How to deal with being stood up

It’s a dating scenario that everybody dreads. You turn up at the agreed date venue at the time you expected to meet your date, but nobody is there. The clock slowly ticks as you anxiously wait for the text saying they’ve been delayed. You hope to look up and see your date arriving flustered, and full of apologies. Only, nobody turns up. It soon becomes clear you’ve been stood up. 

It can be a devastating scenario to realise your date is a no-show. You can feel exposed, sitting in a venue by yourself with a sinking feeling the other person isn’t coming. Rejection can be incredibly hurtful but it’s important not to take it personally. Thanks to the ease of planning dates via dating apps, it’s not uncommon for people to flake without the courtesy of letting you know. We’ve examined what to do if you fear you’re being stood up and share our techniques for how to handle this situation. 

Firstly, check you are actually being stood up: There are plenty of reasons your date might be running late and unable to make contact. They may be driving or travelling on public transport with no signal. Emergencies can come up as well, or they may have simply forgotten it was tonight you were meeting. It’s worth giving them a buffer of time to arrive, waiting around 15 minutes to see if they are indeed running late. At this point you can send them a text to check if they’ve got mixed up about the venue or the time and date you’re meeting. You don’t want to inadvertently appear to have stood them up, if one of you has headed to the wrong venue. You can always pre-empt any problems by texting the day you are due to get together to casually confirm they are still up for meeting that evening. If they ghost you or cancel, it saves you the bother of heading out. 

Beware of repentant daters: After standing you up, somebody may come crawling back with a pathetic excuse for why they didn’t show up. Trust your gut and don’t be afraid to end things there – you deserve some basic respect and somebody who toys with your emotions is unlikely to have the potential to become a reliable partner. If they are genuinely remorseful or have a plausible excuse, then it’s up to you to decide whether to give them another chance. But remember, there are plenty more people out there who will be genuinely excited about meeting you in the future, so don’t waste your time if you are unsure if somebody is worth getting to know better.  

Dealing with the aftermath of being stood up: OK, so it’s clear they are not going to show up. If you have the opportunity then don’t waste all the effort that went into getting ready for the date and call a friend to meet you, turning the tide to make the most of the evening. The important thing is to ensure you don’t go home and wallow. Call a friend or, even better, carry on your night solo, enjoying the benefits that can come with solo dating. Don’t be afraid to let your friends know what has happened, even if you’ve been bragging about the amazing date you had planned. They are on your side and want the best for you.  

Be cool: If you hear from the person who stood you up again, or bump into them, hold your head up high and be polite, but don’t give them anymore of your precious time. 

The most important thing to remember if you are stood up is not to take it personally. You don’t know what is going on in somebody else’s life and they don’t know you, so the rejection really isn’t personal. Try and focus on the positives and realise that this person probably would not have been right for you anyway if they are disrespectful enough to leave you waiting alone with no explanation. Dust yourself off and carry on with your dating journey – you never know who you might meet the next time around!   
Are you looking for love? Why not give the experts at Ignite Dating a call today. We work hard to find you the perfect partner, using our expert mix of personality profiling, experienced matchmakers, intuition, and our extensive private network. Get in touch today to find out more!

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