection extremely personally. However, it’s important to remember you’re letting them know that you don’t think you’d be compatible, rather than criticising who they are. Done in the right way, a rejection will hopefully not be taken personally. 

We’ve shared our top tips for effectively handling a rejection so you can both feel the situation was handled well. Whether you’ve only exchanged a few messages or you’ve been on a few dates, find out more about how to handle rejection the right way. 

Try and avoid ambiguity: Your heart might be in the right place but beating around the bush can cause confusion and string things out. However, you don’t need to be harsh to be direct. You can always pair the rejection with a compliment or a polite sentence or two about how you enjoyed getting to know them. The idea is being clear that you don’t feel a connection and you don’t want to pursue the match any further. Being unclear in your response can cause confusion as the other person will receive mixed signals and think you still potentially interested. Using wishy washy excuses could send signals that you’ll be interested in the future. 

You don’t need to apologise: Saying sorry implies you’ve done something wrong but there is no need to say sorry for not being interested in somebody. You can explain you are flattered by their attention but be clear that you don’t want to take things any further. 

Text messages are OK in the early days:  If you have been chatting to somebody casually or you’ve only had a date or two, it’s fine to send a message saying you don’t want to pursue a romantic relationship. However, if you’ve been seeing somebody for months then they deserve more than a text that says it’s over.  

Never ghost somebody: Even if you don’t want to let somebody down, it never pays to ghost them. Ghosting is hurtful and leads to a lack of closure, as the other person doesn’t understand the reason you disappeared on the face of the earth. They may also blame themselves for things coming to an abrupt halt. The only times it’s OK to ghost somebody is if they react negatively to your rejection and become angry or hurtful.

It’s always important to remember there is a human being behind every dating profile and it can be unfair to treat people in a way you would not like to be treated. Even if you don’t see any potential in the pairing, make sure you are being clear, honest, and upfront. That way they can move on to the next person, who may well turn out to be perfect for them. 

At Ignite Dating, your dedicated matchmaker is with you every step of the way, working closely with you to understand the characteristics and values that are important to you. Our experienced matchmaking team brings a wealth of knowledge and expertise to make your dating journey as streamlined and enjoyable as possible.

Your matchmaker can help you navigate the trickier parts of dating, handling difficult conservations on your behalf so you can relax every time you meet somebody new.

Get in touch today to find out how we can help you!

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