Entering your thirties is a time many singletons evaluate what they want from dating. This can be a pivotal period where you may look to put the game-playing of dating behind you to focus on the goal of finding a serious and committed relationship. The good news is, although there are challenges to contend with, there can be plenty of positives to dating when you’ve passed this milestone birthday.
Many singletons find dating in their thirties can be very different to dating in your twenties. It often comes down to dating with intent. When you are in your twenties, dating can be all about the experience and you may have plenty of fun along the way dating people who wouldn’t usually tick all your boxes. The dating game can be care-free and a lot more enjoyable when you aren’t really looking for anything too serious, and it’s a great opportunity to learn a lot more about what you want from a partner.
When you hit your thirties, you are often no longer dating for the sake of dating. You have a much better idea of your end-goals, whether they are settling down and having children, or a burning desire to put an end to the game-playing and casual nature of swiping for dates. You can decide what you really want in a partner, using all the experience gleaned from the dating experiences you enjoyed in your twenties. It’s possible you may have had your fingers burned along the way, experiencing heartbreak and bad relationships, but this ultimately helps to emphasise how important it is your future partner has the values, aspirations, and outlook on life that you are looking for.
It’s good to be upfront about dating intentions as it can help eliminate dates who just want to have a bit of fun. While it’s OK to know what you are looking for in a partner, it’s not a good look to be firing questions at them on your first date to establish their 10-year career plan or thoughts on marriage and children. As you enjoy getting to know somebody, you can use discretion but be honest to sound out if you are on the same page and to explore whether there’s a connection there.
It’s important to avoid the urge to settle for somebody who isn’t quite right, especially if you’re feeling the pressure of pals coupling up and your pool of single friends dwindling. It’s so important to recognise you’ve got a lot to give and that you’d be happier single rather than settling for something which is just not quite right. Be on the lookout for people who are in panic mode and desperately looking to settle down rather than putting in the work to establish whether they have a genuine connection with somebody new.
The most important factor to remember is that dating in your thirties can be extremely enjoyable. You are more confident about what you want, you’re likely to be more established in your career and home-life, and you’re prepared to ditch the timewasters in favour of those with romance potential. Dating is meant to be fun, and you’ll enjoy it even more if you are relaxed and letting the real you shine through on dates. It helps to put some perspective on the situation and realise that dating isn’t everything, it’s just part of a satisfying life you’ve created for yourself.
Don’t get too hung up on the end goal as you’ve still got plenty of time to meet someone, and if it all becomes too much, don’t be afraid to take some time away from dating to focus on yourself. You’ll then be in a much better place emotionally when you do feel ready to embark on the search for love again.
It is also important to recognise there is nothing wrong in looking for a helping hand when it comes to your dating journey. Working with a matchmaker can be a real asset in your search for love, with the advantage of outsourcing the hard work of finding somebody new. Matchmakers are experts at understanding what you want from a relationship, and they use their intuition and extensive private network to make suggestions of people you’ll really enjoy meeting. With an expert in your corner, you’ll be in the best place to enjoy an effortless and stress-free search for love.
Here at Ignite Dating we understand your goal is a long-term, committed relationship and we work hard with you to help you find the perfect partner. Get in touch today to find out more about how our expert matchmaking team specialise in hand-selected introductions, helping you find a life partner who shares the same values, aspirations, and lifestyle as you.
