Downplaying success in the dating world

Should career success matter in the dating world? While it would be unfair to consider anybody overqualified for love, successful women do sometimes downplay their achievements and hide their success, by being overly modest about their career highs and achievements when they date. They fear men will be threatened by entering a relationship with somebody who earns more money than they do.

It is sadly the case that some men are threatened or intimidated by a career-driven woman’s success, with studies suggesting that a woman who flies high in her career can make a man feel emasculated or inferior. Due to traditional views on gender roles, a man may feel his place should be as the provider and breadwinner, and the relationship can be marred by resentment and unhealthy competition. Some women will drop their goals or tone down their plans to suit their relationships – or even give up their career altogether.  While this does happen, it certainly doesn’t mean career plans have to be abandoned to succeed in a commited relationship. 

Don’t dull your shine 

A flourishing career is a big part of your life so it’s important to be honest and upfront about professional success in the dating world. It is possible, when writing dating profiles and while in conversation, to downplay the high-income element that comes with a career path if there are fears about attracting the wrong sort of people. 

The busy nature of high-powered roles can mean it is hard to commit time for dating, as a high-pressured job can lead to long hours and constant distractions. However, those first few dates are crucial and it’s important to switch off and really focus on the person you are with to have the best chance of forging a connection. Experts are keen to point out the importance of making your relationship a priority in your life, even when work is all-consuming. 

When somebody is used to being in control it can be hard to let go and while they might have a very specific way of doing things at work, it’s a big shift in mindset to be open-minded when it comes to dating. Some women are afraid of letting people know what they want from a relationship, fearing they will come across as intimidating or demanding. Sometimes their approach to work, which may involve managing people, telling them what to do, or arguing to make a point, can creep into the relationship space and end up alienating a partner, explains the Huffpost. It’s not because they can lead and be in charge, it’s that men are put off by somebody who feels the need to prove it around them. 

Likeminded people often have relationship success 

Relationships are often built on partners having similar backgrounds, values, and attitudes on life. So it’s fairly common for women to search for likeminded partners with a similar educational status – a study of women in their forties in the US showed 51% married a partner with the same degree. Those with common mindsets are often happiest. Having similar intellectual levels can be an advantage in a relationship, reports Cosmopolitan, ensuring you have an equal partnership. 

According to relationship expert Tracey Cox, high achieving woman do like to go for high-achieving men. However, she recommends being less rigid by focusing a search for love on attributes such as kindness, generosity and sense of humour rather than focusing on what somebody is earning. As the Daily Mail reports, she explained in a recent podcast how general chemistry and attractiveness are enough to make people happy

It can even work well in the long run when a partner has a less-pressured job with flexibility that will suit the other person’s demanding schedule. Somebody with a flexible career can be a good match to help juggle that all-important worklife balance. 

High-powered woman can consider working with a matchmaking agency, which offer plenty of benefits for successful people. Ignite Dating, for example, offers clients complete privacy and discretion. Many clients don’t want their profile online for friends, family, and colleagues to see, especially if they are particularly recognisable in their industry. They enjoy the convenience of working with a matchmaker who takes all the hard work out of their search for love, which can be invaluable to those with demanding work schedules. Matchmakers work hard to understand the sort of person a client is hoping to meet and they use their extensive expertise to introduce them to amazing people. 

Are you keen to meet somebody special? Then turn to the experts at Ignite Dating! We are experts at understanding what you want from a partner and can provide you with an easy and stress-free search for love. Get in touch today to find out more

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