How do you approach somebody in real life?

Does the thought of approaching a total stranger who has caught your eye bring you out in a cold sweat?  Would you be confident enough to make the first move on a night out? You may feel it’s a bold step you could never dream of actually doing, so you might be interested to hear a recent survey found 76% of people are open to being approached by a potential date in real life. 

Many singles avoid approaching people they come across in day-to-day life because asking a stranger out in person risks embarrassment and rejection if they don’t respond well. An article on the New York Post recently pointed out that a recent poll found 45% of men aged 18 to 25 had never approached a woman in person. Another survey found 72% of men said a fear of being perceived as creepy impacts their interactions with women. However, if many single people are happy to be approached in real life, are you missing a trick by being reluctant to strike up a conversation with somebody you’d like to get to know better?

There are many ways to approach a stranger that ensure you aren’t making them feel uncomfortable or confused about your intentions. It’s important to pay close attention to how they respond to your approach and know when to call it quits if they make it clear they aren’t interested romantically. Many people are flattered to be approached and appreciate the authentic connection that can come from meeting in real life versus being approached on an app. 

We’ve shared our top tips for ways to approach somebody to help you be better prepared for making the first move when you are out and about. 

Think about where you approach somebody: It can be tricky to catch somebody’s eye on the morning commute while they may be engrossed by scrolling on their phone or rushing to get to work in time. If you are looking to create opportunities for more natural approaches, then think about places you go where you might share something in common. It could be the place you exercise, a concert, or an evening class. This makes it easier to strike up a conversation based on the common ground you share, and you can pick up on cues from the other person to judge whether they are giving signals that they are also interested romantically. If somebody starts to weave their partner into conversation, it’ll become clear they are attached. 

Try not to worry about the worst-case scenario:  Even the most confident person can feel out of their depth trying to strike up conversation with a stranger who is surrounded by a group of friends. However, if you approach them in a kind and courteous manner it’s unlikely the situation will pan out as badly as you may have feared. Things go wrong when people suspect you of having a hidden agenda or undesirable intentions, so if you are friendly and straightforward the other person will hopefully respond well. Leave cheesy opening lines well alone though, as they might create an instant turn-off. 

Don’t linger if the other person doesn’t appear interested:  It’s important to make an approach quick and move on if the other person don’t seem interested. Turning somebody down may make the other person fear you’ll react badly, so be prepared to be polite and leave. Being too persistent can make somebody uncomfortable so pick up on their reactions, including if they are looking away or getting restless, and politely move on from the conversation. 

Be more approachable: Making eye contact and smiling at strangers when you are out and about makes it much easier to initiate real-life connections. Make sure you come across as friendly and approachable, with welcoming body language instead of crossing your arms or staring down at your phone. You can glean how somebody might react to being approached if they return your smile or make eye contact.   

Move things along: If you are getting the feeling the person you like is mutually interested, you can offer your phone number or share your social media handle so you can communicate further and start planning a formal date to get to know each other better. You can also keep thing casual when you meet by suggesting you should both grab a drink sometime, and if they respond positively, you can get it touch to make the arrangements. 

Don’t forget to rely on your gut feeling when you’re talking to somebody, as their cues and body language should give you a good idea of whether they’re interested in pursuing a romantic connection. Why not try gathering up the courage to approach somebody if you like them as you never know where it might lead you, and the opportunity may never present itself again!

Are you looking for somebody special who will truly understand you and share your values, life goals and aspirations? Your dedicated matchmaker is waiting to introduce you to some truly amazing people. Get in touch today to find out how we can help you with a safe and enjoyable search for love.

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