Dating can be a scary prospect, for both men and women. But it does not have to be. Thankfully, the dating landscape has moved on in recent years and the historic expectations to make the first move, pick up the bill and plan everything down to the smallest detail are outdated and no longer necessary. The playing field has now levelled, and women are just as likely to share the responsibility and take control of their love lives as the men – but where do you start?
The common misconception that men should not ask for advice or discuss their feelings has led many men to struggle at times when it comes to flirting, dating, and even portraying their feelings when they are in a relationship. Despite the changes in the dating landscape and the growing equality of the sexes, men still seem to be bound by the archaic rules of the past when it comes to matters of the heart.
So, if you are a single gentleman who finds dating almost impossible, let us help you with our dating advice for men to help navigate this changing dating landscape.
Put yourself out there
Whether you have had your heart broken in the past or are overwhelmingly shy, burying your feelings and focusing on work or other interests is not going to help you find that special someone. Just like the lottery, you need to be in it to win it – finding that perfect partner for you is going to be impossible if you do not put yourself out there.
Remember nerves are natural
While dating can be a fun and exciting experience when you get into it, everybody experiences nerves and uncertainty when they first get back on the dating scene – especially if you have been out of it for a long time. Rather than running away from it or hiding behind other commitments, embrace the moment and remember that just like you any potential matches will be feeling nervous when they first meet you.
Find the right platform for you
With the evolution of technology, it is now easier than ever before to meet people outside of your work and social circles. At your fingertips you have access to hundreds of dating platforms – but with so many to choose from the search for the right one can be overwhelming. If you are looking to go down the online dating route, think about yourself and the type of person that you wish to attract. Online dating sites differ enormously, so it is important to consider whether you would like a platform that focuses on interests, lifestyles or even political or religious views, to find the right one for you.
However, if the thought of labour-intensive scrolling through profiles does not appeal to you or you have tried it before without much luck, there are other ways to meet people. Matchmakers and introduction agencies are fast becoming the option of choice for busy men across the UK. From writing your profile and arranging your photos to sourcing and selecting the right introductions for you, your dedicated matchmaker will do all the hard work so you can just sit back, relax, and wait for the matches to come rolling in.
First impressions count
It may seem obvious but just like a job interview, first impressions on a date are crucial to there being a second date. You do not want to be remembered as the guy that did not make an effort or show any interest. The easiest way to make a good first impression is to try with your appearance. Have a shower, do your hair, and pick an outfit that works for both smart and casual dates even if they are virtual meetings. We always think you can never go wrong with a shirt and smart jeans or trousers but do not forget the footwear! If you opt for shoes make sure they are polished and not scuffed, if your date is more casual then trainers are okay just be sure that they are clean and not too worn out.
Do not overthink those first conversations
If you are not a naturally bubbly person, the thought of talking to complete strangers may overwhelm you and as a default you may turn to cheesy one liners in a bid to impress – but don’t! Instead, talk to them like you are already friends and just be yourself. If you make good eye contact, smile, and show a genuine interest in what they are saying, you will find the conversation flows much more easily and you (and your date!) will feel more relaxed and at ease.
Remember to follow up after the date
Always send a message to your date afterwards to thank them for their time and let them know that you had a good date. And if that chemistry is not there for you, which it doesn’t have to be, just be honest and let them know that you had a good time but that you feel that the chemistry was not right. By letting them know it will allow them to move on rather than wondering what they did wrong.
If you enjoyed the date and would like to see them again, tell them. The age-old rule of playing hard to get does not work in the modern dating world, so let them know that you would like to see them again – just remember not to come on too strong.
Talk it through with someone you trust
One of the best things to do when the date is over is to talk it through with someone you trust, whether that is a friend or even a matchmaker. It is good to have a conversation with an impartial person about the date regardless of whether it went well or not as it will allow you to get an objective opinion on the way it panned out and how best to proceed next.
One of the greatest and most surprising benefits of using a matchmaker is that they can help you learn so much about yourself. They can give you more confidence and help you to relax, taking away the additional stress of worrying whether there is a common romantic interest. Using a matchmaker can help to make the dating journey much clearer and after a while, even though some dates may not always work out, you will come to feel better about the fact that they were not right for you so you can move on and begin meeting other potential partners with whom you have that spark.
At Ignite Dating, we know that everybody is different which is why a tailored dating advice for men is so important. By working with your very own matchmaker, they will be able to guide you on your very own dating journey and help you find that perfect match – asking all the right questions to get to know you almost as well as your friends and family do, and really focus on getting the best out of you. To find out more and start your journey to find that special someone, get in touch with our friendly team today.