Navigating the world of modern dating can be very exciting; those first flirtatious glances, planning the first date, getting butterflies in your stomach every time your phone pings.
You know the feeling.
But it can also be nerve-wracking and even overwhelming.
Should you message them first? What should your first message say? Where should you go and what should you do for your first date? What should you wear?
There’s so much to consider in those early stages if you want to make a lasting impression, pave the way for a meaningful connection and, yes, secure a second date.
So how do you make yourself stand out in a sea of potential partners?
Well, we’re going to share some advice on getting it right from the very first message to saying goodbye at the end of your first date.
Crafting the perfect first message
It doesn’t matter how you met, whether that was through mutual friends, a chance happening on the street or through a matchmaking service like Ignite Dating, your first message exchange can feel high pressure.
Don’t make the mistake of sending something generic that can be ignored, like ‘Hey’ or ‘This is Tom’. These messages don’t exactly ignite that spark or encourage them to reply. Instead, it’s better to be more personal and specific, tapping into any information you already know about them.
For example, if you know that they enjoy good coffee, ask them where their favourite coffee place is. This is also a great way to start lining up a venue for a first date.
Well-placed humour or a joke is also a great first step because who doesn’t love someone who makes them laugh?
Just make sure that you keep your messages short and engaging. No one wants to read an essay, especially from someone they’ve just met.
Keeping the conversation flowing
Once you’ve got their attention, you want to maintain an engaging conversation over the coming days before the first date. To do this, you should ask open-ended questions and share personal stories or anecdotes. This will build rapport and help you get to know one another.
Just be careful to avoid overloading them with messages and follow-ups. Give them space to reply and let the conversation flow naturally.
It’s also important to recognise when it’s time to move on to the next step. Don’t let the conversation fizzle out into just another textual exchange. Once you’ve established a comfortable rapport with them, it might be time to suggest a first date.
Asking for the first date
When planning the first date, timing is everything. Too soon, and you might come across as pushy; too late, and you both may have lost interest.
With that in mind, the best time to ask is after you’ve established a fun and engaging conversation. When you do ask them, make sure to be confident but casual and give a specific but flexible plan.
For example, you could suggest a specific activity or place to go whilst giving them the opportunity to choose the date and time.
If they seem hesitant or have a busy schedule, don’t push them for an answer. A polite “No worries, let me know if you’d like to go another time” keeps things open-ended. If they’re truly interested in meeting you, they’ll get back to you to get more formal plans in place.
Making a great impression on the first date
Now that the date is set, the next step is ensuring everything goes well.
It doesn’t matter what you decide to do or where you’re going, whether it’s dinner in the evening or a walk around the local park at lunchtime, you need to make a good impression if you hope to secure another date.
In order to do this, you need to:
- Be punctual – Never leave them waiting, and if you are late for reasons out of your control, make sure to contact them and keep them updated on the situation until you arrive.
- Dress appropriately – What you wear will depend on the activity, but it’s important that whatever you’re doing, you look well-presented and put together. Looking like you haven’t made any effort just won’t do it, even if you’re going on a muddy dog walk or just grabbing a quick coffee.
- Keep the conversation balanced – You don’t want your first date to feel like an interview; you also don’t want to dominate the conversation. So, make sure to actively listen to them and offer thoughtful questions or responses.
- Avoid contentious subjects – Similarly, there are some topics you should probably avoid on the first day, topics such as politics, unless, of course, this is a shared interest.
- Choose the right venue – Opt for a place that allows for easy conversation or choose fun activities that you’re both interested in. Loud bars or crowded restaurants can be stressful and make it hard to have an enjoyable conversation with one another.
- Be mindful of your body language – During the date, maintain good eye contact, smile naturally and use open body language to show you’re interested. Avoid crossing your arms or looking at your phone frequently, as this suggests you’re not all that interested in what they have to say.
Ending on a positive note
If the date goes well, make sure to express how much you enjoyed spending time with them without going over the top.
A simple “I had a great time today. Let’s do this again soon” should suffice.
If you’re interested in a second date, it’s also a good idea to follow up within a day or two with a message reiterating what a nice time you had. This will increase your chances of getting a second date in the diary.
Are you ready to put yourself out there?
Making a lasting impression from the first message to the first date involves authenticity, confidence and effort.
Of course, you have to meet that special someone and exchange numbers first. So, if you’re looking for love and genuine connection this year, get in touch with our team of talented matchmakers today and you could be arranging your first date in no time.
