We often imagine (and let’s face it, hope) that when you meet the right person, you’ll feel that instant spark and it’ll be love at first sight.
And yes, this has happened in our younger years, but in reality, it can take a little longer to form that genuine connection as we get older.
The challenge is, when you’re looking for love, you don’t want to invest months of your time into a relationship that’s going nowhere. It might seem harsh, but it’s a simple truth.
So, we’re here to uncover how long you should wait for the spark to develop and when it might be time to call it quits.
Immediate attraction Vs. a gradual connection
When they first meet, some lucky people may feel an instant connection – but this is usually based on lust and sexual attraction, rather than being the foundation of a longstanding relationship. But this isn’t the only indicator of compatibility. Don’t be disheartened if you don’t fall in ‘love’ on the first date, by having three dates you may find a gradual spark begins to build.
This can happen as you get to know each other, particularly if you value emotional and intellectual compatibility over simple physical attraction. Sometimes, the more you get to know about someone, the more that flame builds.
So how many dates should you go on?
While there is no one right answer, the most common window to find out whether there’s potential is one to three dates. By the third date, most people will have a clearer sense of their feelings and whether they believe a spark is developing.
If by the third time you meet them, you’re still not smitten but you’re enjoying their company, give it a few more dates. Sometimes that spark takes a little longer to build, and if you enjoy their company, then don’t give up too soon.
If you’re not feeling any chemistry or romantic interest by the fifth or sixth date, this is usually a pretty big sign. At this stage, it’s better to be honest with them and continue your search for that spark elsewhere.
The key things you need to consider
As we’ve said, there is no exact science as to how long that spark takes to develop, and that’s why it’s important to always do what’s best for you. However, as trained experts in dating advice, we’ve put together some key points to consider that can help you make the right decision:
Enjoyment – Do you look forward to seeing them, and are you enjoying the time you spend together? If so, this is a good sign even if strong romantic feelings haven’t developed yet
Openness – Are you both being authentic and open with one another? Sometimes vulnerability and honesty can unlock deeper feelings
Physical attraction – Although looks aren’t everything, physical attraction is important, and if this is absent and not developing, it can be hard for a romantic connection to form
Shared values and goals – If your values and goals align, it is usually worth giving the relationship a little more time to develop to see what happens
Always trust your instincts
What it really comes down to is how you feel, and if you feel pressure to force feelings and find a connection, it may not be the right match. But if you’re enjoying the process and there’s mutual respect and curiosity, give it some time. It might just take a couple of dates for that spark to really grow.
Ultimately, all relationships develop at different paces. So, if you share common interests and goals, it’s okay to take your time to see if a deeper connection forms. But don’t string them (or yourself) along if you don’t feel any sort of connection, especially if you’ve already met several times.
Be honest with the other person (and yourself), move on and continue your quest for the perfect partner, one that lights a fire within you and lets those sparks shine bright.
Are you looking for that special someone but haven’t found them yet? Then we can help. Get in touch with our talented team of matchmakers today, and let’s see if we can make those sparks fly.
